


With or Without You

by ByArasDesign



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Depression, Drug Use, FBI Agent Sam, First Time, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humor, Incest, Infidelity, Iraq War, M/M, Marine Corps Dean, Minor Character Death, Multi, Murder, Mystery, Navy Corpsman Castiel, Non-Consensual Violence, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Harm, Sex Club, Suicide, Tattoo Artist Charlie, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, WIP, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 107,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByArasDesign/pseuds/ByArasDesign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel AU- 'With or Without You' spans 26 years beginning December of 1988 (when Dean and Castiel are 15) and carries on through the year 2014. </p><p>Not only do the relationship/lives of Dean and Castiel revolve, evolve and in some aspects, change forever... but so do the lives/relationships of everyone around them.</p><div class="center">
  <p>The inspiration and title for this fic came from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZKnQRkWzLI"><b>U2's <i>With or Without You</i></b></a></p>
  <p> <b>Yeah, we'll shine like stars in the summer night.<br/>We'll shine like stars in the winter light.<br/>One heart. One hope. One Love.<br/><i>--added lyrics during <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZKnQRkWzLI"><b>1987 The Joshua Tree Tour</b></a></i><br/></b><br/></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. December 14, 1988 (Wednesday)

**Author's Note:**

>   
>    
>  [VISIT HERE PLEASE](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kiguMXvTAqBxRr39hyqNtJ2uOF9zC0OBmY6HagBWjAU/edit?usp=sharing)   
>  **Soundtrack can be found under the above link!**   
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>  **ADDITION:** I had to add this here ([ **click here to watch**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g5D8DOe77k)).
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> A fan of this fic saw this video and brought it to my attention. It reminded her of this story and she got hit heavy with the feels. I watched. To be honest, I felt punched in the gut and my heart raced at the same time. I get goosebumps every time I see it, and I bawled like I did at the end of T &S when I first watched the video. I think it hit me as hard as it did because I know what happens to all of these characters. While the literal Hell Dean (in particular) and Cas have to go through to get their happy ending is enough, they are not the only ones whose lives are completely turned upside down either. This story has hit me in ways I didn’t even know was possible for a story. I even have a hard time thinking about this story as mine. It feels like it came through me... not from me. This fic started out as a therapy session to help make sense of my life. When my father (whom I believe was one of the few soul-mates I have in this life) passed away on Christmas Day, 2013, this story turned into a comfort which might seem odd considering many of the things that happens in it. Then, to the few people I have told the whole story to... it has somehow became soooooo much more.
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to put this here to kinda introduce the emotions fans of the fic already feel, and the feels I get just thinking about everything that happens to all of the characters as the years pass. Especially listen if this is your first time reading it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Missouri whacked John’s hand with a wooden spoon playfully and John snapped it back from the pot._
> 
>  
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>   _“John Winchester! You’re as bad as your boys. Wash up!”_
> 
>   _John laughed and gave her a tight side hug before affectionately planting a kiss on her temple. “Yes, ma’am.” As he was leaving, Missouri reached out and grabbed his wrist. John turned to her, his features reflected the concern he found in her own._
> 
>   _“What is it?” He asked her lowly._
> 
>   _Missouri pulled him further towards the front door and she responded in a hushed voice. “The boy-" She paused to take a look around him to make sure none of the boys were lurking around the corner. Satisfied, she looked back to him and she shook her head from side to side._
> 
>  
> 
> _“There’s darkness all around that boy, John." Her voice wavering at the end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning this fic, Sam is 11 (4 months before turning 12). I don't picture him as the 11 year old version of Sam played by Colin Ford of the same age. Instead, I picture him as the 9th grade Sam version [here](http://www.supernaturalfansonline.com/gallery/albums/episode_stills/season_04/413_afterschool/normal_SN413__0025.jpg) and [here](http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/colin_ford/img/Colin_Ford_102.jpg), which shows his hair how I picture it... just a TAD more shaggy which was typical in the 80's. Think River Phoenix [here](http://weloveya.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/river-phoenix-man-punk.jpg) style. 
> 
> As for how Gabe looks, I imagine him looking like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2keQmmZQt3w) actually.

 

##  December 14, 1988 ( _Wednesday_ )

 

Dean gazed out at the dim sky through the passenger side window of his Dad's black 1967 Impala. A sigh of rare contentment emanated from him as he rested his head against the cold glass. He was lost in idle thoughts as he basked in the warmth blasting from the heater. He smiled lazily in response to the faint rattling from Legos he had shoved down the vents a few years before. He wondered why his dad hadn’t killed him or why his old man had never pulled the dash apart to remove them. Not thinking of the consequences, he had done it on a dare by his lil' bro. He could never tell the kid ‘ _no_ ’ and Sam used it to his advantage- often.

Strong gusts of winter wind rocked the car at random intervals; a telltale forewarning of Indiana snow on its way. It was the kind of omen that curved the corners of Dean's mouth into another listless smile. His fingers tapped contentedly on his thigh to the beat of Neil Young's ' _[Ohio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkg-bzTHeAk)_ ' which played faintly through the speakers, and another contented sigh released. Yeah, it was definitely starting to look like an early release day from school, and he was getting excited about that prospect. This was an enthusiasm his lil' bro didn't seem to share if his disgruntled groaning from the back seat was anything to go by. Sam's sixth grade class was slated for a field trip to the State Museum of History and Science. If what the Meteorologist said on the morning news panned out, that trip simply wasn’t going to happen.

“Dude, you get stoked over the lamest stuff.” Dean teased his younger brother on his twentieth groan since leaving the house.

Sam rolled his eyes, and sighed as moved his long shaggy bangs off his face with the sweep of a broad hand. It proved a futile effort because the tresses fell right back where they had been. Even the jerk his head made trying to shift them was to no avail.

“It’s not lame Dean. _You’re_ lame.” he replied through narrowed eyes that focused on the passing trees beyond the glass.

Dean’s mouth opened and then closed. The comeback for his bratty ass brother was halted in his throat when another voice cut in.

“Stow it boys. That’s enough.”

“But Dad!” Dean attempted to protest.

John Winchester turned his head to look at Dean, his eyes making direct contact with his son's. He shot up an index finger and made a short point in the air in Dean’s direction before returning it to the steering wheel. “That’s an order.”

Dean didn’t bother to try to push his petitions since all of them died at the look in his dad’s eyes. When their old man said something was an order, it was simply a done deal. Saying anything else would mean pressing for an ass whoopin' when they got home. Even though Dean was turning fifteen next month, he was pretty damn sure he wasn’t beyond corporal punishment. Even if he had doubt, he sure the hell wasn’t about to test the waters over something like this at any rate.

Dean’s shoulders sank under more weight than just defeat. “Yes Sir.” Dean replied as Sam echoed the same response from the back seat.

Their father was loving. He never spared the hugs or chastised them for their tears, but he was strict. John had been a Marine who had done a harrowing tour in Vietnam that he couldn’t talk about without weeks of drinking and nightmares following. Now, being one of the top homicide detectives in the state, experience had shown him the world wasn't just ugly, unjust and brutal on the field of battle. That weighted truth ensured John’s ' _tight leashed_ ' approach to raising his sons. Dean remembered when his dad changed. He knew the precise moment the leashes became a necessity for their dad's peace of mind, when their mom had died.

_Mary_

Sam had no memory of their mother, of course. He had just been a baby, but Dean having been four at the time seemed to be damned to just one rememberance. Every detail about his mother during better days were becoming faded patches of memory. Her smile that lit rooms; how her hugs felt as they enclosed him when he was sad or scared; the sound of her voice when she soothed or encouraged- all of it, gone. The counter weight to that? He would never be allowed to erase how her death mask looked as it contorted in anguish and pain, nor what her screams sounded like. The scent of her flesh and hair as it burned away from her bones and turned to ash. Even now, that scent was there with his every inhalation in all its vivid glory.

In a knee jerk reaction, Dean reached into the pocket of his jacket that was draped over his leg closest to the door. He fingered the joint that was secreted away in a ziplock baggy there. What he wouldn’t give right now to be able to light it up and numb the memories so instantly crushing his chest. Just a stolen moment with the heady incense of herb to chase away the phantom rancid scent lingering somewhere between the back of his nose and his mind. Dean’s thoughts broke when John moved his hand to adjust the heater settings and turn on the windshield wipers.

Dean turned his attention to the road ahead taking notice of the droplets of rain beginning to tap against the windshield; finding himself praying for the thoughts to go back to where they had come from. Not that that God was listening to _his_ prayers. No, that ol’ Killjoy had walked out of his life on tongues of flames, never bothering to looking back. As much as he probably should be angry at God over the abandonment, he knew he was guilty of a worse crime. It had been none other than himself who had failed her. Dean glowered and sighed; adjusting his focus to the lines in the road as they speed towards them only to vanish under the car. It was a piss poor attempt to loosen the grip his thoughts suddenly had on the past, he knew it. His thoughts only scattering when his eyes caught hold of a dark form far ahead at the right hand side; just at the edge of the road.

At first, Dean thought it might have been a small tree; even though he had no recall of there ever being a tree this close to the road before. As they got closer, he noticed the form was moving and human. ‘ _Who in the hell would be walking in this shit weather?_ ’ After all, the homes on this particular stretch of road were mostly farm houses with lots of acreage between them. It was too damn cold for someone to be walking in it, and they were completely insane if they were trying to walk into the city. Dean’s curiosity was peaked as he righted his slouching frame, bringing himself up tall and straight. He craned his neck; squinting into the gloom in an effort to see more of the figure through the back and forth of windshield wipers.

When they were roughly thirty feet away from passing the figure, Dean noticed the frame was of a boy about his height with a dark colored backpack slung over his right shoulder. The headlights of the Impala lit the ground; the beam making its way up the line of boy’s body as they passed him. The only thing he was wearing to shelter him from the weather was a [denim jacket and a grey hoodie](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTYwWDU2MA==/z/wgEAAOSwVFlT2tVs/%24_35.JPG) underneath, and pulled up over his head. His hands were firmly tucked into the pockets of the jacket. “What the _hell_?” John said to himself more than to his sons as he quickly pulled over in front of boy’s path. Dean glanced over to his dad who was looking in his rear view mirror when the car came to a rough stop; tires skidding on the loose gravel. His dad’s brow furrowed and lips parted. Dean knew that look. His dad was concerned and pissed at the same time; protective instincts fully engaged. In all likelihood, someone on down the line was going to catch hell and Dean was grateful it wasn't going to him. John rolled down his window and the frigid conditions outside quickly filled the car making Dean shiver as he looked out at the side mirror trying to get a better look at the boy. Sam was doing the same as he got on his knees to look out the back window. John reached over Dean and pulled the latch to the glove box which fell open against his son's knee. He bypassed his service issued Glock and grabbed the long wallet that housed his badge. Closing the glove box, he looked in his rear view once more.

 

 

**~*~**

The rumble of the engine startled Castiel and he shivered as frigid air whipped around him. His layered denim jacket and attached hoodie was no match against it. He should have worn something more on a morning like this, but he was almost always too hot with anything more than a tee-shirt. Plus, he refused to wear anything big and bulky just on principle alone. When the car pulled off the side of the road just several feet ahead, Castiel stopped dead in his tracks. It wasn’t fear that had stalled his steps, it was curiosity. Call it a failing or simply the consequence of being a Novak, but there wasn’t much that Castiel feared.

He stayed still until he saw a small hand rubbing at the foggy back window of the car. The face of a boy younger than him peered out and smiled at him. Even at this distance it was infectious and Castiel couldn’t help but return it with a tilt of of his head, forging a timid one of his own. He noticed the shadows of two figures in the front seat of the car, one clearly an adult and the other likely a teen. The adult leaned over towards the person in the front seat like they were reaching for something and then righted themselves again. The young boy staring and still smiling from the back seat waved; beckoning him to come closer. So, Castiel did just that without giving it another thought. He walked past the back of the dark, long bodied car as the boy in the back seat followed him with body and eyes until he was sitting again with a bounce that rocked the car. When Castiel got to the driver’s side, he nodded slightly to the man staring back at him.

“Sir?” Castiel asked cautiously.

“Hey son. Don’t mean to alarm you.” John looked down to his lap, opened his wallet. He glanced back up displaying his badge to the young man. “My name’s John Winchester. I’m a detective for the Bartholomew Police Department. Off duty. Can I ask where you’re headin'?" Eyes still stead on the boy's, he put the badge down beside him and returned his hand to the steering wheel, his wrist resting on the edge of it lazily.

“Bus stop.” Castiel answered simply.

John frowned, “Nearest is a mile ahead.” His brow tightened. “Where do you live?”

Castiel shrugged, “Just off East County Road.”

John shifted in his seat and nodded. “That’s two miles back.” He rubbed his salt and peppered beard as he milled something over.

Castiel watched John's brows tighten further. The detective was obviously bothered by the distance. Before Castiel could reassure the man he was fine, the detective nodded as if making a decision. He reached toward his door handle and pulled it. Castiel stepped back as the long door opened with a crack and a drawn out creak. John stepped out and stood to the side, “Come on. I’m giving you a lift to school. _Northside Middle_ , right?” John smiled warmly at Castiel.

Castiel nodded confirming the school and adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. “Thank you for the offer, but I can manage.”

John nodded, his smile unchanged, “Son. That wasn’t an offer. It’s colder than a coal miner’s crack out here. With what you're wearing, by time you reached the bus stop you’ll not only have missed the bus, but will have frozen to death. I’m taking you to school. Now, hop in.”

Castiel could tell John wasn’t going to let him continue alone and the warmth flowing out the open door was too welcoming so he conceded with a nod. He slid cautiously into the back seat. The the young boy who had been watching him from the back seat, moved over to allow him room. He was still smiling at him when Castiel released his backpack to the confines of the floor board before pulling his hoodie from his head. The boy offered his hand to Castiel.

“Hi! My name’s Sam. Sam Winchester!”

Castiel took his warm hand and shook it, “Castiel. Castiel Novak.” he responded in kind.

When he turned away from Sam to face the front, he noticed another hand in front of him. He looked at it, allowing his eyes to follow up the slope of a bear arm which was a path that led to green eyes and a warm smile. Castiel's lips parted slightly in an attempt to say something, but he lost the words somewhere between his heart and his lungs.

The teen in front of him appeared about his age with shaggy, just-below-the-ear dirty blonde hair. His features were gentle, handsome and his mouth perfect. His eyes, though, were by far the most compelling thing about the boy. Lashes, long and thick, were dark halos which accented the green flawlessly.

Dean was making observations of his own within those frozen seconds that sat heavily between them. The slightly smaller framed teen before him had pointed features and dark brown- just out of bed mess of hair that stopped mid neck. He was staring at him with the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. Even in the dark cabin of the car, they shined. ‘ _Intense_ ’ was the word for them. As they continued to stared back at him, Dean felt like they were peering straight into him and examining even the dark places he never let touch the light of day. The possibility the other boy could, caused goose-bumps to rise over the flesh of his arms.

And damn the guy was beautiful. Dean flinched mentally at his brain’s choice of that word but it really was the one word to describe him- ‘ _beautiful_ ’, and the bow of his lips fascinated Dean. He had never seen lips like Castiel's and odd thoughts started to flood in on their own accord. ‘ _What would those lips feel like if I touched them with my finger tips or even with my own lips?_ ' Dean’s tongue slid between his own lips, licking over them in some strange reflex at the thought.

Castiel watched the teen’s reaction and realizing he was staring at the boy’s mouth, flickered his eyes back to meet green eyes once again. Dean observed all this curiously, hand still out stretched towards Castiel. When Castiel recovered a split second later, he took Dean’s hand and shook it. Dean suddenly felt relieved that perhaps his thoughts hadn’t betrayed him and offered, “Name’s Dean.” Castiel nodded once and let his hand go, but Dean’s eyes and smile lingered on him for a few moments more until John pulled the car back onto the road.

They sat in comfortable semi-silence for a few miles. Castiel tuned his ear to hear the music coming from the speakers, and a faint but pleased smile spread over his mouth as Neil Young’s ' _[Old Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SohdgRsaJCo)_ ’ began to play- his fingers automatically tapping his leg to the beat. Finally, John spoke breaking the silence. “So, Castiel? You’ve just moved here?”

He glanced up at the back of John's head and answered, “Yes Sir. How did you know?” his head tilting curiously.

John chuckled, “Cop?” He looked up into the rearview, shooting him a smile before turning his eyes to the road again. “I know everyone in Elizabethtown and nearly everyone in this county. Your last name’s new and your first name is unique enough I’d remember it if you were already a resident.” John saved going into the details about how he was also aware the house that had been for sale on the road Castiel mentioned was now sold. Deductive reasoning was John’s strong suit and it made him great at his job.

Castiel nodded and shifted his gaze to his hands, which rested on his lap. When his eyes came back up again, they touched on Dean who was turned slightly, looking at him. He shifted in the seat, responding evenly despite how exposed Dean’s gaze was making him feel. “We moved here a few weeks ago.” Castiel stopped there, not wanting to get into any more details about his family than he had to. To Castiel's relief, John merely nodded in response asking no further questions. Dean was still looking at him with an added soft upturn of lips. Castiel met the smile with one of his own and they stayed like that until Sam’s voice made them both jerk.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Castiel reluctantly turned his sight from Dean’s to the younger boy whose eyes were wide, expectant and excited. Sam oddly reminded Castiel of a hyper puppy. He would have reached out and patted the boy’s shaggy head if he had known him better.

“Yes. Two brothers and a sister. I’m the youngest.”

Sam looked a little down at the news that none of them were his age, but he perked right back up. “What’s their names? Do they go to school too?”

Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle at Sam’s enthusiasm. “Michael, Gabriel and Anna. Michael is no longer in school, but Gabriel is a senior and Anna a freshman in High School.” Castiel answered.

Sam nodded, “Awesome.”

“Sometimes.” Castiel replied.

When he turned his attention back to Dean, he found the other boy had finally turned to face the front. Castiel spent the rest of the ride shifting his eyes from looking out his window to stealing quick glances at Dean’s side profile. Something about the other boy was drawing Castiel in. If the other teen’s prolonged stares were any gauge, the feelings were likely mutual. It was a strange and completely foreign sensation that Castiel frankly had no name for. There was no point of reference for the inability to keep his eyes off the guy and the word ‘ _attraction_ ’ just over simplified it.

Their first stop was to drop Sam off at his school. As they drove up to the building, Castiel was impressed. [_Southside Elementary_](https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x886b9f5231800c11:0x1f75234cf81be6d8!2m5!2m2!1i80!2i80!3m1!2i100!3m1!7e1!4shttp://www.panoramio.com/photo/105887652!5ssouthside+elementary+school+columbus+indiana+-+Google+Search&sa=X&ei=MdXyVMOnD4SqyQSz54LgDg&ved=0CH8QoiowCg) was a massive square building of concrete, jutting parapets and slanted glass windows which surrounded the top perimeter of the [monolithic building](http://cdn2.columbus.in.us/listings/architecture/SouthsideSchool.jpg). In all the places he had lived and gone to school- even overseas, this was the most impressive architecture for a school he had ever seen given its simplicity. Dean was craning his head to look up at it as they passed by to find a parking spot.

“This place still looks like a prison to me.” Dean remarked. Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother in response. Castiel was willing to wager they had this disagreement before.

“Actually, it looks like a castle to me.” Castiel amended quickly.

Sam’s brow relaxed and he smiled at Castiel. He shifted fully to face the older boy and replied, “Yeah! Like a castle. See, I told you Dean!”

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Castiel smiled back at Sam and added, “I believe they call this style of architecture ‘ _béton brut_ ’”, he said in perfect French.

Dean turned to Castiel with one eyebrow raised sharply. Castiel looked at him in kind, his furrowed brow quietly questioning what Dean's look was about. ' _Had he said something wrong_?'  Dean said nothing though and turned back to the front.

Castiel suddenly felt a little out of place which always happened at some point when speaking around people his own age. He was always ahead of most his age in life experience and knowledge. He used to try really hard to appear on the same level so he could relate, but it eventually showed through despite his efforts. The resulting alienation was always predictable. His sister, Anna, always called him an ' _old soul_ ’. She said those two words like they meant something special- a gift, but it wasn’t a gift to Castiel. Those two words meant he was doomed to be different which often left him feeling and being utterly alone in ways it mattered most.

John parked next to other parents who were ushering their children from their cars. “Need to speak to the coach about Sport Camp this summer." John informed.

John didn’t ask if Dean or Castiel wanted to go inside with them, instead they piled out and John didn’t protest. For Castiel, it was curiosity about seeing the inside of the structure. For Dean it was a need to get out, stretch his legs, and to get a better look at the other teen.

They made their way up the concrete steps, Dean adjusting and buttoning up his jacket along the way that he had put on before getting out of the car. John grabbed the door hurriedly, holding it open for a woman and her young son. She smiled at him sweetly, “Good morning, detective!” John smiled back with a nod, “Mornin', Mrs. Martin.” he responded as she walked in ahead of them. John Winchester hadn’t been over exaggerating when he said he knew everyone. Castiel wondered how long it would be until the officer grew curious enough to dig up information on his family, and found out just who he was. So far it seemed that no one was the wiser. Castiel wanted to fit in for as long as possible. If John dug, he hoped the man wouldn’t go to the press. Fortunately, he didn’t seem like the type that would.

Once inside, Castiel marveled at the interior which was light and airy. Various world flags attached to the cieling above them moved slightly, most likely from the activity of students going to and from. The centerpiece of the building was a [concrete staircase](https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x886b9f5231800c11:0x1f75234cf81be6d8!2m5!2m2!1i80!2i80!3m1!2i100!3m1!7e1!4shttp://www.panoramio.com/photo/105887652!5ssouthside+elementary+school+columbus+indiana+-+Google+Search&sa=X&ei=MdXyVMOnD4SqyQSz54LgDg&ved=0CH8QoiowCg) that led to the second story. The ceiling above almost all open skylights. Castiel was pretty sure that if the sun had been out, it would have lit the light colored concrete work of the stairs, making it reminiscent of some sort of stairway to the Heavens. This was not at all what Castiel had been expecting, and he mentally gave a bow to the architect.

John put a supportive hand on his youngest son’s shoulder. “Come on, Sammy. Get on to class. I gotta hurry here and get the boys to their school before the first bell.” John hugged Sam briefly and then petted his hair playfully as Castiel had the urge to do earlier.

“Aww, Dad man. Not cool!” Despite the complaint, Sam smiled as he shoved the hair back out of his face. Before running to the stairs, Sam turned to Castiel. “Nice to meet you, Castiel.” he said genuinely, and then he was gone.

John smiled after Sam a moment before turning to Dean and Castiel. “You two stay put. I see the coach over there.” John inclined his head towards the cafeteria.

Castiel and Dean stood silently next to each other. Both were trying to distract themselves with the bustle of students scrambling to get to their classes. Castiel snuck a few unseen glances at the other teen and observed Dean was slightly taller than himself and carried a broader frame. Even though his upper body was covered by a light brown, [well-worn bomber jacket](http://www.vintagetrends.com/thumbnails_/lot/788/788-1612.jpg), Castiel could tell the other boy carried the body of an athlete under it. He noted the bow of his muscular legs hidden under his dark blue, ripped button fly [jeans](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/%24T2eC16dHJGwFFZ\(S+jDgBRY0ltTd+!~~_35.JPG). The bottom of the jeans were [pegged just above a pair of black, scuffed military issued combat boots](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0f/63/dc/0f63dc0505d6814e9956f5a0cd1a606d.jpg).  ‘ _Yes, definitely an athlete, yet not a jock_ ’ he thought as his eyes scanned back up the length of his legs. Heat began to rise up his neck and he rubbed the back of it as a distraction.

Dean was catching his own fair share of unseen glances. Castiel was smaller framed, and slightly shorter than him by a couple of inches. Dean could tell by how Castiel’s denium jacket hugged him that under it would be lean muscles and a toned chest. He was built like a runner, and Dean mused whether Castiel would want to try out for Track in the spring. Football had wrapped up and Dean was giving serious thought to joining Track just to have something to do. That’s all sports were to him, really. Something to keep his mind off everything else and to make his Dad proud. Castiel turned his back to him for a moment and Dean allowed his eyes to linger on the way Castiel’s dark stone washed jeans shaped his hips and ass. Dean’s eyes flickered quickly to the other boy's high-top black and white [converses](http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mvOzywCF--pK2iV-HUjlvMA.jpg) when the heat of arousal washed over him, the reaction instantly confusing him. This is what he felt when he looked at hot girls, not dudes. ' _What the fuck?_ ’

Dean jumped when he felt a firm hand slap on his shoulder solidly. He turned to see his dad’s concerned expression turned down at him. “You okay?” John asked.

Dean nodded, looking away quickly, and then back. “Yeah, sure Dad. I’m cool.” Dean looked over to Castiel who was looking at him with concern as well. Dean ran his hand through his hair, thankful that his dad's old jacket hung low enough he could hide the semi he had just gotten. Feeling exposed somehow, he looked away to follow behind his father to the car.

A few moments later they were back in the car and pulling out onto the road that led to their next destination. Minutes into the drive Dean turned, putting a long arm over the back of the seat as a rest. The expression he was giving Castiel, questioning. Dean licked his bottom lip as he had before and then clenched the bottom lip between his teeth for a second. It was Castiel’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

Finally Dean asked the question, “What does ‘ _béton brut_ ’ mean?”

Castiel wanted to laugh but only allowed a faint smile that barely moved his lips and crinkled the corners of his eyes. He didn’t want to make Dean feel foolish for having asked the question, or point out his less than accurate efforts to pronounce it correctly by doing so either. Though, Castiel wasn't at all sure why he cared about it so much. “It’s French. It means ‘ _raw concrete_ ’.”

“ _Dude_ , how do you even know that stuff?” Dean asked more amused than sarcastically.

Castiel shrugged with one shoulder and looked out the window. “I read a lot, and it helps that I lived in France for a year.” Castiel turned back to Dean, whose eyes were now wide. John looked over at Dean and smirked, shaking his head at his son’s reaction before returning his attention back to the road ahead.

Dean turned around and nothing more was said. John cranked up the CCR that was playing. Castiel smiled watching Dean’s head bob and sway to the music as he drummed out ‘ _[Up Around the Bend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp90FcEQvcA)_ ’. It appeared Dean loved music as much as he did, and they had more-or-less the same tastes from the looks of it. It caused Castiel to feel... _hopeful_. Dean continued to nod his head an air drum through the song changes with John tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel until they reached the school.

They passed a larger school which said ‘ _[North High School](http://indianapublicmedia.org/news/files/2009/12/columbus_north_high.jpg)_ ’ on the front. A few blocks behind it was _[Northside Middle](http://cdn1.columbus.in.us/galleries/northside/northside-school-1.jpg)_. The building was laid out very much like the elementary school had been except this one was made solidly out of brown brick which arched over the two story sets of windows. The windows surrounded three of the four sides, with the backside containing three levels of windows he noticed as they drove around to the front. As John pulled up to the main doors, Dean hopped out and stepped back allowing room for Castiel to follow suit.

Once Castiel was clear, Dean closed the door to the car. John leaned over to crank down the window, and Dean leaned in to the open window allowing this arms to cross and his elbows to rest on the door frame. Castiel remained standing off to the side on the sidewalk observing the bare maples and sycamores that marked the landscape of the area. While he was trying to pretend to give the father and son privacy, he could still hear John giving his son instructions.

“I’ll be at work today, but I should be done in time to pick you boys up. Now, you’re to call Missouri if there's an early discharge. She’ll pick you up in that case.”

Dean nodded, “Sure thing, Dad.”

John glanced back towards Castiel, then back to his son. His concern for the boy firmly fixed in his expression he added, “Make sure you tell Castiel he’s riding home with you, early discharge or not. Capiche?”

Castiel turned towards the car not sure what to make of the protectiveness he was sensing in Dean’s father.

“Yes sir.” Dean nodded, knowing it was an order rather than a suggestion to be made. Dean was not exactly sure why he felt relief at the prospect of the guy riding with them again, but it caused a small upward curl of his mouth to appear. Dean stood up and slapped a hand on the door frame twice as a gesture of goodbye without words to his dad. After rolling the window back up, John pulled out and away. The rumble of the engine could still be heard as they made their way to the [main doors](http://www.tonyvasquez.net/keyword/architecture/i-qMZG4Cr/A).

Making their way up the steps, they reached a small line of windows with a glass door on each end. Dean rushed to grab the handle to the one on the right and open it for Castiel who glanced at him for a brief moment in curiosity at the gesture before walking in without hesitating. Dean followed in behind him.

Castiel was taking in the surroundings when Dean tapped the backside of his fingers on Castiel’s arm as they walked to get his attention. “Hey, uh, do you have your sheet with all your classes on it?” Castiel eyed him questioningly before he reached around to his back pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “Yeah.”

Dean stopped walking and Castiel stilled with him. He reached out and took the paper from Castiel’s loose grip, unfolding it. He started scanning over it while his index finger traced over teachers, courses, times and room numbers. His expression remained neutral for a few moments, but then a smile lit up his face. He handed Castiel back his paper and informed excitedly, “Kick ass! We have four of the nine classes together. Lunch period too!”

Castiel looked back to his paper. He felt some measure of elation at the news that this wasn't the only time he would see Dean throughout the day. He also felt some measure of confusion. He never cared about sharing classes with someone he was aquainted with, so what was up now? He decided to let it go for now only because Dean looked so amped about it. It gave Castiel yet another possibly probmatic sensation that stirred warm within him, and the heat of it rose to the tips of his ears. He quickly looked down busying himself with studying the paper, but not really seeing it.

Dean tapped his arm again, “You've been in here before? Like, when you got registered?”

Castiel looked back up shaking his head. “No, my father’s assistant took care of it for me.”

Dean’s mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but then it closed. Instead, he simply nodded his head. He glanced down to his feet for a moment before facing Castiel again. Castiel’s brow tightened, only to relax when Dean’s possible shock turned into a smile.

“Well, all the classes we don’t have together are still on the same floors and shit so, I’ll just meet you. We can just walk together to your next one.”

Castiel refrained from informing Dean that the structure was simple enough he could figure out the room numbers rather easily on his own. Instead, he simply nodded his head in compliance.

Dean looked relieved. “Okay, sweet.” Dean said as he snagged a quick glance at his Swatch, “Listen, we’re a little early so we've gotta gather in the gym.”

Castiel nodded again, following beside him. The gym was noisy since it appeared the entire school had assembled there. Four sets of multi-leveled oak seated bleachers lined the right side. Dean turned to Castiel inclining his head towards the bleacher sets. “This side here's for 7th Grade. The others over there...” Dean pointed to the far right side, “…are for the 8th grade. That’s us.” Castiel had a hard time hearing him, but he got enough of it to get the gist and nodded.

“Dean! Dean! Dean fricken' Winchester! Over here, man!” a boy yelled from over the top of everyone else as they reached the far set of bleachers. Castiel looked up to find a boy waving his arm at the top. Dean shot his hand up in the sign of the horns indicating that he saw him which the other boy returned enthusiastically. That caused Castiel arch a brow in amusement. Dean didn't quite look like the metalhead type and now Castiel was even more intrigued. Dean suddenly grabbed Castiel’s jacket sleeve, tugging him in the direction of the boy who had been waving. Castiel took note of how everyone moved quickly allowing them space to climb. A couple of teens gave Dean high fives with ' _S'ups?_ ' and ' _Winchester_ ' as they passed. Castiel could easily see Dean was popular- at least on this side of the bleachers.

“Ash! Man.” Dean said smiling at the other teen and giving him a styled hand slap, finger snapping, grip of fingers which they then snapped as they separated the grip and ending with a [solid](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fist_bump).

Ash, who was wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd hoodie and hair styled in a mullet, looked up at Castiel with hooded eyes. The guy was clearly high as Zeus.

“New guy?” Ask asked, taking out the toothpick that had been protruding from his mouth which was smirking now.

Dean answered before Castiel could, “Yeah, hey- Ash, this is Castiel.”

Ash stuck out his hand and Castiel did the same shake, click, grip, snap, solid combo Ash and Dean had done before. Castiel found himself grateful for his photographic memory when Ash looked up at him, impressed.

"Hola amigo.”

Castiel answered, “Es un placer conocerte.”

Ash smiled and nodded. He was definitely impressed. “Yeah, you too man.” Ash moved over giving Dean and Castiel room. Dean removed his bomber jacket revealing a black [TesTamentT](http://hottopic.scene7.com/is/image/HotTopic/938660_hi?wid=1360) band tee shirt that the jacket had been hiding. Castiel arched a brow again. He hadn’t been expecting that either.

A few moments later, two girls who introduced themselves as Jo and Becky came up to sit next to them, and another boy named Garth joined them as well. All of them, easily accepting Castiel into their fold. It was a rag-tag group which had Castiel questioning just how cliques even worked in this school. Dean was clearly the somehow popular Metalhead. Ash, some hairdoged/hesher/stoner combo. Garth and Jo, like Castiel, appeared to be the metalhead/stoners. Becky stuck out the most in the group. She was a nerd, albeit a hyper super-social one who talked like she was from the Valley. As strange as their blurred line mix was, they all seemed to be at ease with one another. When they asked Castiel various questions it wasn’t just idle chatter; they really wanted to know about him. There was such a genuine interest that Castiel felt a little floored by it. After all, he was accustomed to being virtually invisible in most schools he went to despite who his family was.

When the first bell rang everyone began collecting their bags and standing up to make their way out of the gym. Once again, Dean grabbed Castiel’s jacket sleeve and pulled him along. Once they were out of the gym and in the hall, Dean asked Castiel for his paper again, which he produced for the other boy. After looking at it for a moment, Dean nodded his head, “Yeah okay, well. Your first class is English. Mine's Math. They‘re on the third but opposite halls. I’ll take you to yours and when class is over just wait for me.”

Castiel simply nodded as he followed.

 

 

~*~

 Dean sat through Math class barely paying attention as the teacher explained the ins and outs of what to expect after Christmas break. While _that_ wasn't anything new, where his thoughts were sure was. The reaction he had when they were in the car and then again while waiting on his dad at Sammy’s school which actually felt kinda good. Just like the reaction he got when he saw hot girls, but him to have felt it when looking at certain parts of Castiel? It was confusing as fuck, and it also gave him mixed feelings of shame, fear and want.

He used to watch the news with his dad and remembered when it seemed like everybody was flippin' out about AIDS. It was the first time he'd heard the word ‘ _homosexual_ ’ and it was made into a really big deal. From everything he'd gathered, not in a good way. From the ‘ _talk_ ’ his dad had given him when he'd asked, he learned the word meant guys getting it up for other guys. He thought it was weird, but that was all the effort he had put into it after. He wondered now if what he had felt meant he was like that. He was into chicks though, and this was the first time he had ever felt this way with a guy. Well, if you didn’t count the handful of times he caught his eyes lingering a little too long on a guy’s chest or hips or lips; but, he’d just chalked that up to curiosity, not actually wanting a guy in that way. Dean shivered internally as he picked apart every encounter he’d ever had with a guy which only caused the feelings of frustration and confusion to grow. He wished he knew what was going on. Why this one guy, _rather immediately_ , had his head spinning.

What he _did_ know? He wasn’t about to talk to anyone about it. He could always just avoid Castiel, but as much as he was confused, he really liked how being around the guy made him feel other things too.

Dean jumped when the bell rang, marking the end of class. All of the fucked up feelings retreated to be replaced with excitement of knowing the next class was one he shared with Castiel. He smiled to himself as he threw his unopened math book into his bag.

Castiel waited by the door he just exited and sighed. The day was already feeling longer than most. Usually about this time he would be ditching classes the rest of the day. It's not like he had to really study. Superoir intelligence ran in his family. Abstract concepts were easy to break down and a gift at memorization plus application was second nature. He shook his head, amused with himself as he spotted the reason for his change of heart coming his way. Dean completely dominated the hall. His books crooked in the palm of his hand and braced against his leg casually while his peers moved for him without even looking up. It made Castiel feel keenly aroused. He diverted his eyes quickly in an attempt to make it look like he was more interested in the cover of his book rather than the boy heading his way. Dean didn’t stop to say anything. Instead, he grabbed Castiel by the jacket sleeve and began pulling him along. Dean led the way down the hall to the stairway that led to the lower floors. “We’ve gotta be quick! Only have five minutes to get from here to clear on the other side of the building.” Dean told him in a rush.

Castiel felt the need to point out what he thought was the obvious, “I believe five minutes is enough time to get from here to there without jogging, Dean.”

The other boy laughed. “No, duh! I just want us to be able to get seats next to each other. Chuck doesn’t assign seats like the other teachers do. Big believer in the freedom of choice and all that crap.”

Castiel allowed himself to be practically dragged down the stairs and across the building. The whole journey his eyes lingered on Dean; studying him as they moved in between the people in the crowded hallway. The possessiveness Dean volunteered when it came to him both confused and delighted him. They had only met less than four hours ago, but Dean was acting like they had known each other for years. The way Dean felt comfortable touching him even more times than necessary was at odds with everything Castiel had come to know in relating to most people. The implications were making his stomach feel strange which wasn't entirely an unpleasant sensation. If anything, whatever the hell _this >/i> was; it was becoming addictive. A neon ‘ _danger_ ’ sign started flashing in Castiel’s minds-eye, but like a fool glutton for punishment, he ignored it._

Fortunately, they were among the first in the classroom. Dean tugged Castiel towards the back corner of the class next to the line of windows.

Dean didn’t quite understand the drive to hoard Castiel into the privacy of the back, but he refused to question it either. At this point, he was just winging it. He didn’t want to think on everything he was feeling since Castiel climbed into his dad’s car because trying to break it down into smaller things he could wrap his head around just made him feel _wrong_. Like he shouldn't be so okay, and he didn’t want to feel that. He wanted to feel the exact opposite. All that he was feeling was hitting him naturally, and it made him feel pretty damn good. So, he was going to just go with that. Shit. It wasn’t like he didn’t ignore the angel on his shoulder and break the _rules_ every single day as it was. The problem fell on gauging what this was and was it sick kind of wrong? What did it mean and _why_ he was feeling this way in the first place? Most importantly, was Cas feeling this shit too?

Castiel took off his jean jacket for the first time and slung it over the back of his chair before sliding into his desk. Dean watched him, swallowing nervously before sliding into his own desk quickly. Dean definitely preferred Castiel without his jacket on. Arousal started to rear up again and Dean’s face flushed red. He turned quickly to look out the window while he willed away the heat. Getting a hard on in class just wasn't an option.

After a few moments Dean turned back to Castiel, “A Dead Head huh?”

Castiel’s brow tightened, “A what?”

Dean lifted his chin towards Castiel, “Your shirt.”

Castiel glanced down to the design taking up nearly the whole front of his grey tee shirt; a large skull with two sides in different colors, red and blue. A white lightning bolt separating the two halves. He smiled faintly looking back up to meet Dean's eyes. “Yeah.”

“Awesome.” Dean replied appreciatively. “We’re going to get along _just_ fine.” Dean added with a wide and on the edge of flirting smirk.

The look Castiel gave him was one of relief and shyness which was totally out of character for Castiel. If there was one thing he was _not _, it was shy. But here was this boy in a TesTamenT tee-shirt, with a smile that lit up the room, and eyes a shade of green that did things to his insides. Again the danger signal flashed, but Castiel’s weakness had always been in staring danger in the face rather than running. Castiel looked down to his desk as the effect of Dean's expression he was sending in his direction, washed over him__

Dean could see pink rising in Castiel’s neck and cheeks as it had with himself earlier. There was something comforting in the sight of it. Maybe, just _maybe_ , he wasn’t alone in the weird way he was feeling. The effects sure looked similar, that was for sure. The hum of uncertainty Dean was feeling completely bolted at the thought of that possibility. Dean couldn’t help but offer a wink when Castiel looked back up at him. It got the reaction Dean was going for as Castiel’s face flushed crimson over the pink.

Castiel smiled despite the foreignness of everything he was experiencing. The wink Dean had just offered had given him fucking butterflies of all damn things. The feeling was short lived when another more repetitive thought came rolling in. ‘ _This is not going to last._ ’ Truth was, Castiel had always been a loner and learned early on that getting accustomed to the company of others made it harder when he had to skip town or even the country for that matter. He knew he shouldn’t be getting accustomed to Dean’s attention and friendship even more so. The ‘ _fuck it anyway_ ’ he’d just said to himself though, was a sign it was already too late for self-preservation anyway.

The classroom was starting to fill up and the noise level had increased quite a bit. Ash and Jo filed in just before the last bell and they grabbed the two spare seats in the back. Jo sat next to Castiel with a smile she sent just to him alone before digging out her notebook and pen from her bag. Dean frowned seeing it, and it only deepened when Castiel gave her one back that was on the side of ' _come and get it_ '. Dean knew Jo's ' _you're hot, let's make out_ ' look- intimately too. She must have felt the heat from the evil-eye he was giving her because she glance over at him and with a knitted brow mouthed a silent ' _what?_ '. Ash took the seat in front of Dean, pulling his attention from her. When he slid behind the desk he shot a fist up into the air Bruce Springsteen style to silently celebrate his arrival. Castiel chuckled shaking his head, and proceeded to get his notebook out.

Mr. Shurley entered the classroom behind the last few students to arrive and walked behind his desk while pushing up his glasses. The class quieted quickly as students took their seats.

Mr. Shurley was a short man wearing a long sleeved white button down dress shirt tucked into his skinny jeans. His hair was in unruly curls, and the dark circles under his eyes gave the impression of someone who didn’t sleep much. Despite appearances though, he moved energetically wearing a pleasant smile. Castiel got the feeling he was really going to like this particular teacher.

“All right guys. First, we uh, have a new student. To save him the embarrassment of having to stand up to recite his name in front of all of you, I’ll do it for him.” Mr. Shurley said as he came around his desk and leaned, half sitting on it. He gestured his hand in Castiel’s direction which all the other students followed the direction of as they turned to look at him. “Castiel James Novak. He heralds from New York, is a straight A plus, _plus_ student _and_ appears to have excellent tastes in music.” Mr. Shurley gestured with a point towards Castiel’s shirt with his index finger.

Some of his classmates giggled which had Castiel slumping a little behind his desk grinning like a dimwit under the weight of their attention. There had never been that many eyes on just him at once. Mr. Shurley just smiled wider and added, “Welcome, Castiel, to my humble abode. People of the Kingdom, what do we say?”

Everyone responded at once, “Welcome, Castiel!” Their tone wasn’t at all lifeless, but instead enthusiastic. Castiel wondered if this was just the affect Mr. Shurley had over the class or was this the disposition of the people in this town, in general.

Mr. Shurley pushed his glasses up again as he added, “Please, Castiel…call me Chuck. I prefer hearing that over ‘ _Mr._ ’ and please don't call me ‘ _Shurley_ ’. Seeing the kids didn't catch on to that joke he continued, "I keep meaning to change my name all together to Carver Edlund.” Chuck was now looking up to the ceiling, thinking to himself like there was no one else in the room. A moment later he brought his attention back to his class. In a lower voice as he spoke more to himself, “Write some books... anyway.” Chuck shook his head, rattling himself from where ever he had drifted off to and grabbed a stack of papers off his desk. He stood and made his way to the chalkboard behind his desk. He picked up a piece of chalk and began writing quickly as it made taps, scratches and small squeaks. “I know we have Christmas break coming so I’m going to go ahead and assign this now so you're aware.” He put the chalk down after writing ‘ _The works of Kahlil Gibran_ ’.

He looked over the class and addressed them, “ _The Prophet_ and _The Madman_. Now, _The Madman_ is way too long for us to study in its entirety, so we are uh, just going to focus on the portions ‘ _The Greater Sea_ ’ and ‘ _Faces_ ’.” Chuck licked his index finger to get a better grip when he separated the papers in his hand. He handed small stacks to the students in the first row of desks. “Now pass these back.” As the papers made their way to each student Chuck went to his desk, picked up some books, and began passing them out two per desk.

Castiel scanned over the paper. Typed out on it was a repeat of what Chuck had said and what he was expecting them to focus on while reading the material. The books placed on his desk were _The Prophet_ and _The Madman_ and Castiel smiled as he held them. He knew these works like the back of his hand which was usually the case with any work brought up in Language Arts everywhere he went. He had already read the works and thoroughly understood the subject matter. He glanced over to Dean who was looking at the books in his hands like they had grown legs. As if Dean could feel Castiel looking at him, he met Castiel’s eyes briefly before Dean sighed and put the books down. It was obvious Dean was not at all excited about the prospect of having to read, as his expressions turned from blank to insecure. Dean turned his eyes from him then to stare out the window.

Chuck returned to the front of the class and continued, “What I want you to do is take these books home and at least look over them. On the back of the paper I had you pass back, there’s questions. Not about what you’re reading really, it’s more about how you’re _interpreting_ what you’re reading. While it’s not mandatory you do the worksheet, those who brave the task will not only receive my undying respect and permission to use my name as a reference on your application to work at the local burger shack come Summer, but this could save your hide should you fail the exam. Earn an A or B on this," Chuck held up the paper, “and even if you fail the exam, you just might pass this class." He put the paper down and continued, “We'll begin reading in the class until break and then we will begin again when we start back. We'll discuss the author and the main idea of his work as outlined on the paper I handed out. Don’t lose the outlines and ‘ _My dog ate it_ ’ will be met with the fullness of my wrath which, at best, will come in the form of a big fat F. Capiche?” He looked around the class over the rim of his glasses that had slipped again and was met with groans.

“Good. I’m glad we're understand each other.” he pushed his glasses back up. “Ultimately, my goal is to have each of you write an essay on a portion of these works at the end of the school year. Just pick a portion that speaks to you on a personal level, outline and go with it. Everything I’m doing has a purpose, I promise you, and if you put your full effort into this work, that essay at the end of the year will be like a walk through the Garden of Eden.”

More groaning and a few ' _lame’_ s sounded around the room and Chuck replied with a chuckle, “What? You actually thought you'd get out of working your tuckus off this year? Come on. We're at the half-way mark guys. I went easy on you the first half, but now we have to get down to business. Not to mention, if I don’t have anything to show for being here I can’t get paid. Not that I get paid all that much in the first place.” The last sentence Chuck mumbled out as if he was talking more to himself again rather than the class, his eyes to the ceiling once more. He seemed to perk back up in a snap when his eyes came back down to meet his students. “All right! Let’s start. Please, open _The Prophet_ and we will take turns reading sections. Tara, you start until I say stop and we will move on down until each one of you have had a turn.” Chuck said to the girl in the front seat near the windows. “Begin.”

The class was over far too soon and at the end of it an announcement came over the intercom that there would be an early release from school after all. The class cheered and everyone started filing out of the class quicker than they probably would have if they were just leaving for another class. Dean stood up and said his goodbyes to Ash. He gave Jo more of the evil eye, but said his goodbyes with his usual nonchalant tone. She still flipped him off before turning harshly, her long hair nearly whipping him in the face. He turned to Castiel who waited patiently with a questioning expression having seen Jo's response to Dean that seemed to come out of left field.

Dean looked nervous all the sudden. He cleared his throat and his voice wavered slightly, “My Dad said you’re to catch a ride from us.”

“Yeah, I heard. That is fine. I hate riding the bus anyway.” Castiel answered. He wondered if Dean was expecting him to deny the offer because the tension Dean was under visibly relaxed.

“I gotta go to the office and call Missouri. She’s a friend of my dad’s. She picks us up from school when one of us gets sick or is needing a ride and Dad can’t make it. She’s cool.” Dean said shoving the paper and books into his bag. He slung the bag over his shoulder and suddenly appeared apprehensive again as he added, “You could come to our house 'til Dad gets home. I mean, if your folks are okay with it.” Dean’s cheeks started to turn pink again, “I mean, if you wanna. Whatever.” he shrugged trying hard to play it cool like was was okay either way it went even on the inside he was begging with repetitive ' _please say yes man_.'

Castiel threw his own bag over his shoulder and answered, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I would like that.” He didn’t add that not only would he like to, but he wouldn’t be missed at home by anyone who would disapprove anyway.

Dean relaxed again and nodded with a tension releasing sigh. Castiel added, “Though I do need to call and make sure Gabriel and Anna know where I am when I arrive at your place.”

Dean noticed Castiel left out his parents and even his brother Michael from the list of people to call but didn’t ask. Whatever. He was just stoked to be getting more time with the guy. He suddenly felt like he had won some kind of prize.

"Sweet man. Al'right." replied almost too eagerly.

 

~*~

 Missouri pulled up, waving Dean and Castiel towards the car. Sam was already in the front seat, so they rushed through the freezing rain and climbed haphazardly into the backseat together.

“You boys good to go?” Missouri asked them without turning around.

“Yes ma'am.” Dean replied, his teeth chattering and hair dripping wet. Castiel had fared better since he had a hood on his jacket which he pulled from his head leaving his hair all kinds of messed up. He didn't bother to fix it either, and it had Dean stifling a wolf whistle he was a fraction of a second from making.

Missouri turned her whole body half way in her seat so she could face them both. Whatever it was she was going to say was forgotten. Her eyes widened for a moment and her ebony brow tensed. Castiel simply stared back at her wondering if he had done something wrong. Missouri’s gaze passed between Dean and Castiel a few times before her brow got impossibly more pinched. Dean was about to ask her what was wrong, but her face relaxed suddenly like someone had flipped a switch and her lips curled into an affectionate smile. Her eyes came to rest on Castiel, “You’re in good hands sugar. Don’tchu worry.” she said to him and her expression turned weighted as she glance once again between Dean and Castiel. Finally she said, “Buckle up you two.” She turned around and pulled the car out and onto the street.

Castiel looked to Dean who simply shrugged at him. He swiped a hand over his brow before running it through his hair to chase away the rain droplets that were still dripping and running down his face. It appeared Dean was clueless to what Missouri had been saying to him, but Castiel had the oddest sensation the woman knew something about him or even his family; like a secreted away truth he didn’t know himself, but she could read like it was written on his skin. It made him shiver involuntarily. It hadn’t passed his notice the way she had looked from Dean to him either. If he didn’t know better, he would think she could see what was going on between them at just a glance. ' _But that’s impossible_ ’

The rest of the ride Sam chatted about school, his friends, and about the rescheduling of his field trip. Dean teased him a number of times to which Missouri had to tell Dean to stop being a bully. When that didn't detour him, she tried to get in a few swats at his legs from the front seat which never reached him entirely, causing them all to laugh and Missouri throwing out the promise, "You know you got to get out of the car sometime." Castiel didn’t speak much, but he enjoyed the bickering back and forth as well as the simple conversations. Several minutes later they turned into a long drive leading off of the main road. The drive was small and there was only enough room for one car. To the right were woods and to the left was a corn field, brown and dried by the winter frost. As they rounded the turn, a two story farm house came into view. Castiel could tell it was very old and from the looks of it, it had been renovated at some point with special attention paid to keeping the white washed panel siding and everything else about the structure in tune with its age. The car rolled to a stop in between the house and a long row of what appeared to be interconnecting garages with a long gambrel roofed barn at the farthest end.

They exited the car and everyone made their way to the porch. Dean opened the screen door and proceeded to unlock the door. Once the lock clicked he turned the knob and pushed the door open. Castiel followed in behind everyone and found himself standing in a small kitchen. Looking to his left just inside the door, he saw two large brown buckets on a shelf with a ladle floating on top of water. Sam took a hold of the handle and scooping up some of the water, sipped from the cup of the ladle and then put it back into the bucket. Sam noticed Castiel watching him.

“Dad's working on the plumbing in his spare time. We have bathrooms but that is about the all of plumbing right now. This house is from like the early 1800s and was in bad shape before Dad practically rebuilt it.” Sam said looking around, “This place didn’t even have electricity when first bought it, but he is good with stuff like that.” Sam finished proudly.

“I love it.” Castiel said honestly and secretly hoped Detective Winchester chose not to change too much about the house. Even the scent of the home was accented by age and it was oddly comforting.

Sam’s smile broadened, “Yeah, it’s pretty gnarly. I’m gonna put my bag up.” Sam turned and made his way up the narrow staircase leading to the second floor. Castiel walked further into the kitchen and turned to his left. Dean was standing just inside the entryway to the dining room staring at Castiel and he stared back. Something silent and invisible passed between them and for the second time that day Dean felt goose-bumps rise under the weight of Castiel’s gaze. A gaze that broke when Missouri came from behind Dean and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Hey!” He exclaimed and rubbed where his head had been offended by her hand.

“Stop staring at your company, boy. It’s rude.” she said as she made her way further into the kitchen and started rummaging in the fridge. “I’m going to get supper started. How about you give Castiel a tour so he can make himself at home? Hmm?” Missouri suggested as she took some things out of the fridge and put them on the counter. She didn’t look at either of them again as she got work, humming a tune as she did.

Dean’s face was red. He knew it, but he motioned with the lean of his head for Castiel to come towards him and Castiel accented. Once he was beside Dean, Dean offered with the roll of his eyes, “This, of course, is the dining room. Over here is the living room.” From the direction of the kitchen Missouri called out, "Don't you roll your eyes at me." While Castiel shot an astonished glance towards the kitchen, Dean simply turned to his left and continued walking. Castiel explained it away as Missouri knowing Dean well enough to predict his next move at being chastised. They entered a spacious room that contained a large fireplace and a large window that covered the expanse of the whole wall, from floor to ceiling. Castiel could imagine what bright the room would be on sunny day as the rays lit the walls painted in a soft shade of peach. A sparsely decorated Christmas tree was in front of it and the only furniture in the room was a long couch that lined one wall and a recliner that sat in front of a small TV with antennas on the top wrapped in tin foil. To the right was another entry way which Dean motioned in the direction of with his hand.

“That’s the way to my dad’s room and the back door. Come on.” Dean started to head back towards the kitchen. Missouri was already stirring something in a large pot on the stove as cubes of meat sizzled in a frying pan. She still took no notice of them as they began to ascend the stairs.

Castiel loved the creaking and moans of the steps beneath his feet as they moved up the narrow staircase. It was blanketed in darkness and as they got to the top, a small window allowed enough light for Castiel to observe his surroundings. To his left was a loft like area where there was another long couch in front of a small TV. On the floor in front of it sat both an Atari and a Nintendo. To his right were two bedrooms which had to be Sam and Dean’s.

“That’s Sammy’s room.” Dean motioned with his hand to the closed door on the left. He could see the movement of Sam behind the door from the shadows his coming and going made in the gap between the scuffed wood flooring and door. “And this one’s mine.” Dean continued as he walked towards the closed door on the right and opened it to reveal a very bright and airy room which was not at all what Castiel had expected considering the darkness of the rest of the upstairs.

The walls of Dean’s room held aged wallpaper but nothing else. No pictures or posters, just faded flower print stained in tobacco smoke and time. A simple dresser lined the left side wall with a lamp and a picture in a simple wooden frame on top. A full sized bed rested close to a large window which allowed for an abundance of light even with the almost dreary weather conditions outside. Dean threw his bag into a corner of the room and plopped himself down on the edge of the bed which bounced and squeaked.

Castiel laid his own bag down on the floor next to the dresser more carefully than Dean had his own bag, as the strap slid down his arm. His eyes pulled to the picture on its top is a simple cherry stained oak frame. The word ' _family_ ' in silver plating decorated the bottom half. He picked it up realizing it was a family portrait. Dean, a young boy leaning back against his father, a wide smile and flushed cheeks like his father had been tickling his ribs just moments before the camera clicked. Baby Sam in the arms of whom Castiel assumed was their mother, fingers in his mouth with a blank expression given to the camera which likely had no one behind it to encourage him to smile. A solitary family moment caught and cherished. Mother and father completed the bond with arms around their children and each other. Castiel felt drawn to the woman’s face where kindness and strength radiated behind her eyes. Her smile, warm and nurturing, wrenched at something within Castiel’s own heart- something he forgot he had ever craved.

“She’s beautiful.” The words were out of his mouth before he knew he had said them, his fingers touching the glass and sliding down the length of her hair as he thought on his own mother. Something he hadn't done in years.

“She was.” Dean said solemnly and Castiel turned to him then. Dean’s countenance had fallen, and something flickered in his expression, but it was gone before Castiel had time to define it.

“She died when I was four. House fire. Police called it an _accident_.” Dean said in a flood of words letting the word ‘ _accident_ ’ trail off like some open ending to a film. The weight of it seemed to push down around them somehow. Dean turned his head to look out the window and wondered why he was even saying these things to Castiel when it took a hell of a lot longer to share this information with anyone else.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel responded sincerely, replacing the picture back where it had been with a reverence he felt was owed. He wondered if this was the only picture of his mother Dean had. There wasn't many pictures of his own mother left. His father had thrown most of them out in a fit of rage one day. He remembered digging the picture of his own mother out of the trash after this father had passed out from downing several a dozen shots of vodka. He had tucked it away in a shoebox and shoved the box to the very back of his closet back at the family's estate in New York where it still sat collected layers of dust. “My mother abandoned us when I was little. I barely remember her.” he offered and turned to Dean.

“I’m sorry too man.” Dean replied turning back to Castiel. They were staring at each other again, but Sam was the one who broke it this time as he came barreling into the room.

“Hey! Wanna see something cool?” he asked excited and hopeful.

Sam really did remind Castiel of a puppy. He could practically see an incorporeal tail wagging with the way his bright eyes were beaming and his smile wide. Castiel nodded with a smile and began to follow behind Sam who was already halfway down the stairs. Dean groaned as they made their way down, seemingly having knowledge of where Sam was leading him. The scents of the stew steaming on the stove top was growing stronger and Castiel’s stomach growled as they made their way out of the side door off from the dining room.

They walked out and into a wall of chilled air. The sound of the screen door slamming shut of its own accord behind Dean. They turned right and for the first time Castiel noticed the dried up stalks sticking out above once freshly tilled soil which was now harden by winter's frost. The vegetable garden covered close to an acre of land and looked like it had yield an impressive amount of tomatoes, beans and cabbage a few months before. Just past it were cages surrounded by chicken wire with bits of straw poking out between the hexagonal openings. He caught sight of movement in one of the cages and as they got closer, Castiel could see the cages housed rabbits. Once they reached the rows of cages, Sam freed the latch of one, opened the top and reached in. He pulled out a fluffy black and white speckled rabbit by the back of its neck.

“You have to be careful getting them out. They do have sharp claws, especially watch their back legs 'cause they can kick those for extra damage.” Sam informed as he cradled it in his arms, letting go of the hold he had on its neck.

The rabbit sniffed the air and then Sam’s hand. The smile on Sam’s face was infectious. “These were left here by the previous owners. Dad said they came with the house, but I think he bought them to keep them from being eaten.” Sam added on with a frown, but then his face lit up again. “Here!” He handed the rabbit out to Castiel.

At first Castiel just looked at the little ball of fur and frowned. He had never held a rabbit before so the prospect of holding one now was a little intimidating. Sam seemed to notice. “They don't bite. Well, Peter doesn’t. Here!” and Sam practically shoved the rabbit into Castiel’s arms.

Castiel fumbled with the rabbit in his hands a little before he finally got a handle on it and was surprised at how soft it was. A moment later he relaxed into a smile and began playing with the rabbit’s ears. Sam seeing Castiel warming up to Peter so quickly had him smiling even wider. “See! Told ya!”

Castiel chuckled. “I’ve never held one of these before.”

Dean reached out and petted Peter’s back. A soft smile on his lips as he spoke. “I’m glad Dad let us keep them and _not_ for food.”

Castiel was aware he was staring at Dean again but there was something about him. A pull that nagged at him and it was confusing. Castiel’s smile faded a tad as he tore his eyes away to look back down at Peter and continued playing with his ears while he watched Dean’s hand continue to rub over and through the animals fur. Something about the movements of Dean’s hands caused heat to rise and suddenly Castiel felt an urge to touch the other boy’s hand. He cleared his throat and he gave the bunny back to Sam who placed it back into its cage. It hopped on the straw and started nibbling on its food pellets. The boy then flipped a switch and a series of heat lamps turned on.

Missouri stuck her head out the side door. “Sam? Honey, time to come on in and wash up!” Sam groaned but complied by running towards the house. Dean stood in place so Castiel did as well. After Sam closed the door behind him, Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest and inclined his head in the direction of the garden just before turning to walk that way. Castiel followed him as they passed the garden and made their way to a higher hill on top where chestnut trees stood. In the arm of one of the chestnut tree's thicker limbs hung a swing big enough for two people to sit. Dean took a seat and after a moment of hesitation, Castiel did as well..

The sun was beginning to peek through the grey clouds lighting the hillside and as Castiel followed the hill’s slope down and away with his eyes, he could see a road with cars passing in the distance. Dean was looking out and into the sun. Squinting, he took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. His arms were still crossed in front of him which Castiel took as a defensive posture though he wasn't sure yet what Dean was taking a defense against. Castiel waited patiently and took to observing the sun, defiant against the winter clouds. Its light abated the cold chill that was still present especially when the wind blew.

With a natural accord, they worked together taking turns with their feet to push the swing in comfortable silence. There was something harmonious about moving the swing together. The rhythm of who pushed and who pulled intuitively in sync, an unspoken harmony that persisted for a long period of time until Dean broke the silence. He looked to Castiel who returned his gaze.

“We were born in Lawrence, Kansas. A-after our mom died, it was tough.” Tears began to well and sting Dean’s eyes at that admission and he blinked hoping the other boy would think the sun had caused it. “We moved from place to place. Dad, he was gone a lot. Sam and I were sent to live with our godfather, Bobby for a few years.” Dean blinked the tears back again, trying to dry them before they spilled over. “That is, 'til he and Dad had a falling out over Dad needing to be around more. He chased Dad off his porch with a shotgun he was so pissed. Told him not to come back 'til he sobered up and got his head screwed on straight.” Dean smiled a little at the memory of that and continued, “They're cool now and I think it woke Dad up. He decided to become a cop to feel like he was doing something, helping others and do right by me and Sammy like Mom would've wanted him too, I guess. Dad got promoted and we moved here a few years ago.”

Castiel nodded and instead of asking the many questions Dean’s tale had brought up, he told his own story of absent mothers and neglecting fathers. “I’m originally from New York. My mother ditched us when I was seven.” Castiel swallowed hard, his hands clutching harder at the small space of wood between him and Dean. “There’s no trace of her now. No one knows what caused her to all of the sudden to just up and leave us or even where she went in the end. Last place investigators Father hired were able to track her to was Russia, supposedly.”

Dean’s arms relaxed, un-curling themselves from around his chest to rest on his lap. His eyes squinted a little as his gaze turned to the ground for a moment before turning back to Castiel who was looking at him now. Dean leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “You said you lived in France?” He asked curiously while trying to lift some of the weight from the air around them by changing the direction the mutual sharing was going. It didn't quite work and he wondered how long the other boy had been bottling stuff up.

Castiel nodded. “Yes. France, Italy, Australia, even Ireland for a time. My father-.” Castiel trailed off as if trying to find the right words. “My father would never speak of our mother and instead chose to bury himself deeper into his work after he called off the search for her. He moved us around as he pleased. I haven't seen my father’s face in four years. I haven’t heard his voice in nearly a year. It’s just mostly Gabriel, Anna, and me.” Castiel frowned and continued, “And Michael from time to time when he’s not seeing to business affairs for Father.” Castiel’s jaw clenched and released.

Dean couldn't really believe what he was hearing and his heart went out to the other boy. The first few years in which their dad had been gone was bad enough even though they still saw him every few weeks during that time. Dean’s brow tightened and the words came out without thought, “That has to be tough.”

Castiel looked down at his hand which still rested between him and Dean. “Yeah. Well, no greater cross to bear than your own.” Castiel shrugged and added, “But I can't focus on what can’t be changed. I’ve spent too much time being sad- angry. Now I’m just... _comfortably numb_.”

Really, that was more or less true. When his mom had first taken off, he had cried out for her almost ceaselessly. He and his mother had been inseparable, him clinging to her and she doted on him ceaselessly. It had worried Gabriel and Anna both while his father would hide away, offering no comfort or reassurance that he was at least there. As much as his siblings tried to make up for the mother he yearned for, it was never enough. It took two years for him to stop missing her, and two more to stop hoping to ever see her again. Everyone assumed he had finally got right with everything when he was really just tired of everyone looking on him with pity. The one thing he couldn't seem to pack away so easily was blaming himself for her leaving him. It didn't matter he had nothing that he did to pin it on.

Dean smiled weakly at the Pink Floyd drop and nodded. At least Castiel appeared to have gotten to a place that utterly eluded Dean. Without thinking through his actions, he allowed his hand to slide off his lap to rest on Castiel’s which sat between them. There was a jolt at the connection that spread warmth through them both as their heartbeats quickened. Dean looked into Castiel’s wide, unsure eyes- worried he might have gone a little too far in trying to comfort the other guy. He began to pull his hand away when Castiel turned his hand up under Dean’s, his fingers gripping around his before it could abandon its position. Castiel smiled shyly at Dean which was returned without any apprehension. Neither of them quite understood the feelings stirring within them or the physical reactions they were generating under shared gazes and now touches. It was terrifying and exciting, yes- but it was also familiar and profound.

“Dean!” Missouri called out from the third door of the house which obviously located off of Dean’s father’s bedroom. “Your daddy will be home in an hour. Best get washed up!”

Dean sighed and called back, “Al'right! Be there in a sec!”

Missouri looked at them for a moment more and then closed the door. Dean slipped his hand from out of Castiel’s now loosened grip but continued to gaze on Castiel. Dean wanted to reach out and touch the other boy’s face as a parting comfort but instead, he got up from the swing while sighing.

“You still need to use the phone?” Dean asked.

Castiel realized he had totally forgotten to call his brother and sister. “Yes. I guess I had better.”

Dean nodded and began walking to the house as Castiel fell into step beside him. Up above, the clouds folded over the sun once again like curtains drawing to a close.

 

~*~

 John arrived home in a little less time than Missouri predicted. When he entered he went immediately to the pot of stew that was almost ready on the stove. The aroma was filling the house now which caused more stomach growling from all present. Missouri whacked John’s hand with a wooden spoon playfully and John snapped it back from the pot.

“John Winchester! You’re as bad as your boys. Wash up!”

John laughed and gave her a tight side hug before affectionately planting a kiss on her temple. “Yes, ma’am.” As he was leaving, Missouri reached out and grabbed his wrist firmly. John turned to her, his expression reflecting the concern he found in her own.

“What is it?” He asked her lowly.

Missouri pulled him further towards the front door and she responded in a hushed voice. “The boy-" She paused to take a look around him to make sure none of the boys were lurking around the corner. Satisfied, she looked back to him shaking her head back and forth slowly.

“There’s darkness all around that boy, John." Her voice wavering at the end.

John knew how gifted Missouri was. She had successfully solved several cold cases over the years before he had come to work with the Bartholomew Police. He remembered the first time he ever met her. She knew everything about him and his wife and he had been floored by everything she had told him- even the details that she had no way of knowing. He used to not believe in psychics or the supernatural until he met her. They became fast friends and she grew attached to his boys. He trusted their lives to her without question.

It was based on some of her information that he started to suspect his wife's death was no _accident_ and that his young son had been telling the truth about that night all along, as improbable as it had sounded and despite the evidence. Unfortunately, Missouri was amazing, but even she couldn't see everything.

It was with the full knowledge of how powerful her abilities were that he asked, “Missouri, I kinda need more to go on. What darkness?”

She wrung her hands around the wooden spoon she still held and John put his hand on her shoulder letting her know he was listening. She stilled, looking up into his eyes and her brow knitted together. “Castiel is a good boy- a sweetheart really. He adores Sam and there’s this _powerful_ bond between him and Dean that’s forging.” Missouri left out describing the energy that surged between Dean and Castiel- a rare and powerful energy. There was something else there as well, but thinking on it too much felt like an intrusion so she pushed it away and repeated, “He’s a good boy, but-” She paused and John fought the urge to shake her because he was growing more concerned. His heart dropped when she went wide eyed and then said her next words, “The darkness that surrounds him. Oh John, sugar. It’s the same darkness I saw shrouding over your wife. I- I don’t know what it _means_.” She took a deep breath and shook her head as if she was needing to remove the same darkness she referred to from blanketing her own mind.

John let go of her shoulder and nodded. He felt like he had been slammed by something hard and cold in the center of his chest. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.” was his response which was thick with emotion. He started to walk away when she grabbed his wrist again, “I don’t know what it _means_ John. It could mean nothing, but well- I would be a horrible friend if I kept it from you. I fear for that young man in there. That darkness is violence, lies and death.”

John took a deep breath and looked at her again,” You think he's in immediate danger?”

Missouri shook her head, “No. Not right now.”

John looked relieved and nodded as he said, “I know I’m not psychic but, seein’ him walking alone this morning- something just wasn’t right. I checked into my resources for any information they had about his family and really there wasn’t much. His mother was reported missing several years ago. All evidence pointing to abandonment rather than foul play.” John had also found the Novak family were heavy hitters that owned one of the largest oil companies in the world, Empyrean. They were self-made billionaires twice over and had their clutches in influential political circles all over the world. The question that troubled him was- _why were they in his small town?_ He knew Missouri was reading his thoughts so there was no need for him to explain anything else he had found. Instead he added, “I’m going to keep diggin’, but I don’t think I’m going to find much more.”

After all, families like the Novaks make it damn near impossible to know the dirty details no matter how much you shovel out the dirt.

He noticed the chastising look on Missouri’s face and John automatically began defending himself, “Now listen, I’ll watch after the boy, but I promise I’m not gonna obsess over what you told me. I won’t do that to my boys again.”

He knew why she gave him that look. He had a long running history of neglecting his sons when new information would come to his attention about his wife’s death. He and his boy’s godfather had gotten into it over that very thing, and it had strained their relationship almost beyond repair. Which reminded him, he needed to put in a call to Bobby and Jody soon considering it had been a few months since they’d last talked. Bobby and Jody loved the boys and John was pretty sure boys were the main reason Bobby still spoke to him at all.

Missouri smiled, satisfied with his answer. She patted his hand, and he gave her one of his own reassuring smile before turning to go see his boys.

“You do need to call Bobby, sugar.” she called after him and clucked her tongue as she went to set the table. ‘ _I will_.’ was John’s mental response.

He entered the living room where the boys were sitting contently watching the TV set. Star Wars was playing in the VHS player yet again. Dean was on the couch with Castiel and Sam was in the recliner in front of the TV. John walked over to Sam and rubbed his head, making the boy shoot his hands up to correct the damage John was doing. “Dad! Not cool. Stop!” John chuckled and took a seat on the arm of the recliner facing towards Dean and Castiel.

‘ _There’s a powerful bond between him and Dean_.’

John could almost see it now, too. “Castiel, how do you feel about staying to eat and then I’ll drive you home? Your parents be okay with that, you think?” John asked. Even though he knew about Castiel’s absent mother and that his father was on the East Coast, he wasn't about to let on he had been digging. Castiel was looking at John and at the suggestion, the boy’s lips curved into a smile. John noted the hopeful expression that his oldest was adorning as well.

“There’s no one home but my brother and sister at the moment Mr. Winchester. They were fine with me being here so long as I’m not here too late.” Castiel answered. Truth was, neither Gabriel nor Anna cared how late he stayed anywhere, but he knew the man would question not having a curfew.

“Good, good.” John smiled. He rubbed Sam’s head one more time before leaving to get a shower before Missouri came in there to hound him.

 

~*~

Everyone including Missouri sat down to supper a little while later. It was quiet except for the clanking and scraping of spoons in bowls and hushed requests for the passing of rolls.

When they were close to the end of the meal John finally spoke, “So, how's school?”

Sam answered first, “It was fine except no museum. We’ll go after Christmas break though.”

John nodded, “Good, Sammy.”

“Chuck already has an assignment for us to go over during the break.” Dean offered with a frown. “Who gives you work to do on your vacation? It’s not normal.”

“Reading or actual work?” John asked as he took another bite from his roll.

“Reading and a worksheet.” Dean answered.

“So, not much work.” John corrected.

“Reading _is_ work, Dad!” Dean retorted.

“Then why do people do it to relax, Dean?” John reasoned to which Dean groaned knowing he had been bested.

“We could read it together.” Castiel offered.

Dean turned to him as he added, “That’s if your family won’t be doing anything during the break.”

Dean’s expression brightened. “You’d do that?”

Castiel shrugged. “Sure. I know Kahlil Gibran very well. One of my favorite poets.”

 " _The Prophet_ , am I right?” John asked.

“Yes. You know it?” Castiel asked truly interested.

John frowned slightly. “Well, just the portion on lovers. It was my wife’s favorite part.” A faraway look took over John as he began to recite the portion he remembered well. It was a verse she had recited when they had taken their vows. It had taken on a greater meaning after she passed away because he knew what it meant to love with everything you had in you, then to have it taken away. If he had known Mary would be taken away from him and he would experience this searing pain in the depths of him that never went away, he would have loved her just as intense and just as free. No regrets. “ _When love beckons to you follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you_.”

The last part John ended with a sad smile with the beginnings of tears clearly present. Missouri put her hand on his and Sam jumped out of his chair and put his arms around his father. John allowed his hand that Missouri was holding to remain and he brought up his free hand to hold onto Sam’s arms that were wrapped around his chest from behind.

Castiel was overcome with an emotion he knew all too well and when he let his eyes search out Dean which found him staring back. The awkwardness Dean was feeling was easily readable and Castiel’s heart ached for him. John sniffed, still smiling and let Sam go while moving his hand from under Missouri’s.

Sam returned to his seat and John allowed his eyes to pass between Castiel and Dean. "Kahlil will be a really good read for you, Dean. I’m glad Chuck gave it as an assignment. You’re also lucky to have Castiel here willing to help you out.” John looked at Castiel fondly and repeated the same observation Missouri had made about him, “You’re a good kid, Castiel.”

Castiel suddenly looked both surprised and shy. “Thank you, sir.”

“John. Call me John, son.” John added as he got up to clear the table of his, Missouri's and Sam's bowls. It was clear by the wide eyed look on Dean and Sam’s face that such a request was totally unheard of. They stared at Castiel as if he was the source of the greatest miracle to ever be performed. Castiel’s comfort came from the way Missouri smiled at him and as she gathered his and Dean’s bowls, she winked at him through the smile. Castiel wasn’t sure how he got so lucky to be accepted so quickly within the fold of this family and as much as it comforted, it also caused something akin to dread to blossom in the pit of his stomach.

 

~*~

 It only took a seven minute commute to reach the drive that would lead to Castiel’s house. Sam had to stay home to get ready for bed in case there was school in the morning, but Dean had been allowed to come along.

As Dean sat in the front with his dad, he could feel Castiel’s eyes on him from time to time and Dean had to suppress a smile. He wished he could turn around and look back at him, but the guilt he was grappling with, along with the self-consciousness he was feeling around his dad, kept him from doing so. While he didn’t think his dad knew what he was feeling, he knew his old man well enough that the guy would start asking questions at the first sign of Dean acting off. Questions that he would be uncomfortable answering. It would be that discomposure that his dad would pick up on and _that_ could spell trouble. The way his dad was accepting Castiel and even having Castiel call him by his first name was a pretty big deal. It was only something those close to and within the folds of the family were permitted to do. Otherwise, it was _sir_ or _Winchester_ and Dean was not going to do anything to put that on shaky ground.

They pulled up into the drive, eyes meeting the view of a [three story farmhouse](http://s3.amazonaws.com/loa.images/inv/972283/972283-1104111238194128-p.jpg) that was lit up generously with Christmas lights around the outside frame and windows of the structure. A Christmas tree could be seen through the sheer drapes of the center second story bay window.

The whole air of the home was in stark contrast to Dean’s and it made him feel even more self-conscious than he already had been. To John though, it seemed like a case of overcompensation especially knowing now what he did about the Novaks. John resisted the urge to frown and instead turned to Castiel with a smile once he put the car into park.

“Now son, no more walking to the bus stop. This world’s a little too dangerous. I’ll be here at 0700 sharp if there’s school to take you in. If your parents need to meet me then just give me a call first thing so I know to get out here a little earlier.”

Castiel knew there was no sense in resisting. John Winchester didn’t take ‘ _no_ ’ for an answer and he had no plans to deny himself any future rides with the Winchesters. While what he was experiencing in Dean’s presence was the main draw, Castiel was becoming quickly attached to all of them. It was completely unexpected and terrifying to put it mildly.

Castiel nodded and answered, “Alright. Thank you.”

At Castiel’s words, Dean exited the car. After grabbing his backpack, Castiel squeezed out too. They stood mere inches apart looking at each other for a moment while Castiel pretended to be readjusting the pack’s strap on his shoulder.

“See you tomorrow, Cas.” Dean finally said, his voice carrying the undertone of affection and reluctance.

Castiel didn’t miss the fact that Dean had shortened his name and he couldn’t help but smile in response to hearing it. There was something familiar and welcoming about how it rolled off Dean’s tongue. Suddenly it was the only name Castiel ever remember having or wanted to be called by from that moment on. _What the hell is happening to me?_ he wondered as he nodded.

“I hope so Dean.” he replied, his voice reflecting the same affection and reluctance Dean had offered. Dean smiled as Castiel had, and after another moment of lingering glances, Castiel began walking to his house. Dean stood outside the car until Castiel unlocked the door and gave a wave before he disappeared inside.

Dean climbed back in and shivered. He pretended it had to do with shaking off the cold for his old man’s benefit. His dad made no motion to let on he had known anything was odd between him and Castiel which helped Dean relax as they backed down the drive. Dean was pretty sure this was the first time in the history of his school career he ever wished for school to be open.

 

~*~

Castiel closed the front door behind him and he leaned his back against it. The heaviness of the atmosphere in the house closed in around him and pushed down on his chest. The peace he found outside its walls was starting to dissolve far too rapidly. He closed his eyes in an attempt to capture the threads but they ebbed away.

“Making friends, little bro? That’s new.”

The voice jarred Castiel and he opened his eyes. “Bite me, Gabriel.” he said as he pried himself from the door. His shoulder solidly pushed his brother out of his space as he passed by him.

“Whoa, chill! I didn’t mean anything by it.” Gabriel trailed behind Castiel up the flight of stairs.

 “Yeah, I know.” Castiel sighed as he rounded the corner. Music blared from a closed door behind which was Anna’s room where she preferred to keep herself and any friends she had over safely enclosed. It was a habit formed from too many years of their father or Michael’s judging glares rather than anything against him or Gabriel. They took another flight of stairs that led to the attic which had been converted into a bedroom with its own full bathroom. Castiel flipped the light switch as he entered his bedroom. He threw down his book bag unceremoniously to the floor, kicked off his shoes and leaped onto his bed back first. In contrast to Dean's bedroom, Castiel's was almost floor to ceiling covered in band and movie posters. Zeppelin, Iron Maiden and KISS were plastered beside Aliens, Mad Max, Star Wars and Legend. On the small spaces not covered, black paint peaked through which would have been in stark contrast to the white paint that framed the doors, windows, baseboards and the moulding that lined the ceiling. With how often they moved around, it was a pain to take down and re-tack up the posters, but it made new spaces feel like his own for however long as he was occupying them. He crossed his legs at the ankle and clasped his hands behind his head. Castiel stared up to the constellation map that spread over most of the ceiling above trying to ignore the fact Gabriel had taken a leap of his own into the chair he had moved to the side of the bed. His own legs crossed in a similar way as Castiel’s but resting on top of the night stand. Gabriel was plopping Rollos into his mouth only pausing to rip at the wrapper to pry another one loose.

“So?” Gabriel asked.

“So, what?” Castiel asked back, eyes still focused on the ceiling.

“Who was that?” Gabriel asked making obscene smacking noises while trying to navigate the caramel over his teeth and around his mouth.

“Why are you being so fucking nosy?” Castiel asked. His voice calm and complacent which was in stark contrast to the words he chose.

“Why're you being an inquest dodger?” Gabriel’s eyebrow rose, his smallish lips twitching trying to hold his smile at bay.

Castiel sighed loudly and sat up cross legged braving Gabriel’s questions eye-to-eye. “The Winchesters.”

“Bad ass name. Like the gun? I like them already.” Gabriel said while searching his pockets for something, finally fishing out his wallet and pulling a small paper rolled joint out. “I knew I put you some place." Gabriel spoke to it as if it could hear him. He then retrieved his lighter from his front pocket and putting the joint between his lips, went to lighting it in quick small puffs. Happy with its progress, he sat forward handing it out to Castiel. Castiel simply stared at it.

Gabriel’s eyebrow raised higher this time. “Going to make me toke alone? That’s another first! You dying?”

Castiel answered by taking the joint and pinching it between his thumb and index finger. He put it to his lips drawing in the light smoke in quick intakes of threes and holding his breath to allow the herb time to settle in his lungs.

"So you going to tell me what has you going off the ‘ _I don’t do the friend thing_ ’ rails?” Gabriel asked as he took the joint Castiel passed back to him. Castiel let the smoke out slowly and defying the urge to cough.

Castiel shook his head, “Nope.” he answered, his throat sounding strained and thick.

Gabriel took a hit and passed. “Why the fuck not?” Gabriel asked while trying to keep ahold of most of his breath as he did.

Castiel took a hit and shook his head again as he passed. He held his smoke a second more and let it out around his answer, “None your biz.”

Gabriel paused, lowering the joint, “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

Castiel looked at Gabriel and Gabriel sat forward eagerly. “It _is_ a girl! And here I was starting to think you became celibate or some kind of shit.” he took a hit.

Castiel didn’t know if it was because the herb was working or because his need to talk to someone was overtaking him, but the words were out of his mouth before he could think through suppressing them. “More like a guy.”

Gabriel was halfway letting his smoke out when Castiel had said it, and Gabriel’s lungs seized as he was about to say something akin to ‘ _what the fuck?!_ ’ which sent him into a coughing fit. Castiel just stared at him. After a few moments of coughing until he gagged, Gabriel composed himself. He handed the joint off to Castiel who took it.

Gabriel cleared his throat, “So, by saying it’s a guy, do you mean you have the hots for him or like he is just that cool to elicit your interest in trying to have a friend? Especially where all others have failed?”

Castiel blew out smoke, “I don’t know.” He answered truthfully.

“Whoa, wait.” Gabriel sat forward again, a crooked smile slithering over his face. “You’re fucking kidding, right?”

Castiel’s brow tightened so hard that he was squinting at Gabriel, the set of his jaw challenging his brother to say something ridiculing.

“Oh _fuck_.” Gabriel breathed out, his smile so wide the corners of his mouth were nearly reaching his ears.

Castiel didn’t pass back the joint, instead he took a couple longer draws and flicked the ash into a cup that was sitting on the night stand. He closed his eyes letting the high wash over him. If it was not for the bud, he would be shaking right about now and back peddling. He held his lungs tight until he couldn’t hold them anymore and released. Thick smoke billowed out of his nose and mouth reminding Castiel of a dragon. He started smiling at the mental imagery.

“So-.” Gabriel drew out. “Like, you're into guys then.” It was a statement rather than a question.

“I still find women- _enticing_.” Castiel said squinting, but this time because he was high rather than irritated.

Gabriel smiled again, “You greedy bastard!”

Castiel started to pass the joint to Gabriel, but his brother put his hand up, “No, man. You need that more than I do.”

Castiel shrugged and took a few more long draws. The tips of his fingers were beginning to burn so he opened the nightstand drawer, shuffling through it. Finding what he was looking for, he took the roach clip and fastened it on the joint. He wasn't planning on wasting even a fragment of it. He let the smoke out. “This is some sick shit, Gabe.” Castiel said referencing the weed. “Guess you found a new supplier already?”

Gabriel chuckled and nodded. “Wasn’t too hard. This whole damn town is up in smoke. It’s beautiful.” Gabriel kicked back again returning his feet to the nightstand. “Going to enjoy freedom while it lasts.” Gabriel frowned. “Michael’ll be home before you know it and then it is back to pretending we are just normal folk again for the masses and press.”

Castiel nodded and blew out smoke again. “Yeah. I don’t want to think about it. Sometimes I think he’s worse than Father.”

Gabriel nodded and glanced around the room before adding, “Michael’s lips should be covered in shit with how much he kisses ol’ Daddy-o’s ass.”

Castiel’s face twisted up into a look of pure disgust. “You’re fucking mental, Gabe.”

“Yeah, well…it runs in the family.” Gabriel winked at his baby brother. After a small pause they both started laughing at how true the statement was. The laughter turned into howls and crying, both of them grabbing at their ribs as they doubled over. Once they finally stopped, completely forgetting what they had been laughing about, wiping the tears from their eyes Gabriel asked, “So, what’s his name?”

Castiel put his dust of roach remains and the clip in the cup that he had put the ashes in before and answered, “Dean.”

“Dean.” Gabriel repeated as if testing the name out. “What're you going to do about this ‘ _Dean_ ’?”

“Fuck, Gabe. I don’t know.” Castiel replied sounding annoyed even though he really wasn’t. At least, he wasn’t annoyed by Gabriel’s question, but rather, he was frustrated by what was going on with him period.

“Sorry.” Gabriel said sounding sincerely repentant.

Castiel waved his hand, “No. It's not you. I- I honestly don’t know what’s going on with me or what this shit is I’m feeling. It’s fucking with my head.”

“And your dick.” Gabriel pointed out.

“Stop thinking about my dick, creep.” Castiel said as he threw a pillow as hard as he could at his brother. Gabriel leaned back further than he had meant to, trying to avoid being hit. The chair and Gabriel went flying backwards, his legs stuck straight up in the air. Castiel was already up and to his brother’s side.

“ _Owwwww_.” Gabriel grunted out pathetically.

“Shit. Sorry, Gabe.” Seeing his brother was fine, Castiel started laughing again while putting his hand out to help his brother up but Gabriel smacked his hand away.

“Yeah, I can tell you're really heartbroken, dickweed.” Gabriel said.

“Don’t be a pussy." Castiel offered his hand again and this time Gabriel took it allowing his brother to help him up and reset the chair.

Castiel regarded his brother intently and Gabriel stared back. “What is it?”

“Thanks.” Castiel replied sincerely.

“For the joint? I always share.” Gabriel said making a face showing it was a silly thing for Castiel to thank him for.

“No dip shit, for listening and not making me feel any more screwed up and confused than I already feel.” Castiel looked down to his socked feet.

“Listen, little bro. You, me and Anna? We’re all we have. We stick together, like we always have.” Gabriel said. He reached out and put a finger under his brother’s chin and lifted his eyes to meet his. “Right?”

Castiel nodded and tears started to well up. Castiel blinked against them and sniffed. He was a fucking mess if he wanted to be honest about it, but he held it together. Crumbling apart in this family just wasn't an option.

“Hey, I’m serious. I don’t care who you get hard-ons over. Hell, I’ll go to bat for the other team if the situation was right.” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows as he dropped his arm.

Castiel’s brow tightened and his head leaned as he chuckled out the question, “You would?”

Gabriel chuckled in return, “Make love. Not war. And for fuck’s sake, never refuse an orgy just because there’s sausage involved. The more the merrier! That’s the Gabriel motto.”

Gabriel slapped his hand on Castiel’s shoulder and gave him one of the few serious looks he could ever seem to manage. “Just be careful. Make sure this Dean guy is on the same page as you ‘cause if not, it could get real fugly real fast.”

Castiel nodded quickly and Gabriel was smiling again. “Now, enough of this schmaltzy homoerotic shit. I’m ready to eat the fucking fridge! Come on.”

 

 


	2. December 15, 1988 (Thursday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Ash nodded, pursing his lips as if he was contemplating whether his next words were going to be a good idea. Castiel was watching the back and forth intently as Ash finally wrote something quickly then folded and passed it back._
> 
> **Not my business or anything but, you got the hots for new guy?**  
>     
>  _Dean grabbed the note. When he unfolded it and read the words, he shifted in his seat clearly bothered by what he had read, which caused Castiel’s brow to tighten and his stomach to knot. Dean’s eyes passed to Castiel and then back to the paper. Dean was anxious now which made him ill-tempered and he wondered who else had seen what happened in the gym and then put two and two together. His heart was pounding as he wrote a quick reply._
> 
>  **You’re right Ash. None of your fucking business.**  
>     
>  _*pass*_
> 
>   _Ash shrugged and wrote._
> 
>  **Chill bro. Bring him to the party. I know his brother. His brother’s cool.**  
>     
>  _*pass*_

##  December 15, 1988 ( _Thursday_ )

 

Come morning, school had not been canceled or delayed. John arrived at the Novak's right on time. Castiel was ready and sitting on the front porch swing when the car pulled up. Gabriel and Anna had already left for school themselves and Castiel was grateful for that. He might have told his brother about Dean and the Winchesters, but he wasn’t quite ready for them to meet his own family yet. When Castiel told Gabriel that Dean’s father was a cop, he seemed concerned but didn’t bother to go into warnings. After all, Gabriel’s last girlfriend was a preacher’s daughter and they all knew well how Gabriel had screwed that up. The reason they were in Indiana in the first place had everything to do with Gabriel’s own indiscretions. So he really didn't have room to talk.

Meg had thoroughly proven what everyone says about a preacher’s kid in just about every way possible. She smoked more weed than Gabriel, Anna and Castiel combined, drank more booze than a frat boy and the noise of furniture being ' _moved around_ ’ that came from Gabriel’s room alone was rather impressive. Anna would turn her radio at full volume and the howls of laughter, headboard banging against the wall and flesh slapping could still be heard over it. Gabriel’s whoopin’ and hollerin’ like a cowboy riding a bull left enough scared imagery to last a lifetime.

But, like so many things in the lives of the Novaks, all of that had stayed behind closed doors. To the rest of the world, Meg was a beautiful, innocent and charming daughter of an influential preacher and the press lapped up the wholesome appearance of the relationship like a thirsty dog goes after his water bowl. Their father had been pleased, that is, until Gabriel and Meg had been caught by the paparazzi having a threesome with Meg’s best friend, a girl named Ruby. Their father had paid off the dope who took the picture three times what the photo was worth and moved Gabriel, Anna and Castiel to this small town tucked far away. Out of sight meant out of mind. It was his father’s philosophy with everything. He was just happy Meg and Ruby got caught with Gabriel instead of him. He didn't even want to think about the scandal that would have caused.

Castiel broke from his less than pleasant cycle of thoughts as he approached the waiting car. He was pleased to see Sam had taken the front seat which left Dean in the back. Castiel maneuvered in and got settled.

“So I take it your parents are okay with me chauffeuring you to school and back?” John asked as he pulled the car onto the road. He was looking at Castiel through the rear view mirror.

“Yes. Informing them you’re a cop seemed to be all they needed to hear.” Castiel answered even though it was only half true. He had only told Gabriel and then Anna when he saw her briefly that morning. She had kissed his cheek and told him to be careful how much he shared about their family’s dirty laundry. She liked it here and didn’t want to have to move yet again.

John seemed sated enough with Castiel’s answer and Castiel turned his attention now to the boy next to him. Dean was looking at a book in his hands. His brow was tight with concentration and as if sensing Castiel looking at him, he read out loud;

“I have seen a face with a thousand countenances, and a face that was but a single countenance as if held in a mould. I have seen a face whose sheen I could look through to the ugliness beneath, and a face whose sheen I had to lift to see how beautiful it was. I have seen an old face much lined with nothing, and a smooth face in which all things were graven. I know faces, because I look through the fabric my own eye weaves, and behold the reality beneath.”

Dean looked up to Castiel finally and asked, “It almost seems like this guy is talking about two different things. Like, mainly he’s talking about this being able to see into someone’s soul. No matter what they look like on the outside or who they pretend to be, he can see their true self. Then towards the end he seems to be talking about perception? Like how he has the ability to see into other people? It’s because he knows himself. He’s been honest with himself. ” Dean paused and wait for confirmation or correction.

Castiel smiled wide and nodded. “You're mostly correct with both interpretations. Gibran’s main idea seemed to be about seeing past the masks we all wear and seeing into the soul of another. To see them as they truly are but there’s more.”

Castiel’s eyes flickered over Dean’s face as if trying to illustrate how one would search for another’s soul. Instead of looking away like his instincts wanted to, Dean stayed still against the searching gaze. The smile Castiel held faded for a moment and then came back over what Dean could only assume was a self-conscious chuckle. It made Dean’s heart do a strange beat and he felt something close to the sensation he got from going over a hill real fast. He swallowed and smiled because there was nothing else he knew to do.

Castiel continued, “We do see others through our lens of experience and we perceive others more accurately or, rather see them more clearly when we know first ourselves more intimately. By removing our mask- by knowing ourselves, we can more accurately gage the soul of others even by a simple glance. To summarize it- to be without a mask is to gain the ability to see past the mask of others.”

Dean was smiling and shaking his head. “Wow. That’s way too deep first thing in the morning.” he chuckled as he closed the book and shoved it back into his bag. “But, thanks man. I think I get it.”

Castiel smiled. “Yeah, well I think that's why Chuck's making this a rest of the school year project. You can study Gibran’s work for a lifetime and keep coming back with new insights. The man was a freak of a genius.”

Dean was looking at him again, his eyes intensely on Castiel’s. Something in the way Dean’s eyes shifted gave Castiel the impression his own countenance was being mapped like he had done to Dean just a moment ago. And just like Dean had done, Castiel faced him letting him search to see what he could find.

“Wow! You’re smart, Cas!” Sam said turning almost fully in his seat to look back at Castiel. Castiel moved his eyes reluctantly from Dean to Sam and smiled at the compliment but mostly because Sam had used the nickname Dean had given him last night. He wondered if Dean had been talking about him to Sam after they had parted or if Sam had just come by it his own way.

“Thank you, Sam, but I get the feeling you're smart as well. I see you have sixth grade level books in your lap but you should be in fifth, am I right?” Castiel asked.

Sam’s smiled sheepishly and Dean’s eyes blew wide. “Yeah, I was moved ahead a grade. Teacher said something about me being ‘ _gifted_ ’.” Sam confirmed.

John was looking at Castiel again from his rear view and Castiel pretended not to notice. Dean spoke next, “How’d you know that? Are you psychic like Missouri?”

“Hardly. Just observant. Like I said, I saw the textbooks and did the math on the age difference.” Castiel informed and then he had to ask, “Missouri's psychic?”

“Yup!” Sam said enthusiastically. “She has helped solve loads of murders!”

“Sammy.” John interrupted him. In a firm but affectionate tone added, “That’s enough, son. Not the kind of talk for first thing in the morning. Okay?”

Sam nodded. “Sorry, Dad.” He answered and John simply reached over and rubbed the back of Sam’s head. He smiled when Sam turned to him and smiled back.

Castiel couldn’t help but feel like there was some underlying tension now even though he wasn’t quite sure what had caused it. The rest of the trip to drop off Sam was spent in relative silence. When they had arrived, John got out with Sam to walk him into the school but Dean stayed sitting, so Castiel did as well. Once John and Sam had disappeared within the building Castiel decided to apologize, “I'm sorry if I said anything wrong.”

Dean looked at him. His expression confused. “You didn't say anything wrong man. Just a touchy subject with my dad. It brings up unresolved shit with his job and my mom that neither Dad or I like talking about. You know, like death and dying. Sam’s clueless so he slips sometimes.”

Castiel wasn’t sure what talking about murders and their mom had to do with each other but he guessed talking about death at all was that main factor. He nodded but still keenly felt the change in the atmosphere. Dean must have noticed because he grabbed his forearm in a solid grip.

“Hey.”

Castiel turned to him.

“Seriously man. It’s okay. If you're going to be hanging out with Sammy and me you gotta get used to the awkward mom mentions or subjects that lead to awkwardness at all. Kinda just how it is with us Winchesters.” Dean let him go when Castiel nodded, confirming that he understood.

“I guess you will know what to expect then when you meet my family then.” Castiel said and smiled. “Lots of awkward silence and skirting around things that are too painful to discuss in polite company.”

Dean nodded with a small smile of his own. “I guess so.”

Castiel reached out and grabbed Dean’s forearm in a similar manner as Dean had with him, causing Dean glanced up. “For what it’s worth, Dean. I happen to think you are extremely fucking smart too. Don’t cut yourself short. No one I have ever met has been able to grasp Gibran so quickly.”

Dean’s face flushed hot against the compliment and he looked away for a moment, still feeling Castiel’s hand on him. No one had ever told Dean anything like that before and he wasn’t sure what to do with it or how to respond other than to say, “Sure, Cas. Okay.” Dean was facing him again and Castiel nodded his head once before letting his hand fall from Dean’s arm.

The door suddenly opened and John slid in causing the both of them to jump. Nothing more was said, but the mood in the car was more relaxed the rest of the ride.

The beginning of the day had carried on much as it had before, except Castiel got to know more about their little group. The one thing that bonded them all together was the fact they had either lost someone close to them or they had a parent walk out on them. Ash and Garth were cousins and after Ash's parents died in a car accident, he had gone to live with Garth and his parents. Becky’s father had walked out, and her mom worked two jobs trying to keep things together. Jo’s father was shot and killed while trying to stop a brawl that got out of hand outside of the bar that her parents owned. Her mom still ran the Roadhouse, but she turned it into a bar and grill. A place for family rather than roughnecks, and had become a pretty popular place with the locals. Dean did play football as Castiel suspected, but he could tell Dean did it for something to do rather than being religiously devoted to it. It was apparent from the various comments made by the others that he was really good at it though.

Dean was popular and talked with everyone easily though it was clear who he preferred hanging with. This little rag-tag group Garth affectionately referred to as the ‘ _Scooby Gang_ ’.

In the thirty minutes before the first bell rang, Castiel learned a little more about everyone. Ash was easily the more proficient among them. His genius was the sort that was plenty scary. He spoke about ‘ _hacking_ ’ and ‘ _system piracy_ ’ like it was his first and only love. Even though Garth and Ash’s family were too poor to afford a personal computer, Ash literally scoured through dumpsters around businesses and homes looking for parts. He traded favors and sold bud to get enough money for the parts he actually had to buy. In a few months he had found all he needed to build his own. He spoke fondly of how easy it was to crack codes and write encryptions. He also spoke longingly about how he would one day crack a banking system and spread the wealth to poor suckers like himself. He also described how he could create a worm to effectively wipe the debt from everyone in the world while he was at it.

Ash had predicted, “In the next ten years everything will be on computers, my compadres. Cash will be ancient history. Everything man, even the world debt, will be in the system and not on paper." Ash reasoned, “If it’s not in the system man, it simply doesn’t fucking exist. You got me? Just you watch. One day you’ll be thanking me for that anonymous donation in your bank accounts." Castiel didn’t doubt his sincerity nor his future ability to do exactly what he said he would. As Ash had informed him, _War Games_ was hands down his favorite movie of all time, of course.

Castiel listened to him in astonishment and mused that either Ash was going to go on to graduate from MIT and work for some top level secret government agency or he was going to be the greatest hacking mastermind the world had ever seen. Castiel instantly loved the guy, combat boots, mullet, Lynard Skynard hoodie- the whole nine yards. Ash started out the whole, ‘ _What I wanna be when I grow up_ ’ topic and Garth was the first to pipe in behind his cousin. Garth Fitzgerald IV wanted to be a pediatric dentist or a child psychologist.

Castiel assured him he would be fantastic at either. “You’re wise and easy to talk to Garth. You would be a natural with kids either way you decide to go.” Castiel had said to him. Garth was so overcome with Castiel’s words that he had hugged the breath out of him and Ash had to peel his cousin off.

“You’re such a sap!” Ash had teased him.

Jo Harvelle wanted to either follow in the family footsteps by owning her own chain of bar and grills or become a cop. Neither of which her mom, Ellen, was happy with. Castiel didn’t take her for one to worry about what her mother thought. What Jo wanted to do, she was going to do, regardless.

Becky Rosen wanted to write a bestseller, become rich and settle on an island in the Caribbean. Once she found out Castiel had lived in Jamaica for several months when he was ten, she nearly ran him over with questions. She was a touchy-feely sort and Castiel didn't mind it. She her hyperness was a little overkill, but she was cute. Castiel glanced at Dean for a moment not missing the hard set and clinching of Dean’s jaw.

Castiel wasn't sure why he did it really. Maybe it was to push Dean or just trying to gauge Dean’s reactions. During one of Becky's on going discussions about Star Trek captains having a thing for their second in command, Castiel faked a chuckle and put his hand on Becky’s leg. She was genuinely giggling and returned the touch with a hand on his chest which she began rubbing fabric over skin. Her eyes lit up discovering that he was fit and tight underneath and her smile widened as he leaned in closer to her. Dean shot up and pushed in between them, sitting down roughly practically pushing Becky off the bleachers. She took the hint after shooting Dean a look that could curdle milk and turned to Garth whom she continued the excited chatter with. Garth listened patiently as anyone harboring a crush would.

Castiel stared at Dean who was sitting hip to hip with him now. Dean turned to him which resulted in them being mere inches from each other’s face. A thrill was coursing through Castiel because he hadn’t expected anything really but now he was reeling and wondering what the fuck was going on. Dean was still seething, breaths quick through flaring nostrils and jaw still set but he managed a nervous smile as his eyes shifted over Castiel’s face, settling on his eyes. Castiel’s tongue slipped out and over his lips on reflex. Dean’s eyes shifted to the action and Castiel held his breath.

Jo yanked hurriedly on Ash’s arm and he looked at her, his brows pinched in annoyance until Jo mouthed silently, “ _Look!_ ” while pointing towards Castiel and Dean. Ash’s face relaxed and then his eyes slowly grew wider. Without taking his eyes off them, Ash reached back and slapped his cousin on the side of his thigh. Garth turned and Becky, seeing Garth’s attention was off of her, let her eyes turn to where Garth’s had gone. A soft, “ _Like, oh my God!_ ” came from her. Castiel and Dean were staring at each other almost so close now that their noses were nearly touching.

“Whoa!” Ash exclaimed loud enough to break the spell. He then blinked and shook his body like a dog after its bath.

Dean pulled back from Castiel. ‘ _When had he leaned toward the guy_ ’? Dean asked himself, his eyes still on Castiel’s.

“That, bro- was _intense_.” Ash stated as the bell rang.

The group started at getting their things and tossed glances to Dean and Castiel as they made their way out. Dean tried to remain cool but a panicked expression was all over him and he nearly fell while descending the bleachers. He finally turned but, never looking at Castiel, managed to mutter, “See you, Cas.” before Dean practically ran to his next class. Castiel was left reeling on the end of, ‘ _What in the hell just happened_?’ although knowing fully well what the answer was. While Castiel got the confirmation he wanted, he was afraid to know at what price it had come.

 

~*~

The whole first period Dean sat staring at his math book. His mind going over and over what had happened in the gym. Watching Becky touch Cas and Cas smiling and touching back as if he was totally into it…sent feelings of jealousy and possessiveness through him. So much so that he had practically thrown Becky out of the way just to get between them. As he sat staring at Cas, he had wanted to punch the boy in his beautiful mouth and he really wasn’t sure why he would want to do that in the first place. Why would he care about Cas being into Becky? Quickly though, that feeling turned into something else as he had stared into Cas’ eyes and an intense burning desire to reach out, grab him- to pull his mouth to his own as he took his anger out on the bow of those lips. Biting and licking over them and then his tongue sliding along Cas’. The imagery was so vivid it sent that feeling of flying over hills into his gut again and goose-bumps started rising all over him. His groin twitched and his pants started growing tighter. At that, Dean shot his hand up so suddenly that it almost came out of its socket. The teacher looked at him strangely but gave Dean clearance to go to the restroom.

Dean was relieved no one was in the restroom when he entered but it was short lived when he heard the door open and close from behind him. Dean turned to see who it was and froze as he met the all-consuming presence of Castiel. He was standing still too as his gaze fell from Dean’s face down the length of his body to Dean’s crotch and then back up again. Dean knew the evidence of his arousal had been noticed and he should have been embarrassed about that but all his mind could register was Castiel’s eyes lingering over him in a very lust filled way.

Castiel's gaze hesitated on Dean’s lips and when they finally flickered back to his eyes. Dean breathed out, “ _Cas?_ ” his heart thundering in his ears. In the next breath Castiel had crossed the distance between them.

Castiel had no well-formed plot in being here other than he couldn’t get Dean out of his mind. How close they had been to making out in the gym had caused a frustration that needed taking care of. Castiel didn’t think he had misread the moment. At least he hoped he hadn’t, especially now that he some how was suddenly standing so far into Dean’s personal space that their chests were nearly touching. Both of them were breathing irregularly and heavy as Castiel leaned his face in towards Dean’s. Dean’s eyes flickered in a panicked expectancy between Castiel’s mouth and eyes but Castiel didn’t move. He stayed where he was, not inching forward as Dean desperately wanted him to.

Castiel was waiting for something and Dean, being propelled by nothing but instincts and desire, knew that Castiel was waiting for his _permission_. Cas needed Dean to let him know this was what he really wanted and that _this_ was okay. While a part of Dean wanted to bolt from the room, a deeper and much more resounding part of him wanted the complete opposite and more. It was _that_ part of him that had him nodding rapidly under the heady gaze of the other boy.

As if that nod was a switch being flipped to make Castiel move again, he leaned closer and closer until his lips brushed Dean’s gently, testing. He needed to make sure that the nod from Dean meant exactly what he _needed_ it to mean and to allow Dean the out if he wanted to take it. Castiel kept his eyes on Dean’s face even though his lids were heavy now with desire and Dean was attempting to do the same but his eyes kept slipping glances towards the door and then back to Castiel.

Castiel had expected the anxiousness of a _first kiss_ to feel different with a guy from how it did with a girl, but if anything, it was exciting him more. These lingering moments just before the act itself were both familiar and frightening, but it was also- well- it felt _incredible_.

Dean’s mouth opened slightly as he began to return Castiel’s soft touch of lips. Their noses nuzzled against each other’s cheeks as their lips hovered scarcely touching- testing. Their breaths were still coming quick and hot against each other’s mouths. Castiel was surprised when Dean reached up and wrapped his trembling fists in his shirt and before Castiel could register another thought he found himself in a stall, the door closed and the sound of a latch catching. Castiel’s back slammed against the stall with enough strength to rattle its walls. Dean’s breaths were running hard and quick, the puffs of which blew across Castiel’s heated face. He was about to lean in for another touch of lips but Dean beat him to it by capturing Castiel’s mouth hungrily with his own. Dean closed his eyes tightly against the sensations coursing through his entire body. Electrical-like surges pulsed from his heart to his groin and Dean moaned loudly.

Castiel gave in under the force being inflicted over him, allowing Dean to lead and take whatever he wanted. When Dean moaned, Castiel’s heart flipped and then raced. It left him feeling lightheaded and thankful for the wall behind him and the weight of Dean pressing tightly against him to keep him upright.

Dean knew he should be caring about what this meant- what this said about him, but all he felt was an indescribable need that acted itself out by devouring Castiel’s mouth as his tongue pushed forward tasting Castiel’s lips that parted willingly for him. Warmth and pleasure pooled into Castiel’s cock as their tongues touched and explored each other. He made his own moan into Dean’s mouth and any reservation Dean had at the start of all of this melted away into a primal urge- a need. Castiel smelled like the mixture of earth and the faint scent of a cologne which reminded Dean of wood, sweet grass and cigars- it was intoxicating. He pulled at Castiel’s shirt until his hands touched warm and toned flesh. The way Castiel’s lean muscles flexed in response to the presence of Dean’s hands fueled his hands’ next move as they slipped down till they were at the boundaries of Castiel’s belt. It was the ledge of no return. Dean knew this, but as the need shoved him full force into this moment with Castiel, Dean began in haste to unhook Castiel’s belt buckle and, to Dean’s relief, Castiel started to do the same to his. As they both worked frantically, their mouths’ adulation grew messier and hungrier.

Castiel’s mind was in total submission of the moment. How natural- how _easy_ this felt? Dean’s hands on him. Dean’s tongue sliding and tasting with his. Dean’s moans of want and need echoing around the stall with his own. The scent of him, all sandalwood, leather, and something solely Dean. Castiel breathed Dean in as they rutted against each other and almost growled. Dean’s hands fumbling with his belt, pants button and then his zipper. Castiel fought to get to Dean’s arousal which he could feel pressing against his own. He _needed_ to feel- to grip Dean and make him respond to his touch. Castiel gave not an ounce of a fuck what the world thought about what secret want they shared or about what they were doing to each other because _this_ , _this_ was freeing in ways he had never experienced before. For someone like Castiel, that was certainly something significant. He had been with several girls and had his own excursion into threesomes thanks to his brother, Gabriel. The only thing throwing Castiel off guard was how pulled he felt towards Dean, like something had balled him up and hurtled him towards this boy coming apart right now in his arms. That acknowledgment set him on his heels, but this was really the only way Castiel wanted this to go. To come undone under the touch of one Dean-fucking-Winchester.

Dean moaned as Castiel’s hand found his cock first. Just a moment later Dean had Castiel’s in a tight and earnest grip that Castiel made a thrust into. This only spurred Dean on as he began to thrust into Castiel’s grip in return. With the first few chaotic motions both their pants fell to their ankles and were now flesh to flesh as they stroked and moved against one another. Small whimpers and gasps filled the empty spaces of the stall. In short work they caught a rhythm that came naturally to them, the kisses grew deeper until Castiel broke his mouth away just enough to breathlessly say, “Dean. I-”

Dean kissed the words away and then pulled back, “I know. I know, Cas. I’ve got you.” Dean marveled over how Castiel’s face wore pleasure, the very pleasure Dean was causing. Castiel's beautiful blues only a hint over pupils blown wide and lips parted and red from Dean’s passionate onslaught. It made Dean feel empowered, secure and assured. He kissed Castiel again as Castiel nodded. Dean continued to grip him as he matched his rhythm of fucking which started growing quicker- _desperate_. After a moment more Castiel’s other hand shot up to grip the back of Dean’s head pressing Dean’s lips so tightly to his that their teeth collided. Castiel’s fingers gripping the hairs at the nap of Dean's neck opened and closed frantically in response to the pleasure and the pressure building at the base of his spine and pooled in towards the heat of Dean’s grip. Dean did the same, wrapping his fingers in the hair at the base of Castiel’s neck in an attempt to keep standing as his knees began to buckle. As Dean pulled the hair there, Castiel came with an almost growling groan against Dean’s mouth. As if spurred by the sound of Castiel’s pleasure and the pulsing of Castiel’s orgasm in his hand, Dean came as well with his eyes rolled tightly towards that back of his head. Nothing had ever felt quite this fucking good if Dean was being honest and he wasn’t exactly sure why since he was nothing but experienced with sex and this had just been a hand job.

Their kiss broke but they rested their foreheads together as they waited to come down. Once their breathing had slowed, Dean backed away to assess the damage. Luckily they had avoided hitting their clothes but they had remains of each other on their hands. Castiel reached down and unrolled some toilet tissue so that they could clean up enough to get their pants back up. They said nothing to each other as they wiped their hands and threw the tissues into the toilet. Neither did they make eye contact as Dean flushed the toilet or as they made their way out of the stall and to the sinks to wash their hands.

Once their hands were dried, Castiel risked looking at Dean and, to his relief, the regard was being returned. Castiel smiled slightly, unsure now what to even say. It was obvious Dean was feeling much the same, which was oddly comforting when it should have been awkward. Castiel made a turn to leave, not knowing what else to say or do but Dean reached out and grabbed Castiel’s arm before he could retreat.

“Hey.” he said as Castiel turned back around to face him. “Is- are we okay?” Dean asked.

Castiel could see how timid and unsure Dean was obviously feeling, his face was hiding nothing. So Castiel did the only thing he knew to do to help ease Dean’s fears: he took the hand that was gripping his arm into his and entwined their fingers together. Castiel leaned in and softly touched Dean’s lips with his own. It was brief but when he pulled back, he could tell it had worked. Dean smiled finally.

“We’re okay, Dean.” Castiel assured him and let go of his hand. Castiel turned and left the restroom, leaving Dean to stand there going over what had happened. Dean didn’t move again until another boy entered the restroom a few minutes later.

 

~*~

Castiel didn’t wait for Dean after class. Something told him Dean wouldn’t come anyway so he headed to class without him. When Castiel entered he instantly leveled his eyes to the back of the class where Dean was already sitting. The desk next to him had his book bag on top of it where he was obviously saving the seat for Castiel. Dean sat up straighter once he saw him and a nervous expression playing out over his face. Dean reached across and grabbed his bag as Castiel sat down. The noise level hadn’t picked up yet since there were at least a couple more minutes until the bell rang and there weren’t that many students yet.

Dean leaned closer towards Castiel and said in a hushed tone, “Sorry I didn’t meet you after class.”

Castiel turned to him and replied in a similar hushed tone, “I knew you wouldn’t Dean. It’s okay.”

“No. No, it’s not _okay,_ Cas.” Dean replied in an irritated tone. Castiel wasn’t sure if it was being leveled at him or if Dean was feeling it towards himself. Dean‘s voice quieted to an almost whisper, “It’s just complicated. Fuckin’-A. Wait, what do you mean you knew I wouldn’t?” Dean clearly appeared offended about that.

Castiel’s brow tightened. “I just reasoned you would need some space after what- happened.”

Dean’s jaw twitched. “You say that like what happened was a bad thing.” Dean leaned towards Castiel now, his voice still low but clearly frustrated. “You said we’re okay.” He frowned.

“What? No!” Castiel’s voice came up a notch and then he lowered again after a quick glance around them. No one was paying attention so he continued, “And yes we _are_ okay, Dean.” Castiel sighed. “Perhaps we need to talk about it.” he offered and watched Dean’s face fall into something akin to panic. “ _Later_ and not here.” Castiel amended which seemed to relax Dean and he nodded.

Ash and Jo entered just as the bell rang. Jo sat where she had the day before and once again was smiling at Castiel, but this time there was something else interwoven in the lines of her smile. A knowing, even if she wasn’t aware of exactly the depths of what she actually knew. Ash sat in front of Dean again but as he shot up his fist, there was a folded piece of paper held firmly between thumb and index finger.

Dean snatched it out of his hand and unfolded it to read the handwritten note.

_**Party. This weekend. At the caves. In celebration of blowing this joint for two weeks. You in?** _

Dean hurriedly wrote back, refolded and passed the note into Ash’s awaiting hand.

_**I _’_ ll have to factor in a cover story for Dad. But yeah. I think I’ll make it.** _

Ash nodded pursing his lips as if he was contemplating whether his next words were going to be a good idea. Castiel was watching the back and forth intently as Ash finally wrote something quickly then folded and passed it back.

_**Not my business or anything but, you got the hots for new guy?** _

Dean grabbed the note. When he unfolded it and read the words, he shifted in his seat clearly bothered by what he had read, which caused Castiel’s brow to tighten and his stomach to knot. Dean’s eyes passed to Castiel and then back to the paper. Dean was anxious now which made him ill-tempered and he wondered who else had seen what happened in the gym and then put two and two together. His heart was pounding as he wrote a quick reply.

_**You’re right Ash. None of your fucking business.** _

_*pass*_

Ash shrugged and wrote.

_**Chill bro. Bring him to the party. I know his brother. His brother’s cool.** _

_*pass*_

Dean read the words and crumpled up the paper, throwing it into his bag. He was curious to know how Ash knew any of Castiel’s family but he was pretty sure it was connected to Ash’s pot selling. Dean felt eyes on him and he turned to Castiel, who was looking at him with a mixture of worry and curiosity. Dean could have left him hanging but he didn’t want to have Cas worrying all through class so he quickly jotted a note and passed it to him.

_**It’s okay man. Party this weekend. You’ve been invited.** _

Chuck finally entered in a rush. “All right, my crew of contentious novices. Today we are reading more from _‘The Prophet’_. We are starting where we left off.”

 

~*~

Class went by quickly and then it was another class without Dean, which went excruciatingly slow, but then _finally_ , it was lunch time. Northside Middle and North High were both open campuses which meant students who had permission from parents could leave school grounds for lunch. There was a line of fast food places dotting the main stretch of street in front of the high school. The whole Scooby Gang had been lucky to have the same period for lunch so they gathered at the east side of the building and began making the long trek to the A&W. They were a block away when a voice called out, “Oui! Winchester!”

A boy, clearly a high school student, fitted in dress slacks, a tweed dress coat over a plain black tee and wearing black Converses came from out of the alley between the two buildings.

Dean groaned, “Eat shit, Crowley.” he said as they passed him.

Crowley responded simply with a British accent, “Is that any way to speak to your business partner?” About that time four other older boys stepped from around the other side of the building in front of them cracking their knuckles and making a subtle show of how tough they were.

Dean stopped as did everyone else. “ _Shit_.” Dean said lowly as he rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and turned towards Crowley who was already in Dean’s personal space. Dean pulled his head back as if avoiding the possibility of Crowley even breathing on him.

“We’re not partners, Crowley.” Dean said with defiance.

“Not yet, but I’m willing to wager we’ll come to an agreement soon enough.” Crowley smiled.

“The answer will still be ' _bite me'_  with a side of ' _cram it up your ass'_.” Dean said sarcastically adding a grin on for good measure.

Castiel smiled and let out a huff of a laugh at Dean’s response. Crowley was looking moderately annoyed by Dean’s comeback but it was Castiel’s blatant bemusement that caused his brow to take a pensive turn.

“What _are_ you smiling at?” Crowley asked.

Castiel was even more humored by the mob boss-like act. “I’m going to fringe stating the obvious and say hmmm-.” Castiel was looking up and pointed at his chin like he was really trying to pluck the answer from the sky. Finding it, he looked back to Crowley. “Ah!” Castiel’s smile faded and the humor washed from his face as he glared hard at Crowley. He concluded, “An asshole who’s watched way too many Godfather films and isn’t aware Miami Vice went out of style, by the looks of it.”

Crowley was angry now and he moved forward towards Castiel. Dean was watching the whole thing in wonder until Crowley’s movement snapped him out of it and he stepped forward in front of Castiel, who was still glaring and not moving. Crowley switched his anger towards Dean.

“What’s this, eh? Your girlfriend need protecting, Winchester? She probably shouldn’t be opening her smart fucking mouth!” Crowley shouted the ending but realized he was losing his calm exterior so he straightened his jacket and was about to back away when Castiel sidestepped Dean and was hovering over Crowley now. Crowley was shocked at first but he quickly recovered.

“Dean? I would call off your bitch.” Crowley lifted his hand up, his fingers poised and ready. “You know precisely what will happen here if I snap my fingers.”

Dean was looking a little more concerned and he began to tug on Castiel’s jacket. “Put the fingers away, Crowley. We’re going.”

Castiel wasn’t moving so Dean finally grabbed Castiel’s arm and pulled him with all his strength. Castiel allowed himself to be pulled but he made Dean work for it and didn’t take his eyes off Crowley the whole way. Crowley put his hand down slowly. The rest of the gang had already started moving on down the street the moment the confrontation was over. Dean brushed past Crowley’s goons with Castiel in tow, who turned from Crowley finally to look them up and down.

“This is not the end of our little talk, Winchester.” was the last thing Crowley said before he turned and disappeared back into the alley from which he came.

Castiel shrugged Dean’s hand off his arm, clearly pissed. Dean gave him a tight look but said nothing. Ash on the other hand spoke up. “Dude, that was- bad ass! You’ve got some mighty sets of steel, my compadre!”

“Shut up, Ash. Cas is new here and doesn’t understand the difference between fucking with average dicks and fucking with Crowley.”

Castiel stopped mid-stride, turned on his heel and began heading back in the direction they had come from- back towards Crowley.

“Hey! Cas!” Dean called after him but by time it registered where Castiel was going, Dean had to sprint to catch up to him. Dean pulled him by his arm and when Castiel turned to face him, Dean could see he was seething.

“What’s up, man?” Dean asked, brow tight.

In a low enough voice so that neither Crowley nor their friends could hear if they were still lingering, Castiel responded, “What does Crowley have on you, Dean? What does he want from you?”

Dean remained silent, his mind stammering on what to say.

Castiel sighed. “I can just go beat it out of Crowley if you prefer.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

Castiel nodded. “Okay.” He turned heading in the direction of Crowley again and Dean grabbed him again.

“Dude, no. _Listen_ , I’ll explain later, promise. Just- let’s just go get something to eat. Get this day over with.” There was pleading in Dean’s face, though he tried to keep his words composed.

Castiel relented, making a silent vow to bring it up again and again until he got the answers. He knew he was coming off a little strong but the idea of a jackass threatening Dean with what pretty much sounded like blackmail just set his protective tendencies on overdrive. Another very distinct Novak trait.

 

~*~

As they sat down to eat, Garth spoke, “My cousin’s right, you know? You’ve gotta have, like, balls of steel.”

Castiel swallowed down his burger and, brushing his hands free of the crumbs asked, “Yeah? How so?”

“Because, man. Crowley’s minions carry makeshift weapons like truncheons. They’ll punch you with a roll of quarters balled up in their fists. Not a simple Mike Tyson Punch Out cause they aim to put you in the hospital. In case you’re thinking I’m exaggerating, just ask around about Tommy Bryson. Crowley’s thugs broke his jaw last year for ditching Crowley’s sister and he never came back.” Garth replied, sticking a fry in his mouth. About that time, Dean dropped his tray on the table as he sat across and diagonally from Castiel instead of beside him.

Castiel noticed but wasn’t about to show it. He shrugged and replied simply, “Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” He continued eating as if he was unconcerned about Crowley’s more violent tendencies or the fact he might have made his ‘ _enemy number one’_ list.

Dean just stared at him like he had grown an extra head. “Are you trying to say nothing scares you, Cas? Cause that’s bullshit.” Dean said it with a challenge in his tone.

“Contrary, Dean. There’s not much that scares me but- the things that do? They have nothing to do with myself or what happens to me.” Castiel corrected, still not looking at Dean and only concerning himself with his food.

Becky chimed in, “So...you’re, like, suicidal?” She said it in such an off-handed and cheerful way that Castiel looked up, his head tipping to the side.

“The desire to put another’s well-being before my own or to make sacrifices for the greater good is not suicidal.” Castiel corrected.

“No, it’s just simple martyrdom.” Dean shot back clearly still annoyed.

Castiel did not take the bait, though, and instead observed, “See how smart you are, Dean?” He pointed a fry in his direction for emphasis.

“What? Because I’ve got it right? You working towards Sainthood or something cause I gotta tell ya, I don’t think you’ll qualify.” Dean winked at Castiel as he sat back and fought the knowing smirk twitching the corners of his mouth.

“No.” Castiel almost rolled his eyes but didn’t hide his answering smirk as he continued, “Because you know what being a martyr means. Besides, I have it on good authority you wouldn’t qualify either.” Castiel’s smirk turned into a full blown smile and threw the fry he had been pointing at Dean with into his mouth.

“Hey, man. I know what being a martyr means!” Ash added defensively.

Castiel laughed. “Yeah, well. I think it has been previously established you’re a genius, Ash.”

Ash smiled as he sat back and reached into the pocket of his hoodie to retrieve one of the mint flavored tooth picks he seemed to be a fan of. He put it in his mouth looking very pleased with himself. “Genius. I like the sound of that.” Ash replied with an all too proud of himself grin.

Dean just stared at Castiel. He was beginning to realize he was seeing more of who Cas truly was since he was becoming comfortable with them. While this open and sarcastic Cas was angering Dean on one level, on another level Cas’ rogue-like personality was endearing him to Dean even more. What was it about Cas that had Dean wanting to punch him in the mouth or push him away but, at the same time, made him want to pull Cas to him and do things he never felt like doing with any other guy? Dean’s thoughts wandered on its own accord to what happened in the restroom just a few hours before. It had felt right and yet, was that not the exact opposite of how it should have felt? His face began to flush hot again so Dean stood immediately, taking his tray and barely touched food to the trash bin. He grabbed the burger before throwing the rest in the trash and took it with him. “Come on, guys. ‘Bout time to get back.”

Castiel watched Dean’s retreating figure and he puffed a small laugh to himself. He threw the last remains of his burger into his mouth and gathered his trash. Throwing it away, he made his way towards the door that Dean stood holding open for him. Obviously Dean forgave easily because when he let go of the door he punched Castiel hard, but playfully, in the arm. Dean was wearing a wide smile and Castiel laughed.

“Ow!” Castiel exclaimed.

“You deserved it.” Dean accused.

Castiel could not argue that point so instead replied, “Perhaps I did, but I won’t apologize for stepping up to this Crowley dick with you.”

It was Dean’s turn to tilt his head at Castiel as they walked side-by-side. “With me? Don’tcha mean for me?”

Castiel looked forward and shook his head before turning his gaze back to Dean. “No. I stood _with_ you, not _for_ you Dean. You don’t need protecting. What you need is someone to hold Crowley down while you lay his posh ass out.” Castiel winked at him.

Dean’s smile spread so wide all his teeth were showing and his cheeks tinged with red. The sensation brought memories of Castiel’s hands and mouth on his skin flooding back to him. Dean had to fight the urge to reach out and grab the other boy’s hand. “I have no clue what ‘ _posh_ ’ means but I like the sound of the rest of it.” Dean said instead. It was Castiel’s turn for red cheeks and a wide smile.

 

~*~

Next class after lunch was Study Hall which Dean and Castiel shared with everyone else in their little rag-tag group. All of them sat together towards the back and spent most of the period passing notes back and forth, one of which was passed between Dean and Castiel for a good part of the period. In it were random doodles of how many ways they could invent to kick Crowley’s ass as a tag team. Both of them had the hardest time holding back their laughter. There was one illustration in particular that almost set Dean off. It was Castiel’s depiction of Castiel literally shoving one of Crowley’s henchmen up Crowley’s ass. In it, Castiel had drawn an arrow towards Crowley’s stuffed rectum and wrote in a thought bubble “ _Posh_ ” and another arrow was pointing at the torso and legs that were hanging out of Crowley’s backside. The bubble at the end of the arrow said “ _dick_ ”. Dean’s face had gone completely red as he held back the laughter and his eyes brimmed with tears from the strain of holding it all in. Ash grew curious and Dean passed it to him without needing to be asked. Unlike Dean, Ash didn’t hold back his laughter.

The teacher shot a look up, her brow tight and irritated. “Ash? Quiet, please.”

“Sorry, Teach! Just a really funny part in this required reading.” Ash stammered out.

“What required reading?” The Study Hall teacher inquired. Her brow was still tight in annoyance.

“ _Lord of the Flies_.” Ash responded with an added, “Wheeew!” on the end as he caught his breath and blinked.

The teacher’s eyes went wide and a slight look of horror played across her features. One does not laugh unto tears while reading _Lord of the Flies_ , obviously. Castiel snorted and grinned while Dean full on laughed out loud, unable to hold back both the laughter from Castiel’s illustration coupled with Ash’s response.

“Boys! Quiet or I’ll have to send you to the office.” the teacher warned.

Study Hall was pretty boring for the rest of the hour except for the knowing glances that Dean and Castiel continued to pass between each other with shy smiles. The only other class Castiel and Dean shared was the last class of the day: Biology. Fortunately, this class was set up with long desks that sat two people per. It was the only class that no one else of the gang were apart of so naturally Dean and Cas took a seat at a table together.

“You’re lucky. Today we’re dissecting giant grasshoppers!” Dean informed, his face twisting in disgust.

“Sounds like fun.” Castiel replied as he shuffled his bag under the desk and looked back up to Dean who was giving him an odd look.

“What?” Castiel asked.

“You actually sound jazzed about cutting it open and playing with its guts.” Dean responded with an eyebrow raised.

“I happen to enjoy Biology. I especially enjoy the hands-on approach.” Castiel offered. “Most schools don’t allow dissection until high school. I’m pleased that’s not the case here.”

“Dude!” Dean’s brow tightened. “Who _are_ you?” It wasn’t a serious question even though it was asked with seriousness.

Castiel chuckled. “Relax, Dean. I just love Biology. I want to be a surgeon one day.”

Dean’s brow relaxed and he nodded slightly, “I don’t know what I want to do.” Dean added in an insecure and low voice. He looked away towards the front of the class, suddenly feeling very inadequate next to Castiel and he didn’t like the feeling at all.

Castiel noticed the change in Dean and his brow knitted together. He was about to ask him what was wrong but the teacher came in about that time, carrying several large bags with what were obviously giant grasshoppers floating in formaldehyde.

“Afternoon, class!” She set the bags on the table in a huff. “We have dissection today.” She turned to face the class. A smile played across her mouth as she found Castiel’s face in the room full of students and added, “And it appears we have a new student.” Everyone turned to Castiel.

“I’m sure you’ve had to do this a hundred times in the last couple days, sweetie, but can you please introduce yourself?”

“That’s fine, Dr. Visyak.”

Ms. Visyak’s eyebrows rose at Castiel’s use of her professional title rather than the typical ‘Ms.’ that the rest of her class used. Her smile widened more in curiosity.

“My name is Castiel James Novak.”

“Pleased to meet you, Castiel.” She gave him a small nod. She then turned her attention to the rest of the class. “I need for everyone to get their aprons, safety goggles and gloves from the closet. Then take out your dissection trays from your desks. I don’t have enough grasshoppers for everyone so we are teaming up with this one.”

Everyone started to move to the supply closet and Castiel turned to Dean, who had not moved yet. Dean was just staring at him oddly. “Dude, seriously. Who _are_ you?”

Castiel just laughed again and shook his head. He got up to move to the supply closet and Dean followed. When they reach it, Castiel responded, “I’ve been raised to address people by their professional titles. It’s not strange, just not the norm in public schools.” Castiel grabbed an apron, goggles and a pair of gloves while Dean reached in and did the same.

“No. I get that. But I mean, how did you know Ms. Visyak was a Dr. Visyak?” Dean asked as they made their way back to their desk.

Castiel shrugged as he sat down. “I researched all of the faculty before I arrived.”

“Why would you do that?” Dean asked because he really was curious now.

“Because one does not simply walk into Mordor.” Castiel replied like it would explain everything.

“What?!” Dean mouthed with his brow tightening.

Castiel turned to him with a look of astonishment on his face. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. _Lord of the Rings_?”

Dean continued to stare blankly at him. Castiel rolled his eyes good naturedly then sang lowly, “ _T’was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair. But Gollum, and the Evil One crept up and slipped away with her._ ”

Dean’s face lit up, “Ramble On!”

“Fuck. Thank the gods…at least you knew that. I was thinking we were going to have to reevaluate our friendship.”

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed lowly with a look of genuine hurt on his face.

“I’m _joking,_ Dean. But you _are_ going to read _Lord of the Rings_. That’s just facts.” Castiel asserted.

Dean said no more and got out their tray from the drawer under the desk. Scalpel and tweezers were laid out by Ms. Visyak followed by the grasshoppers that sent up waves of formaldehyde scent into Dean’s nose, which made him feel a little queasy.

“Okay!” Ms. Visyak said, clapping her hands together. “Pull out your diagrams of the grasshopper I gave you yesterday to study pre-dissection.”

Dean pulled the diagram out of his bag and put it between him and Castiel to share.

“I want you to locate and remove the stomach, a portion of the oviduct, and brain and I will grant extra credit for anyone who is able to locate and remove the heart. Now, dig in!”

Dean stood there with scalpel in hand and swallowed. Castiel reached over and took the scalpel gently from Dean’s death grip. “I’ve got this, Dean.”

Dean nodded rapidly as a reply. Not only did grasshoppers give him the heebie-jeebies but tearing into one made him feel a lot like throwing up. He watched as Castiel leaned over the carcass and began working with steady ease. Within a few minutes, Castiel had the grasshopper open and what Dean could only assume were the parts Ms. Visyak was asking for were laying neatly in various points on the tray with small pins holding them in place.

Castiel looked over to Dean who was looking a little green. “You okay?”

Dean nodded rapidly and Castiel chuckled under his breath. He picked up the tweezers and pointed to the dissected pieces, “Stomach.” Castiel informed Dean who nodded rapidly that he understood. Castiel continued, “The oviduct and brain.”

Dean nodded again. “Gotcha.”

“So boys, finished already?” Ms. Visyak asked smiling down at them.

“Yes, Dr. Visyak.” Castiel replied.

Ms. Visyak smiled wider, “Well then, let’s see what you’ve got for me.” She looked at the tray and a trace of wonder washed over her face. “Who did the dissection?”

“I did.” Castiel answered.

Ms. Visyak looked up to Castiel, the wonder on her face deepening. “This is very neat work, Castiel. Is this your first dissection?”

“No ma'am.” Castiel responded and Ms. Visyak nodded. “It’s my second.” He added.

Ms. Visyak’s eyes went wide. “You’re kidding me.”

Castiel shook his head. “No, ma'am.”

Ms. Visyak stared at Castiel for a long moment and Dean watched the interaction curiously. She returned her eyes back down to the tray. “I’m frankly astounded. Please Castiel, tell me what I’m looking at.”

Castiel turned his attention to the tray. “You’re looking at the dissected parts you asked for. Except, of course, the heart. I’m sure it was meant as a trick request since grasshoppers don’t have a single heart but instead several pumping chambers. I removed the whole line including the arterial that connect them.”

Dean shot a wide eyed look between Castiel and Ms. Visyak. The look on her face was pure delight.

“You are correct, Castiel. Amazing.” She said to him.

“Thank you, Dr. Visyak.” Castiel replied without an ounce of pride or arrogance. Instead it was shy and sincere.

As she turned to walk to the next desk, she said, “If you don’t become a doctor, Mr. Novak, I’ll be sorely disappointed.”

“A surgeon.” Castiel corrected her and she looked up from another tray.

Her eyes were warm. “Well, you certainly have the skill.” She smiled again and then went back to observing the tray before she asked the other students questions.

Castiel turned to Dean who was staring at him with bewildered eyes. It made Castiel feel self-conscious and he blushed as he sat down. Dean sat down as well but continued to cast glances at Castiel like he was trying to figure him out all over again. It made Castiel worry but the worry didn’t stay when, at the end of the day, Castiel found himself once again at the Winchester’s residence at Dean’s suggestion.

 

~*~

Dean laid across his bed on his stomach with his knees bent, moving his feet in time to Led Zeppelin’s _Kashmir_ playing over his boom box. The suitcase sized stereo system vibrated the floor which hummed over the floorboards. Castiel sat on the bed as well but cross-legged with his back against the headboard. Both of them were lost in the music, the pencils they had been using to make notes in their copies of _The Prophet_ were reallocated to the task of drumming.

Dean had insisted they listen to Zeppelin after their conversation in Biology once they got home and _Ramble On_ had turned into Castiel explaining the song and the story behind the lyrics. Castiel promised Dean he was bringing him his copies of Tolkien’s work and, in no uncertain terms, Dean _was_ going to read them. Dean had grumbled, of course, but merely the fact the gods of Blues and Rock had seen Tolkien’s work awesome enough to lyric it was all the incentive Dean needed. Well, that and the fact that Cas spoke about the author with such passion. It got Dean excited to read it, which was no small feat.

Now, they sat lost in the music. Neither of them speaking or aware of where they were until _Stairway to Heaven_ began. Castiel lifted his head from the headboard and said, “My sister Anna said this was my mother’s favorite song and that while she was pregnant with me, she would play this song over and over. She continued to do so after I was born. Once Gabriel had asked her why she played it all the time. Her response was, ‘B _ecause Castiel loves it as much as I do._ ’ and she was right.”

Dean listened and then added, “It was one of my mom’s favorites too but she would sing ' _Hey Jude_ ’ to me when I was upset or I was having a hard time going to sleep. She told me it was a song about hope.” A sadness clouded over Dean’s eyes.

“Well, she was right.” Castiel said and when Dean looked over to him, Castiel continued, “The song _is_ about hope.”

Dean sat up quickly and lifted himself from the bed. “Yeah, well. A lot of good it did her.” Dean walked over to the stereo and hit the eject button. Castiel watched him as he removed the cassette tape roughly and tossed it into the box to join the others. Concerned, Castiel stood up and joined Dean at the Stereo. Dean’s fingers were moving over the cassettes looking for another to replace the one he had removed when Castiel reached out slowly and took Dean’s hand into his. He had been sure it would have been snatched away given what had happened between them earlier that day but his hand never moved.

Instead, Dean shot a look towards the door making sure they were still alone and turned back to Castiel. Rather than looking at Castiel’s face, Dean looked to where their hands were connected still resting on the cassette box. Dean turned his hand and enclosed his fingers over Castiel’s. He picked up the other boy’s hand, bringing it towards himself and clasped his other hand over it. Still looking at where he now held Castiel’s hand tucked against his chest, his thumbs began to caress over Castiel’s knuckles. Castiel’s heart began to quicken at the tenderness and his thoughts turned to the remembrance of lips, tongues and touches. Dean‘s voice pulled him back to the here and now.

“What’s going on here, Cas?” Dean’s voice was small and trembled over Cas’s name. Dean finally looked up at Castiel, who shook his head in response. He knew what Dean was asking about but he was still trying to figure it out himself.

“We are supposed to be studying.” he replied instead of addressing the actual intended question.

Dean chuckled and shook his head as he looked down to their hands again. “Not what I meant, man.”

Dean removed one hand from Castiel’s, never letting go with the other. Dean moved the small distance to the door and Castiel allowed himself to be guided. Dean peeked out of the entryway and, seeing there was no one in the immediate area to question his actions, Dean closed the door and locked it. Castiel’s mind started to race around the edges of Dean’s intentions when Dean grabbed another cassette from the box and threw it into the tape deck. He pressed the play button and sounds of Free’s _Fire and Water_ began filling the air.

Dean turned back to Castiel and in a lower voice than the music asked, “What’s going on with, you know- _us_?”

Castiel shook his head again and answered with the only thing he was sure of, “I honestly don’t know, Dean.”

Dean nodded feeling relieved that Castiel had as little a handle on what was going on here as he did and that could only mean this was just as new to Castiel as it was to him. There was a sense of safety in that knowledge.

Dean nodded and after a glance down to Castiel’s hand he was still holding asked apprehensively, “What do you wanna do about it?”

Castiel noted the tone of shame and insecurity, which was not at all what Castiel was feeling. Instead, he was feeling off balanced by his body and mind’s revelations in response to Dean, but he didn’t feel shame or insecure about how he felt. Nor did he feel that way about what had happened between them that morning. He admittedly felt a little hurt Dean did feel shame but he understood too. Being attracted to someone of the same sex was seen, at worse, as disgusting. But typical to Castiel’s nature and, also in part to his exposure to a world outside of small towns or this Country for that matter, he really didn’t give a damn what others thought. He rarely lived according to his father’s will, let alone the standards of society. Anna had once teasingly said he had hedonist tendencies and well, she hadn’t been wrong really.

“Cas?” Dean saying his name pulled Castiel from his thoughts once again. He noted the tightness of Dean’s brow and the concern in his green eyes. Dean’s thumb had stopped rubbing against Castiel’s hand and his body language showed every sign of someone who was about to bolt from the room. Dean had obviously taken Castiel’s silence as a negative.

Castiel leaned in and kissed the next words Dean were about to say away. It was a chaste kiss. Just enough to communicate that Castiel was still with him and that the silence was not what Dean feared it had been. When Castiel pulled away, a small, pleased smile was on his lips. Dean licked his own as if chasing the sensation Castiel’s lips had left. Castiel resisted the urge to lean in for another that would surely have turned into way more of the same from that morning. From the look in Dean’s eyes, it’s what he wanted too but right now what they needed were words. Castiel pulled Dean by the hand he still clung to towards the window that was on the furthest wall. This was not a discussion to have near the door where they might be overheard.

“Dean, I don’t know what this is. I- I’m, for the lack of a better word, confused.”

Dean nodded in agreement as relief shifted over his features and relaxed the set of his shoulders. “But- I’m not afraid of it.” Castiel added.

“No one can know.” Dean said quickly as if the words were being held under a pressure cooker and Castiel’s being 100% okay with all of it popped the lid. The weight of panic set into Dean’s features, erasing the calm.

“Dean, I know and I agree.” Castiel stepped closer closing any space that had been between them and peered into Dean’s eyes, searching.

Dean swallowed and once again his tongue slid against this lips, wetting them. “I want to- I want-” Dean said but couldn’t find the words so he skipped over them when Castiel nodded to him showing he understood what Dean was trying to say without actually hearing it. “But _we_ \- no _one_ can- _fuck_.” Dean closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. As he exhaled, his body started to shake from all the uncertainty. His eyes fluttered open again and his eyes latched onto Castiel’s which were now wide with concern.

“I like you, Cas. I _really_ like you.” Dean tilted his head and leaned in, letting his lips hover just above Castiel’s

“I really like you too, Dean.” Castiel said just loud enough for Dean to hear, his breath hot against Dean’s mouth and face. Castiel closed the increments of distance between their mouths in a deep kiss which Dean moaned into as he brought his hands up to Castiel’s waist. His thumbs traced circles over Castiel’s hip bones and Castiel’s hand snaked up Dean’s back. It came to rest at the nape of Dean’s neck, fingers threading through hair as Castiel pushed Dean’s head tighter into his so that no distance could be between them. Dean’s hands moved from Castiel’s waist and his fingers began tugging at the hem of his shirt. His hands spread out over Castiel’s flesh and Castiel moaned into Dean’s mouth. Castiel gained some awareness when his clothed erection slid against Dean’s.

Unwillingly, he pulled his head from Dean’s. “We need to stop.”

Dean looked down at him with a frown and Castiel instantly felt guilty. “Not because I don’t want to do this but we need to complete our homework.”

“Homework over this?” A wicked smile played across Dean’s mouth as he rubbed his clothed cock against Castiel’s again. Castiel’s eyes closed against the pressure and he growled before replying, “Unfortunately, yes.”

At some point during the kiss, Dean’s hands had made a further journey under Castiel’s shirt and the pad of his thumbs were tracing over Castiel hardening nipples. After a moment more of enjoying the sensation, Castiel began the near impossible task of untangling himself from Dean’s grasp.

“Dean.” Castiel warned.

“Cas.” Dean replied attempting to thwart Castiel’s efforts to put distance between them. “Just one more minute? Make that five more minutes.”

Castiel decided logic was the best remedy and replied, “Dean, your father will be home anytime now.”

Dean made a fake pout but let Castiel go. “Fine.”

“You _will_ survive.” Castiel said with mock sympathetic tone.

“Yeah…well, tell that to my balls.” Dean replied while sitting on his bed easily and adjusting his erection.

Castiel laughed as he picked up and threw the book at Dean who caught it before it hit his chest. Once they were both settled back down to their assignment, Castiel decided to broach another topic of the day. “So, Crowley?”

Dean glanced up from his book and started to look nervous again. “I’d rather do homework.”

“Well, it’s either you tell me or I hunt him down over the weekend and find out from him myself. It’s entirely up to you.” Castiel stated without looking up.

Dean’s brow tightened. “That’s not something to joke about, Cas.”

“Who said I was joking?” Castiel responded evenly.

Dean slammed his book closed loudly and Castiel glanced up with an eyebrow raised. Dean got up from the bed and ran a hand through his hair and toyed with his ear showing his unease.

Castiel closed his own book quietly but remained sitting. “What is it, Dean?”

“If I tell you, you have to promise you’ll not engage the asshole.” Dean responded.

Castiel thought about it a moment and then answered, “I will not confront him unless it is to defend you or our friends.”

Dean stared at him as if weighing whether that was a good enough promise and then sat back down on the bed again. “Crowley needs another stooge and an informant. He figures my dad being a cop makes me the perfect choice.”

“Kind of big top for something like pot selling, don’t you think?” Castiel asked.

“He’s not just selling pot, it’s the hard shit and he’s racketeering.”

“With teenagers?” Castiel asked in disbelief.

Dean shook his head. “No, with adults. Crowley is small fish compared to his brother, Alistair. Alistair lives in Chicago but he works through Crowley here. I’ve heard people call Crowley ‘The _Arm of Al_ ’. From what I understand, Alistair actually ganks people. He doesn’t just maim. He is one bad dude.”

“So I’m going to ask the obvious, why have you not told your father?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked near panic now, “I can’t do that.”

Castiel’s brow tightened. “Why not?”

Dean’s eyes suddenly looked tired and his shoulders seemed to have the weight of the world pushing down on them. “Crowley threatened my dad’s life, said if he couldn’t keep an eye on the cop who has been busting all his business partners and stooges then he was going to have to do something permanent about it.”

“I don’t take Crowley as utterly stupid.” Castiel stated with the shake of his head.

“What do you mean?” Dean inquired.

“To kill a cop would bring more attention to his operation, such as it is. It’s likely his threats are empty.” Castiel answered.

“Yeah. Well, either way I’m going to have to give an answer because he’s not gonna quit cramming threats up my ass till I do.” Dean said while opening his book again. “Now can we get off this subject?” Castiel sighed and relented.

“Just one more thing.” Castiel stated and Dean glanced up at him with a look that showed any further conversation about Crowley might get Castiel punched in the face. “The party, Dean. When and where?”

Dean’s expressions relaxed. “Saturday night at the Caves. Not exactly sure how I’m going to get outta the house though. Dad is real picky about who I hang out with. I can’t stay at Ash’s.”

“Spend the weekend with me.” Castiel offered before he realized what he was saying.

Dean looked at him with his mouth gaped open.

“What? Not like we’re not friends. Correct?” Castiel asked with concern etching his brow.

“What? No- I mean we’re friends. I just got the feeling you were in no rush to invite me over.”

Noticing the slight of hurt in Dean‘s voice, Castiel explained, “It was not personal, Dean. My family is- difficult and obtrusive. If Michael was home, I wouldn’t have offered. He belittles anyone brave enough to call me their friend. Not the main reason I have no friends but he sure works hard to secure the fact. No one is good enough.”

“It’s really that bad?” Dean asked turning his attention back to the book.

Castiel nodded, looking down to his own book and turning a page as he wrote something down on their worksheet. “I should probably fill you in on what to expect in regards to Gabriel and Anna.” Castiel placed an index finger on a spot in the text, saving his place when he glanced up at Dean.

Dean was looking at him and nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

“First, Gabriel is a great brother. He has been there for me during very hard times but he is also a bit of a dick. Not that I think he does it on purpose. He means well but he can be rather nosey and he thinks his practical jokes are hilarious when he is actually bordering on being a bully. Oh, and don’t let him smell fear. It will just make things worse for you.”

Dean nodded looking a little intimidated already. “And Anna?”

“Anna.” Castiel said fondly and smiled. “She is smart. Smarter than me, I think. She appears shy but she is popular already at school and it being the second day she has been there proves my point. She is an artist and a writer but she wants to eventually become a psychologist. She is rather passionate about people.”

“Any negatives I should watch out for?” Dean asked.

“Just one. She is fiercely protective of family, particularly Gabriel and me. While she is younger than Gabriel, she is the toughest out of the three of us. She simply doesn’t take shit from anyone.” Castiel informed and, as if trying to explain her disposition, he added, “She’s a redhead through and through.”

Dean smiled, “I love redheads.”

Castiel’s eyes squinted in annoyance and Dean laughed.

“I don’t think that’s funny, Dean.” Castiel said looking everywhere but at Dean.

“Shit, Cas. Are you jealous?” Dean asked through an astonished expression at the end of a smile.

“Shut up, Dean. Let’s just get back to this.”

Dean was still smiling when a knock sounded on his door and soon after the door knob began to move. “Dean?” John’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Dean moved quickly to unlock it and when he opened the door, he was met with a questioning look bordering on annoyance. “Why was the door locked, son?”

“Sorry, Dad. We were doing homework.” Dean answered doing his best to show no guilt.

John looked past Dean to Castiel seated on the bed. John took in the sight of books and papers scattered over the bed’s surface and, as if satisfied that nothing other than what Dean said was going on, John nodded. “Well, we keep the doors open and unlocked. Understand?”

Dean nodded. “Okay, Dad. Sorry.”

John looked over to Castiel again, “Hey, Castiel.”

“Hello.” Castiel said back with a small wave and looked back down at his books as if reading something of particular importance.

John turned his attention back to Dean, “I brought supper so you boys come down and get some. It’s pizza and your brother is already into it so you know what that means.”

“Yeah, okay Dad. Thanks.” Dean responded and John turned to head back down the stairs.

“Come on, Cas. We better get downstairs. My brother looks small but he can eat a whole pizza to himself.”

 

~*~

Gabriel’s mouth was in perfect rendition of Edvard Munch’s ‘ _The Scream_ ’.

“You can shut your fly trap any day now.” Castiel said with the roll of his eyes.

“I’m sorry but my little brother just had his first hot and heavy guy-on-guy experience, in the school restroom of all places, and you expect me to act like you simply baked cookies? I mean that’s taking ’ _Smoking in the Boy’s Room_ ’ to a whole new level!” Gabriel said defensively.

“Gabriel. Cool it.” Anna said. She took a drag from her cigarette. She blew out the smoke and added, “He is telling us this because he is comfortable with us and also because he is a little off balanced by it. He needs our support, not our shock or teasing.”

“I’m right here.” Castiel said, waving at them. He hated Anna’s psychoanalyzing but she was right on the money and it did make Gabriel’s mouth close, at least.

Anna looked back to Castiel. “It’s called bisexuality and despite what homophobic people spout, it’s perfectly normal. And if I can be completely honest, I knew that about you already.”

“How? I’m just finding out!” Castiel asked, his mouth on the verge of doing his own rendition of ‘ _The Scream_ ’.

“You’re a Novak.” Anna answered like it would explain everything and took another drag.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Castiel asked, his brow tightening. Curiosity was nipping at his heels though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Anna shrugged, “I’m bisexual, in case you haven’t figured that out yet. Gabriel is bi-curious. I keep waiting for him to take the plunge.”

“Hey!” Gabriel exclaimed. “I like to have a good time. That translates to ‘ _I’m not opposed to kielbasa in my bed but the idea of it near any of my orifices is not on the menu’_.” Gabriel corrected but grimaced when it hit him how pun-filled what he said was.

Anna laughed. “Yeah. Okay, Queen of De’ Nile.”

Castiel began laughing as well. Gabriel looked at him through squinted eyes and pursed lips. “Laugh it up, fuzz ball.” Gabriel said to his brother and then smiled despite himself. “You’re both shitheads and I’m not in _denial_.”

“Whatever.” Anna said as she shrugged. She took another drag on the last inch of her cigarette and put it out in the ashtray cradled in her other hand.

“Michael’s straight.” Castiel pointed out.

“Don’t let me get started on Michael. We all know he lives to please Father. Even if he was as gay as Liberace, he would bang chicks just to escape being the _disappointment_.”

Gabriel nodded. “I think Luci’s excommunication from the family made Michael’s daddy issues worse.”

Anna frowned and Castiel lowered his head to look at his hands. They rarely mentioned Luci. Castiel was only three when their oldest brother fell from their father’s grace. Luci had been prepped to take over the company from the time he was fifteen. Their brother had proven to be a brilliant and shrewd business man and their father doted on him as if his son had hung the Heavens. That is, until they started to disagree. Father never valued the opinions of others or even more so, he deplored independent thinking. What their father wanted from everyone was total unquestioning obedience. At first, the disagreements were small but then they grew to the point that the house was filled with loud voices and slamming doors every day. Things became even worse when Michael began to show talent and interest in the business but Michael had something that Luci didn’t; the willingness to be completely obedient to their father. Whatever was requested, Michael did and it wasn’t long before their father handed most of the responsibilities that were once Luci’s to Michael.

What made the contention worse was that Michael and Luci had been close; inseparable, in fact. While Luci never out-and-out fought with Michael, he did try to turn Michael against the family patriarch. Luci wanted to start his own company to rival their father’s and he wanted Michael to join him- to stand beside him.

Of course, Michael had refused and went to their father telling him what Luci had up his sleeves. The night that their father confronted Luci had ended in a physical altercation. At some point during it, their father had fallen, striking his head on the kitchen counter and had been knocked unconscious.

Their mother had thrown herself into the thick of it to cover her husband with her own body.

_“Leave, Luci! Please, just leave!” She had shouted at him._

_“Mother?” Luci had pleaded, tears in his eyes._

_“Leave!” she screamed in anger and fear._

 

Luci did leave, and no one had seen or heard from him since. Three years later, their mother had, by all appearances, abandoned the family. Michael was officially made their father’s partner when he turned twenty one and Luci’s trust fund was extracted and divided between the three remaining siblings on top of their already hefty dividends. In word, financially and on paper, Luci had been erased from the family and while they rarely mentioned him among each other, they knew never to utter the name around Michael or Father.

Gabriel was the next to speak bringing all their minds back to the present. “So, why exactly are you telling us your raunchy boy’s room tale, little bro?”

“I have invited Dean over for the weekend.” Castiel answered quickly.

The words came so fast and run together that Anna had to ask him to repeat himself. “What was that, Castiel? Seems you got stuck on fast forward.”

Castiel rolled his eyes again and sighed. He knew there would be no end to the teasing. “I _said_ , I invited Dean over for the weekend.”

Anna’s eyebrows raised almost to her hairline and to Gabriel’s credit, he smirked but no teasing ensued. Anna added, “You know he is more than welcome, Castiel. I would like to meet the guy who turned my brother’s gay gene on.”

“Yeah, I second that!” Gabriel said but then, as if remembering something extremely important, Gabriel sat up straight and said excitedly, “I meant to tell you Cassie but, there’s a party this Saturday. My new doobie brother is hosting it and we’re all invited.”

“Ash? Yeah, I know.” Castiel said.

“Wait. How do you know Ash?” Gabriel asked impressed.

“He happens to be a good friend of Dean’s. Ash told Dean he knew my brother. I just connected the obvious dots.” Castiel said.

“So your guy’s coming? Is he, like, cool with extracurricular activities if you catch my drift?” Gabriel said smiling. He reminded Castiel of another person in that moment- Sam, with his hyper fidgeting and wide eyes.

“Yes. Why?” Castiel’s brow furrowed.

“Well, his Dad _is_ a cop!” Gabriel answered.

“Which is why he’s staying here. His father would not approve and seems very influential on what friends Dean is allowed to keep.” Castiel said, choosing his words carefully. He didn’t want to disrespect Dean’s father. John, and Missouri for that matter, had shown Castiel a kindness no one outside of Anna and Gabriel had shown him in a very long time.

Castiel reiterated, “He‘s overprotective.”

Anna shrugged, “Reasonable, given his job.”

“So what made _you_ so special, pipsqueak?” Gabriel joked but he was very curious to know.

“Dean hasn’t asked yet but will tonight. I’m actually expecting a call any minute.” At that moment the phone rang.

“Well, shit. How’s that for timing?” Gabriel joked with a brow raised.

Castiel got up from the couch and answered the phone. After a few moments of Castiel’s intermediate speaking and asking questions, he hung up.

He walked back into the room as Anna was lighting another cig. “Seems we’ll be having two guests.” Castiel informed but with a confused countenance.

“Two?” Anna asked as she blew out smoke.

“Dean _and_ his brother.” Castiel said looking like the greatest mystery of life had been placed before him to solve.

“You’re fucking kidding? What the hell did you do, Cassie, for an overprotective cop to trust you with _both_ of his kids?” Gabriel asked as a small smile was quirking up the edge of one side of his mouth.

“I- I don’t know.” Castiel said as he plopped himself onto the couch. It took an hour for the look to ease from his face and even then, Castiel went to bed with his mind searching for ‘ _why_ ’ repeatedly till he fell asleep to the drone of it.

 


	3. December 16, 1988 (Friday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Playful kisses turned into a heavy petting and hums into moans rather quickly. Gabriel made the mistake of looking into his rear view again which resulted in Castiel and Dean being jerked away from each other as the car shifted violently right and then left before returning center. Dean and Castiel both shot Gabriel pissed stares.
> 
> “What the hell, Gabe?!" Castiel almost shouted.
> 
> Gabriel turned the radio down and answered, “You two fuckers are defeating my defrost, man, with your loud face eating and heavy breathing." Gabriel would have made suggestive arm and hand movements if one hand was not on the wheel- the other arm pinned down by Sam’s head. Sam had been sleeping against the window but when Gabriel shimmied the car, Sam’s head had shifted as well and came to rest on Gabriel’s shoulder. He knew he could have moved him but he just didn’t have the heart to. “Cut the dick groping contest until we get to the house. I mean, look at poor Anna, she’s traumatized."
> 
> Dean and Castiel’s eyes journeyed to Anna, expecting to see a stare much like a deer looking into head lights but instead, she appeared to have already put her cigarette out and fallen asleep with her head resting on the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy Chapter three! See you Sunday! :)

##  December 16, 1988 ( _Friday_ )

 

  _He finds himself standing at the cliff’s edge. Clouds of grey and black billowing above him as they rushed to what could only be a stormy conclusion. Low rumbles and small flashes followed by clashes accenting the ominous warnings._

_He knows he’s been here before, but he doesn’t remember when. He’s staring out over a vast living sea that only ends at the horizon. It breeches at the rocks below, punching them and rumbling the ground in vibrations with each strike of waves. Wind from the sea sweeps cool and moist over him. He wonders why he’s in this place. What was it that brought him here? He can’t shake the feeling that this is a stage and the atmosphere is revolving around a central theme. This stage is telling a story- giving him a message meant only for him._

_He watches the sea ebb then flow and he wishes he knew why the sea’s semblance of breathing makes him feel sad. The roar from the waves sounding like a million voices calling out, reaching, beseeching to him warnings but he can’t discern what the voices are trying to tell him._

_From behind him, warmth begins to snake its way over his sea chilled flesh. For a moment he conceives that the sun is rising behind him until the warmth turns to red hot heat that rapidly intensifies, becoming unbearable. It forces him to turn around, the heat now ripping into his face. It stings his eyes against which he blinks rapidly as the elemental waves wash over him. They evaporate any moisture from them and he squints against the burn. Horror-struck, he watches as flames reach towards the sky in a wall of bright reds, yellows, whites and even blues. He stares, his heart pounding against his rib cage. He realizes the flames are burning their way in his direction. Struck still, he sees within the flames creatures akin to dragons- great demons. They roar, growl, hiss, and howl as they move disjointedly forward. Wings of reptilian flesh and flame move, fanning the wall of surrounding flames even quicker to their destination- him. These dragons of fire- their faces contorted in grimaces, their limbs twisted- ready to claw and rip him apart. Their sharp teeth dripping with boiling blood and cooked flesh. The all too familiar rancid scent of burning and rotting meat starts to invade his nose, his mouth and into his lungs. The stench leaving his insides screaming to vomit. He remembers this. With each inhale, his insides are burning as smoke and ash enter him._

_The beasts are getting closer and his flesh begins to boil and sizzle. Pain so intense the scream from within gets choked on and forgotten. His attention is drawn away when he hears a woman weeping, her sobs growing louder and quickly become screams. He knows the woman crying, she is from a distant memory he can never forget. His mother burning- screaming- dying._

_Mom!” He shouts towards the flames, his voice weak and raspy. “Mom! I'll save you! Please, reach out Mom! Just reach out!” A woman's hand and arm stretches out from the flames. It’s black, thin and gnarled. He reaches out towards it, forgetting the flames and dragons. His hand burns and he pulls it to himself. Panic rises and he reaches out again, barely touching her fingers when the arm and the body it's attached to falls into a pillar of ash and dust. His hand catches aflame so he shakes it and pulls it into him, putting the fire out. He crumbles into himself against the searing pain and his feelings of failure and worthlessness at his defeat in saving her._

_After a blood curdling last wail her spirit is gone and he is facing death alone. He turns back to the sea and there’s a reprieve- a respite from the guilt and physical pain- from the burning in his lungs and of his flesh, from the ash and heat. He knows he must jump or be consumed and spat out as embers- soul extinguished. His chest is heaving as his lungs scramble for air but there is none left as it is taken from him to be fed to the flaming dragons- his existence the fuel they need to continue consuming. He can hear their bestial laughter and he knows, without looking, that they are almost upon him._

_He wants to see his brother one more time and to call out to his father to save him, but he’s alone. Even God has abandoned him in this place. He closes his eyes and stretching his blackened arms out he accepts his only real choice- surrendering. He leans forward and as his feet leave solid ground, he thinks that falling doesn’t feel at all like he thought it would. He thought he would feel light, free and like he had taken flight but instead he realizes the weight. This is not just the weight of body but a heaviness of soul- a burden._

_His soul, like lead, falls faster than his body and it pulls while the wind from his descent peels at the burnt and ruined flesh. As his soul makes the last tug to be freed from his body’s core, he wishes there had been another choice, that there had been another way, but this was all there ever really was for him. Purgatory. Maybe this is what they call destiny?_

_As he releases his hold on life and embraces the air around him, spirit freed, he wonders what could have been and he mourns what will never be. He knows that the Abyss of Desolation is below him now instead of the sea, and he is content with the knowledge he will never know peace. Not because he truly wants this- to be desolate. No, it’s because he belongs there. It was made just for someone like him. Hopeless, faithless, a vagabond among the lost._

_The Failure and the Worthless._

_He is just entering the darkness when he feels solid arms around him and he sighs. These arms are a soothing balm around an ache of loneliness and the exhaustion of existing. For a moment he wonders if Death himself has gathered him up to put a personal touch on his journey into the abyss. That thought is abandoned when he sees flashes of white wings as they push down around him for a moment then pull away out of view in the sequence of flight. The sound they’re making reminds him of flags dancing while latched to poles on a windy day. This sound is soothing and he wants to turn his head to see who or what has ahold of him. He looks down and sees the arms of a man wrapped around his chest and hands gripping him tightly._

_His mother always said 'Angels are watching over you.' but he felt his stain which rendered him sin and Angels were only for those of worth and for the Righteous. This couldn’t be an Angel, could it? Looking further down he sees the abyss getting further away. The cliffs are still smoldering with dragons and flame. Dean feels relief and unworthiness as he realizes they are ascending rather than descending. He allows his weary head to lay back against the weight and warmth surrounding him. The Angel holding onto him moves his head down beside Dean’s, his chin resting on Dean’s shoulder, a display of intimacy and familiarity. The Angel then speaks, his mouth close to Dean’s ear, breathing hot puffs against Dean’s frozen soul. He hears as well as feels the words, “I have you Dean. You are safe now. I will never let you go.”_

_Dean knows he recognizes the voice, though this is a deeper and rougher version. He searches for the name and a moment later he remembers. He says the name out loud._

_“Cas.”_

Dean sat straight up in his bed. His breathing heavy and the remaining sensations of arms around him lasting much longer than they should have. The nightmare he had been having since the night his mother died was always the same except, this time instead of his soul falling into the abyss, someone had saved him. That someone had sounded very much like Castiel and his mind was still echoing his name. Dean rubbed his face and realized it was soaking in sweat. He maneuvered his legs over the side of the bed, taking a few more shuddering breaths until they became steady. His mind grasped at fragments of the waking world trying to remember where he was and what day it was.

_‘I'm in my bedroom and it’s Friday.’_

With a relief akin to the one he felt when the Angel had saved him, Dean remembered that today was the day he and Sam would be going to Castiel's after school. He stood and walked over to his alarm clock before it could go off on its own and turned it off. He opened his dresser through eyes that still felt the sting of heat, smoke and ash. To his relief, as he yawned and blinked, moisture welled up and soothed them. He pulled out a pair of dark jeans and opened the second drawer from which he grabbed a long sleeve white shirt and one of his favorite band t-shirts- a black Metallica shirt with the emblem of their album _‘Master of Puppets’_ on the front. White crosses decorated a field, acting as marionettes to the puppeteer whose fingers worked over attached strings. Without realizing it at first, he had picked the shirt that seemed to reflect some of his feelings from his nightmare. Was his whole life being played from cradle to the grave by this puppeteer people called God? Was he just simply a lifeless, hollow thing- _a toy_ \- when it came down to it?

He realized he was staring at himself in the mirror and tore his eyes from his reflection. He crossed the room, and grabbing a cassette to put into his player, he contemplated that if there was a God and that was how the dude ran things, then the puppeteer for the marionette was called a _manipulator_ for a reason cause the name fit pretty fucking well.

Dean pushed the play button and turned the volume all the way up. He smirked when _Leaper Messiah_ began to light the room up with energy he needed to feel right now. It was just him and Sam in the house at the moment since his dad was called in around 5am for a briefing of some sort. It fell on Missouri to pick them up in an hour to get them to school. He was just about to head to the shower when the door swung open and Sam bounded into the room tossing a duffle bag that was almost as big as his brother, onto the floor.

“This is going to be the best Christmas in fuckin’ ever!” Sam yelled happily over the music.

Dean reached out and turned the volume down reluctantly. “How’d you know? You’re psychic now?” Dean teased.

“Shut up! No, I just feel it. Don’t you?” Sam asked. He sat on his brother's bed and acted busy tracing lines of the decor on Dean’s sheet with a finger. “I mean, we get to stay at Cas’- _all weekend_! Dad never lets us stay over anywhere.”

Dean nodded shortly going back to the dresser to get some boxers. “Well, Missouri’s going to have a go at Cas’ house first. Dad told her if she picked up anything fishy that we had to bail. So, don’t get your hopes up, Sammy.” Dean said as he shut his drawer. He turned to his brother who had a pout coming on.

“You think she’ll know about the party?” Sam asked.

“Don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.” Dean said as he rubbed Sammy’s head and made his way towards his door. “Headin’ to the shower.”

 

~*~

The day went by quickly, which was a relief to Dean. He was nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement but was weary of letting himself get attached to the idea. Castiel’s family still had to pass Missouri’s walkthrough and Dean had long since abandoned the notion that her psychic crap wasn’t real. Missouri was really good.

Dean looked over to Castiel who was sitting beside him in the backseat. It had become their established seating arrangement now. This morning, when Missouri had picked them up, Sam had taken the front seat without asking Dean if that was what he wanted. Dean didn’t protest the arrangement either when usually he would be trying to beat his brother for the rights as co-pilot.

Castiel didn’t look at Dean even though he knew Dean was staring. Instead, he placed his hand that had been resting in his lap onto the seat between them. A thrill went through him as Dean interpreted him correctly and put his jacket between them over Castiel’s hand. A few moments later, Dean pretended to be adjusting when he slid his hand underneath and took a hold of his. Castiel moved his hand into a position so that he could entwine their fingers, the shyness and the intimacy made Castiel’s pulse quicken. When he finally glanced to Dean, he found the other boy smiling at him which he returned, their gazes only coming to a halt when Missouri cleared her throat and made the turn onto Castiel’s driveway.

They untangled their hands but not before Castiel gave Dean’s a small squeeze of reassurance. He knew Dean was nervous about Missouri’s walkthrough, but he didn’t think they had anything to worry about since he was still on the fence in believing that Missouri had any real psychic abilities. Just because she solved cases wasn’t proof enough for him to go ahead and come around as a true believer. The fact she had been able to solve cases only told him she was a keen observer and made connections with facts that at first appeared abstract or unrelated.

They exited the car but Sam and Dean didn’t bother to get their bags. Instead, they let Castiel lead them to the front door. As soon as they reached the covered porch, Missouri paused, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. With her eyes still closed she called out, “Don’t be rude, Gabriel. If you’re gonna stare, you might as well open the door for your guests.”

Castiel turned to her as he heard the door click and watched it open to reveal Gabriel as Missouri had known it would be. Castiel’s eyes went wide in surprise. ' _Perhaps she had seen someone peeking through the blinds? How would she know it was Gabriel and not Anna?'_

Gabriel stood there with a whimsical look on his face, “How did you know?” he asked before taking a bite out of his Babe Ruth.

Missouri didn’t bother answering his question. Instead she gave him an unamused roll of her eyes and a sarcastic tilt of her head. She offered a question of her own, “You gonna invite us in or leave us standing out here in the cold?”

Gabriel looked penitent, “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” and moved out of the doorway to let them through. He continued to watch as everyone filed in and closed the door behind them. They were standing in the foyer while Missouri was looking around it, scanning the walls, floor, staircase and everything in between. After a moment she looked at the group watching her. She clicked her tongue and shook her head. “This isn’t a three ring circus act boys. Go about your business and leave me to mine.”

No one moved so she put on her ‘ _Momma Missouri’_ face and added, “Get!” as she motioned her hands to shoo them away. She said it without any anger and a smile fought to show which made her lips twitch. The group did disperse then and they retreated towards what she knew was the living room. Once they were gone, she set to the task of mentally creating a ring of white light around her before reaching out to touch the air with her energy.

There were old energies mixed with the new here, which she knew would be the case since the home was older. No matter how many times you remodeled a home, old energies still remained. The same was true if the home was completely uprooted and the soil turned up under for hundreds of years. Energy always lingers.

She set to the task of moving the old to the side and grasping at the newer ones. Once the energies were separated, she felt a distinct energy reach out to her from somewhere beyond the veil and gently tug at her but it was too early to tell if this was a spirit or just energy itself. Sometimes it took a minute to decide which was which since all energy vibrated at different frequencies and had intelligence. Immediately though, she could feel this one was a polar positive which meant she wouldn’t be thrown against a wall any time soon, so she allowed it to pull her rather than blocking it out. It led her to the stairs and as she began to climb them, she placed her hand on the banister, her fingers trailing from banister to railing. She could feel residual energy from every person who had touched it and she let the waves pass over her as she categorize each thought and event.

When she finally opened her eyes, she found herself standing in what she knew to be the young girl Anna’s room. She felt the presence of the energy that had led her near a chifforobe. It was a beautifully elaborate piece of furniture made of redwood and inset with what she knew would be cedar if she opened it. She walked towards it and as she got closer, she could finally make out that the energy was indeed once human- a female.

“What is it you’re trying to show me, honey?” Missouri said out loud into the empty room, her voice caring and concerned. Her brow knitted together as she tried to listen but the energy was either too weak or too new outside its body to communicate effectively, so she put a hand on the chifforobe hoping it would show her what the energy was wanting her to know but couldn’t say.

Missouri closed her eyes again and images immediately began to flash behind her lids.

A mother giving birth.

A father telling a son he was dead to him.

The woman whom she had seen given birth, crying.

A man with his fingers around the mother’s throat.

An image of a key taped under the bottom edge of the chifforobe.

Then there was nothing more.

Without opening her eyes, she bent over and trailed her fingers under the bottom and found the key right where she had seen it in the vision.

“Excuse me. Can I help you?” Came a young woman’s voice.

Missouri straightened and turned. Instead of giving a look showing she had been caught at anything, Missouri smiled sweetly and offered her hand to the young woman, “Anna, is it?”

Anna looked surprised. “How did you- oh. You must be Missouri. Hi. Yes, Anna.” Anna took her hand and shook it, smiling. After releasing, Missouri offered, “It’s nice to meet you, Anna.”

Missouri glanced once more to the chifforobe. The spirit was gone and the energies had settled around the room into a normal hum. She turned back to Anna and offered another smile. “I believe I’m done here, sugar.” Missouri went to the staircase and descended and Anna followed. At the bottom of it was all four boys. Dean and Sam were fidgeting nervously, Gabriel was finishing up his candy bar and Castiel was looking directly into her eyes.

“So, can we stay?” Sam asked unable to keep the question contained any longer.

Missouri sighed with a frown weighing on her face and even though Dean tried hard not to get excited about the weekend, he realized he had failed because his heart was sinking. Sam was wearing the disappointment on his face that mirrored what Dean was feeling.

Unwilling to draw out their despair any more than she had to, Missouri smiled. “Of course you can stay.”

Sam shouted a, “Yes!” and Dean’s smile grew wider.

“I also know you boys are goin’ to a party.” She looked over the whole group and her eyes settled on Dean. Dean opened his mouth like he was going to offer an explanation when Missouri shot her hand up and turned her face from him. “No. The least I know, the better.” She put her hand down and looked at Dean again. “You boys be smart, use what brains God gave ya and-” her features turned soft and loving,"-have a great weekend. You boys have earned it.” She crossed her arms in front of her as she looked at Gabriel. “You’re the oldest and you’re gonna be responsible for these boys.” It was a command, not an observation. “Ya hear me? You won’t have me to answer to should something go wrong. Trust me when I say you want no tail end of that.”

Gabriel stood up straighter. He considered this a challenge and he sure didn't want a cop pissed- especially at him. “I will.”

Missouri nodded seemingly pleased with what she read from him. She put her arms down and glanced between Gabriel and Anna. “It was a pleasure meeting you both and thank you for letting me into your home.” She settled her gaze on Gabriel, “Next time, I expect to be offered a drink, a slice of pie or something.”

“You’ve got it Ms. M.” Gabriel responded as she moved through them to the front door. She turned and an eyebrow raised practically to her hairline. She shook her head, clucking her tongue at Gabriel, saying nothing more until she reached the door.

“Well, come on boys. Come get your stuff. I’m needed back to the precinct.” She opened the door and added as she went through it, “Castiel, that means you too, baby.”

Castiel had been looking at the ground when she said his name. His head shot up but he didn’t reply. Instead, he followed behind his friends. Sam and Dean hefted their bags from the trunk and Dean slammed it closed.

Sam hugged Missouri around her middle before offering, “Thanks Missouri! This is awesome.” He squeezed and looked up at her.

She smiled down at him and rubbed his cheek. “No problem, baby. You stick close to your brother and his friends. Don’t go off walking into the caves by yourself.” Her face turned stern as she grasped his chin to level his eyes towards hers. “Ya’ hear?

Sam smiled wide, “Yes, ma'am.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek in a quick peck. “Go on hun, and listen to your brother.”

Sam sprinted towards the house and she turned her attention to Dean next. He was face to face with her and she realize how much Dean had grown in the last few years. There was a mixture of sadness and joy in her chest at the thought. In a few short more years he would be making his full transition into manhood. She only wished that things had been different for him. The boy was forever changed and his life altered in such a way that she often wondered if he would ever know peace. To her surprise, as she put her hand on his cheek, she felt something different shift within the boy. He felt- _lighter_ somehow and she shifted her eyes to Castiel for a brief moment before turning them to Dean again. She smiled at him, “You heard what I told your brother. Make sure you keep an eye on him while you’re having your fun.”

“I will. I promise.” Dean replied with a smile of his own. He kissed her cheek and began making his way towards the house at an even pace. “Your father will be here to pick you boys up Sunday evening!” She called after him.

He turned and kept his pace towards the house walking backwards. Have her a salute and a charming smile before he turned back around. She smiled and shook her head before catching a glimpse of Castiel’s retreating form.

“Castiel, honey. Can I speak with you a moment?”

Castiel turned and walked the few feet back towards her. “Yes?” he asked, his head tilted and brow furrowed.

“I know this is a probably going to be a strange question but, do you know what your sister keeps locked away in her chifforobe?”

“That _is_ a strange question.” He answered with a small chuckle but he answered. “Clothes, her cigarettes she hides from Michael when he's here.” He thought for a moment and then added, “Oh and our family photo albums. She keeps them hidden there. Father once burned a lot of our family photos when our mother left and Anna found a few. She was pretty determined to keep them out of his reach.”

Missouri nodded and chewed her bottom lip. Castiel’s head tilted more, “Why do you ask?”

Missouri painted on her smile again, “Oh, no reason, really. Was just- curious. Thank you, you’ve been a great help.”

Castiel’s head straightened and he nodded. Changing the subject he said, “Thank you for trusting us with Dean and Sam. I know they are very important to you.”

Missouri smiled again, “Your brother and sister are good people. I can sense that strongly about them, though your brother’s manners need a good wrenching.” She said and leaned in closer placing a hand on his cheek as she had Dean and Sam. Her next words were low enough so that no one on the porch could hear if they had been there. “I trust you with Dean’s life. You might not understand it now ‘cause of your youth and inexperience, but try and listen anyway. Your kinship and pull towards one another is by no means a mistake. One day it’ll reveal itself, of that I have no doubt.” Castiel’s eyes widened some and he started to fidget in place, his eyes shifting around instead of on Missouri’s. While he wasn’t feeling shame or guilt, he did feel very exposed.

Missouri patted his cheek lovingly, a smile making an appearance as she whispered, “I know.” Castiel’s eyes shot back up towards hers. He swallowed and began to stammer out, “I-um- we...”

Missouri chuckled and let her hand fall as she leaned back. “Castiel, sugar? It’s none of my business. Just- you tread lightly, ya’ hear? I tell you these things so that my words weigh on you a sense of respect for what is going on between the two of you. Not to mention the hefty amounts of patience that will be required, and of course the heartbreak that is sure to come at some point, as it does to all young loves.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Castiel was about to correct her on the use of the word ‘ _love_ ’. All of this was way too new and out of his element for that word. To be honest, Castiel had no clue what ‘ _loving_ ’ someone was supposed to feel like or what it was supposed to look like. He knew what loyalty felt like and companionship, but instead of going into all of this with Missouri, he stayed silent.

“Just don’t give up on him even when he seems hell bent on giving up on himself. He needs a friend like you.”

Castiel nodded, still not quite understanding but he made sure to file it all away to memory. Missouri brought him into a hug and it was a strange situation for Castiel. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a hug from someone and especially someone he barely knew. At first, he wasn’t sure where to put his hands or even sure how he should reciprocate, but the negotiation on how to respond ended when she brought her mouth down towards his ear. She whispered, “Your mother loved you beyond words, Castiel. I can feel her love in you.”

Tears welled up in his eyes in reaction to the revelation- in how she seemed to know for certain, _without a doubt_ , what she said was true. In another breath, Missouri had pulled away and was getting into her car. As a tear fell cool down his cheek, she was already down the drive and turning towards downtown.

 

~*~

 “I’m tellin’ you John. It was the boy’s mother.” Missouri was looking sternly at John over his desk.

John sat back and sighed. “I heard you the first time, Missouri.” His voice was tired and strained as he rubbed his eyes. A headache was threatening and this day had been far too long.

She pursed her lips and John winced. Missouri had a way about her that made everyone around her feel like a ten year old. John was constantly having to remind himself he was almost forty whenever he was in her presence.

“So?!” She remarked with a shift in her stance that had her almost hovering over his desk.

John fought the urge to back further away and instead sat forward, his hands cupped in front of him on the desk. “I checked the Novak family history as far back as I could find records. I checked into the detective work surrounding Mrs. Novak’s case. The work was textbook perfect and all evidence points to her having abandoned the family. There’s even a paper trail showing she purchased a plane ticket to Russia, eyewitnesses placing her at the airport on both ends of the flight.” He sighed heavily. “I’ve gone as far as I can go on this lead.”

Missouri sighed heavily and collapsed into the chair behind her. John knew she was frustrated with the topic of conversation, but something else seemed to be eating at her.

“The boys are okay, aren’t they?” he asked a trace of concern on his face.

Missouri waved a shooing hand at him and placed it back in her lap. She was still looking away as she said, “They’re fine…being teenagers for once. They’re in good hands with Gabriel. He doesn’t have a lick of good manners about him, but he’s smart, responsible and has a good heart.”

“What’s wrong, then? I get a feeling it's more than just the Novaks.” John asked, the muscles in his face and shoulders relaxing some.

Missouri was still not looking at John. “I just can’t shake this feeling that there is some connection between Mary and Gaia Novak.”

“I really don’t see how there could be. I mean, I’m not knocking your feelers because they’ve never been wrong before, but- the Novaks were in different parts of the world when the fire happened. There are absolutely no connections between the Novaks and anyone in our family. No foul play was found in Mary’s death. The Fire Chief confirmed the fire started when the space heater fell over.” John paused realizing Missouri was looking at him now with a stern gaze.

“You know damn well Mary was killed by more than a space heater falling.” She said with anger.

John swallowed down the lump in his throat. “The evidence...” he started, but Missouri stood suddenly and John jumped in his seat. She was pointing at him. “You know what that boy saw John, what he heard. Even if you throw out everything I’ve told you as hocus pocus your son’s words should be the only evidence you need.”

John stood now and walked to the window behind him. He rubbed his hand over his mouth in frustration. He was angry, but not at Missouri. He turned to her, tears evident in the cusp of his eyes. “I believed Dean, Missouri, but that belief had me absent during years he needed me the most. I was drunk half the time and chasing after the truth the other half of the time. It’s why I cleaned myself up. Hell, it’s _why_ I became a cop!”

He approached his desk again. Even though he was angry and the grief he was feeling was pounding at her in waves, Missouri stood her ground. John continued, “And if there's one thing being a cop has taught me it’s that evidence is the only truth that matters. Without it, I- I’m just chasing a ghost and neglecting my boys in the process.”

John’s eyes were still steady on Missouri. She put her purse on her shoulder and asked, “You finished?” her voice solid, but lower than it had been before.

It turned sympathetic as she continued, “I’m sorry, John, for your loss. I’m sorry that you feel you’re beatin’ a dead horse, that- I can’t give you any more than my gift and my advice. I truly am.” Her tone took on a motherly one as she finished, “But while you have found proper excuses such as the weight of evidence, your guilt over not being there for your boys when you felt they needed you most, you can't turn a blind eye now. I know you don't like hearing it, but doing that makes everything you and your boys have gone through all in vain.”

She adjusted her strap, “Dean feels the burden of responsibility in Mary’s death, John.”

John wiped his eyes and sniffed. He wanted to run from the direction of her discourse. They had been here before and knowing what she was going to say didn’t make it any easier to hear. While he listened, he avoided looking at her.

“It doesn’t matter he was only four years old. It only matters that he _knows_ something. Something he has shouted at everyone in a plea to find the answer- to _help_ him understand. He needs it so he can start makin’ sense of it. So he can know that there was nothing he could have done to save her. It’ll be closure, John, so he can forgive himself and begin healing. He _deserves_ the answers.”

She made the turn to leave, making three long strides to the door. She turned to John, her face softening even more. “I love you, John, but them boys are like my own children. My concern for them will always take priority over your comfort, your anger or your sorrow.” She frowned and her eyes began to water. Her voice quivered as she had the rest of her say, “What I feel in Dean- that pit he can’t fill? The darkness he gropes around in? It will linger 'til it just all of a sudden consumes him. He needs the answers more than your need to hide from what you might find.” With those last words Missouri walked out leaving John staring at his hands, his tears falling un-hindered as the door clicked closed.

 

~*~

An hour after Missouri left the Novaks, the five of them packed themselves into Gabriel’s brand new black T-top IROC Z28 Camaro. Gabriel had Sam take the front seat since it was surmised Sam was the shortest and could pull his seat forward all the way to add more room for Castiel and Dean’s legs. When Sam seemed embarrassed about the mention of his height, Gabriel tapped him on the arm while everyone else was distracted with trying to get comfortable in the back seat.

“Hey.” Gabriel said when Sam turned to him. “Don’t let it get to you kid-o. I haven’t grown an inch since I turned 17. If I had to make a bet, I think you’ll end up taller than any of us.”

Sam smiled, “Oh, yeah? What makes you think so?”

Gabriel shrugged and winked. “I’m rarely wrong?”

Sam rolled his eyes neither reassured nor less embarrassed. Gabriel offered, “Tell you what. We can make it interesting. I’ll bet you a hundred bucks that by the time you’re in college, you’ll be 6‘4“at the very least.”

Sam smiled wide, “All right. You’re on!”

Gabriel chuckled and turned the key in the ignition. The car roared into life and Gabriel put a cassette tape into the player. Journey’s _Separate Ways_ began to fill the car as he put the car into motion.

“Man, I fuckin’ love Journey!" Sam said over the music.

Gabriel gave him a sideways glance, “I know! My all-time fave band, man." he added.

Sam nodded in agreement, still smiling and head bobbing to the rhythm. “Sweet ride, too.” Sam observed as they turned onto the Highway.

Gabriel chuckled. “Thanks, man. I plan on keeping her mint.”

“Nothing like a Chevy.” Sam said and did his own sideways glance. “My dad has a ‘67 Impala.” Sam bragged.

“I thought that was an Impala. I saw it when your dad dropped Cassie off.” Gabriel replied, golden eyes glinting even in the dark. “A beautiful piece of ass right there.” Gabriel said, referring to the Impala. A smile curling one side of his mouth as he added. “Thanks for that by-the-way. Giving my little bro a lift.”

“No problem.” Sam answered with a shrug.

Gabriel gave another sideways glance. The expression of someone both amused and puzzled played over Gabriel's face before turning it back to the road.

Dean watched the exchange curiously. He sometimes forgot how old his brother was. Except for Sam’s hyper movements and child-like excitement, it was hard to tell he was only eleven. He spoke maturely and could hold his own around Dean’s friends. Dean never minded; Sam always preferred hanging with older people anyway compared to those his own age. Sam once told him that he just couldn’t relate to them. It might have been a big reason Sam's advancing a grade didn’t faze him at all. Sam was getting closer to being in a peer group that he could finally relate to. People probably should find it odd, but Sam fit in so well, it rarely passed noticed. Gabriel was obviously noticing though.

Dean felt someone take his hand which was on his lap. He jumped and he shot his eyes towards Castiel who was smiling at him. The look of shock and fear was unmistakable on Dean’s face. Castiel turned his head fully and leaned into Dean’s side to whisper in his ear. “Gabriel and Anna don’t care, Dean. It’s okay.” As if Castiel knew instinctively what Dean’s other main concern would be, he leaned in closer and added, “Sam can’t see, man. Relax.”

Castiel pulled back and Dean shyly glanced over to Anna who was returning his gaze. The smile she already wore grew brighter and she winked at him. Dean’s face flushed and he looked down to Castiel’s hand that was firmly on his still. A part of Dean was pushing to give into the panic and pull his hand from under Castiel’s- to tuck it away unseen and untouchable, but something else burned in him, a challenge to do what he _really_ wanted to do.

Knowing Sam wouldn’t be able to see, Dean closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. He could feel Castiel’s eyes still on him, waiting to see what he would do. _‘Okay.'_ he thought to himself, _‘I can do this.'_ He _wanted_ to do this.

Dean turned his hand palm up under Castiel’s and initiated the action of entwining their fingers which Castiel reacted to in kind. A thrill, hot and intoxicating, snaked through Dean at the simple action. He _loved_ how it made him feel. When he opened his eyes he turned to Castiel ( _who was fucking beaming)._ Anna was smiling shyly and a moment later had the good graces to turn her face from them allowing the moment privacy. She busied herself with lighting a cigarette instead. If Dean didn't know better, he could swear Castiel’s sister was proud of his courage.

Dean smiled meekly at Castiel who was still beaming and Dean marveled at how natural it was for his body to react to Castiel’s touch when his thumb began to massage circles over the skin of Castiel’s hand without a thought. Dean took in the sensation of the gentle strokes, how soft and warm Castiel’s hand was over his. Castiel began to return the touch with a gentle back and forth motion with his own thumb. It caused Dean’s insides to flutter and warm, the tense moments before completely melting away.

For the rest of the trip, Gabriel and Sam sang and air drummed along to Journey while passing glances and smiles between them. Anna, Castiel and Dean laughed at the show the two of them were giving. For the next thirty minutes, Dean felt what he and Castiel were doing was as natural as breathing. It was addictive and he knew right then- he was screwed.

 

~*~

When they piled out of the car, the party had already started. “Ash and the others will be in the cave.” Dean said and started walking and the group followed him.

Several barrel drums were aflame and small groups of teenagers stood around them warming themselves while they drank from plastic cups or beer cans. Music that sounded like ZZTop was playing from a car radio somewhere nearby. A number of people waved or nodded towards them and there were a few, _‘Hey Dean’_ along the way as well. At some point Anna left their side to join some people she knew and the rest of them entered the cave.

Inside, there were candles lit everywhere and another barrel was aflame in the center. It was significantly warmer in the cave compared to the outside which was a relief against the bitter cold. Guns N’ Roses echoed through the cavern, the hollowness and stone magnifying the volume naturally. Castiel was in his element and it appeared Dean was too.

“Ash, man! That was some primo shit you sold me. Consider me a satisfied customer. I’ll score some more before we leave tonight if you have any left.” Gabriel said as they approached a group of teens sitting on the stone floor in a circle near the back.

“You’re most welcome, compadre’! I’ll have plenty, my friend.” Ash’s eyes were already squinting and puffy as he patted the backpack behind him.

“Me casa es su casa.” Ash said as he made a motion with his hand signaling them to sit in what was obviously the puff and pass circle. The circle included Garth, Jo and a couple high schoolers that Castiel didn't recognize. It was obvious Gabriel did though since he addressed them.

“Hey, Racheal and Ariael.” They moved so that Gabriel could sit between them and once he settled in he put his arms around both their waists. Both girls smiled at him and then giggled when he wiggled his eyebrows. He leaned into Racheal who kissed him deep until Ariael groaned and made a fake pout. She tugged on his Gabriel’s shirt impatiently and he broke the kiss with Racheal and made similar demonstrations on Ariael’s eager mouth. Castiel rolled his eyes, Dean chuckled and Ash nodded appreciatively.

“Hey, Dean? I see Sarah and Becky. I’m going to go hang with them.” Sam said acting like everything he was seeing was just the way parties around here normally went and was nothing he hadn’t seen before.

“Yeah, okay.” Dean replied and then called out, “Stay outta the booze!” to his brother’s retreating figure.

He could barely hear Sam’s reply of, “Whatever, jerk!”

“Bitch!” Dean shouted back.

“Partake?” Ash asked as he passed a joint to Castiel who was seated next to him. Castiel accepted it without hesitation and took a hit. He passed it to the next in line which was Dean and he half expected Dean to pass it to the next person without smoking but instead he took a hefty hit of his own before passing it to Garth.

 _‘Well that answers the all lingering question.’_ Castiel thought and looked at his brother who had ceased sucking on Racheal and Ariael’s faces. He could tell Gabriel was relieved that Dean could hang with them and not go narcing to his dad which meant it was going to be a great weekend. Gabriel noticed that Castiel was looking at him and he smiled. Dean had his brother’s approval just like that, something about that fact warmed Castiel and he mused to himself, ‘ _This is going to be a really, really great weekend._ ’

A couple more rounds were made before Gabriel left to either sample the booze or get laid with the two girls in tow. What was left of the group pulled themselves in closer, filling the space that had been made. Ash was finishing up the last of the joint and he handed Dean a small sack of weed, a tray and a pack of zig zags. “Fix us up another, Dean my man.” Ash instructed.

Dean took it and set to work to roll another and Castiel watched how quickly and expertly he packed and rolled it. When he watched Dean create a filter from tearing a piece of cardboard from the zig zag box, it made Castiel’s dick twitch.

Ash flicked his roach and blew out the smoke before saying, “So. Deeeeean. Crowley’s been talking about your ass to everyone since we ran into him the other day.”

Dean nodded and licked the paper to seal the joint then pushed in the makeshift filter and formed the end around it. “Yeah. He can’t help himself.” He shot Ash a mischievous grin. “My ass is so pretty n’all.” Dean reached into his pocket, pulling out a lighter. With a couple passes over his sleeve, the zippo flickered and lit. A few puffs later, the joint was being passed again.

“You’re a fuckin artist, Winchester." Ash said holding up the joint as if marveling at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. After taking a hit Ash continued, “Thought about what you’re gonna tell him?” Ash asked.

“Yeah. Going to tell him to take the job and shove it up his ass.”

“Good deal, man.” Ash said appreciatively.

Castiel took a hit from the perfect joint before passing back to Dean who did the same before passing to Garth.

“You’re not worried about his threats?” Jo asked, clearly concerned, before taking a hit.

“If it was Alastair making the threats I’d probably be worried but since it is Crowley, not so much.” Dean answered then added, “Where’s the booze, Ash?”

Ash pointed in the direction of the far wall which was littered with bottles of liquor, coolers filled with what was likely beer and two kegs that had _Roadhouse_ stamped across them.

Dean looked at Jo appreciatively. “Impressive haul, Jo!”

Jo shrugged, a bashful smile on her lips. “Merry Christmas!” she said and laughed. Everyone else in the circle started laughing as well like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard.

Yeah, they were fucked up plenty good.

“I need a drink.” Dean said and back handed Castiel’s arm as he got up.

“Later, Ash.” Castiel said as he got up to follow Dean.

“Yeah, man. Later.” Ash replied and he watched them walk away.

Jo was looking at Ash with a big grin on her face when Ash turned to her and responded to her unspoken question, “They’re totally fucking each other, man.”

Garth choked on his smoke and began coughing so hard that he was gagging and Jo started laughing so hard she fell backwards. Ash simply took another hit and began hitting his cousin solidly on the back.

 

~*~

Castiel watched as Dean bent over and grabbed an unopened bottle of whiskey.

“Come on.” Dean said and began walking down one of the tunnels leading deeper into the cavern.

The path was lit with candles at irregular intervals. They passed a few couples making out in the shadows and a few groups either drinking hooch or smoking bud. While Castiel had no clue where they were going, Dean walked like he could have found the place in the dark. Eventually they came to a place where the path split. One was still lit with candles but the other was pitch black. Dean grabbed Castiel’s sleeve and pulled him toward the pitch black path.

“You know where you’re going?” Castiel asked. Not that he cared at all now that his high was kicking into full gear. They could be walking into fire right now and Castiel wouldn’t have given an ounce of a shit. Gabriel was right; Ash’s bud was probably the best he’d ever had.

Dean simply answered with, “Yeah.”

It was so dark that Castiel couldn't see anything and when he turned to look behind him, they had obviously turned on the path because there was no distant light from where they had come from. The music, though, was still echoing through the cavern and Castiel was about to ask Dean again if he knew where he was going when they came to a stop.

“Stay still.” Dean instructed and Castiel did. He could hear Dean rummaging in his pocket and heard the flick and saw the sparks of the lighter which lit on the third try.

“There it is.” Dean said as he followed the wall and bent over. When he stood back up he was holding an old Kerosene lantern and he used his lighter to light it. With a few turns of the knob, the glow got brighter and Castiel finally could see where they were.

It was a decent sized chamber and several feet in front of him was a pool of water. To his right was a flat rock obviously being used as a table and beside it on the ground was a sleeping bag.

“In the day time the springs light up. The main spring is just on the other side of this rock wall. Sunlight hits the water on that side and reflects in here lighting it up.” Dean informed while he opened the whiskey bottle and tossed the cap. He brought the bottle to his lips and turning it up taking three large swigs like he was drinking water instead of hard liquor. He then brought the bottle down and handed it out to Castiel, which he took and upturned a shot.

He passed it back to Dean, “I take it you come here often?”

Dean sat the bottle down on the flat rock table. “Not often, but sometimes. Yeah.”

Dean sauntered over to Castiel and took a fist full of his shirt, pushing Castiel’s back against the wall forcefully. His face hovered close to Castiel’s and for a moment he thought Dean was going to kiss him. Instead Dean asked, “I thought we agreed not to tell anyone, Cas?” His eyes flickered from Castiel’s eyes to his lips and back again.

Castiel licked his lips involuntarily and answered, “I told them before we agreed.”

For a moment, Dean froze, thinking he heard voices but then realized it was Alice Cooper’s _Not That Kind Of Love_ starting to play and some hooting and yelling carried up the corridor. He decided everyone was already too drunk or high to be venturing into the dark and began to move again, loosening his grip on Castiel’s shirt. He brought both hands up to either side of Castiel’s head, palms anchoring to the wall.

Dean was feeling that sweet surge again and between the joints and now the whiskey, he was all want and need and he didn’t give a fuck. Hell, even if his dad came in here, he was going to get what he wanted. He lowered his face until he hovered mere inches from Castiel’s. He watched amused, as Castiel’s breathing was getting quicker, his eyes staring into Dean’s.

Wanting to delay the torture he was obviously giving Castiel, ‘ _serves him right for opening his mouth in the first place’,_ he asked, “So- you saying they’re just cool with it. They’re not freaked out at all?”

“Yes, Dean. No one’s _freaked_. Anna-” Castiel started but in the next moment Dean’s lips were on his closing off anything he was about to say. When Dean’s tongue licked across his lips lapping a permission for entrance, Castiel forgot that they were even having a conversation and opened to him. Any presumed timidity that Castiel seemed to have was completely erased. He grabbed back at Dean and forced him around until Dean’s back slammed into the wall now. It paused their kissing for a moment as the force caused their lips to separate. A surprised look on Dean’s face turned into a wicked grin. This domination play was clearly becoming a thing with them. Castiel’s mouth mirrored Dean’s grin, a small laugh came out of him before he dived back in a convincing show of trying to consume Dean.

The taste of whiskey and weed on Dean’s tongue was just cherry on the top for Castiel. In a chaotic movement of hands, arms and their equally hungry mouths- shirts and pants were removed with only their boxers left in seconds. Dean pulled Castiel towards the sleeping bag but it was Castiel who pulled Dean down on top of him and Dean reveled in the sensation of Castiel under him. Dean firmly leveled himself between Castiel’s thighs then he propped himself up on an elbow to allow leverage. His mouth leaving Castiel’s only to find its way down his jawline in small kisses and licks that caused Castiel to shake. Dean’s hand moved down the length of Castiel’s body gripping his hip firmly as he pivoted and drove his dick against Castiel’s who was already rock hard. The perfect friction was mind blowing and both moaned in response to it. With Dean’s next thrust, Castiel brought his hips up to meet his downward motion.

Castiel’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, mouth parted in pleasure. When he felt Dean’s forehead on his own, he opened his eyes to meet sex blown pupils haloed in green caught by the lantern light. They continued to stare into each other’s eyes as the rhythm began to quicken.

“Fuck, Cas.” was all Dean could say until Castiel brought his arms around Dean and tucked them under Dean’s boxers, gripping Dean’s ass to give more more pressure and friction as he grounded up into Dean.

Dean growled and said in almost wonder, “What the fuck are you doing to me?”

Castiel answered by taking Dean’s mouth and tongue with his own. A few thrusts later Dean could feel the heat pool into him and he knew Castiel was close as his grip and thrusts faltered. Castiel’s breath quickened and his mouth opened, letting go of Dean’s ass to put his fingers in Dean’s hair. Their foreheads together again, Dean came first and Castiel followed a moment later. Dean continued to move his hips through their release and when he finally stilled he moved off Castiel but pulled his shoulder to turn Castiel to face him. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s shoulders and lifted his leg to wrap around his hip. Castiel was shocked by the intimacy, given Dean’s apprehension about what was between them in the first place but he responded by wrapping an arm around Dean’s waist. Dean leaned in and kissed his lips briefly but tenderly then brought a hand up and ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair a few times before asking again, “What are you doing to me?” the wonder in his voice was there again.

“Fuck _you_. What are _you_ doing to _me_?” Castiel laughed.

“I don’t know, man, but it’s the best fucking drug!” Dean replied through a chuckle.

Castiel nodded his agreement and replied, “Yeah.” as he began to shift out from under Dean’s embrace.

“Wait. Where're you going?” Dean asked concerned.

Castiel stood and motioned towards his boxers which where a mess. “Clothes and booze.”

Dean looked down towards his own boxers observing the sticky mess and winced at the sight. “Yeah.”

Castiel picked up their clothes and snagged the whiskey. Dean watched him and noticed the muscles in his back and the tone of his abs that jutted at his hip bones. Dean’s dick twitched in interest even though it should have been spent and feelings of guilt and shame started flooding in again.

Castiel threw Dean’s clothes at him and Dean reached out for the bottle which Castiel handed to him too. Dean tipped the bottle back working in earnest to get his buzz back and perhaps wash away the feelings that had arisen all of the sudden.

Castiel stripped off his boxers showing absolutely no shame in either his body or in Dean seeing it and Dean was struck with envy. After Castiel got his jeans on he sat cross legged in front of Dean who was now sitting up and taking his seventh hit of the bottle.

Castiel noticed the difference in Dean immediately, “What’s wrong?”

Dean handed Castiel the bottle, who took it and drank from it while he waited for an answer.

“You said your sister and brother know?”

Castiel nodded.

“And they’re okay with it?” Dean shot him a disbelieving sideways glance.

Castiel tilted his head questioning. “It’s not just the newness or the confusion over this." Castiel’s hand gestured between them. “Is it?" He added, "You actually feel guilty? Like we’re doing something wrong?”

Dean stood up quickly and stepped into the shadows to change out of his ruined boxers and into his clothes. Castiel turned his eyes to the bottle still in his hand and took another drag. Castiel wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel but it did hurt that shame and guilt was related to him in any way. Missouri's words from earlier started coming forward into his thoughts.

After a moment Dean stepped back into the light and sat back in front of Castiel.

“Yeah. Don’t you?” Dean asked.

“No.” Was Castiel’s simple answer.

Dean stared at him astonished. How could Castiel be so cool with everything? He was actually envying him even more now. Dean toyed with the idea of not giving a shit about what others would think and it was squashed as soon as he thought of his old man. He pictured holding Castiel’s hand in front of the man he idolized, the man who seemed so relieved when he found Dean’s porn stash filled with chicks and not dudes. The man who laughed when jokes were made about ‘queers’. At the end of that vision, Dean began to panic.

Castiel noticed and wanted to reach out and touch him but Dean was looking like a feral cat about to jump and run at the slightest movement. Instead, he kept his voice low and his tone relaxed. “It’s okay, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes showed a slight of clarity, “Is it, Cas?” his tone both a plea and cynical.

Castiel took a deep breath before asking, “Did what happened between us _feel_ okay when it was happening? Don’t think about how you feel now. Think about how it felt when we were in the moment.” Castiel was pretty sure he was crossing some line by asking Dean to delve into what were perhaps shameful acts to him but he felt the only way he was going to decide to continue with Dean or stop everything would be how he answered the question. It was all on how Dean felt about the act itself.

Dean looked down at the bottle in his hand. Castiel’s heart sunk and something fringing on an emotion he never thought himself possible of reared up- _heartbreak_. It was too soon to be feeling something this intense in response to rejection from someone he had only known a few days. He felt an urgent need to get up and begin walking but didn’t know where to go, he just needed to get away. Tears started to well up. _‘Fuck!’_

Castiel picked up his shirt and put it on calmly, even though he was feeling anything but calm. He stood slowly and picked up his socks and shoes then took a seat on the rock table where he began to put them on. He could feel Dean’s eyes on him now and Castiel forced himself to not look back. Grabbing his jean jacket, he started to make his way calmly towards the dark corridor.

“Cas?” Dean asked standing up.

“I need to get back to Gabriel- find Anna.” He was able to manage before stepping into the darkness but something grabbed his arm and pull him back into the light.

“Hey!” Dean said, still holding into Castiel’s arm.

Castiel couldn’t bring himself to look up at Dean, his gaze instead danced around with the shadows on the floor.

Dean took Castiel’s jaw in hand and lifted it gently. Castiel resisted but submitted at Dean saying, “Cas. Look at me, man.”

Dean’s heart fell seeing the tears edging Castiel’s eyes. He had no clue Castiel was feeling as intensely over this thing going on with them as he had been. It comforted and scared the fuck out of him but he leaned in and touched his lips to Castiel’s. Castiel shivered but then relaxed, opening up to Dean. The kiss was deep and intimate but brief. Dean pulled back and a faint smile tugged at the corners of Dean’s mouth in response to the fully sedated look on Castiel’s face, his kissed red lips parted and eyes at half-mast.

“I didn’t feel shame, Cas. It felt like the most right thing I’ve ever done. Fuck, I mean all I wanted was to stay like that forever.” Dean let go of Castiel’s jaw as he turned and walked to pick up the bottle. “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ beyond confused.” He turned to Castiel. “This is some pretty intense shit.” Dean laughed, “I’ve been with a few chicks. Hot, cool chicks but I’ve never felt anything like this with any of them.”

He paused and then asked. “Have you been with any girls? The way you move- the way you make out, I kinda assumed you have.”

Castiel finally relaxed and rubbed his eyes. “Several, actually. You can’t have a brother like Gabriel and not get a piece of the action.” Castiel said the last four words with air quotation then smiled like he was remembering something fondly. “Lost my virginity to Gabriel’s girlfriend, Meg.”

 

“Shit, Cas!” Dean said laughing. “What the fuck, man!? Your bro’s _girlfriend_?” Dean was completely humored by the revelation.

“Oh, Gabe knew. It was his idea. It was my 14th birthday. It’s a good memory.” Castiel said grinning from ear to ear now looking towards the ceiling like he was re-watching it there.

Dean chuckled and shook his head as he looked down at the ground.

Castiel continued, “And damn- when Meg and Ruby got together it was round table fucking. Quite epic, actually.”

Dean shot his head up, eyes so wide his brows were at his hair line. “You’ve had a _threesome_?!”

Castiel nodded and looked at Dean. A smile was still on his lips. “Offended?” he asked.

“No! Jealous!” Dean said and made a mock pout, which sent both of them into a fit of laughter.

When the laughter faded, Dean picked up the abandoned bottle and Castiel said, “It’s the same with me too, you know?”

Dean took a shot and, bringing the bottle down, asked, “What’s that?”

Castiel had a faint smile left on his lips but his head was tilted in an almost contemplative manner, “I have never felt like this with anyone.”

Dean handed the nearly half empty bottle to Castiel, who took a shot. Dean was not going to say it out loud, but he was sailing on the inside hearing Castiel felt the same way which only amplified the hard buzz he was starting to feel. He didn’t want to bring it up, especially since they were now back on lighter and mutual ground, but he couldn’t stop the panic that was still laced tight within him.

“Cas. I still can’t have people knowing. Your family’s different. If- if my dad even knew I smoked weed I’d be shipped off to military school or some shit. If he found out I was into a guy?”

Dean took the bottle Cas offered him and took a long draw before bringing it down and continuing, “I don’t even want to think about what might happen, man. So I just need you to get it, why this has to be a secret. It’s not you man, it’s just what I have to do.”

Castiel took a long draw on the bottle himself and nodded as he replied, “I get it, Dean.” He handed Dean the bottle and added, “There’s just one condition.”

One of Dean’s brows raised, “And that would be?”

Castiel closed the distance between them, his eyes flickering over Dean’s face. “When you’re in my home, you will free yourself and be with me how you want to be. No holding back, no shame or guilt. If your father is your concern you will not have to worry about it getting out to him.”

Dean was looking at him with the panic look again, “My brother, dude.” he replied.

Castiel smiled, “How do you know he is not already aware, Dean?”

Dean looked at Castiel like he had said the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “What?!”

Castiel just shook his head. “Family, especially when they’re close to you- just know things.” Instead of elaborating he simply said, “Come on, Dean.” as he started heading towards the darkened path. “Speaking of Sam, we need to check on him, make sure Becky hasn’t tried to get in his pants yet.”

Dean made a look of disgust, “Dude, not okay.”

 

~*~

Gabriel saw Sam’s wide eyes and anxious movements as he kept trying to remove the blonde’s octopus hands from various parts of his body. The poor kid was clearly interested in the brunette that Gabriel had seen them with earlier but she had left several minutes ago, leaving Sam at the mercy of the other girl.

Any other day and any other guy, Gabriel would have watched the awkward misery unfold without ever offering to help. But this was Sam and the idea of him being miserable wasn’t entertaining to him in the slightest. He sighed, drained the rest of his beer and tossed the remains into one of the burning barrels as he made his way to intercept.

“Hey, Sambo.”

Sam turned and looked up at Gabriel, a plea in his eyes.

“How about we go look for your bro and we scoot out of here, huh?”

Relief flooded Sam, “Yeah- yeah okay.” He turned to Becky pulling her hand from his chest and putting it into her lap. “I gotta go Beck.”

Becky made an exaggerated pout but it slid away when she smiled and waved to someone behind Gabriel. He turned and saw Ash’s cousin coming out of the cave. Garth obviously didn’t see her so Gabriel did something he was more used to doing- getting a friend laid.

“Garth!” he called out and Garth looked up. Gabriel waved at him to come over, which Garth did. Garth’s features lit up seeing Becky and all Gabriel could think was ‘ _perfect_ ’. Sam stood so Garth could take his place, which he did with a smile. As Gabriel predicted, Becky’s hands went to work again but this time on a willing participant.

Gabriel mused that he should really be doing this for a living and turned his attention to Sam. “Come on, man. Let’s go find our bros.”

After a quick pass around the outside and inside of the cave, there was no sign of Dean or Castiel so Gabriel grabbed another beer and they perched themselves on the hood of Gabriel’s car where they could see the entire area should their brothers emerge.

“Thanks.” Sam said. “You know- for saving me from Becky. She’s cool and all. Likes books and stuff but...”

“She’s not the one you’re interested in.” Gabriel finished for him.

Sam looked at him astonished and Gabriel huffed a laugh, “I noticed how you were eyeing the brunette.

“Sarah? Yeah, she’s pretty awesome.” Sam said with a shy smile as he started playing with the zipper on his jacket.

Gabriel took a drink and asked, “So, why haven’t you gone for it…asked her out?”

Sam shrugged and his smile fell away. “She’s older than me and I’ve never asked a girl out before.

“So you feel outta’ your element? Gotcha.” Gabriel said and took another drink. “You know? I have this philosophy. It kinda rules my life.”

Sam turned to Gabriel now, listening intently. “What’s that?”

Gabriel smiled, “Life’s not worth living if you’re not risking something.”

Sam smiled again, this time wider. “Yeah. Yeah, I like that.”

It was Gabriel’s turn to give a shy smile, noting to himself that was something he rarely was moved to and that alone had him looking at Sam like he was a puzzle piece of some sort. He continued, “Plus, I think she digs you, man. She had _the_ look. Probably feeling the same way about you.”

Sam looked at him, his brow furrowing. “What? How so?”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Gabriel said to him, his own brow tightening. “I thought you were the smart guy. You know? The same smart guy who advanced a grade and who I’m willing to bet will be in college when he’s, like, 16.”

“Shut up. I’m already up a hundred bucks. Don’t think you can afford anymore bets.” Sam laughed and Gabriel laughed with him.

“No, I’m serious. You’re this really smart guy who can hang with the older crowd and no one gives two licks of a shit. Older chicks trying to get into your pants. She has to be thinking, ‘ _This dude won’t be into me. I’m just this plain chick who is nothing special_.’ Or something like that.” Gabriel took another drink which emptied the bottle.

“Really? You think so?” Sam asked, hope and excitement pouring out of him.

“I know so. Take risks, Sambo. You’ll thank me one day.” Gabriel took his hand and ruffled Sam’s hair playfully.

Sam usually would have pushed someone’s hand away and amply complained but with Gabriel, he actually enjoyed the playfulness. It didn’t feel like he was being teased or played with. It felt like Gabriel’s version of a hug and Sam was totally okay with that.

He wasn’t sure why he said it but after Sam wordlessly fixed his hair, he blurted out, “I saw my brother and your brother making out.”

Gabriel turned a side glance to Sam with a raised eyebrow. “I take it you were not supposed to see it?”

Sam shook his head, still looking forwards. “Yeah, they were doing it in front of the window and I was outside. They didn’t see me but- I saw them.”

Gabriel didn’t say anything but instead watched Sam. A series of expressions played out over the younger boy’s face. After a few moments of silence Sam turned to Gabriel, “Sorry. That just came out.”

“Does it bother you?” Gabriel asked.

“Honestly? The only thing that’s bothered me is my brother not telling me. But I guess he has his reasons.” Sam shrugged and looked down at his zipper again.

Gabriel smiled watching Sam. Yeah, this boy was totally different. To be his age and have already mastered tolerance when most adults still fumbled ‘ _Unless you lived in Amsterdam and oh damn how he missed Amsterdam_ ’.

“That’s very progressive of you, Sam.”

Sam turned to Gabriel, “Thanks, but it’s none of my business who people love or are attracted to. Hell, I wouldn’t like it much if someone told me I had to fall in love with and spend the rest of my life with someone I’m not attracted to. That would suck all amount of balls. Gay pun intended.” Sam said and Gabriel laughed.

“You’re funny, Sambo. Much more than meets the eye.”

Sam laughed, “Did you just, like, quote from the Transformers?”

Gabriel chuckled, “Would you love me less if I said I did and did so without shame?”

“Na.” Sam watched as Gabriel looked down with a shy smile and added, “I guess you knew, too?”

Gabriel had enough foresight to know that Sam might be hurt if he learned that Castiel had confided in his siblings whereas Dean had not with his own so he simply replied, “Yeah.”

He looked at Sam again and, not wanting to allow him to ask how he found out, he added, “Try not to be hurt. Seriously, I think they don’t want people knowing. I might be wrong about this but your bro seems to be pretty popular and if it got out, things would change in that department. Meaning no disrespect but your dad would eventually find out, for example.”

Sam was still keeping hurt feelings until Gabriel mentioned his dad. It instantly filled him with understanding and he looked at Gabriel who was looking back.

“You get it now?” Gabriel asked and nodded.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks.” Sam replied.

“Please tell me you stayed outta the booze.” Dean said as he approached his brother and Gabriel. Castiel was smiling stupidly and Gabriel gave him an amused look. Castiel saw it and he blushed before looking away. Gabriel smirked wide because the teasing was going to be plenty epic in his lil’ bro’s near future.

“Shut up.” Sam said with mock irritation and hopped down off the car.

Gabriel followed, “So, Cassie? Dean-O? We done here? We can continue the party in the comfort of our house.” Gabriel patted his pocket which carried a large sack of weed he had obtained from Ash before seeing Sam.

Hearing the baggy crinkle as it was patted, Dean grinned, “Yeah. We’re done here.”

 

~*~

 After finding Anna, they got into the car with the same sitting arrangements as before. Gabriel started the engine after storing his bag of weed in the glove box and Sam was shaking his head, “I don’t know how you guys can smoke so much of that crap and not go stupid.” He chuckled, “Oh, wait. Strike that. Reverse it.”

“Hey! Nice one!” Gabriel exclaimed but smiled appreciatively of the Willy Wonka quote drop.

“He’s right, you know?” Anna said.

“Sorry Anna but your cancer sticks will ruin your body before my weed will ever ruin my mind.” Gabriel added curtly.

“Whatever. You know your habit will stunt your growth right? I mean, look at you. You’re already a short shit.”

“Children!” Castiel said in a fatherly tone. “We all have our vices. How about we stop arguing the finer points before this turns into a real fight?”

“Sam started it!” Gabriel shouted in a mock kid voice.

“ _Me?!_ ” Sam responded in kind and he and Gabriel started laughing.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. Gabriel caught it and decided he simply could not pass up fucking with Dean. If the dude was good enough for Cas, he had to make sure Dean could take whatever he could dish out. Besides, Gabriel loved messing with people’s heads. The only thing that made this situation different was he hated closed minded bullshit and didn’t want to be reminded of that all weekend. He also loved his little bro so if clearing the air meant that Cassie would have a great weekend then he would risk any drama that might come as a result.

“Sambo? Before I turn up some tunes, you have anything you want to tell your brother?” He glanced at Sam who was looking at him in wide-eyed panic. Sam shook his head rapidly but Gabriel gave him a nod and with his added supportive wink, Sam took a deep breath. He knew he wasn’t going to get out of it.

“What’s up, Sam?” Dean asked concerned.

“I know about you and Cas.” Sam informed quickly, knowing full well a buildup or an explanation wouldn’t help in any way.

Dean was instantly pissed, “Gabriel! What the fuck, man!?”

Castiel was drilling an evil glare into the back of his brother’s head and Anna was snickering.

Sam turned in his seat to face his brother. “Gabriel didn’t tell me shit, Dean! I saw you two, moron. Back at the house, you were making out in front of your bedroom window. Not like you were hiding it all that well.” Sam said sounding as annoyed as he felt.

Dean felt the blood rush out of him. His hands turning to ice and his teeth close to chattering. He was feeling caged all of the sudden and he was about to order Gabriel to pull the car over when Sam added, “I’m not going to tell anyone, Dean.” Sam watched as some color began to return to Dean’s face and Castiel was staring at Dean intently- worried

“But you did tell someone, Sam! You told _him_.” Dean pointed to Gabriel who looked about a thought away from breaking Dean’s finger.

“That was before I realized how important it was for you to keep it a secret. I know it’s ‘cause of dad and other people. Gabriel helped me see it like that so lay off of him. To me it’s different but it’s not a big deal so I didn’t realize.” Sam said looking at Gabriel before turning his attention back to fiddling with his zipper.

After a few moments of silence Dean finally stammered out, “So you- you’re not, freaked out?”

Sam shook his head, rolled his eyes and sighed, “No…just hurt you didn’t talk to me or nothin’. That’s all I guess. I get it, I do. I just don’t want you feeling like I’d ever judge you or would be angry or whatever.” Sam turned to him again and with perhaps the most awesome display of puppy dog eyes Dean had ever seen, Sam added, “You’re my brother.” like those three little words would explain everything.

Dean shifted in his seat, feeling a little exposed having a brother heart-to-heart in front of people they hadn’t known existed just four days ago. At the same time, he marveled at how easy it was. It was like these people had been in their lives since the beginning. Their acceptance and ease almost bordering on impossible. ‘ _Family doesn't end with blood, son’."_ Uncle Bobby would say that when they used to live with him and their dad would disappear for days on end. For the millionth time in the last three days, Dean wondered what in the hell was going on. This simply couldn’t be happening. His life was not known to harbor good things and for a small moment he allowed himself to believe he might be seeing a change in the tide.

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean said sincerely.

“Yeah. It’s okay Dean. Just- make it up to me by not acting like a spaz. This is our weekend of freedom and we might not get any more like it. So, no pretending like we usually have to do. I’m so sick of pretending.” Sam said and twisted back around to face the front. Gabriel looked at Sam curiously and Dean nodded. “Yeah, Sammy. Okay.” Dean smiled mischievously after a moment of silence then turned to Castiel who looked up and into his eyes.

“What?” Castiel asked and got his answer when Dean’s mouth was on his. Castiel was shocked at first but it quickly faded as he returned the kiss.

Gabriel glanced into his review mirror. “Oh, God.”

Anna laughed and lit a cigarette. Sam turned for a split second and rolled his eyes. “Ew, guys.”

Dean broke the kiss but not letting his gaze waver from Castiel’s. His hand was at the nape of Castiel’s neck and he pulled his forehead against his as his thumbs worked gentle caresses at the space just below Castiel’s ear. Castiel was smiling and feeling higher than any drug could ever take him. This was going to be a _damn_ great weekend.

Dean responded, “I’m just obeying your wishes, Sam. Being free an’ all.”

Sam didn’t turn back around as he said, “Dude, I didn’t mean I wanted to see your live action porno! I don’t need images of you doing it with _anyone_ seared into my brain.” He gave an animated shiver for emphasis.

Dean bit at Castiel’s bottom lip teasingly and Castiel licked over Dean’s upper lip.

“For fuck’s sake, you two!” Gabriel grumbled and turned the music on and the volume up. U2‘s _With or Without You_ was just starting and Castiel sat up straighter.

“I love this song. Turn it up more, Gabe.” Castiel ordered.

Gabriel complied with a, “Sometimes you actually have great tastes in music, bro. Shocking."

Castiel grunted and shook his head. He felt eyes on him and he turned to see Dean’s face lit with an amused grin and his head shaking back and forth.

Castiel asked, “What?” and felt the need to educate. “It’s a great song from a great album by a great band. You give credit where credit is due. Genre doesn’t determine great music; the music does.” he shrugged. Dean chuckled and rubbed his hand through his hair as a self-conscious look stretched over his features. Not in a million years would Dean admit to enjoying a band like U2 but with Castiel, he felt there was no need to impress or to hide anything. He simply replied, “Touché.”

Dean leaned in and began pecking noisy kisses on Castiel’s lips in time to every other beat, a very fun way to admit he knew the song and knew it by heart. Castiel smiled into his kisses, realizing what Dean was doing and he began to hum along to the lyrics against Dean’s well timed demonstrations. Playful kisses turned into a heavy petting and hums into moans rather quickly. Gabriel made the mistake of looking into his rear view again which resulted in Castiel and Dean being jerked away from each other as the car shifted violently right and then left before returning center. Dean and Castiel both shot Gabriel pissed stares.

“What the hell, Gabe?!" Castiel almost shouted.

Gabriel turned the radio down and answered, “You two fuckers are defeating my defrost, man, with your loud face eating and heavy breathing." Gabriel would have made suggestive arm and hand movements if one hand was not on the wheel- the other arm pinned down by Sam’s head. Sam had been sleeping against the window but when Gabriel shimmied the car, Sam’s head had shifted as well and came to rest on Gabriel’s shoulder. He knew he could have moved him but he just didn’t have the heart to. “Cut the dick groping contest until we get to the house. I mean, look at poor Anna, she’s traumatized."

Dean and Castiel’s eyes journeyed to Anna, expecting to see a stare much like a deer looking into head lights but instead, she appeared to have already put her cigarette out and fallen asleep with her head resting on the window. The jerking movement of the car hadn’t even fazed her.

Dean just laughed and felt he had dealt Gabriel enough payback anyway. Pressure he wasn’t aware he was feeling- released. He grabbed Castiel’s hand and pressed his lips to his open palm. Entwining their fingers, he placed their clasped hands into his lap. There was no hiding, no fear and no shame. For the first time since his mom died, Dean was genuinely happy.

 

~*~

Gabriel pulled into the driveway and stopping the car, he reached over to ruffle sleeping Sam’s hair. He woke barely and rubbed his eyes.

“We’re here, kid-o.” Gabriel said smiling over at Sam who was squinting back at him.

“Oh.” was his groggy reply.

Everyone else started making their way out of the car and staggering up to the front door. They filed through almost all at once. Anna said her good nights before heading up the stairs while Gabriel ushered Sam up the stairs behind her, telling him he was going to show him to his room and to not worry about his bag, that he would get it for him. That left Dean and Castiel at the bottom of the stairs.

“Let’s get your bag.” Castiel said to Dean while tugging him towards the family room where Dean and Sam had left them.

“So, where am I parking tonight?” Dean asked as he leaned over to pick up his duffel. He threw it over his shoulder just as Castiel responded, “My room.”

“Do you have a pull out bed?” Dean asked still adjusting his strap.

“No, we are sharing my bed.” Castiel replied matter-of-factly.

“Wait, your bed? You’re sure that’ll be okay?” Dean asked nervously. “I mean, with your family and all knowing we are like, doing stuff?”

Gabriel answered for his brother as he passed them, “What’s the big deal?” he shrugged. “You can’t knock Cassie up or anything. Though I’m sure you two will have fun trying.” He said with a wink and leaned over to pick up Sam’s bag.

“Gabriel!” Castiel nearly shouted, Dean’s eyes were wide and he was clearly just as horrified as Castiel.

Gabriel just laughed as he passed them. “Don’t get pissed at me. You two are the ones fucking. I’m just giving anatomical improbability reassurance.” he added as he ran up the stairs taking two at a time. When he was at the top he yelled down, “Night cap in ten minutes, my room!”

“Jesus.” Dean said out loud. “Your brother’s a dick.”

Castiel was still shaking his head back and forth in fringed disbelief. “I _did_ warn you.”

 

~*~

Thankfully Gabriel never said anything more vulgar or embarrassing while they sat on his bed going through Gabriel’s record collection and getting unbelievably high. Dean was impressed with most of the guy’s collection and actually started respecting him when he found The Blue Oyster Cult’s 1985 album in the stack. With Gabriel’s encouragement Dean put it into the player and put the needle down. After a few moments of scratching, _White Flags_ began to play and Dean nodded with a pleased look on his face as he sat down again. It was not long before Dean and Gabriel got into a very in depth discussion about the origins of the hook and cross symbol Blue Oyster Cult used on all their albums. Gabriel was impressed with Dean’s band knowledge and Dean was impressed by Gabriel’s knowledge of mythology, the occult and symbolism. By time the album was over, Castiel got up with an album of his own and placed the vinyl on the player. He chose his spot and it began to play Dio’s _A Rainbow in the Dark_.

“Great song but depressive shit, Cassie.” Gabriel said through the smoke filled room. “Oh God.” Gabriel said in his next breath and sat up from where he had been reclined. He pointed his joint at his brother like it was his index finger. “You’re going fuckin’ philosophical on us, aren’t you? Fuck.”

“I am not. I just felt like hearing this song.” Castiel said with a tilt of his head and a creased brow. “And I can relate to it.” He added as he was finishing up the last of what was now his third joint.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean said as he finished his third as well and stared at Castiel thoughtfully.

Gabriel’s glare went from Castiel to Dean and then back to Castiel again.

“Oh fuck Moses. You two shits outta my room!” Gabriel said with mock annoyance. When neither of them moved, Gabriel waved his hands at them. “Get! Go to Cassie’s room and listen to some _Fade to Black_ and fuckin’ drown in each other’s seas of woe or semen. Whatever. Just outta my room.”

Castiel stood up and threw Gabriel’s lighter at him which hit him in his groin.

“Ouch! Douche! Be glad you just hit the tip.” Gabriel exclaimed.

“Fuck you.” Castiel said as he was leaving.

Dean was starting to think he was in the midst of a real fight until Gabriel shouted at them, “Let’s go out for lunch tomorrow!”

Castiel yelled back, “All right.”

 

~*~

When they entered Castiel’s room, Castiel opened his closet. “Here, toss your bag in there.”

Dean did as instructed but whistled and said, “Dude, this closet is as big as my room.”

Castiel shrugged as he started taking off his clothes. Dean watched him, staring intensely at Castiel’s soon naked form. Castiel walked past him totally unashamed and into the closet. He grabbed a pair of sweat pants from a hanger then walked out and stood in front of Dean. He made no move to cover himself, a reefer induced smirk and squinted eyes watching him curiously. Dean swallowed and looked down the length of Castiel’s body. He was lean, toned, and the cuts of his muscles were doing something to Dean’s stomach. His skin tan and serving as an accent to what Dean determined to be a perfect body- _and fuckin help him -_ he was finally seeing Castiel’s dick clearly for the first time thanks to the overhead lights. He needed to make a list of things that amazed him the past three days because for the innumerable time, he was thoroughly shocked at his physical and even mental reaction to the teen in front of him. His own cock twitched in interest and Dean couldn’t help but think Castiel was perfect in every possible way.

Dean’s gaze finally made its way back up Castiel’s body and came to rest on his eyes.

“See something you like?” Castiel asked and his mouth curved in an amused smirk.

“Shut up.” Dean replied blushing but not moving.

“I want to see you.” Castiel said, the smile now gone and replaced with something fringing on hunger.

“What?” Dean replied nervously. The blush turning deeper shades of pink that even touched his ears.

“Take your clothes off, Dean.” Castiel commanded.

“Shit.” Dean said but proceeded to take his top tee-shirt off. It was only fair since he had practically groped Castiel with his eyes, but he was at the cusp of running into the closet, closing the door and locking it behind him. Taking one shirt off instead of both at the same time was delaying the inevitable and he was aware of that. He had never been this shy around chicks and guessed it had something to do with being aware that the same bullshit that would impress a girl just wasn’t going to impress a dude and- and what if Castiel didn’t like what he was seeing? - _screw it_ \- He tossed the shirt into the closet.

“Slower.” Castiel said as Dean was about to pull his second shirt up.

“Fuck, Cas.” was Dean’s response but he did as Castiel instructed. The whole time Castiel watched him and a few times his head tilted like Dean was a riddle that he had all intentions of solving. With all his clothes removed and tossed in the closet, Dean stood exposed before Castiel. Dean’s jaw twitched and he swallowed.

Castiel had never seen any body more perfect. His eyes didn’t even know where to begin. The way his body instantly responded to the cuts of Dean’s muscles, his tan skin, the glint of light hitting the blonde hairs on dean’s forearms, the perks of his nipples which Castiel wanted nothing more than to put his mouth on and lick. The thought of finding out what Dean tasted like sent pleasurable sensations pooling into his stomach. He knew he was just totally fuckin’ lost and he didn’t give a flying fuck.

“Anna’s right.” Castiel said with a smirk.

Dean wasn’t expecting that. “Anna. What?”

“I am extremely bi.” Castiel replied, smirk still in place, but his tone was more resolve rather than disappointment.

“Bi?” Dean asked, still not connecting the dots.

Castiel made an exaggerated facial expression that spoke, ‘ _Heeeeeelllllo!_ ’ and motioned with both hands for Dean to look down. Castiel’s nearly hard cock was pulsing between them. Dean’s own cock was excited by the sight obviously because it started hardening instantly.

“Oh.” He responded.

“Stop being nervous, Dean. You are an Adonis.” Castiel threw his sweats he had in his hand to the floor, abandoning them.

Dean huffed a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “An Adonis, huh? You know how gay that sounds right?” Dean turned to make his way to the closet to find some boxers.

“So says the boy who’s been rutting against another boy for the last couple of days.” Castiel replied.

“Touché.” Dean said not turning around.

Castiel reached out and took a hold of Dean’s wrist and Dean turned to him then with a questioning glare.

“No clothes.”

“You mean, like, lay in the bed naked?” Dean asked wide-eyed.

“That is the general idea.” Castiel chuckled and started pulling Dean from the closet and toward the bed.

Once there, Castiel pulled the thick blanket and sheet back. He turned on the lamp and flicked the switch to the overhead light, both of which were next to the bed. He still had hold of Dean’s wrist as he turned to him locking his eyes onto Dean’s before backed up into the bed. Still holding onto Dean’s wrist, he scooted to the far side of the bed allowing Dean room.

Dean never took his eyes off Castiel’s as he climbed into the bed on his knees first. His heart started hammering in excitement and he wondered if every time they did this it would feel this exciting? Was every kiss, every touch, every taste going to cause his body to react in an intensity it never had before? As high as he was, this moment was crystal clear and in sharp focus.

Dean laid on his side propped up on his elbow and Castiel’s eyes still latched on Dean’s as he reached for the blankets throwing them over the both of them from the waist down. Dean reached up with his free hand and cupped the side of Castiel’s face, the pad of his thumb rubbing gentle strokes back and forth on Castiel’s temple.

Castiel smiled and Dean smiled back as they both leaned in at the same time, lips coming together teasingly and tender. Castiel licked over Dean’s lips and Dean opened to him. Castiel’s very experienced tongue filled Dean’s mouth and were doing amazing things to the insides. Dean moaned deep when Castiel sucked on his tongue as he tried to devour Castiel in a fruitless effort to take back the control. Castiel rolled on top of Dean which Dean relented to despite his plans otherwise. He allowed himself to be pinned under Castiel, his back pressing into the mattress under the weight of their entanglement.

Castiel broke away from Dean’s mouth adding a nip to Dean’s chin before devoting his lips and tongue to the line of Dean’s jaw. Castiel relished the flavors of Dean which was salt and skin. The scent of him purely male with a mixture of weed, leather and sex. It made his eyes roll towards the back of his head; he smelled that fucking good. Castiel kissed, licked and suckled his way down one side of his jaw and then down the other. Dean tilted his head back to allow Castiel more access, which he took without pause. The sensations were so perfect that Dean groaned out “ _Cas...”_ before thrusting his painfully hard cock upwards. It rubbed against the warmth of Castiel’s stomach as he continued his descent downwards.

Castiel trailed his tongue down Dean’s chest and licked his way over to Dean’s nipple. His tongue licking a circle over it before pulling it into his mouth.

Dean bucked again, “Shit.” Dean’s hands instinctively finding their way to Castiel’s hair and when Dean lifted his head to look at what Castiel was doing, he glared back with dark eyes, his pupils swallowing the blue. Castiel continued to suck and flick his tongue for a moment more before trailing his tongue to the neglected nipple, still staring into Dean’s eyes as he did so. Dean shivered and when Castiel finally took his eyes off Dean, he took the other nipple in his mouth. Dean threw his head back into the pillow with his hands still in Castiel’s hair, making firm massaging motions with his fingers in time to Castiel’s sucking and flicks.

After a moment more, Castiel moved his mouth from the thoroughly pleased nipple and began kissing down Dean’s stomach. It took a moment through the sex haze for Dean to realize what Castiel was doing and he began to get nervous.

“Cas?” Dean said as he cupped Castiel’s face in both hands and tilted it up to meet Dean’s gaze. “Hey, Cas.”

Castiel looked concerned as he moved back up Dean’s body and settled face to face above him. “What is wrong, Dean?” his tone thick with pleasure and the sound of it made Dean’s dick pulse between them.

“You- you don’t have to do that.” Dean said breathlessly.

Castiel reached between them and took a hold of Dean’s cock and Dean thrust up into the closed fist. Castiel pumped once before allowing his fingers to do something amazing over Dean’s crown and fingering his slit that was wet with pre-cum. Castiel used the wetness to smooth the circling of his rim of his crown and Dean moaned as he bit his lower lip.

Castiel finally assured, “I want to. I want to know what you taste like.”

Dean nearly came right then, “Fuck, Cas!” Dean chuckled shaking his head back and forth. “You go from shy to porn star in 60 seconds. What the hell?” He looked at the ceiling and swallowed before bringing his eyes back to bare on Castiel. Dean’s smile fell and the nervousness was back though Castiel’s hand was still slowly jacking Dean off. He was doing a fantastic job of distracting him from total panic and Dean’s hips moved of their own accord now in lazy thrusts and sways.

“I’ve never-” Dean started but his breath hitched at a particularly masterful stroke from Castiel. “I’ve never had that done before.”

Castiel stopped his motions and Dean growled his displeasure, as Castiel said in a low voice, “You have got to be kidding me?”

Dean merely shook his head back and forth rapidly.

“Well, lucky me. I have never given head to a guy before so you will have no one to compare me to if I am awful at it.” Castiel said with a smirk and a wink. “But I won’t if it’s not something you want.”

Dean shook his head again and then lifted it to kiss Castiel and he leaned into it. It was brief and Dean let his head fall back to the pillow. He let his hand feather through Castiel’s hair and the affection that was coming from Dean’s features made Castiel’s heart flip in his chest.

“I want to. I’ve just never- and I- I don’t want you feeling like you have to or anything.” Dean said.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up so I can get my mouth on your dick already.”

Dean laughed and Castiel did as well as he made quick kisses down Dean’s chest and stomach in a rush to get back to where he had stopped.

Dean took a deep breath and blew it out trying to steady his nerves. _‘This is really going to fuckin’ happen!’_ was his mantra as Castiel took his cock in his hand to brace it as his tongue did a delicious single long lick from the base to the tip. Castiel lapped the droplet of Dean that had emerged and he moaned like it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

Dean thought he was going to die from the shear physical pleasure and mental fuck of those simple actions. He bucked against Castiel’s tongue and when Castiel went back for another swipe of his tongue, he licked his balls as well.

“Shit.” Dean said breathlessly.

Castiel took the base of Dean’s cock into a fist and commanded, “Look at me, Dean.”

Dean tilted his head up off the pillow, his mouth open as he looked down the line of his body. He watched as Castiel kept his eyes connected with his while his mouth slid over and down Dean’s cock perfectly. The sounds that Dean heard coming from his own throat as he came unglued, surprised him but it fueled Castiel so he didn’t hold them back.

As Castiel came back up, his tongue pressed against the back side of Dean’s length and as he crest the head, his tongue swirled the rim and licked the slit. His firm grip around Dean’s cock mirroring the upward motion.

Dean saw sparks behind his eyelids as they closed of their own accord and his head fell back. His legs twitched involuntarily. “Oh, God.” He managed to say before Castiel copied the same technique he had used coming up, to go back down except now his cheeks where hallowed by the suction he was applying.

More of Dean’s pre-cum came forward and slicked over the surface of Castiel’s tongue. If this was a shadow of what Dean’s cum would taste like, Castiel was totally on board. The way Dean’s body was withering under his hand and mouth was crazy addictive. He could literally do this all night but Dean’s balls were starting to draw up so he knew Dean wasn’t going to last but a few more dives. He wanted to make it worth his and Dean’s wild so Castiel pulled his other hand around a cupped Dean’s balls massaging them with deft movements of his fingers.

Dean’s hips literally came up off the bed and back down again. “Fuck, Cas!”

Castiel moaned as Dean’s cock hit the back of his throat and though there was a slight gag, Castiel found he didn’t mind so much. Going down again he relaxed the muscles in his throat and never gagged again as he took him all the way down.

“Jesus fuckin- Cas I’m going to...” Dean lifted his head and locked eyes on Castiel’s again and he came with a shout of ' _fuck!_ ’ before throwing his head back again.

Dean’s essence pumped out with each pulse of his orgasm and Castiel let the tangy fluid fill his mouth. As strange as it should have seemed, Dean tasted like Dean and there was something sacrosanct in swallowing him down. He continued to pull and suck making sure he got every last drop like his life depended on it.

When Dean was empty, Castiel moved up the length of his body until his lips were on Dean’s. Dean probably should have been disgusted by tasting and smelling himself on Castiel’s mouth and tongue but he actually found it a turn on and even hotter was the fact Castiel had swallowed him. The kiss ended and Castiel laid his head on Dean’s chest, which was still rapid in its up and down motion.

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel and kissed the top of his head. “That was unbelievable.” Dean said. “How’d you know what the fuck to do?”

“I’ve had it done to me. Though honestly, I gave it to you how I wished I had gotten it. You have no clue how frustrating it is to be getting a bad or so-so blowjob. You don’t want to hurt the feelings of the chick giving it by telling her what she is doing wrong and how to do it better.” Castiel said matter-of-factly.

Dean rubbed Castiel’s arm with the back of his fingers in a gentle back and forth motion. “Yeah. I’d guess that would be rough.” Dean put his other hand behind his pillow. “Do you still need to go?”

Castiel shook his head and kissed the area of Dean’s chest that rested next to his mouth. “No. To be honest, I’m perfectly fine right here.” Castiel put his hand on Dean’s chest feeling the steady thumping of Dean’s heart under his palm. A few moments later they were both asleep.


	4. December 17, 1988 (Saturday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are to lay off Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak. You are to leave Dean to your brother and Novak is my concern.” The Draco informed in an even tone and opened the ledger again.
> 
> “I don’t understand. Why?” Crowley said but what he really wanted to ask was, _‘What the fuck is so important about two middle school annoyances?’_
> 
> Draco looked up and the glare he was giving Crowley turn his blood to ice. Alastair was the one who answered, “Our father fucked up a job and it falls on us to clean it up. You have your duty and I have mine. That’s all you need to know, Brother.”
> 
> Crowley nodded, his eyes scanning around the room before falling on the Draco’s glare which was still on him. Without prompt Draco informed, “The Novaks' are an influential family and need to be handled in a manner that only I can execute _personally_. The reasons are of no concern to you. Ask _‘why’_ again to anything I request of you and you will pray I had simply cut out your tongue by time I’m through with you. Do we understand each other?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a forewarning for this chapter: sexual abuse and incest are heavily implied.

##  December 17, 1988 ( _Saturday_ )

 

Dean awoke reaching his hand over to the side of the bed Castiel had slept on, finding it empty and cold. He wondered what time it was but if the light coming from the window was any clue, it was close to noon. Dean made a long but silent yawn and stretched while the memories of the last twenty four hours seeped in by increments. It started with the more recent events which caused Dean to smile towards the ceiling full of stars and accumulated a blush. _‘Jesus Christ. I’m growing chick parts.'_

The thoughts then trickled to when they had arrived which in turn reminded him that today was the last day before having to return to the real world where he and Castiel were just friends. The last day before he went back to pretending everything inside him was okay and he would try to be the man his dad needed him to be. Strong, always strong in a world where what Dean wanted was irrelevant. ‘ _The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few’_. Yeah, he so totally quoted Spock from the _Wrath of Khan_. That movie kicked ass.

The smile slipped from his face as weighted thoughts settled into him. Thoughts that his life was not his own and by some cruel twist of fate or some killjoy of a God, he had to be someone he wasn’t to make sure others were happy. There’s nothing worse to him than to let others down, especially his dad or his brother.

Dean let the pads of his fingers trace over the spot on his chest where Castiel’s hand had rested just hours before and his smile returned faintly. He turned his head and looked around the room, taking in what he had been too tired and high to notice before. The room seemed larger than it had last night and full of personal things. A stark contrast to Dean’s own room which was small and nearly empty. The longest wall of the room had built in shelving from floor to ceiling that stretched from one end of the room to the other. The shelves were filled with pictures, assorted knickknacks and what had to be hundreds of books. Dean tossed back the blankets, stood and after rubbing sleep from his eyes, padded over to the closet. He ruffled through his bag for some boxers and pulling them on, made his way to the wall of shelves.

He noticed right away that Castiel had meticulously organized the books. Fiction on one side and nonfiction on the other. They had been separate by genre, further filed by series, and then by authors last name. Dean chuckled and shook his head. He shouldn’t have put it past Castiel to be completely uptight about the things he valued.

He then glanced at the pictures in simple frames that were scattered all over the shelving. A few had people Dean didn’t recognize and a handful were of famous people, a few of which had signatures on the images. He nearly screamed when he saw the picture of a younger Castiel standing beside Sigourney Weaver smiling and the actress was clearly hugging him like she knew him instead of like he was some random fan. The message on the picture read:

_**Cas** _

_**What a brilliant and soulful young man you are! *see back*** _

_**XOX- Sigourney** _

Dean looked around him making sure no one was walking in on him as he took the frame down. He turned it over in his hands and undid the three latches in the back. He gently pulled the cardboard and felt backing off and read:

_**If there is one thing to take from these past few weeks, I would hope it would be to follow your heart. Even when it doesn’t always feel so great. The payoff is almost always WORTH it. Stay in touch!** _

Dean’s mouth was gaped open as he read over the words a few more times. ‘Cas knows _Sigourney fuckin’ Ripley fuckin’ Weaver?!’_

Dean was still standing completely stunned when he felt warm arms wrap around his ribs and hands touching his chest from behind him. Dean jumped and nearly dropped the frame.

“Shit, Cas!” He chuckled then and turned his head slightly as a chin rested on Dean’s shoulder and the beginnings of light stubble rub against his cheek. “You’re trying to give me a heart attack.” Dean said as he turned his attention to putting the frame back together and placing it back on the shelf just as he had found it. It didn’t pass Dean’s attention that Castiel’s embrace mirrored the one from his nightmare and goose bumps began to rise on his arms but he ignored it. It was just a stupid fucking dream.

“At your age, I highly doubt that is even probable.” Cas answered. Dean could tell he was smiling.

“Yeah. Well.” Was Dean’s only response.

Castiel gave Dean a warm but brief squeeze before kissing Dean’s neck in a quick peck and unwrapped his arms from around him. Dean felt the sense of loss immediately and before Dean could turn around, Castiel slapped him hard on his right ass cheek. Dean jolted from the sharp pain and whipped around. Castiel’s retreating form was almost at the door and without turning around informed, “You slept through breakfast. Out to lunch in forty five minutes.” He finally stopped and turned to Dean, “I washed your clothes from last night and put them in the chair.”

Dean glanced over to the chair beside the bed and found his clothes thrown neatly over the back of it.

“You didn’t need to do that, Cas.” Dean stated the obvious and Castiel nearly rolled his eyes.

“There was- evidence- of our extracurricular activities all over everything.” Castiel said.

Dean’s nose crinkled as he squinted in disgust.

“Yeah, exactly. Plus, I really like the way you looked in that shirt.” Castiel added.

“No way! A Metallica fan too?” Dean asked in both disbelief and hope.

“Well, I’m more of a Megadeth fan but I do enjoy Metallica, yes. The irony of _Master of Puppets_ is something I can agree on. And, well, I meant the shirt looks really good on you.” Castiel answered and blushed before he turned to leave. This time he disappeared, right before he could see Dean’s own blush. He headed for Castiel’s shower rubbing the spot on his ass which was still on fire.

 

　

~*~

They reached The Roadhouse and took the booth towards the back. The Roadhouse was a popular local family style restaurant owned by Jo’s mother, Ellen Harvelle. As Castiel had learned from Jo, it used to be a bar until Jo’s father was shot and killed by a drunk when Jo was just a baby.

On the way there, Dean had told them that it took Ellen a long time to pick the pieces back up but when she did, she did in a fury. The business was booming and she cooked up the best burgers Dean had personally ever tasted but that wasn’t what he was going for this time around. Breakfast with extra bacon and pancakes was a must and he was glad The Roadhouse served breakfast all day long.

Dean slid into the booth first and his brother beside him. On the opposite side Castiel slid in first, then Anna and then Gabriel. It had been Dean’s idea to come here and with Sam’s enthusiastic backup it was all it had taken to convince the Novaks' they wouldn’t be disappointed.

A waitress with _Brittany_ on her name tag came up to them, handed out menus and smiled at them pleasantly. “Hi guys. What will you be having to drink?"

Four orders of coffee and one coke went out and she laughed, “Long night?"

Gabriel looked up at her, “You have no idea."

“I might. Ash’s party, right?" She said a little lower.

“Jesus, is Ash like the most popular stoner of our generation?" Anna said with her eyes wide as she continued looking over the menu.

Brittany smiled shyly and sighed before replying, “Something like that.”

Both Castiel and Gabriel arched a single brow at the same time and Brittany took that moment to leave for their drinks.

“I think you have competition, Gabe.” Castiel noted from behind his menu.

Gabriel scoffed, “Ash can have his fair share. It was his town to begin with…except for the Della twins. They are _mine_. “ Gabriel whistled.

“Nice objectification there, Gabe.” Anna said as she put her menu down. “I’m sure they would be pleased to know they are _'yours_ ’. Being reduced to property is always a turn on.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Oh, here we go.”

Castiel cut in, still looking at his menu, “Guys, not today.”

Anna and Gabriel replied at the same time, “He/She started it!”

Brittany was back and passed out their drinks. “Are you ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?” She smiled as she took a pen and pad from her apron and held it before her.

Everyone nodded and they began with Anna. When all the orders were taken, Brittany looked up. “How should I split the order?”

Gabriel answered, “One check’ll be fine. Thanks.”

Brittany wrote something down and left again.

Dean and Sam were both looking at Gabriel with wide eyes and gapped mouths.

“What?” Gabriel asked looking at Sam.

“You’re paying for _all_ of us?” Sam asked.

“Uh, yeah?” Gabriel’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Dude! That ticket’s going to be an easy forty bucks! That’s not even counting the tip.” Dean said.

“I’m still not following- _wait_.” Gabriel looked over Anna to glare at Castiel, “They don’t know?”

Castiel looked sheepishly at Gabriel and answered, “I was trying to not illicit special treatment or further alienation since moving here, Gabe. So, no.” Castiel was looking very annoyed that the subject was even being broached.

Anna looked sympathetically at Castiel. “Same here, Cassie.”

“What don’t we know?” Sam asked before sipping on his coke.

Gabriel frowned realizing he might have made Castiel’s weekend even further complicated but the truth was, they were going to find out eventually. He was actually a little surprised their dad hadn’t dug up the information already but then again, the cop trusted his sons with the Novaks'. The biggest clue their dad hadn’t dug deep enough was in the fact Dean and Sam where here to have this conversation in the first place.

Gabriel answered in a low voice while still looking at Castiel. “Our family is loaded….like, billionaire kind of loaded. Forty bucks might as well be four cents.”

Sam’s mouth let go of the straw and he smiled wide, “Wow!”

Dean shifted and cleared his throat before saying, “Well, thanks anyway, Gabriel.” Dean was trying to process the shock of what Gabriel had just said. He had figured their family was well off but it never occurred to him they were well above ever having to want for another thing for the rest of their lives. It made Dean suddenly feel smaller even though their family knew how little he and Sam had but still wanted them around. They had yet to make them feel as if they were ‘ _less_ ’.

Gabriel turned his eyes from his brother finally to Dean. “Yeah. No problem.” He replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just uh, let’s keep the ‘ _billionaire_ ’ part between our little group here.”

Anna added with an annoyed quick glance to Gabriel, “Yeah, ‘cause the whole point of us moving here was to stay under the radar.”

Gabriel sighed, “Sorry. Just figured if they were going to be hanging out with us a lot, they should know. Didn’t realize Castiel would have a problem with them knowing, especially Dean.

“It’s fine.” Castiel said and sighed.

Dean looked at Castiel who had turned to look out the window. He heard what Castiel had said- what his reasons were for not saying anything before and Dean got it. He could see the potential for a problem, like not knowing if someone wanted to be your friend because you were rich or being treated like you were different because everyone else wasn’t loaded? Neither of which would be coming from Dean’s corner. It didn’t make him feel any different about the Novaks, especially Castiel. It also helped that Castiel didn’t seem like the sort to brag about being rich or treat others who were not differently. Dean stretched his leg out under the table and tapped Castiel’s foot with his own.

Castiel turned from the window looking first at table like he could see his foot through it, and then slowly allowed his gaze to meet Dean’s. Dean gave Castiel a small smile and Castiel returned it, searching Dean’s eyes for a hint of what he was thinking. Instead of any of his worst fears, all Castiel saw was plenty of the same before Dean knew anything. Nothing had changed and Castiel let out a small breath, relieved. Dean moved his foot to rub Castiel’s calf for a moment before returning his foot to rest beside Castiel’s where it remained even when Brittany returned with their food.

To Dean’s pleasure, all three Novaks' looked completely satisfied with their food as they dug in. Gabriel, with his platter of fries that he would dip into his chocolate shake like anyone else would ketchup. Sam, with his natural curiosity watched him intently.

“Does that even taste good?” Sam asked and Gabriel smirked. “It’s the only way to eat fries. Here.” He said and handed one to Sam. Sam stared at the fry for a moment too long.

“Go on Sam. Give into the temptation. I will never lie to you. If I say it’s good you can trust it’s the best damn thing you’ve ever put your lips around.”

Dean’s eyes shot up from the sausage between his lips to Gabriel and bit down, self-consciously chewing as he watched his brother reach over to dip the fry into Gabriel’s shake.

“Wait.” Gabriel said and Sam paused his forward motion. “Fold the fry in half for spooning.”

Dean nearly choked and coughed a few times. _Was Gabriel intentionally trying to turn everything into a sexual innuendo or was it just all in his head?_

Sam did as instructed, dipping his fry in then pulled it back with a heap of chocolate shake rather than just a dip.

“Thata’ boy, Sambo. Go for broke.” Gabriel encouraged and chuckled.

Sam put the fry and heap of shake in his mouth and began chewing. His eyes closed for a second as an “Mmmmm!” came from him and he opened his eyes looking at Gabriel with a wide grin as he continued to chew.

“See? Told you.” Gabriel said as he waved at Brittany who was coming in their direction.

“Can I get you something else?” She asked.

“Yeah. Another chocolate shake please and can you get it for me in the largest glass you have?” Gabriel asked.

“Well, yours is the largest we have but we do have large cup-like containers in the back that we use for soup carryout. Would that be okay?” She asked.

“Perfect! And another order of fries too.” Gabriel replied.

“Sure thing!” She said and left.

Sam was literally bouncing in his seat when she returned and put the container that was nearly triple the size of Gabriel’s shake, in front of him followed by the platter of fries.

Gabriel winked at him when Sam glanced up.

“You’re awesome, Gabe!” Sam exclaimed.

“Thanks, kidd-o.” Gabriel replied with genuine warmth and a bit of modesty that looked a little odd on the likes of Gabriel. He wasn’t used to the adoration Sam was handing out in bucket loads.

Dean was watching the interaction curiously, as was Castiel. Sam started enthusiastically by taking two fries at a time and scooping into his gigantic shake.

Gabriel looked impressed. “Damn, Sambo. Already improving on my methods. Color me impressed!"

Sam simply chuckled through a mouthful. Gabriel was giving Sam the same look that he had last night, like the boy was the most interesting person he had ever met.

Castiel’s voice shook Dean from his observations. “Dean, you were right.”

Dean turned to him as Castiel was shoving in the last bite of his burger. “What’s that, Cas?

“These _are_ the best burgers I have ever tasted.” Castiel replied over the mouthful. “It made me very happy.”

Dean watched the pleasure on Castiel’s face and it instantly reminded Dean of his cock in Castiel’s mouth and the enthusiasm in which he had swallowed him down. Dean shifted, blinked and cleared his throat. Castiel squinted at him, questioningly as he wiped his hands on a napkin. Dean simply answered with a nod which made Castiel’s head tilt.

“Hey guys!” Jo called out as she shoved a box under the bar and walked around it make her way to their table.

“Hey Jo!” Dean greeted her, “Didn’t know you’d be here today.”

Anna noted how Gabriel sat up straighter and she nearly snickered out loud.

“Yeah, Mom needed help with inventory. So whatcha guys up to today?” She asked as she scooted into the space Dean and Sam had made for her to sit down.

“Thinking of having a bonfire thing tonight. Wanna come?” Gabriel offered.

Jo shot Gabriel one of her smiles that Dean swears lights up the entire room and he smiled even though it wasn’t aimed at him. That’s exactly how infectious it was.

“I’d love too but can’t.” She lowered her voice, “Mom found out about the missing boxes and grounded my ass.”

“Ouch!” Dean said but added, “The whiskey was great, though.”

Jo laughed, “Yeah well, it was worth it. I had a great time.” She looked at Gabriel and the look of disappointment didn’t escape her notice. She reached out and tapped his hand bringing Gabriel’s eyes to hers. “Rain check?”

Gabriel brightened at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be awesome.” The distinct flutter in his stomach gave him pause. ‘ _What the fuck was that?_ ’

“Jo!” Ellen’s voice sounded out over the jukebox. She was a small woman but if Dean was honest, she scared the shit out of him. “Say bye to your friends and get back to helping Rufus unload the truck.”

“Yeah, okay Mom.” She said back and turned to Gabriel to send him a wink and another bright smile before saying, “Later, guys.” as she exited the booth.

Gabriel slumped while letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and Anna laughed, “Wow.”

“What?” Gabriel asked her.

“I think you actually like her and I don’t mean in the way you like your other lady friends.” Anna replied before taking a sip of her coffee.

Gabriel screwed his face up, “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sis.”

Anna rolled her eyes, “Yeah, okay, Gabe.”

The waitress returned and asked, “Ready for your check?” Gabriel was never more relieved to have a moment interrupted.

“That’ll be great. A to-go box too?” Gabriel asked.

“Sure! Here ya go.” Brittany said as she wrote on her pad and tore a sheet from the rest. She slipped it towards Gabriel with it facing down and walked away. Gabriel picked up the ticket, looked at it and without making a face of any kind, he reached into his back pocket for his wallet, plopping down two hundred dollar bills on top of it.

“Sis, you got a pen?” Gabriel asked.

Anna obviously knew what was up because she rolled her eyes and reached into her purse. After a little shuffling she located a pen and handed it to him.

“Thanks!” Gabriel said as he took it and proceeded to write his phone number on the back of the ticket with his first name over it. Just under it he wrote: _‘Keep the change and buy yourself something nice.’_

Castiel chuckled and shook his head while Dean marveled at Gabriel’s bravado and the amount of cash he was just giving away. When Brittany returned, Gabriel handed her the money and the ticket without saying a word. She looked down at the money and read the ticket. Her mouth opened, stunned and then she smiled shyly.

“Are you serious?!” She asked.

“Very.” Gabriel said as he scooted out and stood.

“All right.” She said and walked away with a smile still plastered on her face.

“So much for letting Ash keep the spoils of his reputation.” Castiel said as Brittany disappeared.

“Listen, I’m just leading the horses to the water. I’m not the one forcing them to drink it.” Gabriel replied smugly.

Anna stood up and Castiel was scooting out behind her. Dean and Sam were already standing.

“Women are not horses.” Anna refuted.

“For fuck’s sakes, guys.” Castiel said as he started pushing his siblings towards the exit.

 

~*~

Crowley meandered into his brother’s office. His brother had plenty of such offices all over the place in the States and this specific one was located at the back of an obscure bar in an industrial corner of town. It wasn’t his brother’s usual place to perch but this town was small and there was a greater need to mole away these days. Crowley had been using it as his own headquarters unless his brother was in town. Over the last few years though, it had become more his space than Alastair’s, something Alastair was quick to note when he showed up the day before and told his brother to clear out everything that belonged to him. He knew better than to argue with him over the space. The hassle of broken bones, getting fucked in the mouth or worse, wasn’t worth it. Crowley was looking at the figures on his note pad and frowned at his quota. He sighed dramatically. Alastair wasn’t going to be pleased.

“There a problem?” Alastair asked without looking up from the ledger he was reading. His voice was wise guy-ish like he had dug it up from a Dick Tracy film, with a lisp. There was no hint of the accent Crowley or their sister Bela carried. It wasn’t always so; Alastair changed it to mimic their father’s since he idolized the man with almost a religious fever. It was an idolization they didn’t share though. Crowley hated their father almost as much as he hated his brother.

Glancing at the cover, Crowley realized it was his ledger and he frowned even deeper. He glanced from the ledger in front of his brother to his note pad and then to his brother again before tossing the note pad on top of the desk, where it skidded just under Alastair’s nose. His brother looked up at him and Crowley threw himself into the chair in front of the desk.

“The profits are shit. The fuckin Cocos are putting pressure on our clientele and arresting the lot of our workforce.” Crowley shifted in his seat, yanking his tweed jacket up from under his ass. “Fucking Winchesters. All the souls in this city were mine until they came galloping into the picture like white knights in shining fucking armor.”

“Your souls?" Alastair asked as he picked up the note pad and looked it up and down, pretending to take interest in what was written there before throwing it into the trash can with a flip of his wrist.

Crowley looked at him and his brow tightened. There was a threat in his brother’s tone and Crowley heeded it. “My apologies. I meant _yours,_ Alastair.” It was then he noticed movement behind his brother. A figure stepped forward from out of the darkness. He was blonde, his hair tousled in a familiar way though Crowley couldn’t quite place why it was familiar. The man's steel blue eyes glinting despite the low light. His height was slightly shorter than his brother but about the same age, late thirties. His hands were behind him and seemed contemplative but the way his eyes settled on Crowley? It was like he was this man’s dinner and it unsettled him more than he wanted to let on.

“Who the fuck is this?” Crowley asked his brother and slightest of a smirk that Alastair always had painted on his mouth faded but the glare toward him from the other man never wavered.

“The person you’re so eloquently foul mouthing is Draco.” His brother lisped.

“Bloody hell.” Crowley replied. “My apologies. I- I didn’t realize.” Crowley stammered as his blood proceeded to run cold.

Alastair cackled at his brother’s panic. Draco smiled and he looked every bit like the beast of his name sake.

“No, it’s quite all right.” Draco replied. “So long as we are on the same page. Should it happen again- particularly your insubordinate tone, I’ll command your brother here to put a bullet between your neatly plucked brows.” His tone was as at ease as if he had been talking about the weather.

Crowley glared at his brother wide eyed and he was greeted with a sneer that nearly turned his insides to stone. Alastair would do what Draco commanded, there was no doubt in his mind.

Draco turned his glare from Crowley to the ledger on the table. “Fortunately for you, Crowley, you are a prodigy and good at business. Is this ledger your work?” He asked as he picked up the book and started flipping through the pages. His bottom lip worked its way out in what appeared to be a pout. Crowley doubted that the pout was due to disappointment because if there was one thing Crowley was good at, it was business. He sat up straighter, jutting out his chin in pride.

“Yes, Draco. It’s my work.”

Crowley jumped as Draco slammed the cover of the ledger closed and threw it onto the table top. The man was looking down his nose at Crowley and the predatory gaze was back as the man folded his arms in front of his chest.

“I told you, Draco. My brother is the best.” Alastair added and stood. He moved around the desk to stand beside his brother. Crowley looked at him nervously and then back to the other man.

“Hmmm.” Draco said tapping his pouting lower lip. He looked at the ground as he walked around the table and stood in the small space between the desk and Crowley’s knees. Crowley was eye level with the man’s crotch and he wondered if that was the point. A small dosage of domination which was how he heard Draco played things, much like Crowley’s brother and his father before them. He was preparing for Draco to unzip his pants and order Crowley to get to work but instead he said, “You can raise your head. I wish to bless you.”

Crowley allowed his gaze to hover upwards until his eyes met the steely blues of the man in front of him. “You will begin working for me as your brother has for all these years and your father before him. Alastair sits at my right side and I wish to sit you to my left. I need a man of your talents. The branch of my business in trafficking-” Draco smiled and having found the right word, continued, “- _souls_ has grown beyond anything I had ever dared hoped. I need someone who can command respect, is talented in business and can be innovative when I ask it of him.”

Crowley swallowed hard. This wasn’t something to be particularly overjoyed about at first glance. Working for Draco on his pet project, which had turned blasphemously profitable, was something to respectably fear. If Crowley fucked anything up, he was a dead man but if he lived up to the man’s expectations, he wouldn’t just be a very rich man but also respected in ways only his father Azazel and later, his brother Alastair were. Their father had been dead for several years and his name still commanded respect. It was that respect Crowley most craved and he would do anything for it- to prove himself worthy. It outweighed the fear of failure once his mind started wrapping itself around the potential for success.

Draco sneered as if knowing the teen’s thoughts. Draco knew well the sinful nature of mankind and exploiting it was what made him a god among the debauched and depraved. Pride, Draco knew, was this boy’s deadly sin and he had just the right triggers to get what he wanted out of him.

“I- It would be my pleasure, Draco.” Crowley said and he meant it.

The man uncrossed his arms and rested one heavy hand on Crowley’s shoulder. He could almost swear the touch felt blistering cold even through the fabric of his shirt and jacket.

“Except, I also need someone who can kill for me without hesitation. Take souls rather than just gather and twist them into what I need.” Draco added.

Crowley looked at his brother nervously but his brother simply continued smiling down at him. Crowley was smart and a good reader of people. He also knew his brother. He knew Alastair and Draco already had someone in mind and he was pretty sure who it would be.

“Who are you wanting to off?” he asked anyway.

Alastair spoke this time, “You know who, Crowley.”

“Detective Winchester?” Crowley asked aghast. Usually how this worked was threats, pressure, blackmail and beating a man to a month’s stay in a hospital. Not murder and surely, not murdering a cop.

“I take it the detective has something on you then, eh? Something a little more than extortion, drugs and racketeering.” Crowley asked his brother pointedly.

His brother’s features shifted from power to vulnerability and then to something that made Crowley flinch before Alastair’s hand came down in a back handed blow to Crowley’s face.

Crowley groaned into the force against his cheek and felt the sharp pain as his brother’s ring tore flesh open. Crowley didn’t touch it, though, or make any motion to show weakness. It would have earned him another blow or a brutal fucking later. He looked up at his brother who was looking in control again.

It was Draco who spoke next, “John Winchester is picking at his scabs, digging into something he should have let stayed long buried. If he finds the missing piece to the puzzle, the answer to his inquest? Your brother will be going down and taking me and eventually all of this with him.” Draco informed, holding up his hands wide at his side indicating not just the room but literally everything they had worked for. “And you, Crowley, will not be safe from the purge. You’ll be cast into the pit right along with the rest of us.”

Draco could tell he had earned Crowley’s respect of the situation and continued, “So, as an offering for what I’m so gracious to give to you, you are to kill Winchester. When it is done, there can be no way for it to be traced back to your brother or myself. If it is, your life is forfeit and I will make sure you suffer before I put a bullet in your head myself. Do we understand each other?” Draco leaned in, the weight of his presence nearly suffocating and Crowley fought the urge to move away.

“Yes, Draco.” Crowley said trying hard not to look into his eyes.

The man smiled but he was still in Crowley’s personal space, his breath hitting Crowley’s face in puffs which cooled the blood that had drained from the wound on his cheek.

“You are to wait for my order. Plot and plan, but make no moves until I tell you to.”

“Yes, Draco.” Crowley answered.

The man leaned back and stood tall again. “There’s one more thing.” He said as he made his way back around to the desk and sat down.

“Anything.” Crowley said and meant it.

“You are to lay off Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak. You are to leave Dean to your brother and Novak is _my_ concern.” The Draco informed in an even tone and opened the ledger again.

“I don’t understand. Why?” Crowley said but what he really wanted to ask was, ‘ _What the fuck is so important about two middle school annoyances?_ ’

Draco looked up and the glare he was giving Crowley turn his blood to ice. Alastair was the one who answered, “Our father fucked up a job and it falls on us to clean it up. You have your duty and I have mine. That’s all you need to know, Brother.”

Crowley nodded, his eyes scanning around the room before falling on the Draco’s glare which was still on him. Without prompt Draco informed, “The Novaks' are an influential family and need to be handled in a manner that only I can execute _personally_. The reasons are of no concern to you. Ask ‘ _why_ ’ again to anything I request of you and you will pray I had simply cut out your tongue by time I’m through with you. Do we understand each other?”

 

~*~

John watched his boys climb into the car with the Novaks from under the cloak of oaks that bordered the property. As he watched the car make its way down the drive, he shivered against the frigid wind and debated with himself over what he was about to do. Breaking and entering wasn’t what cops did but he was not here in the capacity of a cop. Instead, he was here as a father and a widower in search of the truth. As righteous in intent his presence here was, he still felt like he was betraying his oath as an officer, betraying his boys and even betraying Castiel’s trust. His concern over the boy had turned into a need, a father-motivated drive to protect and he briefly allowed his thoughts to touch on how strange that actually was. John, the man who was so guarded and careful with who he let into his and his sons’ lives and here he was already offering open arms and trust to a boy from a family as dubious as the Novaks'. Missouri would say it was because John sensed, like she did, that Castiel and Dean had some mysterious anchor between them that bound them together and helped Dean in some way. The truth was far less intuitive and more instinctual. After all, John had seen the worst in human nature and how it stained all the lives that were touched by it. Castiel bore that very stain and he saw it the moment his eyes locked onto Castiel’s the first time they met. It was in the boy’s voice when he uttered his first word, it was how he stood in the cold like he accepted it rather than hiding from it, seeking warmth.

John frowned. He didn’t want to be here, not like this, but damn it…Missouri was right. He had to do this for himself and especially for Dean. If he found a way to help Castiel while he was at it then, well- it would make it right somehow. His frown deepened as he walked out into the afternoon sun. He squinted against the glare and peered around, making sure no one was straggling behind that he hadn’t accounted for. Seeing that the coast was clear, he made his way around the house and to the back door where he was less likely to be seen should the car turn around and come back. He would be able to hear the car and would be able to slink back into the shadows easy enough.

He looked at the door assessing what he was going to be working with. The lock was standard which meant only four or five pins to manipulate. It would be a quick job if none of the pins decided to be stubborn.

Taking out the light brown leather bound pack that was in his back pocket, he opened it. Looking through the assorted picks, he settled on his trusty half-diamond pick and a tension wrench. He inserted the wrench into the lower portion of the keyhole and turned it to the right, holding it there. He then took his pick and put it into the top portion of the key hole which he used it to feel around finding four pins. He pressed on the pins and found that the third pin was going to be the most difficult so he applied pressure to it. It clicked up and into place out of the cylinder’s way a moment later. He continued applying torque pressure to the wrench as he set to pushing up the other pins one after another. With a final twist of the wrench, the lock was undone and he stood replacing the wrench and the pick back into their pack. After stuffing the pack back into his back pocket, John took a deep breath and reached out to the door knob. With his exhale, he turned the knob and entered the house. Closing the door behind him quietly as if someone might hear him, he looked around the mudroom. Missouri’s mental and psychic layout she had given him would be accurate, he knew that, but seeing it first hand was a comfort and he knew exactly what he was here to do.

Making his way through the mudroom then through the kitchen, he came to the foyer. He eyed the long staircase which spiraled slightly at the top. A window from the third story lit the path he knew he had to take. He took another in a series of deep breaths he had taken since parking his car a mile away and he ascended the stairs heading towards Anna’s room.

When he reached her closed door, he opened it slowly. Lingering cigarette smoke still floated in the air revealed in the rays of late afternoon sun that lit her room. He let his gaze roam to the chifferobe which sat in the right far corner of the room and stared at it for a long moment. It was unassuming and no one would guess that it harbored darkness, violence and something that would lead John to the answers he had been seeking these past ten grueling years.

Without realizing he had moved, John found himself in front of this guardian of secrets and death made of wood and glass. His heart began to pick up its pace as he took one last moment to steel himself. This would change everything, that’s what Missouri had said, she was that sure of it.

 ' _The truth is in that box of oak and cedar. The symbolism of both are so ironic it gives me the heebie jeebies. Look for the photo albums. Gaia was guiding me to them. It will change everything, John. Everything.’_ Missouri said as she put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

John wanted to dismiss his friend, say it was all bullshit and that Missouri was insane. It would have made things easier but he knew differently. Missouri was always right and he knew she would be right in this regard too. ‘ _Fuck_.’

John’s hand trembled as it reached out and touched the cold surface. He closed his eyes and allowed his fingers to trail down to the bottom of the chifferobe. He bent at his knees and let his fingers reach under the bottom lip when they landed on the raised surface of the key and tape. He opened his eyes and released the breath he had been holding.

Standing straight again, he didn’t waste another moment as he slid the key into the slot. He could have used his lock picks for this he realized but there was something akin to an epoch to using the key and his whole body was now cold and shaking with it. He pulled the key which was now hooked into the keyhole and he opened the door with the scent of cedar wafting up. There wasn’t much in it besides clothes on hangers but John had been a detective long enough to know that if someone was hiding something, it was never in obvious sight. He pushed the clothes aside and towards the back. Stacked in the darkest corner were three photo albums. Everything was just as Missouri said and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck.

This moment was the point of no return and John knew it. The overwhelming presence of the past whirling forward to meet him in the present was suffocating. He knew the moment he opened the albums, the present would twist, creating a new future for him and his sons. He wanted to believe that by uncovering these secrets, he would bring Dean the answers that John knew he needed but he also couldn’t help being aware that more pain could likely be the result. A sadness filled him at that thought but the possible healing for Dean outweighed the possibility of more pain.

John backed up until his calves touched the edge of the bed and he sat down, cradling the albums in his lap not remembering when he had picked them up. In these three small albums lingered the violence and darkness that laid itself to be bared in the sunlight. His mind, in a last ditch effort to convince him to put the albums back unopened, voiced John’s fears, _'It will end up infecting rather than healing.’_ but, he had no choice here. Not really.

A tear fell and John sniffed as he plunged ahead and opened the top album. John had thought he might have to make his way through all the albums before coming to the thing he was looking for but he found it on the first page. Two boys sitting next to each other in an embrace. One a brunette and the other towheaded. The age difference appeared to be about the same as his own sons with the dark haired being the younger. John scanned the faded photo for details, cataloging everything in a meticulous system he developed in ‘Nam. Not seeing anything of real significance but feeling the nagging at the back of his mind that he was missing something, he gently pulled the plastic film back. The crinkling of plastic and the tearing sound as the film pulled from the adhesive echoed loudly around him. Letting go of the film once the picture was fully revealed, John gently picked up the photo and turned it around in his hands. On the back were names and a date scrawled at the bottom:

The best of brothers: Michael, 11 and Luci, 15 (May 1968)

John knew he had found what he had come here for. In all the research he had done, he hadn’t come across the name Luci or knew that the Novaks' had another brother. How that could even be possible he didn’t know. His hairs were standing on end from the sheer realization Missouri was right ( _again_ ) and because he was now moving again- in the direction of answers. Missouri had said it was the spirit of the Castiel’s mother that had helped give them this clue. He should feel foolish for doing this but he didn’t in the least. Looking around the room he spoke out loud, “Mrs. Novak. I’m not sure if you can hear me but my name is John Winchester and I’m going to help your boy. Going to help all your children if I can. Thank you for reaching out. You might not know this, but you’re helping me and my boys too with this information.”

With that, he continued to flip through the albums, collecting as much information he could glean and filing more details away to help him when he returned to the precinct. After he was through with them, he rose from the bed and put the evidence back where it had been. He made sure nothing was out of place and the clothes were moved back as they were before. He closed the chifferobe and replaced the key from where he had gotten it. He closed the door to Anna’s room behind him and retraced his steps back out of the house being sure to lock the door behind him.

The afternoon sun had turned to near dusk and the temperature was near freezing but John was too full of rekindled hope to feel it. This was it... finally.

 

~*~

They arrived back at the house, sated and in a comfortable silence. After lunch, they had driven to a friend of Gabriel’s who stockpiled beer and the hard stuff to sell to folks on Sunday since there was a ‘no liquor on Sunday because it’s sin’ law. Some people either forgot to buy on Saturday or never bought enough to hold them through Sunday. Or, like in their case, were too young to buy the stuff in the first place. After some small talk and purchasing a couple cases of beer and several bottles of the hard stuff, they were back on the road. By the time they reached home, the sky was in twilight and stars were starting to peek through the canopy of navy blue, purple and dusts of pink that lit the horizon. Gabriel climbed out of his car and leaned the seat back so Dean and Castiel could exit. Sam did the same for Anna, to which she gave him a smile and Sam blushed as he closed the door.

As Gabriel rounded the tail of the car, he threw his keys up into the air and caught them on the way down before sticking them into the trunk’s key hole. With a twist, the trunk popped open and he took the keys out, handing them out to Anna who took them to open the front door. Gabriel filled Castiel and Dean’s arms with the hooch until they had to struggle to keep from dropping them.

“Nice, Gabe.” Was Castiel’s only comment, which came laced with annoyance and an evil eye.

“Hey, I’m carrying too.” Gabriel responded in mock hurt as he reached in and plucked out the left over six pack of Budweiser. He slammed the trunk door down and smiled smugly as he walked past them.

“Prick!” Castiel shot out at Gabriel’s back.

Gabriel’s only reply, “Don’t drop anything.” He then whistled what sounded like a Journey song as he ran up the steps of the porch and slid inside.

Castiel mumbled something under his breath and shifted the weight of the packages in hand before following suit. Dean chuckled under his breath but stopped when he found himself watching Castiel’s ass and a familiar ache began to grow in his chest and his dick.

 

~*~

Gabriel had made the bonfire out back and they were all sitting around it. Anna had called one of her friends over and both girls sat snuggling together on a log with a blanket wrapped around them. The way they were looking at each other clued Dean in real quick that they were more than just friends.

Amelia was her name, he believed. Her dark, thick curls framed her features around the blanket. A moment later, Amelia whispered something to Anna and Anna laughed as she brought her hand out from the warmth of the blanket and cupped Amelia’s jaw, her thumb rubbing gently over her cheek. Anna was smiling, a hungry look in her eyes and Amelia responded by smiling shyly. Dean wondered if this was Amelia’s first girl-on-girl experience because the looks she was giving Anna sure looked a lot like some he had during his own same-sex firsts with Castiel. He watched with curiosity as he started to wonder if being attracted to the same sex was more common than he first thought.

Anna put gentle pressure on Amelia’s jaw and lifted her face from its shy downcast position. The smile on Amelia’s face slipped away as her eyes fluttered up and to look into Anna’s. Amelia leaned in towards Anna, her lips parting- waiting. Anna leaned in and planted a gentle kiss to the place near the corner of Amelia’s mouth and stilled- waiting. She didn’t have to wait long when Amelia swallowed and closed her eyes tilting her head so that her mouth was now fully on Anna’s. Anna kissed back and Dean watched as Anna masterfully coaxed Amelia’s mouth open. This was obviously not the first girl Anna had kissed. Dean probably should have felt turned on but instead he marveled how both girls were totally comfortable with their exploration of each other.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam said as he sat on the ground next to his brother, shivering at the contrast from freezing cold to amazing warmth from the fire.

“Hmm?” Dean answered as he tore his eyes from Anna and Amelia and turned them toward his brother.

Sam was holding up a stick with a hot dog speared at the end, his eyes on the fire. “You think I could have a drink tonight? Since it’s our last night here and all?”

Dean frowned. He didn’t want to think about this being their last night to be here but he tried to remind himself that he would still be seeing Castiel over the break and maybe they would be able to come over on future weekends. At least, he dared to hope since he seemed to be on a roll lately.

“Dean?” Sam asked, his tone layered in concern.

Dean hadn’t realized he had turned back to the fire and turned toward his brother again who was pulling his stick back from the flames. Sam’s brow was tight and a frown of his own was mirroring Dean’s.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Uh, yeah….sorry. Sure, Sammy. You can have a drink but I’m pouring it okay?” Dean responded as he snapped himself out of his internal thoughts. He reached over and picked up the whiskey bottle to pour a few inches into his plastic cup. Looking satisfied with the amount, he handed it to his brother. “Cheers!” Dean said as Sam took it with a smile.

“Gnarly!” Sam said and began sipping at the golden liquor.

Dean chuckled as he watched his brother wince when he pulled the cup away and he shook his head, still chuckling before standing. Dean patted his brother on the shoulder as he raised the cup to his lips again. “Make sure to drink that slow and eat.” Dean advised.

Sam nodded with cup still to lips, his eyes squinting against the burn.

“I’m going to go walk around for a minute.” Dean informed him and Sam merely nodded as he sat the cup down and began eating the nearly cold hot dog.

Dean was about halfway back to the house when Gabriel and Castiel exited and started making their way towards Dean. Castiel stopped when they reached him but Gabriel kept walking towards the bonfire. “Toke in T-minus five.” Gabriel called back.

“Hey, Gabe.” Dean called out. Gabriel stopped and turned to Dean, the smile on Gabriel’s face was affectionate and humored.

“Yeah?” Gabriel asked.

“Can you keep an eye on Sam? I gave him some alcohol. Not much, but don’t want him getting sick or anything.” Dean informed.

Gabriel’s smile widened and the affection seemed to spread. “Yeah, man. I’ve got him.”

Dean nodded, “Thanks.”

Gabriel had already turned and was walking away. “No problem, Dean-O.” He replied without turning around or stopping his pace.

Dean turned to Castiel who was smiling at him with curiosity showing in his eyes.

“What?” Dean asked, a small laugh raising puffs of chilled breath from his mouth. Dean shivered and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Castiel continued to smile but shook his head. “Nothing.” Castiel saw Dean’s jaw starting to tremble and in the next moment his teeth started clanking together. “Come back to the house with me. I just got an idea.” Castiel said as he leaned his head in the direction of the house before starting to walk back towards it.

“I b-b-b- bet you d-d-did.” Dean’s whole body was nearly jerking in response to the cold.

Castiel laughed and shook his head as he looked over to Dean who was now beside him matching his stride. The affection was still there and Dean’s brow knitted together, “S-seriously. What?”

Castiel was looking ahead of him as they ascended the steps to the front porch, which was lit up and somehow made Dean feel a fraction warmer. “You called Gabriel _'Gabe’_.” Castiel reached out and opened the screen door. Dean took the edge of it, pulling it all the way open.

“Yeah. Is that okay?” Dean asked a little concerned.

Castiel opened the main door and walked inside without answering right away. Dean followed and closed the door, sealing off the cold and enveloping him in the warmth of the house. Castiel turned on Dean, quickly pushing him against the door with a thud. Dean’s _'What the fuck?!_ ’ was silenced as Castiel assaulted Dean’s mouth with his own. It was quick and all consuming. Just when Dean’s dick caught up to what was happening, Castiel pulled away and Dean was left eyes still closed and lips parted. When his eyes fluttered open, Castiel was already at the top of the stairs.

 ' _Fuck.’_ Dean thought to himself and followed behind him. By time he got to Castiel’s door, Castiel started shoving blankets into Dean’s arms. The pile was so high that it covered his face.

“Hey! Little help here?” Dean said, his words muffled behind the mountain of fluff. He could hear Castiel chuckle and felt the blankets and comforters being tugged at but not taken out of his arms. In a few moments, like the parting of the Red Sea, a hole was opened up just big enough for Dean’s face. Castiel was smiling like Chester the cat. _‘The fucker’_

“Better?” Castiel asked as he turned and started plucking pillows from his bed.

“Not exactly what I meant.” Dean responded with mock annoyance.

Castiel threw the pile of pillows at Dean’s feet and went to his night stand. He opened it and removed what looked like a bottle and placed it into his back pocket. Dean swallowed as Castiel closed the drawer and looked at him for a moment. Castiel’s smile widened and there was something in his eyes that made Dean shiver. Castiel went to the closet and, reaching up, grabbed two rolled up sleeping bags. Coming back towards Dean, Castiel shuffled the sleeping bags in his own arms and bent to pick up the pillows he had dropped.

“Come on.” Castiel said breathlessly. He was obviously very excited about whatever it was he was planning on doing and Dean was starting to get excited too.

It was awkward getting out of the house but they were able to manage it. Dean followed Castiel as he led them away from it and towards the back of the property. Dean spared a glance towards his brother who was sitting next to Gabriel and laughed at something Gabriel was being very animated about. It put Dean at ease and he turned back to keeping pace with Castiel.

“This way.” Castiel said in his slight attempt to look over his shoulder at Dean. “There’s a trail. Leads to an open field. Discovered it a few days after moving here.” Castiel informed him as if predicting the questions that Dean was about to let fly.

Castiel couldn’t help the smile that seemed permanently plastered on his lips and Dean couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to. The thought made Dean both excited and uneasy but he continued to follow without another word.

They came to the edge of the woods and even though the moon was just beginning to wane, the darkness hid any details of the forest edge. Castiel found the path easy enough even though it wasn’t a well-worn path. Dean had to dodge and duck various limbs and twigs while not dropping the massive bundle in his arms. The further into the thicket they went, the more Dean’s excitement turned to anxiety. He wasn’t sure why the fact they were alone and far from where anyone who could hear made his mouth go dry but he thought it had something to do with the bottle in Castiel’s back pocket and the smile Castiel had given him when he had put it there.

As soon as that line of thought finished, Dean could see light up ahead and after dodging a twig that had flipped off Castiel’s shoulder, they came into a clearing.

The moonlight filled the area like a dimly lit stage. The ground was layered in thick bladed grass and the trees formed a circle around an area that was large enough to not block any view of the sky but small enough that Dean felt closed off from the rest of the world. The sound of flowing water from a creek nearby and crickets were the only thing grounding Dean from thinking he had entered another world.

“It’s a grove. Places just like this were considered sacred, a place of worship wherein the Divine dwelled, much like churches today.” Castiel said, still looking around them, eyes going from sky to ground and then to tree line.

Dean added, “Stemming from dendrolatry, the veneration of trees. Trees were seen as symbols of growth, decay and resurrection.”

Castiel turned his gaze from the tree line to Dean. A curious look glinted over his face and with a tilt of his head. “You never cease to amaze me.” Castiel informed, his smile the widest yet.

Dean blushed and cleared his throat, suddenly aware he had just made himself sound much smarter than he felt he really was. “So, where you want these?” he asked indicating the bundle still in his now aching arms.

“Shit. Yeah, sorry.” Castiel replied, Dean’s words snapping him from the wonder of this boy before him. He looked up at the sky to determine the best view. A moment later, he nodded, answering some unspoken question then proceeded to drop the sleeping bags and pillows to the ground. Once the sleeping bags were lain, he grabbed the bundle from Dean, whose tired arms fell heavily.

Dean rubbed the burn from the muscles in his forearms and began helping Castiel lay the blankets out. In no time, a comfortable pallet was made on the forest floor.

“I don’t know about you but I’m fucking freezing.” Dean said as he practically dived under the several layers of blankets and comforters.

Castiel chuckled and joined him, not before removing the ambiguous bottle from his back pocket and shoving it under one of the pillows. Dean watched the action and licked his lips anxiously. He wasn’t sure what the bottle was but he had an idea and was trying to settle the panic that was building up and overtaking the excitement he felt at first. It was making him shiver harder than he normally would be. Castiel settled in beside him and turned to his side to face Dean. Dean’s heart began to pound so hard he was pretty sure Castiel could hear it.

The smile Castiel had when he first got under the blankets faded. “What’s wrong, Dean?”

 ' _I’m not sure I’m ready for this.’_ Is what Dean wanted to say but instead replied, “Just cold.” Dean’s teeth chattered of their own accord to emphasize the fact.

Castiel smiled again and wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him closer. “Come here.”

Despite the panic Dean was feeling, he allowed himself to be pulled into the warmth of Castiel. Within moments his shivering subsided and the chattering of his teeth soon followed. When Castiel brushed his lips against Dean’s temple, an intense heat of his own coursed through him and coiled around his heart. Between the heat of Castiel’s body and the kiss, Dean unraveled and the panic took to being background noise in his mind.

Castiel felt Dean relax in his arms which calmed him as well. The look on Dean’s face had him wondering if what he had planned might be a bad idea but he wanted to pleasure Dean and soothe away his fears. There was no telling how long this thing between them was going to last or how long he, Gabriel and Anna would be permitted to stay once the media caught up to them, if they were still the news of the decade by now. The media was naturally fickle but it wouldn’t be long before Gabriel did yet another passive aggressive attack aimed to piss off their father. It was infantile but it came from Gabriel’s need to get some kind of attention from the man. Unfortunately, it came at a price for all of them rather than just Gabriel. Still, Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to be angry at his brother. Castiel just wanted to enjoy what time he had and share as much as he could with the boy in his arms. He kissed Dean’s temple again.

“Better?” he asked in an almost whisper.

“Yeah. Much.” Dean replied.

Dean couldn’t explain why he felt so many conflicting emotions all at once. These feelings of safety, comfort, fear, excitement, confusion, need, kinship, happiness, want and the most baffling of them all- _love._ It had his head spinning and his heart dipping like he was on some kind of roller coaster. It was getting harder to know which way was up and the thought had occurred to him that if he didn’t figure it out soon, he was going to drown. This kind of intensity was completely foreign and it wasn’t the same as his love for his family or even his friends. The several girls he had dated had been great fun and the sex had been hot but this? This was something altogether consuming and while he knew he fringed sounding like a girl admitting it to himself, it was amazing and not like anything he had known before. Even his body was responding in ways it never had before. Dean unwrapped himself from Castiel and turned onto his back to look up at the sky.

Castiel allowed Dean to pull away and turned to his back as well. He didn’t turn his eyes from Dean right away, but instead looked at his profile and watched Dean’s chest rise and fall. Dean knew he was watching him and a jolt hit his center that felt both good and painful at the same time, yet another sensation to add to the rapidly growing list. Dean sighed and turned his head to meet Castiel’s gaze.

“What’s up, Cas?” Dean asked and the corners of his lips twitched in a suppressed smile.

“I brought you a gift.” Castiel replied.

The smile Dean was trying to suppress fell. He was starting to hit panic stage yellow alert when he saw Castiel’s hand reaching into his jacket pocket instead of slipping under his pillow where the bottle was.

Castiel held up a spliff that was slightly longer than a dollar bill. The thickness was impressive and was the largest one Dean had ever seen. That is, if you didn’t count the ones he had seen and admired in Cheech and Chong movies. Dean’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Shit.” He said as he took it from Castiel and stared at it.

“Shit indeed.” Castiel answered with a chuckle.

Dean took it reverently and Castiel smiled wider. Dean turned it over in his hands and the perfection of it almost made him whimper. Even the shape of the cone was pure art. “You rolled this?” Dean asked, the fact he was in awe very evident in his tone.

Castiel was reaching deep into the pocket of his jeans for his lighter. “Yes.” he answered simply. He finally grasped the lighter, pulled it out and handed it to Dean. Dean took it, his eyes going back and forth from the lighter to the spliff.

“I don’t think I have the heart to light it.” Dean said mournfully.

Castiel laughed then. “You act like that is the first spliff you have ever seen.” Castiel made an incredulous face, “You have, haven’t you?”

Dean nodded, “I’ve attempted to rolled a few of my own but they were the size of a cigarette. No one really smokes spliffs around here. Not sure why, really, ‘cause they’re the best of two worlds.”

Castiel nodded his agreement. “I didn’t know you smoked cigarettes.”

Dean shrugged. “I started when I was about thirteen but a few months ago a friend of the family died of lung cancer which made Sammy hyper-aware that people he knows can actually die. He begged me to stop smoking them so I did.” Dean turned his eyes to Castiel who mirrored the action.

“Sam didn’t ask you to quit smoking weed?” Castiel asked.

“Oh.” Dean chuckled and nodded, looking off in the direction of where his brother would be if he could see him through the trees. “He did but I told him to be happy with me axing the cigarettes. You smoke?”

Castiel shook his head. “The only tobacco I enjoy is in this spliff. Cigarettes always made me feel nauseous no matter how many times I tried.”

Dean nodded and put the spliff to his lips. “She sure looks pretty.” Dean moved his eyes in a side glance to Castiel. “Now let’s see how she smokes.” He flicked the lighter twice and once it lit, began lighting the spliff. Great plumes of smoke bellowed out between each of Dean’s quick puffs. Castiel laughed at Dean’s delighted “ _Mmmmm. Mm. MMMMM!_ ”

After another puff, it was lit and the smoke was one long stream reaching towards the sky. Dean let out the smoke he had held at the fourth puff.

“Holy fuckin’ shit, dude!” Dean turned his whole body towards Castiel, his brow tight like he was utterly confused. “This was rolled for the fuckin’ gods!” Dean said before taking another hit and passing.

“I guess it’s fitting then that we are in a scared place.” Castiel said with a smile before taking a hit.

“What did you use for tobacco? This shit tastes and smells great- real smooth.” Dean asked.

“Black cherry. There’s a shop I found that carries just about every flavor known to man. Black cherry has always been the best to roll in a spliff though.” Cas answered with a shrug.

“Mmmm.” was Dean’s only answer which was accentuated with a nod. He reached for the offered spliff.

They laid there in comfortable silence staring at the sky while they smoked. The moon was still bright, blocking out most of the stars but it was amazing to stare up into. As it always did, the view got Dean wondering if there was more to his existence, a purpose maybe and as always he came back with a solid ‘ _no_ ’. Having a purpose was for deserving people, for people who had something to give the world or at least, had dreams and Dean had neither. The morose feeling didn’t ruin the awe he felt while looking at the night sky and for that he was grateful.

“Cas? Do you ever think about what would be different if you were never born?”

Castiel was just smoking on the tobacco roach when he heard Dean’s words and they troubled him. Putting the roach out on the ground next to him he shifted and turned his body fully towards him. Dean was still looking up into the sky, his eyes shifting in a way that Castiel wondered if Dean was fighting tears.

Castiel’s brow tightened and he answered honestly, “There was a time that I did, yes- but not anymore.”

Without really thinking about it, Castiel reached out his hand and cupped the side of Dean’s face turning it towards his own. A single tear spilled over, trickling down Dean’s face and Castiel had never known anyone to smoke that much and still feel something so deeply that they could generate a tear. Castiel burrowed his gaze deeply into Dean’s searching for what he could find there as if he could physically reach in and take whatever it was away. The only thing he could discern was the feeling that Dean felt ‘ _lost_ ’ and Castiel frowned.

Dean closed his eyes, feeling exposed and angry. As high as he was, he shouldn’t be feeling anything. He should be numb and on a fantastic cruise on a lazy river in his mind but the opposite was true. A moment later, his thoughts were broken by the sensation of lips on his, breath mingling with his own and fingers making circles gently in the hair at his temple. Another tear fell but Dean had already abandoned the tightness in the center of his chest for a growing warmth and his troubled thoughts brushed away by the sweeping motions of Castiel’s tongue on his bottom lip. He clutched on the sensations like a drowning man and he opened up to Castiel, moaning as their tongues touched and slid together. Dean growled into Castiel’s mouth at his frustration with the barrier of blankets between them and he pulled them free. Dean closed the space between them and let the blankets fall.

Castiel took that moment to put his hands under Dean’s shirt and he spread his palms over Dean’s tight flesh. Dean brought his knee up in between Castiel’s legs to apply pressure and friction to Castiel’s hardening length. Castiel was just letting go of his plans for the night and settling instead for whatever Dean was comfortable with when Dean broke the kiss and with eyes still closed asked, “What’s the bottle for, Cas?”

Dean’s heart was hammering against his rib cage and Castiel could feel it. He was afraid and if the fact Dean's eyes were still closed tight was an indicator, he was terrified.

“Dean...” Castiel began to explain that it wasn’t important and that it was just an idea he had. That he should have talked to Dean about it first but Dean interrupted him.

“What’s it for, Cas?” Dean swallowed as he opened his eyes and they shifted over Castiel’s face.

There was something mingled in with the fear Castiel noticed, something akin to curiosity which was the only reason he answered Dean instead of telling him to forget about it. “It’s a lubricant. I wanted to try something with you.” Castiel sighed, “It’s something Meg did with me a few times.”

Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It wasn’t what Dean had first thought but the relief was short lived when other possible scenarios started playing out in his mind. Lubricant was meant for making things easier to push into and feel great while doing it. Since he and Castiel only had one place that applied to-...

“What did she do?” Dean swallowed again. His throat was dry as hell and he wasn’t sure if it was the work of the weed or from the apprehension over what Castiel had planned.

Castiel suddenly felt abashed which wasn’t the norm for him at all. Sex was one of those things he seemed to have no boundaries on and no matter the quantity of sexual experiences he had, he had never felt this nervous or this in danger of being rejected. Being rejected or worrying about the possibility had never bothered him before and he wondered, ‘ _Why now?_ ’ and ‘ _Why Dean?_ ’

“I would rather show you than explain. Do you trust me, Dean?”

Dean noticed a weakness in Castiel’s question, a vulnerability that comforted Dean. It made him feel more in control of the situation and most importantly, he didn’t feel alone in this. He knew he should feel wrong about what was about to happen, but he couldn’t bring himself to do or say anything other than nod and say, “Yeah, Cas. I trust you.”

Castiel kissed Dean tenderly and it was chaste, meant to comfort. While he did so, he reached under the pillow and grabbed the bottle.

“Will... will it-” was Dean’s next words when Castiel pulled his mouth from his.

Castiel saw the timidity in Dean’s features and heard it in his broken sentence. He knew what Dean was asking without having to hear the rest of it.

“Not if I do it right. I have only had this done to me. I have never done it to another guy. Meg is a good teacher though and I get the logistics of how this works. Plus I know anatomy like the back of my hand and...”

Castiel paused, cupping Dean’s jaw and pulled in closer until his lips were mere millimeters from Dean’s. He continued, “I would never hurt you, Dean.”

Dean shivered under the weight of Castiel’s words and Castiel moved his hands from Dean’s jaw to the nape of his neck where hair met skin. He began rubbing comforting circles as he said, “If you want me to stop at any time, just tell me and I will. I just want to make you feel good, Dean, the best you have ever felt.” Castiel wanted to add, ‘ _So that when I’m gone- moved on to another State or even another Country, you won't forget me._ ’ but now wasn’t the time for that. Instead, Castiel said, “I want to do that for you.”

Dean smiled and Castiel swore he had found the eighth Wonder of the World.

“Cas?” Dean’s hand was already on Castiel’s hip, pulling him flush and grinding his clothed cock against his. Castiel groaned and Dean smiled wider, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. “Just shut up and do it.”

Castiel almost shouted to the Heavens but instead, he consumed Dean’s mouth, his tongue trying to take possession of Dean’s. Dean submitted and allowed Castiel to move him onto his back while Castiel laid on top of him. Dean stopped thinking at that point and allowed his body to react. He was surprised when his legs opened of their own accord and Castiel slipped and locked himself between them- right where it felt like he belonged. Dean ran his hands down Castiel’s sides, down to his hips and around to his ass. Castiel moaned into Dean’s mouth and sucked at his tongue. In reaction, Dean tightened his grip and used it as leverage as he rutted his hips up into Castiel.

Castiel broke away from Dean’s lips and started assailing Dean’s jaw with lips and tongue. “If you make me come before I give you the best orgasm of your life- game over.” Castiel warned with a growl.

Dean believing him, loosened his grip and stilled his hips as best as his body would allow him. Castiel smiled against Dean’s neck and renewed his assault to Dean’s chest. The clothes between his mouth and Dean’s skin were a rude intruder and Dean made quick work at removing his jacket and shirt. The bitter cold air that hit him should have been brutal but his body was like a furnace now, the cold barely registering on the map of his body. Dean laid back down as Castiel continued to lick and suck his descent.

Castiel loved the scent of Dean and especially the way he tasted. All of it so new to him but so ‘ _right_ ’. The ache in his chest from thoughts of having to ever leave Dean quickly burned away under the flames of lust and something more, something he couldn’t help but rationalize as anything other than love he was feeling. It was something he wouldn’t say out loud and risk scaring Dean straight out of his arms. Instead, he wanted to show Dean through this, through making him feel good in ways he would never forget.

Castiel made quick work of Dean’s jeans and Dean lifted his hips up so Castiel could pull them down and away. Castiel reached for the bottle of lube and looked at Dean one more time, “You sure?” he asked breathlessly. Dean, looking down his chest to meet Castiel’s eyes and nodded.

Castiel threw the blankets over himself, hiding away and allowing Dean a muted privacy in the hopes of helping him relax without an audience. Dean’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and his lids fluttered closed. He pulled the blankets up closer to his neck and gasped when Castiel took Dean’s aching cock into his mouth. After a few gentle and painfully slow sucks, Dean heard the click of the bottle being opened and then closed. A few moments and a lick to his dripping head later, Dean felt Castiel’s finger at the entrance to his hole. Dean’s body stiffened and Castiel’s muffled voice commanded gently, “Relax, Dean.” Castiel’s wet and now warm finger began to massage firm but gentle strokes over and around his rim. Dean melted into the sensation and his body reacted by making Dean’s cock harder than it had ever been before, which surprised him.

Once Castiel noticed Dean was thoroughly pliant, he spoke again, “I’m going to push in, Dean. It will feel weird at first but if you just relax, it will feel better quicker.”

“No play-by-play man. J... just do it.” Dean replied roughly. There was anger laced there and Dean hated himself for letting it come out of him. He wasn’t angry at Cas, he was angry at himself for allowing this to even happen- angry at himself for letting his curiosity and this new need from within him to have sway.

If Castiel had noticed, he made no sign of it. Instead, Castiel’s finger breached his rim to the second knuckle. Dean sputtered something completely incoherent. Castiel stilled and pulled the blankets away from him and Dean. Dean looked down at Castiel who pushed his finger in deeper once they made eye contact and Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. After stilling for a few moments Castiel began to move his finger back and forth before giving a pull and tug.

“That’s it, Dean. Relax.” Castiel encouraged as he felt the clench of Dean’s rim release. Dean fully relented to the sensations and to Castiel’s comforting voice. Castiel pushed his finger all the way in and turned the pad of his finger up, crooking it and slowly slid until he found what he was looking for.

As soon as Castiel hit it, Dean jerked. “Fuck!” he shot an astonished glance down his body to Castiel, whose smile was sly and knowing.

“Told you were going to love this.” Castiel took the pad of his finger and began to do gentle, alternating strokes on the sides of Dean’s prostate.

Dean had never felt anything like it before and was pretty fucking sure he never would again. To his surprise he found his body pushing into Castiel’s finger in rhythm to his strokes. A rapidly growing need to be filled more, to feel more pressure was knocking persistently on the door in Dean’s mind. He nearly cried when Castiel pulled his finger from inside him and Dean was about to protest when Castiel slipped in again, this time with two fingers. Dean moaned out over the blissful intrusion and looked into Castiel’s eyes again- that annoying, knowing smile growing wider and his eyes darkening.

Castiel had begun to worry Dean was going to hate the experience but the way Dean’s body was responding was not only settling his nerves but also making his own dick painfully hard. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Dean. Never thought I would ever say those words to a guy but fuck if you’re not the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

A blush spread across Castiel’s cheeks at the admission. He suddenly felt vulnerable, expecting rejection at such a revelation but was only met with Dean’s heavy breaths and earnest thrusts into his fingers. He held his hand still and watched with a thrill as Dean continued to move on his fingers. The in and out pull along his fingers caused a warmth to fill Castiel’s stomach and his heart was beating so hard it was deafening.

“Not enough.” Dean choked out and it really wasn’t. If anything, the increments of stimulation Castiel’s fingers were giving- _while fucking amazing_ \- were not enough. Dean needed more. His whole body screamed to be connected, to be filled, to feel Castiel there, in him. The strange desire sent chills through Dean’s spine. This was too foreign and should be so wrong, but his body felt quite differently on the matter and he had no choice but to agree with it. Nothing that felt this good, made him react this intensely, could be wrong, could it? He knew somewhere underneath all the need and want he would feel wrong about this afterwards. But as of this moment? He really didn’t give a fuck.

“Wh-what?” Castiel asked, the smile falling from his lips and concern sweeping over his face.

“Need more, Cas.” Dean said and bit his bottom lip.

Castiel pulled his fingers away and began to lube them up more, preparing to add a third finger because surely Dean didn’t mean-

Dean reached out and grabbed Castiel’s hand that was holding the bottle. “No more fingers, man. They’re not _enough”_ , saying the last word as if it would explain everything.

He did mean it. The realization struck Castiel and his eyes not only blew wide with surprise but also with lust and hesitation.

“I don’t…Dean, I’ve never...” Castiel licked his lips like he was being served the most amazing steak on a silver platter.

“I won’t beg, Cas. If you don’t want to try- if you just want to stick with the hands then that’s okay.” Dean began to back peddle, feeling keenly embarrassed and shy now when he had been so bold just moments before. He hadn’t thought about Castiel not wanting to do it and he began to feel like some disgusting perv.

“No, Dean! I want to. I just don’t know what I’m doing beyond this point. I don’t want to fuck it up or hurt you.” Castiel admitted.

Dean laughed then. “Dude, I might be willing to take it up the ass but I’m _not_ a chick. There’s no ‘ _handle with care_ ’ tag on me.”

Castiel’s shoulders relaxed and he huffed a chuckle. “No, you’re not a chick Dean, but you sure moan like one.”

Dean shot Castiel a look that was all snake bite but no venom. “Yeah, well- fuck you.”

Castiel was already in motion to remove his jacket and shirt which he tossed into the pile with Dean’s clothes. He stood and began removing his pants.

“I’ll be doing the fucking tonight par your request.” He winked at Dean but despite all of the bravado Castiel was tossing, he was more nervous than his first time with Meg. This meant a hell of a lot more too.

Dean watched as Castiel tugged free of his boxers, his hardness bobbing as it was freed. The scene made Dean’s mouth go even drier and his dick pulse. Castiel might think Dean was something to look at but _he_ was perfect. Castiel made quick work of getting back under the blankets and on top of Dean and kissed him which worked from soft to hungry quickly. When Castiel broke it, he was practically panting and Dean’s whole body was trembling under him.

“Is this still what you want?” Castiel asked, his voice was as steady as he could manage and he did his best to phrase it in a way that allowed Dean an out. Dean didn’t take it and merely nodded. Castiel kissed him again briefly but it said more than words could have.

“I think this will work better if you’re on your stomach.” Castiel said against Dean’s mouth.

“Yeah? How would you know?” Dean eyed him suspiciously. He knew Castiel had said he hadn’t been with a guy before but trust had never been Dean’s forte. The fact he felt like he could trust Castiel with his life scared him.

Castiel tucked his chin back and his head away enough to see all of Dean’s face. He trained his eyes on Dean’s letting them bore as deep as they could. “ _Anatomy King,_ Dean. Remember? That spot I was touching is your prostate and...” Castiel said matter-of-factly, sitting up and grabbing for the bottle of lube. He continued, “It’s just the best angle to reach it. We are designed for anal stimulation.”

“Dude!” Dean practically shouted. “You’re making my dick wilt with the running commentary, I swear.”

Castiel glanced down and saw that Dean was still rock hard. He arched a brow, “You suck at lying, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Just don’t ever say the word anal or anus for that matter, ever again. Jesus.”

“Roll over, Dean.” Castiel commanded, his only response.

Again Dean had the momentary flash of heat course down his body to his feet but at the same time was smacked with the thought of backing out and running for the hills. But then Castiel’s hand was on Dean’s hip and his lips were on his, their tongues sweeping against each other’s. When Castiel moaned into his mouth and started tugging on Dean’s hips to roll over, Dean complied. Once on his stomach, he felt exposed and vulnerable but there was something about those feelings and the trust he felt being forged with Castiel that lit another fire inside of him.

Castiel’s breath hitched as he took in the view. The taut flesh over muscle and bone. Dean’s perfect shoulders and soul damning ass had Castiel’s cock throbbing painfully. How they had even gotten to this point was a whirlwind in his mind and the trust they were both showing was the kind spent building over a lifetime. Castiel doubted he would ever stop being amazed or overwhelmed by it all. How _this_ had been allowed to build so quickly and so thoroughly sent Castiel’s mind tilting into the fear of losing it all. He knew it was only a matter of time before he did and it made his heart wrench. Castiel opened the bottle and squeezed a liberal amount of lube into his hand. He threw the bottle down and began rubbing his slicked up hand along his shaft making sure it was coated. To get rid of the remainder, he slid his hand between Dean’s ass cheeks, lubing up his crack and rim. He was about to push his fingers in again when Dean’s broken and ragged voice called out, “No more fingers, man.”

“I think it’s best if I stretch-” Castiel was informing and Dean growled, “Cas, I swear if you don’t do this now I’m gonna-” Castiel cut him off by pushing the head of his cock against Dean’s rim and in another breath pushed in an inch.

Dean hissed and gripped the sleeping bag under him as he buried his face into the pillow to halt the words that were about to flow out. Castiel steadied himself and fought the delicious urge to rush this, allowing Dean to stretch and relax under him.

Dean was wrecked, the pain doing nothing to cool the liquid fire of need thundering through him which should have freaked him out but it was having quite the opposite effect. “More, Cas. Please.”

Castiel complied as he pushed the rest of the way in torturously slow, the heat and tightness of Dean not only surrounding his dick but his entire body. It was the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. Except for a few grunts as Castiel fully submerged himself into Dean’s depth, Dean didn’t move or say anything.

“Fuck, Dean. You feel amazing.” Castiel said breathlessly as he stilled.

Dean heard the words in some distant far off place, his body too overwhelmed by all the sensations slamming into him at once. Pain, pressure, pleasure and something else that made his heart swell and his chest expand until he thought it was going to explode. To add to the extremely overwhelming sensations, his sight started blurring behind fresh tears.

“Move please, Cas. Just- move.” Dean was finally able to say but his voice hitched and he was thankful for that since full on begging was at the boiling point.

Castiel did start moving, easily at first trying to get his bearings and quell the heat that was already starting to coil inside him by paying attention to his angle as he pulled out and slid back in. He knew he hit the spot when Dean bucked back against him as he pushed back in with a little more force.

“Fuck!” Dean called out as he lifted his ass again to meet Castiel’s inward thrusts. Something urgent unwrapped itself within Dean and words fell out of his mouth that he would have been horrified over if they had been said with anyone else. “Cas- I need- please!”

Castiel was breathless and he lowered his upper body as his thrusts gradually grew quicker, stronger. He licked at Dean’s spine in a hazed stripe and nipped and kissed his shoulder blade. He couldn’t believe he was here, in this place with Dean under him enjoying it as much as he was. He began to feel the pooling of electric-like heat building, reaching for release. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and he wanted Dean to come before he did.

Dean was gone. Heaven, Hell- he couldn’t tell which but he didn’t care. His inner voice screaming ‘ _harder, faster, more_ ’ but he couldn’t speak. All he could do was move his hips into the ever perfectly angled slam of Castiel’s thrusts. Dean shivered against Castiel’s mouth, the rutting of his own cock against the sleeping bag beneath him not quite enough friction. When Castiel’s hand reached around his waist and under him, fisting Dean’s cock and moving his hand in rhythm to his fucking, Dean thanked God for the first time in his life and he came with a growl that turned into Castiel’s name over and over.

The clenching of Dean’s orgasm around Castiel’s cock sent him over too and he spilled inside Dean with his head against Dean’s shoulder. Slow, shallow movements milked the last of his orgasm when he let go of Dean’s cock and pulled out.

As soon as he did, Dean turned underneath him quickly and was looking up at Castiel. His eyes unflinching and staring into his. Castiel leaned in to kiss the lips of the boy he was pretty sure he was in love with and Dean grabbed him pulling him into a tight and almost desperate embrace, his mouth hungrily consuming Castiel’s in return.

When Castiel pulled his mouth away, Dean pulled his head to his own, their foreheads resting against each other. Finally, Castiel spoke lowly, “Please tell me we are going to be doing that again.”

Dean closed his eyes and despite what he should be saying, he nodded rapidly. His fingers ran through Castiel’s hair and Castiel sighed as he shifted off Dean to lay at his side. He pulled the blankets around them and fell off quickly from consciousness shortly after Dean placed a kiss to the top of his head and pulled him closer.

 

~*~

“So when Mom died we moved around a lot. Dad went into some kind of survival mode like he defaulted to Marine soldier or something. He raised us knowing how to shoot, clean firearms, track and hunt. There were a few years there that I have no memory of ‘cause I was just a baby but- Dean said dad wasn’t around.” Sam said this not looking up to Gabriel but instead he was looking at his empty glass pitifully. He frowned, his lower lip protruding in an exaggerated manner.

Gabriel smiled fondly. “Want some more?” he lifted the bottle he had been nursing from and jiggled it, the liquor sloshing back and forth bringing Sam’s eyes to Gabriel’s.

“Dean will be pissed at me.” Sam answered and sighed.

“Aww, well.” Gabriel untwisted the cap from the bottle and poured a couple more shots worth into Sam’s cup that he was still holding out. “Now he can just be pissed at me. Besides, you’re not slurring yet.”

“Dean’s under the impression I’m a wuss.” Sam said moving his eyes from Gabriel’s to the cup in his hands and took a sip.

“Actually Sambo, I think he’s just being the overprotective big bro. I know I have a tendency to do that with Anna and Cassie.” Gabriel said and took another swig before putting the bottle down. He looked at Sam and noticed him watching Anna and Amelia making out.

“I’ve never kissed a girl.” Sam revealed.

Gabriel sat up straighter and looked at Anna and Amelia before looking at Sam again. “This have something to do with the Sarah chick you’re into?”

“Yeah, sorta’.” Sam responded, toeing the ground with a less exaggerated frown than before but equally as pitiful and Gabriel couldn’t just leave the kid like that. Gabriel was the proactive sort and he always helped a friend in need.

“Hey, sis.” Gabriel said and Anna paused in making out and turned to her brother. Gabriel continued, “Sam here has never made out with anyone and it is raining on his ‘ _getting a date_ ’ parade. Whatcha think we should do about that?”

Something about Anna’s smile made Sam’s stomach flip. She turned to Amelia and whispered something into her ear. Amelia’s eyes went wide and she shot him a similar but shyer smile. Without responding, Anna stood and Amelia followed, holding hands as they made their way around the bonfire. Gabriel reached out, taking Sam’s cup from his trembling hands and moved over so Anna could take his place beside Sam and Amelia sat on the other side.

Sam swallowed, his heart pounding. He had an idea of where this was going and he tried to stall the panic. Anna reached out and took his face in both hands, her smile deepening.

“It’s no big deal, really. Just close your eyes and let your body take the lead. Okay?”

Sam nodded rapidly and as Anna began to lean in, Sam closed his eyes. The brush of lips almost startled him but he pressed his against Anna’s. When she began to move her mouth over his, a switch flipped inside him and he began to move his mouth over hers in his own exploratory strokes and nips. When his tongue slipped out on its own accord, sweeping over Anna’s bottom lip, she almost smiled. She opened up to him and their tongues slid together. It was just a taste before Anna pulled away, leaving one last nip on Sam’s upper lip before pulling all the way back and letting her hands fall.

Before he knew what was happening, Amelia had turned him towards her and her lips were on his. Her movements were different than Anna’s and it was she who asked for access first by running her tongue over his top lip. He opened to her but this time it was his hands that shot up and took Amelia’s face to give him more leverage to explore and taste every corner of Amelia’s mouth. She made a small laugh as she gave back in equal measure. After a few more moments, Amelia pulled back and she smiled at the state Sam was in. His hair messed, breathing heavily and pupils blown wide.

“Mikey! I think he likes it!” Gabriel shouted out with an added whistle.

Amelia laughed as she and Anna got up to begin walking toward the house until Anna half turned to say, “You have nothing to worry about, Sam. Keep kissing girls like that and you’ll be more than fine.” she winked and Amelia giggled, shooting him another shy smile before turning and following Anna to the house.

Gabriel moved back to his place beside Sam and handed him his cup back. “I think Anna is going to get laid because of you.” Gabriel joked.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Sam said with a smile and a blush rising on his cheeks.

Gabriel laughed. “So you going to ask Sarah out now?”

Sam nodded, still smiling sheepishly.

“Good, ‘cause if you don’t I’m going to force you to make out with me.” Gabriel said with the smirk of someone thinking he was being a proper asshole.

Sam laughed, “Is that supposed to be a threat, Gabe?” His eyes still on the bonfire.

Gabriel stared at him with his mouth gaped open like a guppy. Gabriel wasn’t sure exactly how Sam was meaning the statement but it left him feeling hyper-aware of the boy beside him. “I guess not?” was the answer he gave and he turned from Sam to the fire. It was then Gabriel noticed, this was the first time in a very long time he was totally okay with not getting high. His brow tightened and he reached down and grabbed the bottle between his feet. Lifting it, he took a long draw. He was probably coming down with something.

 

~*~

Castiel woke to the scent of burning wood, leaves and a red flickering glow behind his eyelids. A pleasant heat enveloped his body and he opened his eyes, squinting as they adjusted. He could see the backside of a figure, which was facing the small fire.

“Dean?” Castiel asked as he sat up.

Dean turned to him and he smiled. He was fully clothed and looked as if he had been up the whole time. “Hey Cas.” he said warmly. “I figured I’d make a fire to keep us from freezing out here.” he added before turning back to stoke the fire with a large branch that was in his hand.

Castiel grabbed his clothes and made quick work of putting them on before taking a cross-legged seat beside Dean.

“Have you been up this whole time?” Castiel asked when he noticed the logs on the fire had been ablaze for a while. Dean reached over and grabbed another log to add to it.

“Fell asleep for almost an hour then woke up freezing.” Dean answered.

Castiel noticed Dean was looking everywhere but at him. Worry started to raise its ugly head naturally. “Are you okay?” Castiel asked tentatively.

“Now that the fire’s going good- yeah.” Dean replied busying himself poking at the fire more.

Castiel put a hand on Dean’s shoulder which drew Dean’s gaze around to him finally. “I didn’t mean the fire Dean.”

“Oh.” Dean replied. Truth was, he felt great- happy, even, but lodged in the center was a huge stinking pile of _‘oh shit’._ So long as no one who could tell his dad found out he would be better than okay. What he had done with Castiel had pushed all his boundaries. His desires were pure and intense and as he came down from the totally mind blowing sex he knew, he wanted this. This whatever-in-the-fuck-this-was with Castiel.

Castiel watched nervously as Dean poked the logs on the fire one more time and threw the stick into the small blaze, which crackled and hissed.

“I’ve been thinking, Cas…” Dean started but Castiel cut him off.

“You don’t want to do this anymore. I understand.” Castiel’s heart was in his throat and fuckin’- A if he wasn’t about to cry. Castiel blinked and stood.

“What? Wait! Cas-” Dean said confused. He stood as well and started following behind Castiel who was attempting to pick up blankets and pillows but looked more like he was anxiously searching for something.

“It’s okay, Dean. I get it. I really do.” Castiel made a sniffling noise and swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

Now it was Dean’s turn to panic. He pulled the blanket from Castiel’s hand and tossed it to the ground before taking both his hands and cupping Castiel’s face, forcing him to look at him but Castiel’s eyes stayed looking away even though his body was fully turned towards Dean.

“Cas!” Dean shouted then lowered his volume, “Look at me, man.”

Castiel blinked and a tear fell which Dean wiped away with his thumb, the tenderness of the action pulling Castiel’s eyes to look on Deans.

“I wasn’t going to say that at all.” Dean informed and a faint smile started to creep up on his mouth. “Jesus, you’re such a fuckin’ girl.” Dean teased and his smile became full. “It’s adorable.”

Castiel laughed and rolled his eyes before returning them to Dean. Dean dried Castiel’s face with his thumbs and then continued speaking while wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer. “I’ve been thinking…I really want to be with you.”

“We’ve had this talk before.” Castiel informed. While he was sounding aloof, his heart was beating a million miles a minute. He knew that Dean saying this was different from the first time. He could hear the surety now when, before, Dean had been afraid to even say the words. Castiel was also very aware how problematic this was going to be.

“Dean.” Castiel started and sighed.

Worry flashed over Dean’s face and his grip around Castiel’s waist loosened.

“Before you say anything else, there’s something you need to know, something you need to realize.” There it was. That thing that had been hanging over his head.

Dean looked stricken, expecting the worst. “What, Cas?” his voice came out hushed. Castiel pulled out of Dean’s arms but entwined his fingers with Dean’s and pulled him back to the fire.

“You’re scaring me, Cas.” Dean said as he mirrored Castiel’s actions in sitting down.

“Don’t be afraid, Dean.” Castiel turned to him, cross legged, knees touching Dean’s. He took ahold of Dean’s hands and pulled them into his lap. “I’m going to have to leave.”

“When?” Dean asked. There was a panicked hitch to his voice.

Castiel shrugged. “Could be tomorrow. Could be next week. Could be two years from now. At some point my father will find a new town or a new country to shelve us on. Or, Gabriel will do something foolish and Father will store us away to keep the media at bay and from judging him. However it happens, the fact remains, I will eventually have to leave.” Castiel was looking intently at Dean with a regretful gaze as he rubbed tender circles over his hands with his thumbs.

“What if he never comes calling?” Dean asked, the center of his chest hurting against the prospect of never seeing Castiel again.

“Dean.” Castiel sighed again. “He always does. The longest we have stayed any place after our mother took off was two years.”

“Well how about the next time he tells you it’s time to shove off, you tell him to stick it and you stay here?” Dean said in all seriousness but smirked to keep himself from tearing up.

“Dean.”

“No, Cas! I’m serious.” The smirk fell and he clung to Castiel’s hands.

“Father always gets his way. I’ve seen what happens if you fall from his grace and it would mean losing my family.”

Dean entertained the idea of helping Castiel run away but that wasn’t about to happen. Castiel would still lose his family and Dean wasn’t about to leave Sammy. Besides, his dad would track them down in a few hours. Marine Special Forces meant there was no place to hide. Great for catching the bad guys, shitty for any notions of skipping town. Dean’s face fell, there was no answer.

“Hey.” Castiel said, lifting Dean’s hands to his lips and kissing his knuckles. Dean looked up and smiled sadly. “Let’s just enjoy the time we have. Okay?” Castiel tried his best to sound reassuring but the crack in his own voice betrayed him.

Dean raised a hand from Castiel’s grasp and placed it on the side of Castiel’s face. “Act like we don’t have tomorrow.” Dean added, his sad smile wavering.

Castiel sighed and nodded. “You’re still wanting to do this?” Castiel asked, gesturing between them with the hand that was no longer holding the one that was now rubbing gentle strokes over his temple.

“Fuck yes, Cas. I mean- my dad still can’t know- but, yeah. That’s if you still want to?”

For the briefest of moments Dean feared Castiel would say he didn’t, but the thought was hushed when Castiel kissed him. Dean kissed back and something ignited in his center. This is what happiness felt like and he didn’t want to let it go. Any doubts or feelings of guilt over what he and Castiel were to each other was washed away under the current of Castiel’s brush of lips, sweeping tongue and heated touch. I little while later they were snuggled down under piles of blankets with Castiel’s head resting on Dean’s chest. Dean’s fingers lazily running through Castiel’s hair until they were both fast asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to defend my use of unprotected sex in this chapter by saying, please keep in mind the year. It was 1988 and while the emphasis of protect sex was starting to have an up swing because of AIDS, it was not really focused on much, at least... not at all like it did in the mid to late 90's. Among teens, it was the least thought about. Teenage pregnancy was a big deal and teens just simply didn't think of AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (call it a mortality complex... that hasn't really changed much even with adults. Shitty things only happen to other people, not to you). It wasn't until 1990 that sex education started becoming part of health classes in High School. So yeah, completely realistic for the time frame that this is written in. I'm not here to offer sex education awareness through my writing. I'm here to tell a story and be as legit to how things were, as I can.


	5. December 18, 1988 (Sunday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here you go.” Castiel said, handing them out towards Dean. Dean walked over and took one from the top to examine the cover. “ _The Two Towers_.” He read out loud.
> 
> “ _Lord of the Rings_.” Castiel said. “If we’re going to be together, you’re going to have to read those. No exceptions.” Castiel said seriously.
> 
> A thrill went through Dean when Castiel so casually mentioned them being together. Still so strange but it felt way too good to worry over anymore. He looked up at Castiel and groaned.
> 
> “Dude. I don’t think I can read five books on top of Chuck’s two over the break!”
> 
> Castiel was writing something on a piece of stationary on his desk. Slipping the paper into one of the books, he picked them back up and practically shoved the rest into Dean’s arms.
> 
> “I wrote down the order I want you to read these in. _The Hobbit_ first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is regrettably short but each of these chapters account for a 24hr period and unless there is something significant to include, a single chapter might not go on for a full 24hrs which I'm sure most understand. I just wanted to make sure you guys didn't headhunt me for making this one shorter than the rest lol. Also, sometimes you will notice with this fic, gaps might be filled with back stories as time goes on. 
> 
> Also, YES. I will be painting the Sam and Gabriel photo like I did with Dean and Cas. I will also be painting the other picture that was taken in the scene cause everyone deserves a chuckle. I will let you all know when they have been put up here on a future chapter note. Anyway, enjoy! :D And thank you for reading! <3

 

 

## December 18, 1988 ( _Sunday_ )

 

Dean and Castiel were holding hands, fingers entwined, as they exited the woods and made their way towards the house. The sun finally decided to make its entrance but the air was still bitter cold with the moisture of the night. Dean was surprised it hadn’t snowed yet but he had a feeling it was coming. In the past, this would have been a welcomed thing since it meant time off from school if it lingered past the Christmas holidays but now, it meant the likelihood of not being able to see Castiel once Dean was home. When they reached the porch, Gabriel came barreling out of the front door with Sam in hot pursuit.

“Give me the fucking camera, Gabe!” Sam was pissed but was laughing despite himself.

Gabriel stopped and turned towards Dean and Castiel as if to give them a show. He raised the camera up above his head as far as he could reach. “No way, Sambo. I got that picture fair and square. It’ll be a perfect addition to my ‘ _Album of Shame_ ’.

“You fucker!” Sam was laughing and jumping trying to snag it.

Castiel was shaking his head with a wide smile.

“What’s the ‘ _Album of Shame_ ’?" Dean asked Castiel while he wondered if he should break his brother and Gabriel apart before Sam actually got pissed. The kid was pretty Even Steven until he got angry and then it was bad times for the offender. Yeah, he was a small guy but he more than made up for that in his fierceness. Dean once watched him kick the ass of a bully twice his size.

Castiel answered, “Gabe has this thing he has done since he was fifteen. He likes to wait for people to pass out from intoxication and then he will set the stage by putting them in embarrassing situations and taking a picture. He has several albums already full. Seems your brother has fallen victim.”

“Huh.” Dean replied.

“All right, kiddo. Get your panties out of your crack. I’ll burn it as soon as it’s developed.” Gabriel made an annoyed face and took to turning the wheel on the camera to set it to take another picture.

“You swear?” Sam gave him a disbelieving look.

“Yeah. Swear on my Aunt Bertha.” Gabriel quickly changed the subject. “Okay love birds, get your sweet de-virginized asses on the porch. Picture time!”

Dean wanted to say no one’s ass was _de-virginized_ even though it might have been true. It was a little disturbing that not only did Gabriel say it out loud in front of his brother but the way Gabriel was acting like it was just another day-in-the-life of the Novaks' threw him. Instead, Dean replied with an, “Ah.”, his nervousness clearly showing through.

“Don’t give me that ‘ _Ah_ ’ crap. Come on.” Gabriel said as he walked to the porch.

Castiel tugged Dean over by the hand and Dean rolled his eyes with a groan but allowed himself to be pulled to the porch steps.

“Okay, you two. Sit, if you still can and look pretty.” Gabriel said as he started looking through the viewfinder.

Castiel groaned and Dean rolled his eyes as they sat down and scooted closer together. Castiel put his arm behind Dean, placing his hand on his lower back. Dean placed a hand on Castiel’s knee and looked at him with a shy smile that the other boy returned.

Gabriel looked at the image through the small window and smiled. He could see how happy his brother was and it was probably the first time he truly had been. It made Gabriel feel proud somehow and he vowed to himself he wouldn’t be the one to screw this up. In the past, his need to piss off their father had been greater than his concern about having to be moved around. Besides, Anna and Castiel had never been happy anywhere they had been anyway but both of them had found a place they wanted to be now. If he was honest with himself, so had he. Sam, even though much younger than him, was quickly becoming one of the closest friends he had ever had.

“So, what did you do?” Castiel asked Gabriel. Sam was standing next to Gabriel, looking like he was thinking of something really painful to do to him. Gabriel looked around the camera at Dean and his brother and shrugged as a smile crept across his mouth.

“Sambo here passed out on the couch and had the most amazing shark mouth going on, drool and all. So, I strategically placed a footlong hotdog in his fist that sat perfectly next to his face. Then, I placed a sign that said ‘ _I heart wieners!_ ’ next to him.

Dean, despite himself, started laughing and Castiel just shook his head with faint humor on his lips. They heard the click and Gabriel lowered the camera while turning the wheel to set for another picture.

 

“Perfect. I always preferred the genuine smiles over the fake ones, especially when it’s at someone else’s expense.” He winked at Sam and then handed the camera off to Castiel. “Take one of Sam and me.”

Castiel raised a brow as he looked from his brother to Sam. This was a new development. Gabriel rarely ever attached himself to anyone, especially since Kali. Gabriel’s first love had burnt him badly. They started seeing each other right before their mom had taken off and their dad started moving them around. The last time Gabriel heard from her, she had called on his birthday to dump him, informing him she had met someone else. Gabriel never let anyone in close after that besides Castiel and Anna. The other two exceptions were Meg and Ruby but they were emotionally distant enough that it never threatened Gabriel. Even when he and Meg were together, it was no secret both were in it for the fun and to keep their respective fathers’ noses out of the other aspects of their lives.

Gabriel grabbed Sam’s smaller frame into a side hug and wrapped a leg around the front of him, straddling his hips. Sam was laughing and Castiel snapped the shutter. A flash and a click later, the picture was taken. Gabriel unwrapped himself from around Sam and took the camera when Castiel handed it to him. Castiel watched as Gabriel ruffled Sam’s hair and Sam laughed, pushing Gabriel before they bounded into the house again. His attention was pulled away when he felt a hand slot into his and turned to find Dean smiling at him.

“Earth to Major Tom.” Dean said to him a soft chuckle accenting his words.

Castiel simply smiled and tugged Dean along into the house.

 

~*~

John had called around two to say he would be picking up Dean and Sam within the hour. While Gabriel, Anna, Amelia and Sam had hoarded themselves into Gabriel’s room where laughter bounded out at regular intervals, Castiel and Dean had gone to Castiel’s room to make out and get each other off again via quickie hand jobs before John arrived. With a quick peck on Dean’s lips, Castiel moved to the bookshelf. He reached up and finding what he was looking for, pulled five hardback books from off the shelf and turned to Dean.

“Here you go.” Castiel said, handing them out towards Dean. Dean walked over and took one from the top to examine the cover. “ _The Two Towers_.” He read out loud.

“ _Lord of the Rings_.” Castiel said. “If we’re going to be together, you’re going to have to read those. No exceptions.” Castiel said seriously.

A thrill went through Dean when Castiel so casually mentioned them being together. Still so strange but it felt way too good to worry over anymore. He looked up at Castiel and groaned.

“Dude. I don’t think I can read five books on top of Chuck’s two over the break!”

Castiel was writing something on a piece of stationary on his desk. Slipping the paper into one of the books, he picked them back up and practically shoved the rest into Dean’s arms.

“I wrote down the order I want you to read these in. _The Hobbit_ first.”

Dean groaned again, but went to his duffel bag and placed the books in it with care. It was obvious these meant a lot to Castiel so he was going to take care of them and he _would_ read them.

“No rush getting them back to me. Just enjoy them.” Castiel said as he flopped himself onto his bed putting his hands behind his head.

Dean flopped into the bed beside him and pulled him into his arms. “I promise I’ll read them, Cas.”

Castiel responded by pressing his lips to Dean’s and, pulling back, replied, “I know you will.”

 

 

~*~

The car ride home was punctuated with odd looks from John to Dean while a rock block of _Heart_ blared over the radio and Sam sang along to them like the girl he was. Dean wasn’t psychic but he was pretty sure a breakdown of the weekend would be requested and possibly an interrogation if the frown on his dad’s face was any indication. Dean sighed and stared out the passenger side window, already missing Castiel more than he wanted to admit. He smiled as he thought of Castiel’s touches, his lips on his, the way it had felt when Castiel was inside him and how safe he felt when Castiel held him. A snap of electric warmth twisted in his center just thinking of Castiel’s breath on his skin and the scent of his hair when Dean had placed his lips on the strands right above his temple before leaving. Then he was down the stairs and out the door to the waiting car. He could feel his dad’s eyes lingering on him longer than normal. His dad was probably wondering what was on his mind but Dean didn’t care. He just closed his eyes and pretended to doze.

As predicted, when they had reached the house and had gotten their things inside, John knocked on the door frame to Dean’s room. Dean looked up from where he was removing the books that Castiel had let him borrow. “Hey, Dad.” he said after a quick glance up and then back down to the books which he carried to his dresser and place on top.

“Hey, son.” John walked into the room but put his back against the wall next to the door instead of going all the way in. “I take it you boys had a good time?”

Dean looked over to John and then walked back to his duffle to finish unpacking. “Yeah. We had a blast.”

“What did you do?”

Dean stopped unpacking and looked at John, his brow tightening. “Just the usual. Video games, movies and food. Why?”

“Nothing.” John said. “Just curious.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean felt something was amiss even though he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. “You okay, Dad?”

John gave his son a small smile. “Yeah, Son. Just wanted to make sure you and Sammy are all right- that you two had a good time.”

Dean nodded and turned his attention to his duffle again though he remained concerned. There was sadness in his dad’s tone and it was unsettling.

“Did Castiel happen to talk to you about his family at all?” John asked.

And there it was, the interrogation portion of this conversation.

“Not really.” Dean shrugged and decided to sit on the edge of the bed. “Just that they move around a lot and that they are rich or something.”

John nodded. “Who are Castiel’s siblings again?”

Dean’s brow tightened even further in confusion. “Uh, Gabriel, Anna, Michael. Dad? Why’re you asking me this stuff?”

Instead of answering the question, John stepped away from the door and walked towards Dean. “I think it’s best Castiel comes here from now on.”

“What?!” Dean said almost too loud. “Missouri said it was okay!”

“I know what Missouri said, Dean, but change of plans. I don’t want you boys over there anymore.”

“But why?” Dean ask, his heart hammering in anger.

“Dean, I’m not going to fight with you on this. I’m giving an order, Son, and that’s the end of it.”

Dean stood up quickly and pushed past John going towards the door.

“Where are you going?” John asked his voice annoyed and strained.

“Out.” Dean answered before snatching up his jacket and heading out the door and down the stairs.

John put a hand on his hip and rubbed the other one over his face. When he heard the door slam as Dean exited, he sighed and wondered if he was doing the right thing. Until he knew what the Novak family was hiding, he just couldn’t reason putting his sons in any possible danger. Dean was going to hate him, probably Sam as well, but his priority was his boys, whether they understood that or not.

 


	6. December 23, 1988 (Friday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come in." He said as looked at his watch.
> 
> "I'm sorry, sir, but there's a man here wanting to see you. I told him you were busy but, well - he said to tell you, ‘ _The Prodigal Son has come home_ ’? He said you would know what it was about." His secretary informed him apologetically.
> 
> Michael stood quickly, almost knocking over his chair, causing his secretary to jump. He nervously adjusted his tie before responding, "Send him in, Maggie. Thank you."
> 
> Her eyes lingered on him, concerned before leaving. Michael took a deep breath, steadying himself. The door opened again but instead of Maggie…
> 
> "Luci." Michael uttered in disbelief.
> 
> "I don't go by that name anymore, Brother. I would ask that you refrain from ever uttering it again. It reminds me of a few things I loathe.” The sneer that formed over his mouth instantly caused Michael’s heart to pick up the pace under his ribs.
> 
> “Call me Draco instead." He said as he closed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to explain why there were no chapter updates last Sunday. Quite frankly, it was a shit week. It began when I made the comment on Tumblr that I believe Castiel is an integral part of SPN now and I felt if it wasn't for his character introduction, I'm not sure if the show would have had as long of a run as it has. Misha brought something amazing to the show and with his career with the show still up in the air at this time, tptb would be big dumb-dumbs to let him go (which... I'm siding more with they are keeping him especially after the nasty April Fools they pulled on him... cause if their intent is not to keep him or they have hints that they won't be, that was pretty damn cruel. Juuuuust sayin'). Anyway, all of this was my opinion, of course, and I never implied otherwise. Well, I sure ticked off someone cause :/ ... I was bombarded with the most vicious Misha hate I have ever encountered in the form of 13 Anon messages over on Tumblr. 
> 
> You can get the story and my reply here: [[X](http://arasiriel.tumblr.com/whydopeoplehatemishacollins)]
> 
> That just set a week of exams off to a good start and with having to deal with some very difficult people in my life... depression was in full swing. I conquered and prevailed thanks to the loving support and give em' hell attitude adjustments that some good friends gave me... so here I am. Back on track! 
> 
> I also added a few more songs on Player 2 [[X](http://www.podsnack.com/FDE7EAFEFB5/ahni29jk)] while I was at it including one that shows up in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and wonderful comments on this fic. It has really felt amazing and words can't even express how much it all means to me. Thank you!
> 
> Well, I'm releasing you now to go read. ENJOY!

## December 23, 1988 ( _Friday_ )

 

Dean woke to the lingering sensation of warm arms around him and breath on his ear as a voice spoke to him about safety and love. A voice which sounded exactly like Castiel’s. Dean gradually became conscious and as his eyes opened he could swear he heard the rustling of wings.

Another dream, except not at all like the ones he had before the weekend he and Castiel had spent together. Nightmares of death, burning flesh and demons he could only escape by surrendering to an abyss with the promise of eternal penance to be paid. That is, until someone finally caught him and carried him on white wings in a tight embrace. Each night after that weekend though, the dream continued to be about being saved and while he never could see the angel’s face, the figure too bright to see, he could still make out short dark tresses of hair and blue eyes. In the dream he had just woken from, the angel had set him down on the shores of a river. The sky dark, yet lit by a galaxy on the horizon. The water of the river looked nothing like any he had seen before. It was made of cerulean blue light and reflections of stars from above appeared like flakes of gold and sparks of diamonds on the water’s surface. Dean was staring at it in awe as the angel cradled him like a child while the Heavenly Being took his first step into the river before looking down at Dean and putting his lips to his ear. He spoke quietly in a voice so much like Cas’ but much older, much wiser, _“These are the Living Waters, Dean. They will lighten the weight on your soul, clothe you in new flesh. You will be made new and I will watch over you.”_ It was on the echo of those words Dean had awoken.

He looked around his bedroom taking in his surrounds in an effort to ground himself. The first light of the morning was touching a bright beam on the floor with dust bits dancing as if they were living things celebrating the sun’s attention. The scent of bacon, eggs as well as banana and pecan waffles wafted under Dean’s nose like a cruel tease.

He could hear Sam’s voice downstairs and then a round of laughter followed by a familiar voice saying something over a chuckle that sounded very much like Gabe’s. Dean was on his shaking legs lightning fast. Not bothering to dress over his navy blue boxers, he practically ran down the stairs, only slowing down on the last three steps.

His dad was standing at the stove opening the waffle iron and pulling four steaming confections off with a fork, adding them to the plate that was already heaping with others. John glanced up and caught his son’s eye. Instead of saying anything, John tilted his head in the direction of the living room and a small smile spread across his lips. Another ample amount of laughter tore from that direction as if on cue. There were a million questions on Dean’s mind as he rounded towards the dining room which led to where the ruckus was coming from.

He stood in the doorway taking in the sight of Sam and Gabriel on the couch and Castiel sitting in the recliner talking animatedly about something on the TV. Castiel was the first to look up as if sensing Dean’s eyes on him.

Castiel smiled, happy to see Dean but something clinched in his chest. It had been four whole days of not seeing Dean and while they had spoken on the phone since John had told his sons that they couldn’t come to his house anymore, actually seeing Dean in just his boxers, fresh from sleep and looking so pleased to see him, shot a sensation through him he was quickly coming to associate with Dean’s special power over him.

Sam, being his usual hyper self, started filling Dean in with rapidly firing words.

“Cas called and asked Dad if it was okay if they came over and Dad was cool with it! So cool, he asked Cas if they wanted to stay the night!”

Dean stared in wonder as Sam laid down on the couch and put his feet in Gabriel’s lap. Gabriel glanced at Sam with a surprised but fond smile. Dean’s brow tightened but the question on his lips died when Castiel stood in front of his view.

“Plus, we have reading to do.” Castiel said. It took everything Dean had not to reach out and grab Castiel into his arms and kiss his perfect mouth. Just the scent of him was driving Dean nuts.

“R-reading?” Dean asked, swallowing back on his desires which hung heavy in his throat.

Dean felt a hand clasp on his shoulder firmly and Dean looked up into the face of his dad who stood behind him. “What I thought. You’ve already forgotten about Mr. Shurly’s assignment.” John said with a small smile.

“Oh, right.” Dean said looking back at Castiel who winked at him and Dean suddenly felt naked. Especially since his dick twitched at the gesture and at the knowledge sinking in that Castiel would be with him and in his bed once night time came.

“I’ve invited them to stay through Christmas too, seeing as their father is out of town.” John added.

Dean’s eyes snapped back to his dad’s and one of John’s apologetic smiles spread across his mouth. John patted his son’s shoulder a few times before turning to go back to the kitchen. This was totally unexpected. Dean and his dad had barely spoken two words to each other since the night of the confrontation. The fight Sam and John had the next day grew so intense that Dean had to leave the house again. His brother was young but he was fearless, mature and smart. He always gave as well as he got and Dean never asked if Sam had gotten the belt for that fight but something about Sam’s self-assertiveness when Dean came home told him that Sam had won that round whether an ass whoopin’ had been a part of it or not. Sam barely spoke as well to their dad and it had been a very awkward week.

Watching his dad round the corner and hearing him back to getting breakfast ready, Dean turned to Castiel and reached out to take his hand. Dean tilted his head and nodded it towards the kitchen indicating Castiel to follow him and let go of his hand.

Castiel followed behind Dean and, despite himself, he couldn’t stop staring at Dean’s ass all the way up the stairs, his own jeans becoming tighter and the ache in his groin getting stronger. Castiel quickly palmed his erection as they got to the top of the stairs. Rounding into Dean’s room, Castiel found himself pushed up against the wall and his mouth being assaulted. Dean’s hands were everywhere at once and his tongue was lapping as deep as he could get it into Castiel’s mouth. He reveled in the sensations, as brutal as they were, and gave back as best as Dean would allow. Before Castiel could register another thought, Dean’s knee was between the V of Castiel’s legs and his hand down his pants cupping all of Castiel. Fingers making delicate touches on Castiel who was already painfully hard. With a rut of Dean’s hips grinding into Castiel, Dean moaned into his mouth. Dean was thankful for the Eagles’ ‘ _Seven Bridges Road_ ’ coming across the radio John had just turned on and up. Dean moaned again and pulled away his lips just enough to break the kiss, but still lightly touching.

“I’ve missed you.” Dean said in a whisper.

“I can’t tell.” A chuckle came from Castiel as he began stroking Dean’s erection through his boxers.

“Fuck.” Dean mouthed as Castiel began nipping at Dean’s bottom lip.

“Breakfast is ready, guys!” John shouted over the music from the foot of the stairs and both Dean and Castiel jumped, hands moving quickly away from each other.

Dean groaned before calling back down, “Be there in a minute, Dad!” His voice tight with need and fear of getting caught. He turned back to Castiel and planted a soft kiss to his lips briefly and moved away reluctantly to his dresser to dig around for something to wear.

Castiel sighed, trying to calm the rushing blood in his ears and his cock. He moved from the wall and, after adjusting himself, sat on Dean’s bed. He watched as Dean dressed and marveled at how every movement Dean made, no matter how mundane, lit a fire in him. He was very disappointed when Dean had told him John didn’t want the Winchesters' over anymore. Gabriel had been so uncharacteristically pissed, he had left in his car squealing his tires. Castiel had been too distracted by Gabriel’s reaction to hone in on his own feelings. It wasn’t until yesterday, when he had been at the height of missing Dean that he had decided to call and speak with John about coming over to work on the Khalil Gibran project Chuck wanted done over the Christmas break.

It had surprised Castiel when John had asked him what his family’s plans were for Christmas out of the blue. Upon Castiel telling him there really was no plans and that his father and older brother were out of town, John had invited Castiel, Gabriel and Anna to spend Christmas with them. Of course Castiel said yes to that.

“Where’s Anna?” Dean asked, as if reading Castiel’s mind.

“She’s staying with her girlfriend but will be here tomorrow night.” Castiel replied while twisting the corner piece of sheet between his index finger and thumb.

“Oh.” was Dean’s response as he watch Castiel’s fingers work the edge. There was something hypnotic in watching his fingers move - steady and graceful. Dean walked over to Castiel and he touched Castiel’s hand, stilling his fingers. Castiel looked up just as Dean leaned over him and kissed his lips briefly before straightening again.

“Come on, Cas. Sam will eat it all if we don’t get down there.”

 

~*~

John had made a feast and as he looked at everyone smiling, laughing and digging in, he couldn’t help but feel better about himself. He had already been thinking of calling the Novak children and inviting them over for the weekend and ask them if they would like to spend Christmas with them when Castiel had called. In all the digging he had been doing, he learned that these children were without adult supervision. He knew Gabriel would be eighteen in a few months and if the information was correct, the siblings had been on their own for a few years at the very least. After learning this about them, John had gone to their schools and spoke with their teachers. All three children were known as smart, polite and hardworking. All three were straight A students and that had impressed John enough. They were on their own and doing well but they were still alone and not quite old enough for John to feel comfortable. So he had taken it upon himself to watch over them however he could or however they would let him.

There was also the fact that his son’s friendship with Castiel was more than - friendship. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about that bit of development. When Missouri had chastised him for keeping Dean and Sam from the Novaks', she had huffed at John’s obliviousness to the growing bond or why Dean and even Sam reacted with more anger than seem warranted.

 _“You need to prepare yourself, John, for the reality that what’s between Castiel and Dean isn’t just friendship.”_ she had said.

 _“What do you mean? A kinship bond?”_ he had answered, confused.

The wide-eyes and pinched lipped glare she gave him pretty much told him to think higher up the ‘ _bonding_ ’ scale. It had unsettled him and he almost reared up and told her she was crazy but- it was Missouri. She never made shit up and she was never wrong. Perhaps if he was the religious type, he would be far-less capable of accepting the information. John was Agnostic at best and while it didn’t change how he felt about his son, he did fear for the ridicule Dean would get if it was ever found out.

He smiled though when he thought of his son kicking a queer hater’s ass. John was never fond of the crude joking some of his friends would get caught up in and he did his best to avoid it but, to be honest, he had his own fears and concerns which allowed laughter to fall from his own mouth. Unfortunately, Dean had been present for some of those not-so-proud moments and he wondered what his must be thinking of him right now.

He looked at his son and watched Dean meeting Castiel’s eyes with his own, the glances between them affectionate and knowing. Despite John’s misgivings about the situation, his smile grew wider - fonder. John remembered when he and Mary used to pass similar glances across the table as her father likely observed them this way as well with his own list of misgivings about them being together. There was that same innocence of first love and while John was weary of what this could spell for Dean in the long run, the last thing he was going to do was put his doubts and fears in the middle of it. John remembered all too well how Mary’s father’s hatred of him had led to way too much pain and broken hearts when all he and Mary wanted to do was soak into being in love. He wouldn’t be the person who did that to his son. Instead, he would play dumb until those things inside himself were laid to rest and he could go to his son and let him know that it was okay- that _he_ was okay with whomever his son decided to love.

Until then, though, he promised himself and Missouri to allow the boys to spend time together minus the Novak residence. He refused to budge in that department. While the Novak children were safe, all the equations were starting to line up and he didn’t like the figures he was beginning to see with murder topping the list. It was all John needed to justify keeping his sons out of danger. This way, he could keep an eye on the Novak siblings as well. If he was lucky maybe the siblings might reveal more about their family, the kind of things that his normal mode of investigation couldn’t uncover. He wouldn’t push, though - no matter how much the cop in him screamed for him to do otherwise. They were not perps or suspects and their welfare was top priority. John was very aware just asking questions of them could put them in danger. He wouldn’t put them at risk. He would find another way.

“So you said your sister will be here tomorrow night?” John directed the question towards Gabriel as he popped another slice of yellow tomato into his mouth.

Gabriel nodded and swallowed down a slice of maple syrup covered bacon. “Mmm. Yes, sir. She’s with her girlfriend, but Amelia’s family will be leaving to visit family. They’ll drop her off on their way out.”

Dean shot a glance to his dad at Gabriel’s mention of Anna having a girlfriend and saw, curiously, that his dad’s features hadn’t changed and he wondered if his father had even heard Gabriel.

“Good, good.” John responded wiping a napkin over his mouth. “I figured I'd take you boys out to the firing range after breakfast is cleaned up. How’s that sound?”

“You mean to actually shoot guns? Us?” Gabriel asked wide-eyed.

John chuckled, “Yes. Everyone should know how to use a firearm and about gun safety. Dean and Sammy have been handling guns since they were eight.”

“Any chance you could start us out with a BB gun? I’ve never touched a gun in my life. Might shoot my foot off.” Gabriel cantered and John chuckled again.

“If you listen to me, you’ll be fine. It is actually a good thing that you’re cautious.”

“Okay.” Gabriel said, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shoveled the last fork full of waffle into his mouth before sitting back and sighing contently. “Probably the best breakfast I’ve ever had. Thanks, Mr. J.” Gabriel stated after he swallowed.

John smiled at Gabriel and nodded, “Well, let’s get cleaned up here and you two need to get some studying done while we do.” John pointed his fork at Castiel and then Dean. “And I mean actual work, Dean.” John added.

For all intents and purposes, Dean was sure his dad meant that they should be working instead of playing video games or sitting in the room listening to music and talking, but that didn’t stop Dean’s heart from kicking up a few notches, especially when his dad added, “With the door open.”

Dean’s eyes flickered from his dad to Castiel and then back to his dad again. Castiel showed no signs of registering anything in John’s words but the look John was giving Dean when he turned back to the man appeared _knowing_.

“Yes, sir.” Dean replied, his voice low and cautionary. He happened to glance at Gabriel and Sam only to see smug looks on their faces. Dean quickly wished he hadn’t looked at them when his cheeks started to flush a violent shade of crimson in front of everyone.

 

~*~

The sun was out and while the wind was brutal enough to cut through flesh and bone, there was still enough heat to keep it tolerable. They crossed a field leading to a long table opposite of various targets in the distance, most of which were already loaded with bullet holes. Dean felt Castiel brush against him from time to time as they made their way across the field and Dean couldn’t help but look at him and smile. The one Castiel returned anchored Dean and warmed him in ways totally alien to him. He had spent so many years feeling empty, cold. Now he was filling up with the sun. Dean winced at that and blamed the incoming poetic observations on all the Gibran he had been reading lately. Dean was _not_ turning into some romance bitten poet. Once they reached the table, John hefted the sea bag he had been shouldering onto the table.

“All right. We have several firearms to shoot today. A Glock 19, a .44 Magnum, a Springfield .30-06 and a Winchester pump-action 12 gauge that has been in my family since the 50‘s. We’ll take turns letting off a few rounds but we always start off target practice with field stripping.”

Gabriel was looking all amounts of intimidated as he hung back from the table but Castiel on the other hand stood close to the table, seeming very interested in observing everything. Dean and Sam walked around the table and sat on the wooden stools provided for those wanting to calibrate their scopes. Sam and Dean’s movements almost synchronized, evidence of how many times they had done this over the years. John reached into the sea bag, pulled out two solid black handguns and laid one in front of each of his boys.

Dean smiled, looking down at the gun in front of him and rested his hands on the table palms down while Sam cracked his knuckles and gave a roll of his shoulders before putting his hands on the table in a similar manner as well. John reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a simple stopwatch.

“I’m gonna win this time, Dean.” Sam said.

“Yeah, give it your best shot, short stack.” Dean replied.

“You boys ready?” John asked, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“Yes.” Dean and Sam replied in unison.

As soon as John clicked the bottom, Dean and Sam’s hands shot to the Glocks and in a flurry of movements, the handguns came apart. Castiel watched their movements intently, completely fascinated. Just when Dean and Sam had gotten the Glocks completely broken down, they set back to putting them back together just as fast. Sam was the first to finish.

“HA! YES!” Sam roared as he slapped the table with his fist and Dean groaned.

“So, boys? You wanna give it a go?” John asked, his smile full of pride in his sons.

Gabriel shook his head back and forth, standing back from the table. “Looks way too complicated. I think I’ll pass. Cassie on the other hand might want to.” Gabriel reached forward, giving his brother a nudge.

Castiel turned to look at him with a scowl on his face. “No need to push me. I’ll do it.” He sat down at the table looking at the Glock that Dean had disassembled and reassembled again when John called out, “Ready?” as he held up the stop watch.

Not taking his eyes off of the gun, Castiel nodded. As soon as he heard the click, his hands set into motion, first checking that the safety was on, removed the magazine and checked to make sure the chamber was clear. Castiel didn’t know what any of the parts were called but the freaky accuracy of his photographic memory made mimicking what Dean had done earlier easy.

Pointing the gun to the ground, he pulled the trigger in what he was sure was a way to make sure the chamber was indeed empty. He located the release levers on each side before placing his right hand on top of it and slightly pulling back on the top part. He continued to hold the top of the gun back and pushed down on the release levers with his thumb and index finger of his left hand which resulted in the top of the gun coming off. He removed what looked like a spring and the barrel and then sat the parts down before picking them up and reassembled in the reverse order he had taken it apart. When he was done, he sat the gun down and he heard the click of John’s stopwatch.

Castiel looked up to see the perplexed look on John’s face whose eyes were still aimed at the watch then let his eyes roam to where Dean and Sam stood. Sam’s mouth was gaped open with a smile tugging at the corners but Dean’s eyes were wide with no other expression on his face.

“I have a photographic memory.” Castiel offered in a hurried explanation.

Gabriel was chuckling now and Castiel shot him another irritated look.

“I’d say you do, and fast! You broke Sammy’s time.” John said as he brought the watch down and tucked it back into the pocket of his jacket. “That was something to watch. Now I just need to teach you whats and whys of the process so you can add knowledge to the know-how.” John’s features were back to being happy and relaxed which made Castiel feel a little more at ease. “Now, time for some shooting.” John picked the gun up from the table and checked it over before taking his place behind the bench rest, taking aim looking down the barrel from rear sight to front sight of the gun and lining up to the targets which sat in front of an exterior berm made of earth and concrete.

He fired a shot and hit the left most target with a perfect center shot. Clicking the safety back on, he then handed the gun off to Sam before heading back to the table and picking up the other Glock. He did the same check and then after returning to the rest bench, made another shot to the same target, the bullet hitting close to where the first hole was made.

He turned and clicked the safety before handing it off to Dean. Both boys made their way to the rest bench and John instructed, “Five shots then hand off to let Gabriel and Castiel have a go.”

Sam and Dean both nodded and began taking aim at their respected ends of the rest bench.

“Far left target.” Sam informed.

“Target next to Dad’s.” Dean added and both began their five shot turn. When they were done, Sam had sunk two in the head and three in the center. Dean had sunk all five dead center.

Dean and Sam turned and made their way back to the table and handed their respective guns to Gabriel and Castiel. Castiel took Dean’s but Gabriel shook his head.

“Nah, that’s okay, Sambo. How about you take my turn for me?”

“You sure?” Sam asked.

“One hundred percent.” Gabriel responded with a wink.

“Thanks!” Sam said with a big smile and something within Gabriel expanded at the sight of it and the sensation continued as he watched Sam return to the bench. A big smile of his own spread across his face despite trying to contain it.

Castiel made his way slowly to the bench as well and while Sam was already beginning his next ten shots, Castiel remained standing and looking unsure.

“Whatcha waiting for, Cas?” Dean called out.

He turned to Dean with uncertainty written all over him. “I’ve never shot a gun before. Not sure what I’m supposed to be doing besides pointing and squeezing the trigger.”

Dean looked to his dad who nodded to him that it was okay he played instructor this time around. "Here." He said as he approached Castiel and, taking the boy’s shoulders in his hands, turned Castiel towards the targets. He pressed his chest against Castiel's back. "Like this." He said close to Castiel’s ear, his chin nearly resting on his shoulder. Reaching down, Dean took a hold of Castiel's hand that was clutching the gun and brought his other arm around Castiel while guiding the gun holding hand up with the other. Dean slid his leg between Castiel’s and after a brief rub of Cas' inner thigh, he kicked at Castiel’s feet. "Spread ‘em a little more."

Castiel couldn’t see the grin but he felt it there as Dean’s lips and cheek ever so gently brushed against Castiel’s ear. A strip of goose bumps spread from the base of his neck down his back and arms. He shivered slightly and Dean chuckled. The flirting while Dean's father was possibly watching instantly flustered Castiel. He turned to look back and found instead John busy with Sam and Gabriel showing off the other guns in his bag. Even though Dean was obviously aware John wasn’t watching, he was still taken aback by Dean’s brazen _demonstrations_. Castiel finally complied with the kicks to his feet as Dean was connecting their hands together over the gun.

"Mmm, perfect positioning. One hand on the grip and the other cupping to provide stability when the gun goes off." Dean said into his neck before planting a quick brush of lips. Castiel closed his eyes as blood rushed to his face and his dick. He was pretty damn sure that if the safety hadn't been on he would have pulled the trigger.

“Fucker." Castiel said lowly. Dean chuckled again as he rubbed his thumb briefly over Castiel's trigger finger and then pulled away, taking a step back.

"Now, don't move, Cas. Aim. Make sure the place you want to hit lines up with the rear and the front sights. Take a deep breath and as you let it out, squeeze the trigger.

Castiel drew his awareness back to the gun. He slid his finger to the lock and clicked it while taking a deep breath. He eyed down the barrel of the gun allowing the rear and front sights to line up as Dean had instructed. He let his breath out and pulled back on the trigger. After a loud pop and kick from the gun, Castiel clicked the safety back on and lowered the gun.

John let out a long whistle. "Not bad."

Castiel turned to look at Dean and found him smiling at him proudly. He turned back to the target observing that a hole rested but a few centimeters from the center.

Castiel turned his face to Dean again as Dean called out, “You’ve got four more shots. You good or do you need a little more of my particular instructional skill?”

Dean winked and Castiel narrowed his eyes at him shaking his head slightly. “No. I think I can handle myself from here on out.”

Dean’s own eyes squinted at that innuendo filled remark that might have hurt feelings if he hadn’t been very aware that Castiel’s body was still facing away from the others trying to hide the boner that Dean felt pride in giving him.

Castiel turned his head back to the target and in a perfect stance ( _if Dean could say so himself_ ) plugged four more bullets into the target’s head. Castiel lowered the gun and slipped the safety on before walking up to Dean and putting it out to him.

“Think I’m good.” Castiel replied, the slightest of a frown on his face.

Dean took the gun and noticed the change in Castiel. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” He replied and walked past Dean towards the others.

Dean’s mind started to race, thinking over what had happened in the last few minutes which would have upset Castiel but came up with nothing as he followed behind him.

“Sure you don’t want to give it a go, son?” John asked Gabriel handing the gun out towards him

“No offense, Mr. J, but I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

“That would work as an excuse if you were not already proficient at Aikido, Gabe.” Castiel informed with an almost roll of his eyes.

“Hey, it’s the way of the peaceful warrior.” Gabriel replied aghast.

“You boys are trained in martial arts?” John ask curiously as he packed up the Glocks and began loading the thirty-aught-six.

“Yup. All of us began training at six. Father insisted.” Gabriel replied.

“Do you think you could teach my boys a few things? They know some basic hand-to-hand but I would like them to learn a little more.”

“Yes!” Sam nearly shouted and Gabriel laughed.

“Sure, Mr. J. Cassie and I could do that. Besides, we’ve gotten a little rusty having been out of a dojo for a year now. We had just begun learning Bujinkan which is like the evil cousin to Aikido.”

“I actually enjoyed Bujinkan.” Castiel pouted.

“Well, boys. Let’s get some more shots off before we have to head back.”

 

~*~

Michael sat at his desk eyeing the figures on his computer screen. The green letters, numbers and symbols caused his eyes to cross. Closing them, he pinched the bridge of his nose hoping that the ache behind them wasn’t the echoes of another migraine coming on. This was the least favorite part of his responsibilities but Father needed the statistics in time for his return from Hong Kong and whatever Father wanted, he would do. It was his lot in life and while he questioned at times the sacrifices he had made for the company- for his father, it never stuck. This was what he was born to do and it was an honor to take the company his father had built from ground zero. He savored the satisfaction he felt from having had a hand in making Elysium the global influence it was. He might not have a wife or children to pride himself on but he had his achievements and above all, his father’s favor. He sighed and saved what he had to the floppy, allowing the knocking and scratching sounds of the saving process to finish before turning off the screen. A knock sounded on his office door.

"Come in." He said as looked at his watch.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there's a man here wanting to see you. I told him you were busy but, well - he said to tell you, ‘ _The Prodigal Son has come home’_? He said you would know what it was about." His secretary informed him apologetically.

Michael stood quickly, almost knocking over his chair, causing his secretary to jump. He nervously adjusted his tie before responding, "Send him in, Maggie. Thank you."

Her eyes lingered on him, concerned before leaving. Michael took a deep breath, steadying himself. The door opened again but instead of Maggie…

"Luci." Michael uttered in disbelief.

"I don't go by that name anymore, Brother. I would ask that you refrain from ever uttering it again. It reminds me of a few things I loathe.” The sneer that formed over his mouth instantly caused Michael’s heart to pick up the pace under his ribs.

“Call me Draco instead." He said as he closed the door behind him.

Michael didn't miss his brother turning the lock which didn’t help the growing anxiety. "Why are you here?" he managed.

Draco’s sneer turned softer for a moment and then coy like he could see the effect his presence was having on his brother. He drew closer until he was standing over Michael's desk.

"I was in town and figured since your father was out of the country, I'd stop in for an overdue chat."

Michael chuckled at that, his anxiety turning to a slow burn of anger. "A chat?" Michael gestured with his hand for his brother to take a seat as he sat down.

Draco remained standing, looking down at his brother for a moment before taking a seat, adjusting the jacket of his navy pinstripe Indie suit. He then rubbed his hands along the leather arm rests and gave a "Hmm?" before bringing his gaze up to his brother again. "Must be doing well. Leather now instead of pleather."

"Why are you here- Draco?" Michael asked again, the anger starting to show in his tone. "Surely it's not to discuss decor."

Draco stilled, his steely blue eyes locking onto his brother's. Finally he answered, "I came here to offer you the chance to join me, one last time."

"Why does your delivery of ’ _last time_ ’ sound like a threat?” Michael leveled his eyes at his brother.

“Not a threat, but there is always a cause and effect to every decision, isn’t there?” Draco replied as he looked down at his cuffs and adjusted them before looking back up again, the fondness gone and replaced with the features of a predator.

The look only made Michael angrier. “What’s your proposal? Hmm? Join you in your criminal pursuits?” Michael squinted in disbelief at his brother’s audacity. “You think that would interest me in any way?”

Draco’s eyes remained steady on his brother, showing no surprise at Michael’s revelation of knowing more than Draco thought he would have.

“I should be flattered. Deem me less than fit to be called ‘ _family_ ’ but still worthy enough to keep tabs on?”

“Father felt you were dangerous. He was right.” Michael replied.

The hint of a grin that had been ever present on Draco’s mouth from the moment he walked in fell suddenly. “Tell me, Brother, what is the difference between what I do and what you and Father do on the side?”

Michael sat forward, leaning in towards Draco, “We don't steal women and children in the middle of the night and sell them into slavery and prostitution.”

Draco laughed cold and mirthlessly. He nodded his head as if agreeing, “Oh, that's right. You think your crimes are somehow righteous while you jockey on the backs of nations at the brink of war which _kills_ women and children instead. Very noble. I must warn you though, even Pontius Pilot continued to see the blood of the innocent on his hands long after washing them.”

Michael stood slowly, anger and a long buried pain bubbled to the surface. “I think it’s time you leave.”

The sting of the words caused Draco to flinch and his eyes suddenly began to brim with the beginnings of tears. “You don’t want to do this, Michael.” His lip quivered as he added a hissed, “Please.” When Michael’s countenance seemed to falter Draco stood too and added, “We are brothers, Michael, and until Father ripped us apart, we were inseparable. We can be that again.” Draco began to reach out his hand towards his brother, “Just leave Father...”

“Stop.” Michael nearly whispered, his eyes squarely on his brother, his own tears coming forward. “My brother died a long time ago. You may look and sound like him, but you are not him. Not anymore. Just, please- leave.”

Draco’s hand that hung on empty air slowly fell to his side, a shadow fell over his face and the tears were gone as quickly as they had come. He allowed his gaze to wander over his brother one last time before turning to leave. Draco never turned back around even as he closed the door quietly behind him with a calm click.

Michael sat down again putting his head into his hands and let the tears fall on his desk.

 

~*~

Castiel didn’t know why he was so angry, but he very much was. When they had climbed into the Impala he had purposefully put his hands in his lap, keeping them visible. If Dean wanted to hold his hand he was going to have to take hold of it in front of everyone, including his father. In as much as it was a dare, in some skewed way it was also his way of insuring Dean wouldn’t try. The contradiction of wants were just making the anger mount. Dean’s blatant flirting and then intentionally turning him on while John’s attention was drawn had pissed him off and while he couldn’t quite nail down as to why, a single thought kept ruminating. ‘ _Keep it a secret. No one can know._ ’

So, it wasn’t okay for him to make these gestures and risk getting found out, but Dean could do it like it was a game and he was supposed to be okay with that? He could feel Dean’s concerned eyes on him from time to time and Gabriel kept looking back at the both of them from the front seat which Sam had offered to him. Sam, of course, was oblivious with his eyes honed into the novel in his hands which Castiel believed was ‘ _Pride and Prejudice_ ’ from the passage he had just read over Sam’s shoulder in his attempt to ignore Dean and Gabriel.

He felt a timid nudge in his rib cage and ignored it. It was followed by another more firm one which caused him to jerk from the pressure. He whirled his head around prepared to deliver a ‘ _fuck off_ ’ when his eyes met those gorgeous green orbs and an unsure smile. In a blink of an eye, the anger that had been at the boiling point disappeared completely to be replaced by a warm and expanding sensation in his chest.

Castiel James Novak was completely and utterly fucked.

Dean mouthed a silent, “ _What’s wrong?_ ”

Castiel replied in the same way, “ _Nothing. It’s okay._ ” He wanted to smack himself as soon as he mouthed the words.

Dean nodded and placed his jacket between them and slid his hand under it. A moment more and Castiel did the same, mentally cursing himself further while he entwined their fingers. Dean’s timid smile grew into a much bigger one and Castiel found himself smiling back, the sensations in his chest spreading out through the rest of his body. Feeling eyes on him, Castiel turned his gaze to his brother who was looking back at him. If the raised eyebrow and crooked grin was anything to go by, his brother knew he was pretty fucked too.

Castiel raised an discreet middle finger and Gabriel snorted before turning back around. The Police’s “ _Wrapped Around Your Finger_ ” began to place on the radio, which John turned up and Gabriel snorted again. All Castiel could do was think, ‘ _Shit.’_ and _‘Fuckin-A’_ the rest of the ride.

 

~*~

“I think I’ll be heading to bed early tonight, boys.” John informed after helping Sam dry the last of the dinner dishes. “You feel free to continue having fun but don’t stay up too late. I figured we’d head into town in the morning for some last minute Christmas shopping before the stores close. I also have to go into the precinct for a few hours after to wrap a few things up but should be back in time for Anna to arrive.”

“Sure thing.” Dean replied as he placed a stack of clean plates in the cabinet.

“Keep the party upstairs and noise level down to a minimum. Night, boys.” John said as he hooked the drying towel around the handle of the stove and headed out of the kitchen.

As soon as John was out of sight and his door closed, Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and began pulling him up the stairs.

Sam watched the quick retreat and rolled his eyes before turning his attention to Gabriel. “Feel like a video game?”

“Will it drown out the sexy sounds?” Gabriel asked lowly.

Sam made a face, “I’m not sure, but we can always pretend Bowser is just really getting into throwing his flaming balls at Mario.” he replied and shrugged. There was a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Bowser might need to get that checked out.” Gabriel suggested and Sam chuckled then. “Sure Sambo, I’m up for watching Bowser play with his balls.”

Sam really laughed then and a faint, “Take it upstairs!” came from the direction of John’s room.

“Sorry, Dad!” Sam called back as he tugged on Gabriel’s shirt. “Come on.” he said as he headed up the stairs and Gabriel followed.

Once settled and game console turned on Gabriel asked, “What can you tell me about Jo?”

“Jo Harvelle?” Sam asked as he clicked the A button a couple times, starting the first level of the game.

“Yeah.”

“She’s pretty cool. She’s older than Dean. She got held back in first and sixth grade I think. So she’ll be seventeen this summer.”

Gabriel nodded at this and asked, “Why did she get held back? She seems pretty smart.”

Sam’s Mario fell off the flower pipe, ending his turn and answered with a shrug, “Don’t know. She doesn’t seem to care too much about school but she’s the one who helped me learn Calculus last year.”

Gabriel’s brows raised at that. “Calculus?”

“Yeah.” Sam replied and paused a beat before adding, “She and Dean dated. I think they were each other’s first.”

Gabriel’s Mario ran straight off the edge and into the lava pit. “Wait. What?!”

Sam laughed, “Don’t worry. They’re just friends.” He turned a wide smile towards his friend who didn’t seem comforted by Sam’s words at all. “Anna’s right, you like her.”

Gabriel shifted, “Yeah, she’s cute.”

Sam kept smiling at him and Gabriel turned his eyes to him, “What?”

“Cute. Right.” Sam laughed then.

“Shut up.” Gabriel said ruffling Sam’s hair which made Sam laugh even harder until there was a knock on the floor beneath them, obviously a warning from John.

They quieted and Sam started clicking away on his controller, a smile still running wide which Gabriel couldn’t help but find himself mirroring. The kid was infectious, after all.

“What?” Gabriel chuckled.

“I think she likes you too if that makes any difference.”

Gabriel’s gaze went from Sam to the TV screen and he began to chew at his bottom lip.

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

~*~

Castiel’s breath hitched as Dean wrapped his hand around Castiel’s cock in a firm grip. “Dean, you don’t have...”

“I want to.” Dean replied looking up at Castiel from where he was nestled between Castiel’s legs.

“Y- you seem unsure.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t know what I’m doing.” Dean replied.

“B-but are you sure y-you’re sure?”

With that Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. He crawled his way back up the length of Castiel’s body, taking one of Castiel’s hands in his and putting it on his own erection. “Does that feel like I’m unsure?” Dean said with a satisfied smirk when Castiel whimpered and shook his head.

Dean used his own hand to guide Castiel’s as Castiel wrapped his fingers around him and Dean pumped his cock into it a few times, his eyes closing. A moan escaped Dean’s lips as he bit down on his bottom lip. Castiel jutted his hips upward trying to get friction of his own when Dean opened his eyes.

“Nope.” he said, smiling slyly as he let go of Castiel’s hand and made his way back down his body to take Castiel back into his hand again. Dean’s tongue made a hot, wet swipe along the underneath of his cock and God help him, Castiel whimpered again.

Dean chuckled as his eyes made contact with Castiel’s and licked again, this time ending in his mouth sheathing over its head. A bead of pre-cum came forward and Dean licked over it, humming at how excited the knowledge of what he was doing made him. Castiel’s legs shook and something about both actions had Dean’s heart hammering inside his chest. Dean’s mouth slid down further and Castiel whispered his name between a choked gasp. Dean came back up and lifted his mouth off of Castiel, his hand continuing to slowly pump his cock in a steady rhythm. Their eyes met one more time before Dean went back down again, swirling his tongue in much the same way as Castiel had done before which caused Castiel’s legs to tremble even more. It only took a few more effective swipes before Castiel could feel his orgasm building.

“Dean, I’m...”

Dean held Castiel’s hip with his other hand to keep Castiel from pulling back and out of his mouth. “God...” Castiel threw his head back and came so hard that he saw stars on the back of his eyelids. It took everything he had not to curse out into the quiet of the room and held his breath instead which seemed to lengthen the euphoria.

Dean surprised himself as he swallowed Castiel down without even a thought. The taste of him, just the knowledge that he was taking in and consuming some part of him caused Dean to come too, hard- the pressure of his cock again the mattress all that was needed. Dean’s moan turned into a soft growl, his mouth still around Castiel’s cock as Castiel pumped the last of himself into it. Dean wrapped his free hand around his own pulsing cock and pulled at it until the last of his orgasm spilled out onto the sheets. It was then he took his mouth off Castiel and he stared at the other boy, gob smacked.

“Fuck.” Castiel said, breathless.

Dean stood shakily and made his way to his dresser. He pulled out a shirt and made his way back to the bed. He wiped up Castiel, himself and then the spot on the bed where he had messed up. He tossed the shirt into the corner of the room and then laid down half over Castiel, allowing his head to rest on Castiel’s chest, his arm wrapped around his stomach.

Castiel reached down the side of the bed and pulled the comforter up from the floor and around their naked bodies before wrapping his arms around Dean. A momentary concern swept over him in reaction to Dean’s continued silence.

“Are you okay?” Castiel whispered into his hair. He could feel a smile spread across Dean’s mouth as it rested against him. Dean nuzzled into him and pulled Castiel in tighter before saying, “Mmm, better than okay.”

Castiel smiled at that and kissed the top of Dean’s head. “Yeah, me too.”

 

 

 

 

 


	7. December 24, 1988 (Saturday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, Mom. Really?” Jo said taking the seat between Gabriel and Castiel. Gabriel stiffened as Jo’s eyes lingered on him and a smile slipped over her lips.
> 
> “Hey.” She said.
> 
> Gabriel turned to her then, “Hey, Jo.”
> 
> He caught sight of the astonished look that was spread over his brother’s face from over Jo’s shoulder. Castiel’s mouth parted and his eyes narrowed. Gabriel flipped him off from behind her back before clearing his throat. “Ummm, how’s it hanging?”
> 
> Castiel completely and utterly lost his shit.
> 
> Laughter rolled out of him and it proved infectious when Dean and Sam did the same. John and Ellen simply shook their head and Jo just continued to smile at him. There was affection there rather than humor at his expense which kept him from running from the restaurant altogether.
> 
> Instead of making fun of him as Gabriel expected, she replied, “A little to the left cowboy.” and winked. For the second time that day, everything was right with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New songs on [Player Two](http://www.podsnack.com/FDE7EAFEFB5/ahni29jk)! And while I don't mention Alastair's name, he appears. I wanted to give everyone a idea of how I picture him in this fic so here's an image that is pretty close: [ALASTAIR](http://www.glenntalent.ca/wp-glenntalent/wp-content/uploads/Heyerdahl-Chris.jpg)

## December 24, 1988 ( _Saturday_ )

“ _Dean_.”

Dean attempted to roll over in protest at hearing his brother whispering his name but his motion was hindered by arms wrapped heavily around him.

“ _Dean. Dude,_ w _ake up_!”

“What, huh?” Dean lifted his head looking around his room still confused- and naked. He made eye contact with his brother who was standing in the door way wide-eyed and shifting nervously.

“ _Dad’s up!_ ” Sam said after a glance over his shoulder.

That‘s when realization hit him. “ _Shit._ Thanks Sammy!”

“ _No problem._ ” Sam replied as he closed the door quietly.

Dean twisted slightly already in a panic and shook Castiel with a hand on his shoulder. “Cas. Hey!”

Castiel began to stir and peaked open one eye, “What?” he asked, voice rough with sleep and confusion.

“We gotta get up and get dressed man. Dad’s up.”

Those words sent Castiel in motion as well. They both got dressed in a flurry of limbs and clothes trailed by hushed, “ _Shit, shit, shit._ ”

Dean kept expecting John to open the door at any moment but it never happened. After pulling his shirt on, he looked at Castiel who was still wide-eyed and now disheveled. With danger being adverted, Dean began to laugh at the picture Castiel made.

“What’s so funny?” Castiel asked, looking sixteen shades of agitated.

Dean simply winked at him and when Castiel rolled his eyes, Dean laughed harder.

“You exasperate me.” Castiel said as he walked past him to open the door.

“Aww, come on Cas. Don’t be like that!” Dean chuckled as he followed his retreating form.

 

~*~

Breakfast was a hurried affair and the ride to the mall was mostly a quiet one except for when Gabriel and Sam broke out in song. Their bad vocals, air guitars and drumming along to Cinderella’s _Somebody Save Me_ proved entertaining enough, especially to John who laughed harder than he had in a long time. He didn’t know what it was about this set of Novaks' but they brought joy to his boys and they brought joy to him as a result. It made him wish Mary was here to see her boys finally starting to find some resemblance of normalcy. John’s thoughts started taking a dark turn but he refused them, pushing the thoughts back to the far recesses. This was Christmas Eve and he wasn’t going to ruin it for himself and effectively ruin it for everyone else.

It was only a fifteen minute drive and they were piling out of the car when John informed, “All right, listen, boys. I’m buying a few gifts and I want you boys to be scarce. No playing scout and tracking me. I’ll find you when I’m done. No leaving the building either and stick together. Two-by-two if you want but no one off by themselves.” John gave Dean a pointed look, “You know the drill.”

“Yes sir.” Dean replied and John nodded.

All four of them followed behind John until Gabriel swung his arm back as far as he could and swooped it forward, slapping Sam solidly on the ass before he took off running for the doors in a fit of chuckles.

“Ouch! You jerk!” Sam yelled out and took off after him, laughing the whole way.

“Slow down!” John called out but it was too late since they were already through the glass doors. “Do they act like that all the time?” John asked. The look on his face, puzzled.

“Yeah, for the most part.” Dean replied.

“To be honest, I’ve never seen Gabe act quite like that around anyone.” Castiel added.

“Interesting.” was John’s only response. His tone clearly showing how perplexed he was, but in a good way.

Once inside, John gave the last of his instructions; if he hadn’t found them in two hours, they were to convene in the food court. With that he was off in one direction, Dean and Castiel headed in another. It didn’t take too long before they found Gabriel and Sam at one of the bakery shops that had cookies and all sorts of pastry confections behind a glass case.

“Figures.” Castiel said as he walked up behind his brother. “You’re going to end up with diabetes like cousin Zachariah.” He warned.

Gabriel continued to look at the sweets through the glass as he answered. “Na, Zachariah got diabetes because he eats nothing _but_ crap, drinks too much and is a sour patch all the time.”

“I think you’re in denial.” Castiel replied with a near roll of his eyes and glanced around him. A sigh, barely audibly huffed through his nose.

Gabriel half turned to him then, “Who crawled up your ass this morning and died?” His tone more amused than angry.

Castiel opened his mouth as if he was about to come back with a retort when his head tilted as his eyes caught a hold of something on the second story of the building. Dean followed his gaze, as did Sam and Gabriel.

“Excuse me.” Castiel said as he started making his way to the escalator. That’s when all three of them finally saw what Castiel had made a b-line for; Crowley, with a couple of adults and a young woman talking together on the second floor.

“Aw shit.” Gabriel said as he began after his brother. Unfortunately, Castiel was much faster than the rest of them and reached Crowley first.

“I’m going to make this quick and absolute. You are to stay away from Dean and your threats against his family will desist.”

Crowley turned to him fully looking him up and down as if he was observing someone he was either about to have sex with or chew and spit out.

“Or what?” Crowley finally asked, an amused grin spreading across his lips.

“Or I will fucking break you.” Castiel said, his eyes sizing the older boy up. Surging anger was making his breaths come quicker and his chest pulled tighter.

“Oi! You lick your mother’s dirty bits with that tongue?” Crowley laughed out.

Castiel lunged but was grabbed by the shoulders by Gabriel. “Cas, man. No.”

Dean stepped in between them, his breaths quick from the running he just had to do. That’s when he noticed one of the adults, a very tall man, clean shaven with a slight under bite accentuated by a leer that turned Dean cold. The way his eyes dragged over Dean made him feel exposed and filthy somehow.

“I’ll tell you what. Hmm? You drag your girlfriend here back down the escalators and we’ll forget this ever happened.” Crowley offered, the smile fading to a tighter and more threatening glare as he said it. “Besides, I’m revoking the offer.”

Dean made a face then, part concern and part disbelief. “What did you just say?”

Crowley’s glare turned to mock confusion. His eyes flicked to the tall man with the predatory glare. The nod the man gave Crowley, eyes never leaving Dean, made him feel sick. When Crowley’s eyes were on Dean again he replied, “I didn’t speak in Japanese. I said I’m cutting you loose. I won’t be requiring your services anymore.”

Panic began to rise in Dean. Maybe he had taken too long to answer. Maybe Crowley had already decided to take his dad out. That thought began to make Dean physically shake.

Crowley’s smile returned, “Calm down, love.”

“Y-you’re not going to hurt my dad- are you?” Dean managed as he tried to hold it together.

Crowley’s smile faded a little and his face took on one of sincerity. He used his index finger to make a sign of an X over his heart and answered, “I swear, I won’t harm a hair on your precious daddy’s head.” Crowley actually reached out and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Capisce?”

Dean nodded rapidly, feeling both relieved and emotional.

“God, don’t fuckin’ cry, Winchester. Consider it my Merry _fuck you_ Christmas gift.” His hand dropped from Dean’s shoulder. “Now, get bent.” Crowley added as he and his entourage turned and began walking away. The leering man half turned back to Dean, rubbing his chin as his eyes swept down Dean from head to toe before winking and turning back around.

No one moved until they were out of sight.

“Well that was fucking unpleasant.” Gabriel remarked, letting go of his brother’s slumped shoulders.

Dean turned to Castiel who was expecting Dean to lay into him again like the last time he had confronted Crowley. Instead, he just walked past him and grabbed ahold of Sam who had kept himself at a distance. He put his arm around his shoulders and hugged him to his side.

“Dean? What was that all about?” Sam asked, looking up to his brother in concern as they began walking together.

“Nothing we have to worry about now.” Dean replied.

 

~*~

An hour and several chocolate chip cookie sandwiches later, the tension of earlier had all but completely faded. There was still a little bit of awkwardness between Dean and Castiel but Castiel did his best to focus on the happy chatter between his brother and Sam. The sugar was obviously affecting Sam since he was talking a mile a minute.

“You know what I would love to do one day? Stay in this mall overnight. Except they usually gate all the shops and that’s no fun. I think it would just be awesome to do it one day anyway.” Sam said glancing around the food court.

“You know, that’s one thing I’ve never done. I think you’re on to something there Sambo!” Gabriel responded.

“Dude, you know they have security in these places overnight just for those reasons, right?” Dean informed.

Gabriel brought his attention around to Dean, “You don’t think I could pull it off?” While the tone was challenging, the smirk he was carrying was amused. “Go on. Dare me.”

“Let’s not and say we did.” Castiel remarked making eye contact with his brother as he shook his head back and forth in a ‘ _no_ ’.

“Could you do it?!” Sam was nearly hopping in his seat.

“Sam-” Dean began in an attempt to shoot down his hopes before they rose too high but was interrupted.

“Kiddo, not only could I do it but I could get the shops of your choice open and have the security taken care of.”

“Bullshit. Don’t go getting his hopes all up Gabe.” Dean’s disbelief and irritation not held back even an ounce.

Sam’s brightness fell just enough that Gabriel could feel it. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but he wanted that light back A.S.A.P and he wanted to kick Dean in the balls for taking it away.

“That’s a dare?” Gabriel asked pointedly.

Dean leaned in towards Gabriel. “I triple-dog dare ya.” his eyes all narrowed and the smart ass grin was spreading.

“Accepted!” Gabriel said, making a slap on the table with the palm of his hand. “Start making that list of shops you want open, kid.”

“Dear God.” Castiel uttered.

“Fuckin- A, YES!” Sam shouted.

And just like that, everything was right in Gabriel’s world as the warmth of Sam’s happiness lit the space he was occupying once again.

Not too long after challenges were made and accepted, John found them. “You boys ready for lunch?” Despite the fact they had eaten a shit-ton of sweets, they answered the affirmative.

“Good. Roadhouse sound good?” John asked.

Who was going to say ‘ _no_ ’ to the Roadhouse?

 

~*~

Several minutes later they were all crowded around two tables that had been shoved together and orders were made.

“Well, hello there, stranger.” Ellen called out as she came from the back and around the bar.

John instantly straightened and started adjusting his leather jacket, smoothing his hand down it. Dean noticed and snorted, shaking his head. John stood when Ellen got to the table and hugged her. They held each other for a moment then pulled apart, hands still lingering on each other, fondness clearly showing in both of their faces. “Yeah, finally have some time off and decided to get the boys out of the house.”

“Good. Good, John. You deserve it.” Ellen replied.

John reluctantly broke the eye and physical contact. “Uh, sit with us?” John asked and pulled out the chair that was beside his own.

“No, that’s okay, John. I don’t want to interrupt...” Ellen said, shaking her head.

“You’re not interrupting, Ellen. Come on.”

“All right, but under one stipulation.” Ellen said, her tone serious.

“What’s that?”

“You take me out to dinner the next night you’re off.” a smile spread across her lips as she watched John’s face flush.

“All right, Ellen.” He laughed then, “You’ve got it.”

Dean snorted again and John turned to him, “You hush.”

Dean threw up his hands in surrender as Ellen took a seat.

“Is Jo here?” Sam asked, passing a wink to Gabriel who suddenly lifted his eyes from the soda he was nursing.

“Yeah, she’ll be out here in a minute after she freshens up. She saw you guys come through the door and ran back to the back like she saw guys from REO Speedwagon come waltzing in. I take it it’s one of you two she’s crushing on?” Ellen remarked bluntly looking in the direction of Gabriel and Castiel. Gabriel choked on his soda.

“Hmmm.” Ellen smiled knowingly and John chuckled.

“God, Mom. Really?” Jo said taking the seat between Gabriel and Castiel. Gabriel stiffened as Jo’s eyes lingered on him and a smile slipped over her lips.

“Hey.” She said.

Gabriel turned to her then, “Hey, Jo.”

He caught sight of the astonished look that was spread over his brother’s face from over Jo’s shoulder. Castiel’s mouth parted and his eyes narrowed. Gabriel flipped him off from behind her back before clearing his throat. “Ummm, how’s it hanging?”

Castiel completely and utterly lost his shit.

Laughter rolled out of him and it proved infectious when Dean and Sam did the same. John and Ellen simply shook their head and Jo just continued to smile at him. There was affection there rather than humor at his expense which kept him from running from the restaurant altogether.

Instead of making fun of him as Gabriel expected, she replied, “A little to the left cowboy.” and winked. For the second time that day, everything was right with the world.

 

~*~

Lunch passed too quickly and they were back in the Impala heading home. Snow flurries had begun to fall which had everyone hopeful for a white Christmas. The silence in the cabin was a mix of contentment from John, Sam and Gabriel and residual tension that had yet to be resolved between Dean and Castiel.

Once at the house, John instructed them to stay in the car while he got the bags carrying the gifts he had stored away in the trunk before finding the boys at the food court. A few quick trips and he was done. “All right, boys. You’re on your own for a few hours. I should be back before Anna gets here and supper time. Lock up and don’t let anyone in you don’t know. You know the drill.”

“Yes sir.” Dean and Sam replied at the same time.

With that, John hopped back into the Impala, pulling out and down the drive. The four of them rushed into the warmth of the house after his tail lights disappeared. The flurries had begun to grow into full flakes and a bitter wind whistled against the window panes of the house as they shook the snow from their hair.

“I’m going to get a fire started in the fireplace.” Dean announced and headed back outside to get some wood off the wood pile on the porch. The look he gave Castiel was an invitation to follow so he took it.

Once outside, Dean pushed Castiel against the wall with the weight of his body. At any other time, Castiel would have taken this as an invitation to make out. That wasn’t what this was about because Dean was clearly angry.

“Dean-” Castiel started to say but Dean interrupted him.

“What were you trying to accomplish back there? Huh?”

Instantly, Castiel was angry too. “Dean, back off.”

Dean didn’t move so Castiel pressed his own weight forward, “Back. Off.” The warning tone in his voice obviously worked since Dean finally backed away and sat down on one of the porch chairs. Dean stared at the ground and ran his fingers through his hair before looking back up at Castiel.

Castiel kept his back against the wall and stared back at Dean for a few moments before finally answering Dean’s question.

“The thought of the fucker ever hurting you... it- it makes me furious, Dean. I’ve never felt so angry.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed, “You think the idea of him hurting _you_ doesn’t do the same to me?” Dean’s voice is raw and his tone an emotion Castiel couldn’t quite place.

“I didn’t think-” Castiel started.

“That’s right! You _don’t_ think.” Dean interrupted. “And Sammy? I was trying to save him from hearing any of that shit. I was trying to protect him. He doesn’t need to be worrying about bullshit like that.”

At the last revelation, it suddenly hit Castiel how badly he had fucked up. “Dean, I’m sorry.”

Dean nodded, rubbing the palm of his hand down the length of his face. “I know- just, no more heroics on my behalf, okay?” He said and stood walking towards Castiel again. This time, when he pressed his body against his, it wasn’t threatening. Instead, it was comforting. Castiel nodded in answer to his request. Dean ran his hands down Castiel’s arms before leaning in and taking Castiel’s mouth with his own. It was a soft press, tender and affectionate.

When Dean pulled his face away he added, “Besides, we know who is wearing the panties in this relationship.”

“You wish.” Castiel said as he pushed the other boy off of him. Dean chuckled as he stumbled backwards.

Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle too and just like that, the last tethers of tension between them disappeared altogether.

“Come on, help me get some wood.” Dean said as he turned around to pick up a couple of logs.

“Later.” Castiel shot back with a wicked grin, to which Dean chuckled, shaking his head.

“Shut up. Here.” He said as he put a particularly large one in Castiel’s arms.

Castiel’s grin turned into all teeth, eyes all scrunched up and nose crinkles.

It was the most amazing thing Dean had ever seen.

 

~*~

John arrived back a little before 5:00 and Anna arrived a little after that. John instantly loved the young woman. Something about her blatant feistiness coupled with a genuinely gentle nature was endearing. He couldn’t help but grin like a fool as he watch the Novak trio and his sons interact. It had been a very long time since he could feel okay with his sons hanging around anyone. He knew Dean was friends with Ash and Garth, who were not bad kids but he knew about Ash’s dope selling. If it wasn’t for the fact he knew Ash used the money to keep his family fed, he would have busted the kid a long time ago. While John had much to worry about when it came to the Novak family, these kids were excluded somehow. He figured it was because he knew, without having to make a formal announcement to himself, that he had taken these three under his wing. He was determined to protect them, to make sure they were going to be okay. The gesture still perplexed him, no matter how assured he was in his intentions. “ _What was it about these children?_ ” was a constant string of thought.

He let the thoughts drop as he made his way into the kitchen to put some hotdogs in the oven and then headed to his room to retrieve the stockings he had hurriedly put together when he first got back home. When he exited his room again, arms full, he announced, “In our home, it is tradition to open our stockings on Christmas Eve.” He started handing them out and the looks on the Novaks’ faces showed shock that there were stockings for them too.

“You didn’t have to do this, Mr. J!” Gabriel said as he took his, peeking into the top of it.

“Of course I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” John replied as he handed one to Anna who was smiling affectionately at the forest green one he placed into her hands.

“But-” Gabriel went to argue.

“But nothing. Just say thanks and get to digging through them.” John said with a chuckle as he handed one to Castiel and then Dean and Sam.

“Thank you.” All three Novaks' said at the same time, timidly.

In quiet, everyone began to dig through their stockings. The quiet quickly grew into more thank you’s as practical gifts like hair barrettes, socks and lotions were removed and then turned into laughter as gag gifts like fruit, fake dog poop, silly putty, rubic cubes, whoopee cushions and silly string followed.

John had returned to the kitchen to get the hotdogs out of the oven, happy with himself as they were finishing up.

“Dudes! Your dad is the best!” Gabriel said as he began putting his gifts back into his stocking.

Sam beamed at that, “Thanks!”

“No, seriously.” Gabriel continued, his smile falling just slightly. “This is like the nicest thing someone has done for us in a very long time. It means a lot.”

Both Anna and Castiel nodded in confirmation as they packed stuff back in their stockings.

“Why?” Sam asked and Gabriel glanced at his brother and sister who were both looking at him now.

“Don’t know. Just is.” He shrugged.

“Food’s up!” John called from the kitchen. “Come get it!”

 

~*~

After consuming way too much food and watching _Ice Pirates (perhaps the funniest movie Castiel had ever seen especially when the 'space herpe’ was on the loose)_ they turned in for the night. Anna was given Sam’s bed and Sam and Gabriel took the pull out bed from the upstairs couch.

Dean and Castiel were tangled in each other’s arms lazily making out in Dean’s bed but they had made an agreement that would be as far as it would go. After the scare of possibly getting caught that morning, both were reluctant to let it go further than that, much to both of their frustrations.

They finally pulled apart to catch their breaths and to snuggle in closer together. Castiel’s head rested in the crook of Dean’s shoulder, arm wrapped around his middle and Dean’s face was in Castiel’s hair, both arms wrapped around him.

There were words on the tip of Dean’s tongue and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing.

“What is it?” Castiel asked as his thumb moved back and forth over Dean’s skin. Dean closed his eyes and swallowed, wondering why it was so hard to get them out.

Castiel lifted his head then, resting himself on an elbow as he stared down at Dean. His brow furrowing in concern. “Dean?”

“I love you.” Dean spoke the words so low, they were barely audible. His eyes were still closed tightly and his jaw clenched.

Castiel’s heart did some kind of strange beat and a pleasant sensation fluttered in is stomach.

“ _What?_ ”

Dean opened his eyes then and they bore into Castiel’s, both assertive and unsure at the same time. “I said, I love you. I know it’s girly as fuck to say it, but I do.”

Castiel’s smile went wide and Dean groaned. “Okay, shut up.” He closed his eyes again.

Castiel chuckled and then grabbed Dean’s jaw, turning his face to his. “Dean, open your eyes.”

“No.” He replied and stuck his lower lip out in an exaggerate pout.

“Open them.”

Dean did as instructed and while Castiel could tell the other boy was trying to use playfulness to push away his feeling exposed, he could see clearly how important saying those words had been to him.

“I love you too.” Castiel returned, his smile going to that place of perfection that Dean found incredible.

Dean lifted his head, inclining it to slate his lips into Castiel’s. The kiss was intimate but brief and they both returned to the positions they were in once before. A contentment laden sleep followed soon after.

 

 


	8. December 25, 1988 (Sunday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A giddy Anna was pain in the ass Anna.
> 
> Gabriel pointed at her. “You’re obnoxious.”
> 
> Anna nodded and sighed, “True.” She flicked her cigarette into the snow and glanced at him again, “But you’re happy and possibly in love which makes you all manners of adorable.”
> 
> Gabriel huffed and a grin of disbelief crossed his mouth. “In love? With who?
> 
> “Jo and possibly even Sam. I frankly can’t tell. All I know is this is the first time since mom left, I’ve seen you this happy. It looks good on you Gabe.”
> 
> Gabriel’s brow tightened in a ridiculously impossible way, “I’m not in love with Sam! What the fuck?”
> 
> “Hmmm.” Anna smirked and nodded, clearly unconvinced.
> 
> Gabriel just waved her off and shoved his hands in the pockets of jacket as deep as he could. “And I’m not in love with Jo. I don’t even know her.”
> 
> Anna lit another Camel Light and nodding as she re-crossed her arms. “Chemistry doesn’t need any introductions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely [vitamindesi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/vitamindesi/pseuds/vitamindesi) finished up the beta work for me and I frankly don't know what I would do without her.
> 
> I'm putting a **WARNING** here for incest. It is not horribly graphic but it is there nonetheless. 
> 
> Links to an image of the jacket similar to the one in this fic [[X](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r65/arasiriel/_57_zps83d805a6.jpg)] [[X](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r65/arasiriel/_571_zpsf2cc646e.jpg)] and how the jackets would often look with the patches that are mentioned, applied [[X](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r65/arasiriel/DSCF1606_zps21fd90be.jpg)].

## December 25, 1988 ( _Sunday_ )

 

Dean felt a soft press of lips to the back of his neck as hot breath ebbed out, washing over his chilled skin. A warm body pressed against his back and the backside of a hand ran down the length of his ribs, knuckles thumping along as they fell off each one which caused Dean to smile into his pillow.

“Tickles” he said with a sleep-rough voice as he squirmed away from and then back into Castiel’s warmth.

Castiel smiled wider as he brought his hand up and out from under the blankets to cup Dean’s face. Dean allowed his head to be turned, adjusting only his shoulders so that his ass could remain up against Castiel’s already growin erection. He knew he shouldn’t, but he loved the feel of it there, almost teasing of what possibilities existed if the two thin pieces of cotton didn’t block their skin from making contact. Something about the tease of having, yet _not_ having was all the more arousing. Memories of just how fucking amazing it had felt being filled up by Cas hadn’t faded at all. His mind was literally pining for a repeat and if it wasn’t for the fact Sam would be busting into the room any minute, he would be going for it.

Castiel leaned over him the rest of the way and captured Dean’s mouth with his. Almost as if on instinct, Dean pressed his ass against Castiel's cock which was really hard now. Dean shifted his hips so the length of it slotted between his ass cheeks and then he pivoted his hips in a slow grind along the shaft.

Castiel groaned into Dean’s mouth as his tongue licked over his top lip. Dean repeated the motion and Castiel’s face fell into the crook between Dean’s neck and shoulder. Castiel closed his eyes tight against the pleasure building within him before he bit down firmly on the shoulder his mouth was pressed against. The action caused Dean to groan out loud, laying his head back against Castiel. His movements only becoming more earnest rather than slowing down, and Castiel responded by moving with him.

“W-we need to stop.” Castiel managed after a swipe of his tongue over the bite mark.

Dean’s only reply was a small back and forth shake of his head.

Castiel didn’t have to be told twice as he sunk his hand back under the blankets again to grip Dean’s ass for a moment before reaching around, sliding his hand into Dean’s boxers from the leg opening. His palm slid over Dean’s balls and he cupped them, massaging gently.

A breathy, “ _Shit._ ” escaped Dean’s lips as his hand reached back and around to hold onto Castiel’s thigh to ground himself internally as much as externally.

Castiel moved his hand again to wrap around Dean swollen length where he began pumping him with smooth strokes and small twists in time to their grinding against each other.

Castiel peppered small kisses up the length of Dean’s neck and when he reached his ear, Dean turned to capture his mouth again which he offered readily. They continued like that for a few minutes more before both their movements stuttered and they came together, mouths parted, breaths hitching as they worked each other through their orgasm.

When their movements finally stilled, Castiel released Dean’s cock and said lowly in Dean’s ear, “So much for restraint.”

“Yeah well, Dad is usually up half the night. He hides our stash at Missouri’s and she drives over here with them after we go to bed. Then they are putting gifts together and getting them under the tree till like three in the morning. Chances of him being the first up is somewhere between ‘ _no’_ and ‘ _not going to fuckin’ happen.’_ Why? Are you complaining?”

Castiel laughed and shook his head. “God, no.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Dean said, shooting him a smug sideways glance before unwinding himself from Castiel’s arms and climbing out of the bed. Dean grimaced at the sticky mess that was his boxers as he pulled them down and stepped out of them. “We need to get cleaned up though. Dad might not be up but Sam will be barreling in here any minute.” He opened his bottom drawer, pulled out a towel and wiped himself off. Afterwards he threw it to Castiel, who caught it.

Castiel eyed his wrist watch. “At six in the morning?”

“It’s Christmas morning, dude, and he's like the perpetual five year old. If he still believed in Santa, he would have been up all night sitting on the stairs trying to get a peek.”

Castiel made his way out of the bed and removed his ruined boxers as well. He began cleaning himself off but turned toward the window where the first light of dusk was filtering in. “Wow. Looks like we’re snowed in.”

Dean had just pulled on a pair of stone washed jeans with torn knees. “What? No way!” He walked quickly to the window to take in the view of several inches of snow and more falling. A wide smile took over his lips. “Fuckin-A. A white Christmas. Sammy’s going to really flip out now.”

Dean turned to look at Castiel before giving him a quick peck on the lips which made Castiel smile shyly.

No sooner had Castiel gotten his pants on than Sam indeed came barreling into the room with Gabriel following sleepily behind him. Sam stepped up on Dean's bed and began jumping up and down on it with squeaks of the overburdened springs accenting each of his descents. His shaggy hair flared out to the sides which made the whole action even more exaggerate and comical.

“Come on, bitches! Time to open the pressies!” Sam said in huffs.

“Get off my bed, dork.” Dean replied and Sam jumped down off of it, planting a solid thump to the floor.

“Well if Dad was asleep, he isn’t now.” Dean said rolling his eyes and turning to head downstairs. Sam ran after him and they pushed and shoved at each other trying to see who could get to the living room first, which Sam won of course but stopped dead in his tracks once he reached the threshold. It wasn’t that Anna was sitting in the recliner, or their dad and Missouri were sitting on the couch, the three of them sipping on coffee. It also wasn’t the fact that the tree was lit and Christmas music was lightly filling the air, punctuated by the snow falling outside the window. No, it was the massive amounts of gifts under the tree, the likes of which neither of them had seen. While Dean was sure that most people had this much if not double the amount any given Christmas, they were lucky to get one or two gifts each. Being a single parent with a detective’s salary didn’t give much room for a large haul of gifts which was totally fine with Sam and Dean. It was never about the amount but the thought put behind them that counted.

“Whoa!” Sam said as he started making his way into the living room.

Dean followed behind his brother trying to take it all in. “What the...”

John laughed. “They’re not all yours but most of them are.”

“But-” Dean started when Gabriel walked in and stood by his sister looking impressed with himself. Castiel came to stand beside Dean and when Dean turned to him, Castiel was wearing a very smug grin.

“You did this?” Dean asked him wide-eyed.

Castiel was still looking at him, eyes twinkling in the flashing Christmas tree lights. "Well, some. It was Gabriel’s idea and Anna helped me with the wrapping.”

“But when?” Dean asked and Gabriel answered this time, “I dipped out of here with Mr. J last night and we swung by our house to pick up what we bought you guys last week. Now, stop asking questions and get over here. Let’s get these suckers unwrapped.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Sam said and rushed forward. The whole time John was chuckling and Missouri smiling, her eyes passing fondly between sons and father.

Gifts were distributed between everyone quickly and John insisted that the youngest went first since that was the 'Winchester Way'.

Sam went for his dad’s gifts to him first which included a Pogo, a Super Soaker, and a mountain bike he had been begging for. Next was Missouri’s which ended up being a set of Mark Twain’s works and a container of 1,000 Lego pieces. Then he opened his gift from Dean which was a Ghostbusters table top pinball machine that he almost drooled over and a couple NDS games he had been wanting.

Then he got to the Novaks’ gifts. There was one from all three of them and then one from just Gabriel. The one from all three was cassettes of Journey and Foreigner as well as _Trivial Pursuit_. Finally, opening his gift from Gabriel revealed a three foot tall Optimus Prime made of metal instead of plastic and could fully transform into a semi. Sam jumped up after that and hugged everyone thanking them excitedly. The smile on Gabriel’s face after a particularly lingering hug from Sam had Dean wondering, yet again, what he was seeing between the two of them.

Next was Dean’s turn. Since he was over the age of thirteen, it was Winchester tradition to get money from the adults. Dean opened two cards, one from his dad and another from Missouri, each of which had a hundred dollars. His gifts from the Novaks' included the whole 33 volume set of _Time Life Books: Mysteries of the Unknown_ and Metallica’s _Cliff ‘Em All_ on VHS. Both gifts made Dean feel strange with a sense of not being worthy of such awesome gifts from people he had known for just a few weeks.

“Man, I don’t even know what to say.” He said while thumbing through one of the books.

“No need to say anything.” Anna said, laying a hand on his wrist and winking at him when he glanced up. “Just enjoy them.” She removed her hand and he let his eyes fall back to the book in his lap.

Castiel cleared his throat and when Dean turned to him, he handed Dean a large box that was decorated in wrapping paper with electric guitars all over it and an elaborate black bow on top.

Dean suddenly felt nervous and his hands shook as he began unwrapping the gift gently trying not to tear the paper too much. He tried to tell himself it was because he liked the design but he knew deep down it had to do with the fact Castiel had picked it and had wrapped it for him. Once the paper was removed, he broke the bits of tape from around the lid of the box and lifted it. Pushing the tissue paper away, Dean gasped.

“Dude!” He shot wide eyes to Castiel who was smiling that fucking smile that did things to Dean’s heart and then turned them back to the box. He lifted the black military mountain jacket out and eyed it, mouth opened in awe.

“Dude.” Dean said again lower before snapping his eyes back to Castiel again. The urge to reach out and kiss the smiling boy was almost acted upon but instead he hugged him which Castiel returned with a chuckle. Separating, Dean started looking the jacket over again, digging into pockets and trying out the zippers.

“Try it on.” Castiel said.

Dean stood up and began sliding his arms in.

“I made sure to get it a little larger so you can wear it for a long time.” Castiel informed and he choked back on anything else that he was about to say because Dean looked too good in it.

“It’s perfect.” Dean said. “Thank you, Cas.”

“You’re welcome, Dean.” He replied. “But there’s more in the box.

Dean gave him a look of disbelief and sat down, taking the box into his lap again. He reached in and pulled out two cassette tapes. One was a mix tape that Castiel had obviously made him and the other was U2‘s _Joshua Tree_. After a moment, realization hit him over the significance of the U2 tape and he blushed. He brought his eyes to Castiel’s and he could see he was just as red. Castiel smiled shyly again and glanced down, shifting in his place on the floor before looking back up.

“One more thing.” Castiel informed and Dean reached in and pulled out a small pile of band patches. Looking through them, he saw one for Led Zeppelin, Metallica, TesTamenT, and a Deadhead one like the one on the t-shirt Castiel owned. Something about that made his heart feel five times too large for his chest.

“They are for your jacket.” Castiel informed.

“They’re really great, Cas. Thanks.” Dean replied and clamped down on the urge to reach out and pull him into his arms.

Castiel blushed harder and when he noticed how quiet the room was, he looked at everyone.

His siblings and Sam were smiling widely, Missouri was staring fondly, and John’s mouth carried the small curl of a smile.

“No need to thank me.” Castiel said, turning his attention back to Dean who was looking at the song list on the mix tape he had made.

That feeling only compounded when Dean handed him the gift he got him. “It doesn’t compare the all the awesome you just gave me, but...”

Castiel was looking at the flat box as if he was unsure what to do with it. When he began to open it, he did so in a similar way as Dean had done his with his own, a crooked grin gracing his mouth as he pulled the lid off. He almost chuckled when he realized Dean had gone with a similar idea as his own. He pulled out the black t-shirt with a winged man on the front, leaning back into a halo of the sun- Led Zeppelin's Swan Song Records logo. The letters spelling out Led Zeppelin curved above the figure and Castiel ran his fingers over the figure’s wings.

Dean swallowed and shifted before finally meeting Castiel’s eyes. “It reminded me of you- of what you said about your mom’s favorite song.” Dean left off the part about the figure, who was the winged Icarus, reminding him of the angel in his dreams that he was pretty sure had taking the form of Castiel.

“It’s perfect, Dean.” Castiel said, his grin turning wider.

The exchange of gifts continued with Anna receiving a first edition copy of Erich Fromm’s _The Art of Loving_ and Carl Jung’s _Psychology and Alchemy_ from her brothers and Gabriel was given a set of mats for the floorboard of his car as well as a car cleaning kit.

Sam handed Gabriel the gift from him and Gabriel frowned, “You seriously didn’t have to get me anything, Sambo.”

“Sure I did. I mean, it’s nothing as cool as Optimus but I noticed you don’t have it and you should.” Sam shrugged.

Gabriel tore the wrapping paper to reveal a leather bound portfolio. “Wow.”

“It’s for your photography.” Sam informed.

“But, I don’t do it seriously.” Gabriel said, still rather speechless. “Not enough to warrant this.”

“Well, I disagree. I saw your photos, Gabe. They're really great and need to be in that instead of some photo album.”

 “Wow.” Gabriel said as he ran his fingers down the spin of the portfolio.

“Just promise me you will fill it with more than unsuspecting sleeping people holding hotdogs.” Sam said punching Gabriel in the arm and laughing.

“Ow.” Gabriel laughed as well and rubbed his offended arm. “Yeah, okay kiddo. Deal.”

After gifts were exchanged, John and Missouri set to task of getting what would be Christmas dinner prepared while the others headed upstairs to hang out in Dean’s room. How his room had become the epicenter was a mystery to Dean but he was okay with it.

“So, we have one more gift for the both of you.” Castiel said once everyone was piled up in Dean’s bed.

“Dude, you guys have already given us too much.” Dean said as he scooted his back against the headboard.

“I doubt that’s possible.” Castiel replied as he reached down and picked up his jean jacket. Reaching into an inside pocket, he pulled out two elongated cards and handed them to Dean. He took them and after stealing another glance at the Novak siblings, he looked at the cards and began reading the text.

“No. Fucking. Way.” Dean said with eyes blown wide.

“What is it?!” Sam said scooting up closer to his brother and taking one of the cards.

“Holy shit! Metallica?!” Sam exclaimed. “We’re going to a Metallica concert?! We have never been to a concert before!” Sam was saying rapidly.

“Breathe, Sam.” Dean said, chuckling. Dean looked at the ticket again. “The fucking Damaged Justice tour! Wait. This is in Ohio? I don’t think Dad is going to go for that.’ Dean frowned.

“You let us take care of that minor detail, will ya?” Gabriel answered with the dismissive flip of his hand and a screwed up facial expression that related he was completely unconcerned. “It’s not until April anyway.”

“Wait! These are front row?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, we got enough for everyone.” Castiel said.

“By everyone you mean…?” Dean asked incredulously.

“All of us, Garth, Ash, Becky...” Castiel was naming off.

“And Jo.” Anna added with a smile at Gabriel who shifted and looked at her before flipping her off.

Anna just stuck her tongue out at him and laughed.

“Dude. How much did all that cost you guys?” Dean asked. He didn’t mean to sound annoyed but to be honest, he was feeling a little like that.

“Uhhh, billionaires?’ Gabriel chuckled.

“Yeah, but...” Dean wanted to argue.

“Dean.” Castiel said, grabbing the hand that was holding a ticket. When Dean’s eyes were on him he added, “Just enjoy. Merry Christmas.”

And fuck it, the smile Castiel was giving him melted all the annoyance away only to be replaced by excitement.

 

 ~*~

Crowley was on his stomach, head turned to the side as he stared vacantly at the wall. His mind in the throes of distraction going over amounts and figures and thinking about the meeting he was expecting to attend side-by-side with Draco the following week. Draco wanted Crowley to see the operation in action.

This particular meeting was with a client to haggle over price as Draco sold his new stock of flesh, bone and soon to be soulless husks of humans. They would become much like himself he imagined, but with far less freedom or chances of ever escaping Hell. His brother, who was pressing down and into him relentlessly, gave a few more thrusts before grunting sickeningly into Crowley’s exposed ear, his release spilling inside him. It was all Crowley could do to hold down his lunch as he closed his eyes and thanked a God that did not exist that it was over- at least for now.

He didn’t open his eyes again until Alastair pulled out and rolled off him and onto his back. Crowley lifted himself up, his muscles aching. He started to climb from the bed when his brother reached out and grabbed his wrist. “And where are you going?”

“To shower.” he replied trying to pull from Alastair’s grip.

“That quick of a need to be washed clean of me?” Alastair asked and if Crowley hadn’t known better he would think he heard a hint of sadness in his brother’s tone. Crowley didn’t respond, but instead continued to try and pull away. It was of no use he knew and was proven correct when his brother pulled him down and into him. “I will have you lie with me a bit longer.”

Crowley nodded slightly and Alastair let him go, assured his brother wouldn’t try and bolt from the room. Not that Crowley would have gotten far and he didn’t want to think of what his brother would do as punishment for being insubordinate. He maneuvered onto his back pulling the sheets up around his naked body. Alastair watched his movements and for a brief anxious moment Crowley thought Alastair would tell him to remove them, but he didn’t and instead Alastair sighed, training his eyes to the ceiling.

After some moments of silence, Crowley chanced to speak. “I saw the way you were looking at the Winchester prat- back at the mall.” He could see his brother’s reaction from his peripheral vision. A small, cruel smile creeping across Alastair’s mouth, “Hmmm” he hummed and then added, “Is that jealousy I hear, dear brother?”

Crowley turned his head to his brother then, his brow furrowed in disbelief, “Hardly. I’m willing to wager that look was more than just lust.” Crowley was digging, he knew that just like he also knew his brother was completely aware he was digging too.  He just wasn’t stupid enough to do more than make an idle observation.

Alastair turned fully to him, resting on his side. The sneer turned into a genuine smile with something resembling warmth, though fleeting a thing it was. “Would you now?”

Crowley stared at him not exactly knowing what else to say or if pressing further would be wise. With curiosity holding the better hand he nodded before asking, “I have been wondering why that would be the case?” A single eyebrow rose and he didn’t allow his sight to faultier from his brothers’ even though the look Alastair was giving him said clearly that he was walking a thin line.

Alastair reached out with his hand and moved a strand of Crowley’s hair gently off his forehead and tucked it behind his ear before answering in a quieted voice, “You know I can’t talk about that shit, brother. I will tell you though, that if his bitch of a mother hadn’t walked in on our father it would be likely him receiving my attentions rather than you. And his brother? He would be a bone for Draco at this very moment.”

The furrow of Crowley’s brow deepened and Alastair anticipated the questions that were but on the tip of his brother’s tongue. He removed his hand and laid back against the mattress to return his gaze to the ceiling again. “Go shower brother, and be rid of me.”

There was something in the way he said those last words that concerned Crowley in ways he was not willing to admit.

~*~

“So, when was the last time you’ve smoked?” Anna asked as she stood in the snow with her back against a tree trying to hide from the bitter wind and from any adult eyes that might see. She flicked the ashes from her cigarette before putting it up to her lips again.

Gabriel fidgeted, eyes cast down to the snow which he proceeded to dug at with the toe of his boots. “I don’t know. A week maybe?”

Anna raised an eyebrow as a small smile upturned a corner of her mouth. She blew out smoke and vapors as she folded her arms across her chest against the cold. “Mmm hmm.”

“What?” Gabriel asked with a frown.

Anna shook her head smiling and looking to the ground. “Nothing.” When she looked up again, the smirk had turned into a full smile and there was a fondness in her eyes that told him she was lying. She knew exactly what she was getting at and it was making her giddy. A giddy Anna was pain in the ass Anna.

Gabriel pointed at her. “You’re obnoxious.”

Anna nodded and sighed, “True.” She flicked her cigarette into the snow and glanced at him again, “But you’re happy and possibly in love which makes you all manners of adorable.”

Gabriel huffed and a grin of disbelief crossed his mouth. “In love? With who?

“Jo and possibly even Sam. I frankly can’t tell. All I know is this is the first time since mom left, I’ve seen you this happy. It looks good on you Gabe.”

Gabriel’s brow tightened in a ridiculously impossible way, “I’m not in love with Sam! What the fuck?”

“Hmmm.” Anna smirked and nodded, clearly unconvinced.

Gabriel just waved her off and shoved his hands in the pockets of jacket as deep as he could. “And I’m not in love with Jo. I don’t even know her.”

Anna lit another Camel Light and nodding as she re-crossed her arms. “Chemistry doesn’t need any introductions. You might be stunted emotionally, but even you remember what that was like... with Kali.” Anna felt it was necessary to go there but she still winced as she said the name.

Gabriel's glare a warning, “I don’t want to talk about her.”

Anna took a long drag, inhaling and letting it out, before pressing further. “But you remember what it felt like with her. If you have a second chance at having it again, go for it.”

All at once Gabriel’s memories were rolling and he didn’t like the feeling they were leaving in the pit of his stomach. He looked away to watch the snowfall, the peacefulness a stark contrast to how he was now feeling inside. “And let myself get broken again?” He turned to his sister again. “I don’t think I’d survive another round of that sis.”

“Are you not the one who is constantly touting that _life isn’t worth living unless you are risking something_?” Anna asked sympathetically.

“Yeah, but.” Gabriel started but Anna cut him off.

“Just think about it at least Gabe. Entertain the idea. I would hate to see you end up sad and lonely like our Father or Michael for that matter. It’s no way to live.”

Gabriel nodded, relenting. “Yeah okay. Listen, I’m heading back.”

Seeing that as Gabriel’s sign to end the topic at hand, Anna sighed and rolled her eyes as he walked past her. She couldn’t help but add, “And I still maintain you’ve got it bad for Sam.”

Gabriel glanced at her over his shoulder, eyes squinting at the absurdity of her words. “Shut up. Am not. Just cause you and Cassie are going cuckoo for coco puffs over the same sex, doesn’t mean I wil- am!” Gabriel hadn’t corrected himself fast enough and Anna was laughing behind him.

“Shut up.” Gabriel grumbled as he opened the door and was smacked in the face by the most amazing scents of Christmas dinner. All his frustration and confusion generated by his sister’s digging, quickly forgotten.

“Good! There you are. Was just about to send a search party for you two.” Missouri said to them as they kicked off their snow soaked shoes and removed their coats. As they walked past Missouri, Gabriel leaned in towards her, planting a kiss to her cheek. Instead of being shocked since she had known it was coming after all, she wagged a finger at him and tried to train her grin to stay down. “That is not going to land you early desserts.”

Gabriel put on a faux offense, “I would never!”

Missouri laughed then and shook her head as she headed to the oven to get out the turkey.

~*~

Dinner passed quickly where there was barely word spoken beyond, _'more potatoes please'_ and hums of pleasure as they ate. A little while later, everyone was stuffed to bursting. John had let everyone off the hook for cleaning up duty and Missouri had to shoo Anna away when she insisted on helping. It wasn’t quite eight o’clock but it was clear that all of them would be making their way to bed soon under the lull of the turkey.

Sam and Gabriel had already pulled out the bed and was laying across it on their stomachs playing some of the new games he had gotten. Anna was sitting on the edge of the bed next to her brother waiting for her turn when Gabriel's avatar died. She also watched her brother and Sam’s interactions which had her smiling more than she had in a very long time.

Dean and Castiel said their goodnights and retreated to Dean’s room. Dean was about to put the mix tape that Castiel had given him into the player when Castiel reached out and touched his hand. When Dean looked at him, Castiel simply shook his head and said, “That’s for when you are by yourself. There’s a note in there that tells you why I chose those songs also.”

Dean nodded and was more curious now than he had been before. He placed the mix tape in his cassette holder and instead popped in the U2 cassette. Dean turned the volume low enough that they could hear it but not so loud it could be heard past the door.

They both stripped to their boxers. Dean didn’t even bother to turn off the small lamp on his dresser and instead climbed into the bed with Castiel who immediately pulled Dean into his arms. Dean thought he should be feeling weird to be the one laying his head on Cas’ chest and wrapping his arm around his waist, but he didn’t. If anything he felt safe and that was something he didn’t know he needed to feel until that moment. Dean nuzzled in closer and hummed as Castiel placed a lingering kiss on the top of Dean’s head.

Castiel yawned before saying, “I want to thank you.”

Dean chuckled but then yawned too. “For what exactly?”

“For making this the best Christmas we have had since our mom left.” Castiel replied sleepily.

“Dude, it was you guys who made it great. You really didn’t have to get us anything you know? Dean said as he ran his thumb in gentle strokes on Castiel’s skin.

“I beg to differ. Your family has been gracious to us when no one has been in quite some time.” Castiel protested.

"Well, looks like we are even. Just- just don’t feel like you have to give us nice stuff all the time. We like you guys without it.” Dean said.

His only reply was a snore. Dean glanced up and saw that Castiel was dead to the world so Dean did probably the creepiest thing he had ever done and watched him sleep for several minutes. The love he was feeling, the swelling in his chest that made him feel like he was either going to bust or cry was overwhelming but he was also okay with it.

Finally, he kissed Cas’ cheek before returning to where he was before, getting as close as he could. Moments later he fell off to sleep as he conceded that U2 wasn’t half bad.

 

 


	9. December 26, 1988 (Monday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John turned the back of his chair towards his friends and straddled it, his chest against the chair's back and an arm thrown relaxed over the top. Once John was settled he nodded his head once towards them, a smile still plastered on his face and widening. "So, tell us all about her. What's her name?"
> 
> “Well, her name is Charlie." Jody started in, “And I was off duty but a call came over the radio for a 11-41 over at Ms. Holly’s.
> 
> "That's the foster home, right?" John asked.
> 
> Jody nodded. "I radioed in and asked for the dispatch information. When I was told it was a possible broken arm, I canceled the ambulance. Holly really doesn't have the funds to pay for what a ride in one of those would cost. When I got there, Ms. Holly was sitting on the lawn with this red headed spit fire holding her arm and just a scowling.
> 
> Bobby piped in with an amused huff. "I think the precise words you used were ' _madder than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest_ ’."
> 
> Jody chuckled, eyes wide as she conceded. "Something like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is interested, I have a site up for [ **Winchester: Next Generation Series (W:NGS)**](http://www.winchesternextgenerationseries.tumblr.com/main)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> While you can get to the Series from my profile on AO3, I **HIGHLY** recommend you visit the site **FIRST** before tackling the Series. It will make it so much better. Read everything there and then ENJOY!

 

## December 26, 1988 ( _Monday_ )

When Dean heard the rustle of the door handle and the click as it opened, it was too late. He lifted his head quickly but his body was still so weighted with sleep that he couldn’t move his limbs. His dad peered in only to shift his sight to the floor quickly and took a breath before slowly sliding them back. A small awkward smile eased on his mouth in an effort not to unsettle his son and cleared his throat before he spoke. “Uh- sorry to wake you boys, but Dean? You have visitors."

Dean was finally moving, pulling himself from Castiel’s arms. “Ah, okay?" he replied, swallowing against the hammering of his heart.

John lowered his gaze slightly before he nodded and closed the door behind him without saying another word.

“Shit.” Dean said running his fingers through his hair and turned to Castiel who was now sitting up, still squinting against wakefulness.

“Shit.” Dean said again as he got up from the bed and made his way to the dresser to find clothes to put on.

“What’s going on, Dean?” Castiel asked, clearly confused.

“Dude! My dad just walked in on us fucking spooning. So much for my look out. I’m going to fucking kill Sammy.” 

“He didn’t seem concerned.” Castiel said calmly.

It was the kind of calm that was grating Dean’s nerves. “What in the hell are you getting at?”

Castiel looked at him, his brow tightening with his squinting which was making him look either completely confused or absolutely pissed off. “What I’m _getting at_ is he didn't seem to care.”

“Of course he cares!” Dean threw on a pair of jeans and his Zeppelin hoodie. 

“No Dean, I really don’t think he did.” At that Castiel shrugged, sighed and began digging through his bag for his own clothes. They remained silent until they were dressed and leaving the room.

“Were you expecting visitors?” Castiel asked as Dean opened the door.

“Naw. I mean, not that I remember.” Dean replied as he scratched the back of his neck and then began tugging the lobe of his ear as he descended the stairs. He knew his dad was going to flip out on him once everybody was gone or get him alone in close quarters and read him the riot act. Dean had never been so thankful for a house full of people in his life.  

As he hit the bottom step he heard familiar voices and it caused him to smile despite his anxiety. He rounded the corner and called out excitedly, “Uncle Bobby! Aunt Jody! Oh man!” Dean made a beeline straight to Jody, who already had her arms open to receive him. She wrapped her arms around him tight and like he wasn’t old enough to forego kisses from her, she planted one right on his forehead before making a lower whistle. “You’ve sprung up since the Summer too, Dean. What has your dad been feeding you two?" She asked incredulously before releasing him. 

Dean merely blushed and shrugged.

Bobby had made his way over to Dean. “What am I? Chopped liver with a side of toast?” He said gruffly and amused.

Dean just turned and smacked the man’s stomach with the back of his hand. “Aww, you’re jealous. That’s adorable.” Dean winked and Bobby leveled a glare in mocked annoyance.

“Shuddup. Com’ere ya idjit.” He grabbed the boy in a solid hug giving a hearty pat on the back which Dean returned with a chuckle. When they separated, Bobby continued to maintain a firm grip on Dean’s shoulder. There was affection swimming in his eyes. Bobby never had to say it, but Dean knew he was his uncle's favorite.

Dean looked up at him and said, “I didn’t know you guys were going to be here!”

Bobby released his shoulder and nodded towards John who was standing in the entryway, smiling. It was still the awkward one from before. “Yeah, well. Your dad would have just told us to turn right around 'cause of the snow.” Bobby’s eyes rested on John now. “But we’ve missed you boys.” It was on one level accusatory and on another, Bobby was just really drilling it home to John he needed to let the boys come to South Dakota more often than their customary two week stay during Summer break.

The boys had become something of surrogates to his and Jody’s desire to have children during those few years that John was in no shape to watch after them. Bobby and Jody loved Dean and Sam as if they were their own.

Bobby’s first wife Karen had passed away after a short battle with ovarian cancer. He was angry and bitter with the world after that and spent the two years following her death getting into drunken bar brawls and having to be practically shoveled off the train tracks one night by none other than Sheriff Jody Mills. What started out as Jody dealing with a typical drunken and disorderly Bobby, turned into marriage just three years later. It only took that long to get hitched because they both were too scared to love and lose someone again. Jody lost her son and husband in a car crash around the same time Bobby lost his wife. It had bonded them but also made maneuvering around fears of loving and losing much like the taking of the Alamo. It took a two week relationship hiatus for them to realize that the pain of never having what they shared would be far worse than any threat of losing each other.

“Plus we have some news we wanted to share with the family in person rather than over the phone.” Again Bobby gave John a pointed look which John smiled and nodded to before looking down to floor and back up again.

“What is it, Uncle Bobby?” Sam asked excitedly from the couch where he, Gabriel and Anna had taken over.

“We’re adopting.” Jody said excitedly with a wide smile across her face. “

“Really? "John asked, his happiness sincere. “I know you guys have been throwing the idea around for years.”

"And we would probably still be throwing it around if she hadn’t literally fallen into our life.” Jody said, still smiling. Bobby was looking at his wife now and a smile spread across his own mouth lightening his usually cantankerous presence.

“Hell, this requires a sit down. Sam?” John said and Sam instantly got up with Gabriel and Anna following. “Have a seat, just going to get a few more chairs. Dean, introduce your friends.” John left the room and Dean cleared his throat.

“Uh yeah. Sorry, um Uncle Bobby-  Aunt Jody. This is Castiel, Gabriel and Anna Novak.” Dean said pointing to each of them before turning to Bobby and Jody again. “Cas, Gabe, Anna? Bobby and Jody Singer."

There were small waves, nods and smiles from both sides of the introduction, but Jody’s brow tightened a little. “Novak? Any relation to the Novaks' who own Empyrean?”

“One and the same.” Gabriel beamed but it was insincere and Jody picked up on it.

“Not a fan, huh?” She asked and her smile widened at the shocked expression on Gabriel’s face. “I’m a sheriff. I’m sorta an expert at being able to see when someone's bluffing.” She winked at him and Gabriel’s features relaxed.

“Huh.” Was his only response before John returned with a chair for himself and one for Anna while Dean, Gabriel and Sam took to the floor.

John turned the back of his chair towards his friends and straddled it, his chest against the chair's back and an arm thrown relaxed over the top. Once John was settled he nodded his head once towards them, a smile still plastered on his face and widening. "So, tell us all about her. What's her name?"

“Well, her name is Charlie." Jody started in, “And I was off duty but a call came over the radio for a 11-41 over at Ms. Holly’s.

"That's the foster home, right?" John asked.

Jody nodded. "I radioed in and asked for the dispatch information. When I was told it was a possible broken arm, I canceled the ambulance. Holly really doesn't have the funds to pay for what a ride in one of those would cost. When I got there, Ms. Holly was sitting on the lawn with this red headed spit fire holding her arm and just a scowling.

Bobby piped in with an amused huff. "I think the precise words you used were _'madder than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest_ ’."

Jody chuckled, eyes wide as she conceded. "Something like that." She continued, "Anyway. I helped her into the car and then questioned Ms. Holly how the incident occurred. Apparently, Charlie was trying to make the great escape by shimmying out the second story window. Unfortunately the gutter she decided to climb down broke free and she fell with her arm between her and the ground."

John winced and nodded. "Ouch."

"Yeah but Charlie's a tough cookie. Not altogether without her fears mind you, but a broken arm is least of them. She didn't say a word all the way to the hospital. Only answered in nods and shakes of the head."

"Ms. Holly got there just shortly after us, signed some papers, giving consent for meds and for setting the arm.  She had to get back to the other children so I stayed.”

"Called Bobby, letting him know not to expect me home for a while. They were taking her back when she grabbed my arm. Just one look at her and I knew she wanted me back there with her.”

"It wasn't until the pain meds kicked in that she started talking. Her parents died in a car accident and that, of course, got to me. Found out later that other members of her family who could have taken her in were either already strapped as it was or just downright unfit. She ran from the first few foster homes she was in.”

"Ms. Holly is her fourth placement. Her story just broke my heart, John. I got home and told Bobby all about her- everything she told me. " Jody's eyes hazed over as tears threatened to start flowing.

Bobby saw this and spoke up then. "Seein' as they were clearly smitten with each other..."

"Hey!" Jody said and sniffed, drying the corners of her eyes. "I'm not the only one smitten." She corrected.

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby waved her off. "Just like a wart. She grows on you." He winked at Jody and lent her a soft smile before continuing. "I suggested she stop by Holly's and you know- keep tabs on her. That escalated to the rascal practically living with us. So the thinking was, Charlie needs a family and we can't imagine our home without her in it. Let's make the arrangement permanent."

"We began the adoption process right after." Jody said, putting a period on the end of the story.

"That's really great, guys. How old is she?" John asked.

"Just turned thirteen."

It was Sam who spoke up next. "So she'll be going with us to Yellowstone? Cool!"

"Yup." Bobby confirmed. "Speakin' of which, we're thinking of three weeks instead of just the two. Seein's we don't get to see you boys all that much. That way you'll have plenty of time to get to know Charlie too. If that's alright with you, John.”

"Of course." John replied. "I don't see why not. Congratulations on becoming parents and role models.” He ended with a wink.

Dean snorted which caused Bobby to look at him. “Hey, watch it.”

Dean smiled and punctuated it with a "Hmmm."

“So, who’s ready for some breakfast?” John asked and everyone chimed in that they were.

Jody slapped Bobby heartedly on the knee before rising from the couch. “I’ll help you out.” She said turning to John.

John was about to protest until he saw the look in her eyes that pretty much spelled out ‘we need to talk’. John simply nodded and replied, “That would be great. Thanks.”

 ~*~

"So. What's going on?" Jody asked as she pulled butter and eggs from the fridge.

"Nothing?" John replied as he placed some bacon in the hot skillet.

"Mmmm hmmm."Jody looked at him, leaning one hand on the counter and the other on her hip. Her tongue was working at her cheek, her eyes locked onto the side of his face. John tried not to look at her as he used his fork to push around the bacon and focused on the grease popping out of the pan and hitting his hand and forearm.

"John, you should know better. Ignoring me doesn't make me go away. It only entices me to evil eye you more.”

John made a sharp exhale through his nose as he nodded and grinned. “Don’t I know it.” He stated and she slapped his arm with the back of her hand.

“Spill it. Is it the boys? Are they okay? Are _you_ okay?” She frowned.

John looked at her then. “Yeah. I mean, much of the same as always.”

Jody cocked a brow at that. “But?”

John sighed, taking the pan off the fire. He turned to her fully then. “If I ask for your help on something, do you promise not to leak it to anyone? Just keep it between you and me?”

“Not even Bobby?” Jody asked both concerned and curious.

“Especially Bobby.”

Jody shook her head, “You know I don’t like doing that, John.”

“Yeah, I know.” John said while he placed a hand on each of Jody’s shoulders. “But he will only give me hell and what I need right now is a friend who can help me get answers.”

Jody’s shoulders sagged and she nodded. “Yeah okay, but you’re scaring me. You know that, right?”

“I’m sorry.” He said plainly, adding the pan back to the fire. “There’s a file I’m going to give you when you leave. In it are names and dates that I need you to backtrack. See if you can pick up a trail. I’m having a difficult time getting any information and you have connections that I lack.”

"So, this is about Mary I take it?” Jody asked, her voice leveled with empathy.

“Mary and the Novaks’ mother, actually. Missouri believes the two incidents are connected and I’m starting to think they are too.”

“Wait, I remember that case. Detectives concluded she was alive but on the lam.” Jody’s brow furrowed.

“I have reason to believe the detective work was- was not exactly clean.”

Jody’s eyes blew wide at that. “You mean like a cover up?” Jody paused then like a light bulb flipped on and asked earnestly- her voice lower, "Do you- you think you've found the evidence you have been looking for? That Dean was telling the truth about what he saw- what he heard? That it wasn't an accident?"

“I don’t know, but I mean to find out." John replied.

"Listen. John, you know I'm not one to dismiss Missouri but any chance she could be off on this one? I mean, how could Mary and Mrs. Novak's case be related? They were on completely other sides of the country. Events a few years apart. They had nothing in common."

"I know. I said just as much to Missouri but she got downright furious with me. Said things I would have much rather not heard but needed to hear them just the same. I dug after that, seriously dug and- I’m convinced.”

Seeing the fresh tension squaring Johns shoulders and the clenching of his jaw, she could tell he was on the defense waiting for her to give him a rebuttal. She wasn’t going to give it though. John was an excellent detective and if he was convinced then she considered herself a convert.

“I believe you, John. Relax. I’ll take up the beat for you. I’ll get your answers if it’s in my ability.” She saw John’s shoulders and jaw relax at her words. She added with concern, “You know the Novaks' are pretty big game, right? That you might be putting yourself in danger if what you say turns out to be the case?”

John sighed. “Yeah. I’m aware but I owe it to my boys and to Gia Novak’s kids to find out.

“Wait. Those are _the_ Novak children?” she asked incredulously.

“Yup.” Was John’s reply but there was something else in that one word. Something heavy and unrelated to what they were discussing just moments before.

Jody’s brow tightened again. “What in the hell are they doing in Elizabethtown of all places?”

John shrugged as he started cooking the eggs. “I’m not sure but they’re great kids, model students even though they have no parental supervision I can tell of. Likely haven't had any in a long time. Quite impressive.” A crooked smile plastered on his face as he said the last part.

Jody smiled then too. “Why John, I do believe you’ve become taken with those kids.”

“Yeah. So are Dean and Sammy.” He huffed and the smile grew. “Hell, so’s Missouri. I think Gabriel’s her favorite. She gives him the most hell.”

Jody laughed then, “Yeah, well- that’s definitely impressive.” She put her hand on John’s back and began rubbing a comforting circle between his shoulder blades. “You know I’ve got your back, John.”

John turned to her and grabbed her up into a brief hug. “I know.” He released her, warmth and relief washing over his face. “I know.”

~*~

 

 

Most of the day was spent with everyone outside playing in the snow which had stopped falling just after breakfast. The sun was bright, sky clear blue and the reflection of light on the snow blinding. Missouri had ridden out to visit since she knew without anyone contacting her that Bobby and Jody were in town. She congratulated the Singers for the upcoming adoption without them having to inform her. The Singers were quite used to Missouri's gift by now and didn’t even flinch as they thanked her, returning her hugs.

When Bobby got a snowball in the face, he cursed and looked up to see Sam laughing and Dean on his way to making another one to hurl. The chase was on and after a tackle to the ground, Dean found the hoodie under his jacket being stuffed full of snow while Bobby had him pinned face down.

“Get off me, old man!” Dean called out breathless from the wrestling match that had gotten him in the position in the first place.

“High School wrestling champ, ya idjit. Quit your belly aching. You messed with the wrong badger.” Bobby stood up quickly knocking the snow off of his knees then bent over picking up his trucker cap. He smacked it against his leg knocking the snow out of it too before putting it on his head and admiring his handy work.

Dean pushed himself up then, shaking out his hoodie and scowling. “You’re strong for someone older than the Declaration of Independence. I'll give you that."

Bobby shook his head. "At least I ain't still suckin' my thumb, ya’ big baby."

"Shit, Dean." Gabriel said and then laughed. "You still suck your thumb? That explains everything."  He added a wink.

"What? No! Shuddup!" Dean shoved the laughing teen who only laughed harder before throwing an arm over Sam's shoulders. Sam looked up at Gabriel smiling as they began walking towards the house. Sam was laughing at something Gabriel had whispered low enough Dean couldn't hear it. Sam brought up his hand and grabbed the forearm that was loosely hooked over his shoulders.

Dean stopped and cocked his head at his brother and Gabriel's interaction. He was starting to become uncomfortable with how close Sammy and Gabe seemed to be getting but he had been rationalizing it away. His brother was an affectionate kind of kid and maybe Gabriel was as well. Besides, the age difference alone was enough to deter his suspicions.

Looking at them now though, Dean vowed he would have to talk to Gabriel and see what was really going on. Castiel was beside him a second later.

"What's wrong, Dean?" He asked.

"Uh, nothing man." Was all he said with a shake of his head, before continuing his trek to the house.

Just as they got to the porch, John stepped out. "Dean? I need to speak with you a moment..if that's alright?" Dean could hear the blood rushing in his ears. This was it. He knew this had been coming since this morning. The troubled look on his dad's face pretty much confirmed his fears.

Realizing he was just staring, he made himself reply. "Uh. Sure, Dad." His gaze fell on Castiel still at his side. The empathetic look he was giving him wasn't helping Dean's panic. Castiel nodded then and walked on into the house, leaving Dean to tackle his dad alone.

John's eyes followed Castiel too and once he was inside, John turned them on Dean. "Walk with me, son."

Dean did and found his dad stopping next to the garage. "I wanted to talk to you about something and I didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone."

"Sure, Dad." Dean said swallowing hard.

"I asked Ellen out." John let out as if he had been holding his breath.

"Huh?" Dean asked. _What did this have to do with him and Cas cuddling?_

"I asked Ellen out. New Year’s Eve. I thought I should tell you in case you wanted to talk about it." The worried look on John's face grew in the wake of Dean's silence which snapped Dean out from where he had feared this conversation was going to go.

"Uh. Yeah, Dad. I think that's great."

"Really? You'll be okay if uh, if I end up staying over?" John asked.

That brought Dean fully around to his senses. "Dude. I think that's awesome! Sure, we'll be fine. You don't do anything but work and take care of me and Sam. You need to kick back. Can Gabe and Cas stay here for New Year’s? I think Anna has other plans..." He asked testing his dad's reaction.

"Yeah, son. Yeah." John's features turned amused. "You're really fine?"

"Yeah. So? Discussion over ‘cause I'm kinda freezing."

John nodded and Dean turned to leave. The whole walk back to the house Dean wondered if his dad simply didn't see what Dean was sure he saw.

~*~

Jody and Bobby left before nightfall so they could get back home. They were expecting a call at any moment about the adoption finalization. Missouri left a little later with Anna in tow to drop her off at her girlfriend's house since they were back in town. John ended up getting a call to come down to the station to question a suspect he helped track down but didn't want to call Missouri to come back to watch the boys so they were on their own.

By the time darkness settled in the sky, Dean, Sam, Cas and Gabriel sat on the upstairs couch taking turns on _Mike Tyson's Punch-Out_. Gabriel was still rubbing the back of his hand where Missouri had smacked him with a wooden spoon for touching dinner without washing up first.

"The woman hates me." He muttered with a frown.

"Quit whining and kick Bald Bull's ass for me. Fucker's squirrely." Dean tossed the controller at Gabriel who caught it smoothly.

"So it's on by the way." Gabriel said as he started clicking buttons and moving his whole body with the controller like he was actually ducking and dodging Bald Bull's swings.

"What's that?" Dean said as he lit a joint.

"The bet we had." Gabriel said matter-of-factly like Dean should know exactly what he was talking about.

Dean blew out a plume of smoke and handed the joint to Castiel whose lap he was laying in. Castiel's legs were wrapped around Dean from behind while Castiel carded his fingers through Dean's hair and scratched his scalp. Dean had to fight urges to vocalize just how good it felt. If the half hard-on Castiel has poking into his back was anything to show for it, he was quite enjoying Dean's closeness much the same.

"Man, I don't know what you're getting at," Dean replied lazily.

Gabriel tossed the controller onto Dean's stomach as he took the joint his brother was offering.

"The mall? Overnight? Stores open to us? Ring a bell, fucktard?" Gabriel replied before taking a hit.

Sam, who had taken the controller from Dean's offended stomach, spoke next. "No fuckin way! When?"

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother's excitement. "Whatever."

"New Year's Eve? Jo let it slip your dad and her mom had a date." Gabriel answered, ignoring Dean's remark.

Castiel chuckled. "When did you talk to Jo?"

Gabriel looked sheepish as he passed the joint to Dean. "Uh. Earlier today."

"Huh." His brother replied simply, his smiled widening.

Gabriel took a pillow and smacked him in the face. "Don't be a pecker."

Castiel laughed loudly then which got the other three laughing as well. When they finally calmed for the most part, Sam busted out with, "First the best Christmas ever and now the best New Year’s!"

"Right on." Gabriel replied, giving Sam a high-five.

Bald Bull was never defeated, but everyone went to sleep with contented smiles on their faces.


	10. December 27, 1988 (Tuesday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know you want me too.” He tugged and Castiel raised his ass enough for Dean to pull them to his ankles. “Your dick is telling me to do it.” He said as he undid his tennis shoes, taking them and his socks off before pulling Castiel’s pants the rest of the way off, tossing them to the other side of the room.
> 
> “Dean. I’m not even hard anymore.” Castiel informed the obvious before turning back to him finally.
> 
> “Since when did your dick have to be hard to tell me what it wants?”
> 
> “Dicks don’t talk Dean. If yours does, you might want to consider a mental health evaluation,” Castiel deadpanned back.
> 
> “Oooo, you’re talking all nerdy. It’s sexy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to thank the lovely [Vitamindesi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/vitamindesi/works) for her beta work AND for putting up with a writing quirk I have that annoys the piss out of her LMAO! Like I told her, there is a reason I got a 98% instead of a 100% on my English evaluation. I'll try to do better next time hun!
> 
> No major warnings for this chapter. Just more 'looming sense of foreshadowing' as Vitamindesi called it lol. Also, fluff and laughter inside. Well, at least I laughed anyway. <3
> 
> Three links that might be of import:
> 
> Jo's car is similar to this: [[X](http://vicvapor.com/files/2014/01/OLD-PARKED-CARS-1973-AMC-Javelin.jpg)]
> 
> The converted barn was a little inspired by these two: [Pic One](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r65/arasiriel/Paintings/4c9ecc7d522dff05df18fdf7c7ec6e19_zpsaab28296.jpg~original) and this: [Pic Two](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r65/arasiriel/Paintings/1d19bca6eb41b8bc7340b22bd8887699_zpsde718a57.jpg~original)
> 
> Anyway!  
> 41 pages of YAY... ENJOY!

 

## December 27, 1988 ( _Tuesday_ )

Castiel heard the strangled cry before he felt the actual movement. The bed made a few quick forceful jerks that the whole of Castiel's body moved. A muffled word that sounded like ' _mom_ ' pulled him from his sleep induced fog enough for him to register he wasn't dreaming. Instead, he realized blearily, it was coming from Dean. Castiel heard the shifting of the body next to him, skin rubbing against sheets and breath hitching. Another ' _mom_ ' squeezed past benumbed vocal cords.

Lifting his body as quickly as he could while still half-asleep, Castiel propped himself up on an elbow and peered over Dean. The other boy was facing away from him, his chin tucked into his chest. His body curled up tightly into himself as he rocked back and forth like someone trying to self-soothe. His face was pulled into a tight grimace and at first Castiel thought he was in pain.

Hesitantly, Castiel put out his free hand touching the other boy's shoulder that was cold and wet with sweat. "Dean?" Castiel said but his voice came out low and broken from his own abandoned slumber. Dean was starting to move his legs, pulling his knees impossibly tighter into himself as his body was wracked with tremors. The _‘_ _no_ _’_ that came from Dean was a howl rather than a vocalization and it made goosebumps rise on Castiel's flesh.

Castiel called out Dean’s name with as much authority as he could generate and shook his shoulder hard. It barely moved Dean’s body, he was so tightly wound.

Instantly Dean stiffened and his movements stilled. Quiet hung in the air too long for Castiel's liking so he uttered "Dean?", this time gentler and full of concern.

Dean was all movement as soon as he heard his name. He turned to Castiel quickly, wrapping his arms around Castiel's torso and burying his face in the crook between his shoulder and neck, the backside of his head resting on Castiel’s pillow. Castiel, without a moment of hesitation, wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him tightly to him. Somewhere in the vicinity of Castiel’s heart a painful twist was felt as a sob broke from Dean’s throat, his body jerking from the force of it.

Castiel was at a loss of what to do so he began rubbing Dean's back gently and kissing the top of his head, keeping his face nuzzled into Dean's hair. "Shhhh, I've got you. It's okay. You're safe." He started repeating in different variations.

"I couldn't save her Cas. It's all my fault," Dean was finally able to squeeze out between sobs.

"Who were you not able to save?" Castiel asked, perplexed. The moisture from Dean’s heated breath and tears cooling with each inhale caused another twist in his chest.

After a few more hard sobs Dean was able to finally force out, "My mom."

Castiel still held Dean in a tight embrace, but lifted his head in confusion trying to look at Dean’s face. "I don't understand."

Dean tried to catch his breath before attempting to get Castiel to understand. He knew Castiel was trying to look at him so he turned his face even closer to Castiel’s neck where he rested his forehead, his face out of sight. "I heard it. I saw the shadows. I heard it when my mom hit the wall."

Dean paused as he took another shuddered breath. He knew his words were coming out cryptic as he stammered through incomplete sentences. He was pretty sure Castiel was no more enlightened as to what he was trying to explain then when he first started, but he continued anyway, "I heard their voices. I'll never forget their voices Cas, as long as I live. I grabbed Sam from his crib and hid in the crawl space under the stairs. Then I smelled it. Something was burning and I needed to find my mom.”

Dean listened to himself spilling out details he hadn’t spoken about in years and he had no clue why he was doing it now. He felt weak to even be crying in the first place but this nightmare had been particularly paralyzing and real. When Cas had pulled him tightly to him, that’s all it took. He could have stopped right here, but he was sure Cas wouldn’t let it go so he continued once more.

“I heard their feet stomp on the stairs as they ran down them and out of the house. I laid Sammy down and ran up the stairs to my parent's room. Everything was on fire, the heat- the smoke. It stung my eyes, the smoke burned my throat and I called out for her. That’s when I saw her standing there in the corner of her room, trapped by the flames and I- I screamed for her. She yelled at me to get out of the house. To take Sammy and get out of the house, but I stood there frozen, I couldn't stop looking. Then the flames caught her gown and she just burned. Her screams. The smell..." Dean stopped there, choking on another sob.

The pace of Castiel’s heart began picking up speed and he wasn't quite sure why. When Dean quieted again, he hesitated before asking, “Dean, are you saying someone did that to your mom? That it wasn't an accident?”

Dean made a sniffing sound and pulled away then. He wiped his eyes and face dry with the palms of his hands, movements rough and hurried. He stood quickly making his way to his dresser avoiding eye contact with the picture that contained the image of his mother. Opening the drawer with an aggressive tug, he fished around and pulled out a shirt before slamming the dresser drawer closed.

"Dean?” Castiel asked, sitting up in the bed.

Dean pulled on his shirt and started after a pair of jeans. Anger was rising, the usual after effects of dreams like these where he relieved that night in vivid detail. Castiel’s questioning wasn’t helping either. He didn't want to delve into how no one found evidence that it was anything other than a tragic accident. How he failed to see the men he heard. How he failed to save his mom. The loops of scenarios about how he could have done more if he hadn't froze. He could have gotten water, could have wet some towels and threw them on the flames to buy his mom some time for her to cross over. He could have done something, but instead- he froze. People could say all day long, _‘_ _but you were only four_ _’_. To him, that didn’t excuse anything.

Having found a pair of jeans from the bottom drawer, he pulled them on quickly and with force. His breath was coming quicker and he was shaking visibly which only made him angrier. He kicked the drawer closed and without another word left the room, slamming the door behind him. He had to ge away from the lingering scent of his life burning away. What he needed was a drink.

Dean practically ran down the stairs almost knocking into someone as he rounded the counter to head for the door.

“Whoa! Where’s the fire?” Gabriel asked backing away and around Dean.

Dean glared at Gabriel for his ironic choice of words. Sam came around the corner right then and instantly knew something was wrong.

“Dean?” Sam asked his brow knitted together.

“Where’s Dad?” Dean asked, ignoring the weight of his brother’s concern.

“He had to go to the station. Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam asked, stepping around Gabriel to stand in front of his brother who was poised with one shoulder towards the door and the other pointing in the direction of him and Gabriel.

His brother's probing gaze and Gabriel's perplexed inspection only served to make Dean feel trapped. Castiel descending the stairs with a concerned expression, only compounded the feeling. Dean chanced to look on Castiel fully, but just a moment of observation found what Dean could take as pity and like a slap to his cheek he turned away, towards his exit . “I need to get out of this house. I need a drink.” He voiced his thoughts that were now playing in a loop.

One look at his brother’s red tinged eyes and puffy face, Sam knew what was up. “Shit.” Sam uttered and sighed. “A nightmare?”

Dean looked at him mostly out of his peripheral vision than directly, his hands gripping into fits and releasing them rapidly. It was the only answer Sam needed.

"You’re not going off by yourself Dean. I had no clue where you were and I was left covering for your ass while I worried. It wasn't exactly awesome when you were puking your guts up and I had to drag you to the bed before dad got home. Besides, we all need to get outta here. We’ve been trapped in the house too long anyway.”

Sam turned and looked up at Gabriel who seemed to be trying to catch up with the quick change in the atmosphere. “Yeah, uh- let me get my keys. We’ll go grab some food _and_ booze.” Gabriel confirmed before giving his brother a questioning look as he passed him and headed up the stairs taking two steps at a time.

Without another word Dean made his exit out of the house slamming the door behind him. As soon as Castiel heard the screen door slam next, he turned his questioning expression to Sam who sighed again shaking his head.

Sam brushed his bangs out of his face which the strands mostly fell back to where they had been and looked at Castiel finally. “He’ll be okay,” he said as he put out his hand and squeeze Castiel’s forearm before heading up the stairs. “Mostly.” he called out over his shoulder.

That last word did nothing to wash away Castiel's unease. Pursing his lips, he steeled himself before heading outside. The screen door slammed behind him and he let his eyes scan for Dean. Not seeing him, he walked around the side of the house where he caught sight of the other boy sitting on the tree swing.

He sighed and began walking till he came to stand at Dean’s side. For a moment neither said anything but finally Dean slid over giving Castiel room to sit.

Dean didn’t look at the other boy as he sat down. He was afraid if he did he would spill more of his pathetic guts. He was embarrassed for having turned into a wuss from some bad dream. He was pissed that he had even had the dream in the first place. It had been weeks since the last one that replayed his mom's death in all its gory detail, and he had thought foolishly that he wouldn’t have it anymore. The dream of him perishing with her and falling into an abyss, was far less disconcerting. That nightmare picked at his scabs but made him feel like he was paying his dues for failing her. This one left open and festering wounds with no hope of redemption, just a shit ton of guilt.

Then he had to go and have it with Cas laying right beside him, and worse; he had revealed things he never wanted to talk about- ever.

He kept waiting for Cas to start asking questions, to press him, but he didn’t. He just sat there staring out at the frost coated field, his breath visible on the cold air. Dean was wishing he had grabbed his jacket.

“Thanks for not asking,” Dean finally said.

Castiel shrugged. “It’s not my place to ask, but I’m here if you need to talk about it.”

“I don’t.”

Dean knew how harsh it sounded even though it was the truth. To Dean’s surprise, Castiel merely nodded. He still hadn’t turned to look at Dean, which he was grateful for.

At that moment, Gabriel appeared around the side of the house and called out, "You guys coming? I mean are you coming with us? Shit! Just, let's go!"  

Sam was laughing when Gabriel gave him a shove before running to the car, the younger boy giving chase behind him.

Castiel shook his head and stood.

"You know your brother's a brick shy of a full wall, right?" Dean observed as he stood.

"Yeah well, rumor has it he was dropped on his head when he was a baby. Twice." Castiel unexplained in a very serious and even sympathetic tone.

Dean was looking down at the ground, his shoulders curved inward, but a smile and a huff of a chuckle came from him at Castiel's words. Castiel considered it a win. A small victory, but a victory none-the-less.

~*~

Twenty minutes later, they found themselves at a park, having chosen to settle for grub from a White Castle drive thru. Sam and Gabriel had bickered back and forth in hushed voices most of the ride to White Castle until Gabriel finally relented and pulled over next to a pay phone.

He had looked at Sam like he could set him on fire with laser vision, but Sam kept on smiling at him. Gabriel had gotten out of the car and shot one last look at Sam before putting a dime and a nickle in and dialing.

When Dean had asked who he was calling, Sam had simply answered, "You'll see."

The sun was out and the warmth was fast at work melting the snow that had piled up on Christmas day. Luckily they found a picnic table that was dry and fully in the warmth of the sun. They opened up their various bags and divided up their mini-burgers, fries and drinks. Gabriel sat four mini burgers off to the side with a fry and drink for an invisible someone.

Castiel noticed and tilted his head. "Who is that for?", he asked his brother.

Gabriel didn't look at him or answer because his attention was looking out towards the parking lot where Jo was getting out if her yellow 1970 AMC Javline that she had fixed up herself.

Gabriel swallowed nervously, wondering what in the fuck was wrong with him. He hadn't acted this way around a chick since before he grew pubes.  Her denim jacket with white fringe moved around her. Her long hair that was to the curve of her lower back was dancing around as the chilled wind swept around her.

"Oh." Castiel said in surprise and looking at Sam who was smiling all smug. Dean obviously had noticed as well putting two and two together.

"Well, aren't you just little Ms. Match Maker." Dean mumbled to his brother around an amused infused smile. Sam continued smiling as he took a bite from his burger.

"Hey guys." Jo said as she approached, but her eyes  and golden smile were solely trained on Gabriel. Everyone said their greetings back as she stood at the end of the table.

"I uh, picked you up some." Gabriel said pointing to the food he had separated.

"Wow, thanks. You didn't have to though." Jo said and for the first time in her and Gabriel's interactions, she blushed, looking down before smiling and looking back up at him.

They stood there looking at each other and then Dean couldn't take it anymore. "The eye fucking is getting awkward guys. Get a room or sit down."

Jo shot him a scowl and then punched him in the shoulder giving Dean the perfect frog even through his jacket.

"Ow! Fuck Jo!" Dean called out rubbing his tightened muscle as it relaxed and flattened out.

She sat down next to him using her butt to force him to scoot over to make room for her. "Serves you right jackass." She mumbled.

Gabriel sat across from her and as he pushed the food he had bought for her over, he continued staring. When she looked up at him, his eyes shot down to his own food and he started digging in like he hadn’t just been ogling her. He could feel her smile without looking up. His skin grew warm and the tips of his ears burned. This was completely not his MO.

He heard Sam make a soft snicker sound beside him and without looking up he kicked the side of Sam’s leg with his foot. He was rewarded with an immediate punch to his arm by Sam.

Dean watched the interaction curiously before speaking up around a mouth full of fries, “How about after this we go to the caves? I have some hidden hooche, we can grab it and get wasted.”

"Dad." Sam said as if the word said a million things at once as he plucked a diced onion that had fallen on his shirt and popped it into his mouth.

Dean groaned but was undeterred. “Then we just pick up some that’s stashed there and head home. We can camp out at the house, bonfire and everything. _Then_ get wasted. We have the camping gear.”

Sam shrugged showing it was plausible and he had no further argument.

“I’ll stop by the house, pick up some bud.” Gabriel added matter of factly. He brought his eyes to Jo’s deep browns and asked, “Since you had to sit the last bonfire out, you think you can come to this one?”

Jo smiled at the hopeful look on Gabriel’s face. It made her heart do weird things but it also made her nervous. Here was a guy far out of her league. She had only been with one guy and that was Dean. They had only done it a few times before she broke it off with him so it wasn’t like she was all that experienced. Gabriel on the other hand was extremely popular and definitely very experienced. It intimidated her, but she couldn't help it. There was just something about him and she wanted desperately to figure it out.

"I'll have to see. Mom'll likely take issue with there being just guys there even with it being under John's nose."

"Anna will come along. Might bring along her girlfriend to." Gabriel offered trying to rectify the issue.

That caused Jo to literally beam and Gabriel swore his heart stopped for a beat.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think that will work."

~*~

The rest of the time in the park was spent on small talk and eventually the sun started moving lower in the sky. Jo headed home to ask her mom about the camp out and the rest of them piled into Gabriel's car. They first stopped at the caves where Dean grabbed three bottles of whiskey. Two were opened and half empty and the other full minus two fingers worth. He was actually surprised any was left or hadn't been raided since the party.

Then again, the caves were on the back end of Garth and Ash's property. To come here taking booze or anything else without permission would be to take a piss on Ash. No one in this town except Crowley and the people he had sucking his dick would do that to Ash, but those assholes could careless about the hang out place anyway.

Dean was an exception to the rule for reasons that eluded him. Ash had just always liked him and Sam more than anyone else it seemed. Not that Dean was ungrateful. He just didn't get it.

They left the caves and headed straight for the Novak's. Both Dean and Sam had the unspoken agreement to stay in the car while Gabriel and Castiel ran inside to grab the weed and a few other things.

They sat in silence except for the engine running and the hum of the heater. Dean was the first to interrupt it.

"You and Gabe seem to be pretty buddy, buddy." He observed out loud.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. He's pretty awesome."

Dean nodded even though he knew Sam couldn't see him. "Best friends then?"

The tone in Dean's question alerted Sam that there was an accusation embedded within the question, but what his brother was trying to get at he couldn't really put a finger on.

He turned in his seat to face his brother, his eyes narrowed. "What are you _really_ asking me Dean?"

Dean took a pass at playing innocent. "Nothing. Just asking because you two are always around each other."

Sam's eyes narrowed further. "Okaaaay?" He turned back around in his seat. A few moments of silence passed before Dean spoke again.

"It's just. He's way older than you. I don't see what you've got in common."

Dean instantly regretted being so forward with his thoughts when his brother fully turned in his seat to face him, his face pinched into the scowl of bitchface number twenty one.

"Are you trying to say I'm too much of a _kid_ to hang out or something?" The hurt of the possible implication laced in his words.

"No! That's not what-" Dean started, but was interrupted as Sam continued as if he never heard him.

"Cause that's fuckin' lame. I've been hanging out with you and your friends since like- forever. You know I don't mix with most _kids_ my age because they think I'm weird or a freak!  It's why I'm glad I boosted a grade! It's why I'm working my ass off to boost another! I'm fuckin' seventeen trapped inside the body of an eleven year old. Do you have any clue-"

"Sam stop!" Dean shouted a lot louder than he meant to but it got the desired silence. In a lowered volume Dean went on. "It has nothing to do with that man. I'm just asking because-" Dean swallowed before spilling it, "You guys just seem... _close_."

Sam's eyes narrowed again before they widened as realization hit him about what his brother was getting at.

"Oh."

It was all Sam said, his face taking on the presence of both shy and sheepish as his eyes diverted away from Dean. Dean had no clue how to interpret that and it had him instantly peeved.

"Oh?!" Dean imitated mockingly. "What the fuck does that mean? _Oh_?" Dean's breathing and pulse had kicked up a notch and he wasn't sure if it was anxiety or anger anymore.

Sam still wasn't looking at Dean and just as Sam appeared to be opening his mouth to say something, the sound of a hand hitting the car caused them both to jump. Sam turned around fully to face the front and Dean looked out the back window just in time to see the trunk open.

The sound of things being thrown in pounded with thuds and shifted the car. The trunk slammed closed revealing Gabriel and Castiel talking at a lowered volume. Castiel had his hands in the pockets of a denim jacket Dean hadn't seen before. This one with band patches much like the ones he had given Dean for his own jacket. Castiel looked hot in it, that was no lie, but he was looking down at the ground with a faint frown. Gabriel said something and Castiel nodded. Gabriel seemed to sigh, lips pursed as he took a hand out of his own green military jacket and put it on his brother's shoulder.

Dean frowned then himself wondering what they were talking about that seemed to have Castiel morose and Gabriel sympathetic.

Gabriel dropped his hand and they both walked around to the driver's side. Dean turned his head, eyes following what he could see of Castiel's form. Gabriel opened the door and pulled the lever releasing the back of the seat to flip it forward so Castiel could slip into the back. Castiel sat down and pulled the seat back into place for his brother who adjusted it a little more as he too, settled in.

Dean hadn't taken his eyes off of Castiel. Even after Gabriel started the car and had backed it out of the drive, no one said a word. Several minutes into the drive Gabriel looked over to Sam who was looking out the passenger side window. He thought about asking him if he was okay because he looked the complete opposite of okay, but he figured now wasn’t the best time so he stowed it away for later. Instead, he turned his attention to his cassettes in the holder in between him and Sam. Picking out Van Halen’s OU812, he shoved it into the tape deck which gave a pop and click as it automatically began to play. The end of ‘Mine All Mine’ played out and ‘When It’s Love’ started.

Castiel shifted and sighed, shaking his head ever so slightly to some secreted thought as he looked out the side window. This didn’t pass Dean’s notice. Taking the back of his hand, he made a slap at the side of Castiel's thigh to get his attention.

Dean was expecting Castiel to turn to him but he didn't. Instead, he leaned his head on the glass. It made Dean's heart sink and hurt stung his insides. Straightening, he made to move away when Castiel's hand shot out and grabbed his. The grip felt desperate and when Dean looked up at the other boy, the worried look on his face replaced Dean’s hurt with concern.

Dean’s brow tightened and he mouthed a silent, “ _What_?”

To which Castiel mouthed a silent “ _Not now_.” with the shake of his head for emphasis. He then entwined his fingers with Dean’s and pulled his hand into his lap which made Dean have to scoot even closer until he was squeezed up tightly against him. Castiel turned his eyes then back to the scene passing outside the window as he rubbed his thumb tenderly back and forth over the skin of Dean’s hand.

The sinking feeling that was still lingering from the morning, was now raging in Dean’s gut. He knew whatever Castiel had to tell him, he wasn’t going to like it. Dean turned his eyes to the space between his brother and Gabriel, thankful for the promise of booze and MJ.

~*~

When they reached the house, John still wasn’t home so the four of them walked into the warmth and silence of the house. No one had spoken the whole trip and it seemed no one was in a rush to say anything still. When Dean looked at Sam, the latter diverted his eyes quickly to the floor and made a quick escape up the stairs. Dean half expected Gabriel to follow, but instead Gabriel asked him a question.

“Hey, man. Can I borrow your phone a minute?” The subdued and almost solemn tone caught Dean off guard. It just wasn’t something you heard from Gabriel and it made Dean’s stomach twist unpleasantly.

“Yeah, sure,” Dean replied.

Gabriel nodded and walked to the dining room where there was a phone on the wall and Dean turned to Castiel who was looking at his feet, with his hands in the pockets of his jacket as before.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Dean asked, trying to keep the nervous chatter of his teeth stilled.

Castiel answered without looking up. “There was a message on the machine from Michael. He wanted us to call him back. There was something of importance he needed to discuss with us and he told us to start packing should we have to leave quickly. He said he would explain when he spoke with us and not to delay.”

Dean felt cold and his teeth started to chatter anyway. “W-what does that mean?”

Castiel shrugged, “It could mean nothing, but it could also mean the worst. I just know if Michael tells us to start packing then there is a high probability our time here is coming to a fast close.”

The matter-of-fact way that Castiel said it, the acceptance he seemed to have about the situation caused Dean to have to bite down on the anger that was boiling up and sweeping heat over the cold that had been there. He was about to open his mouth to say something when Gabriel came back into the kitchen.

“Okay, so Michael isn’t in, but he left a message with his assistant for whenever we called back. Said to tell us he had to make a sudden trip to Japan to speak with father one on one and that he’d call us when he arrives. I gave his assistant this number for his return call. She said she expected him to be landing there right about now. So, we’ll see what this is all about when he calls tonight.” Gabriel looked sadly at his brother. “Cassie, it’ll be okay man.”

Castiel didn’t look up, just nodded in reply and Gabriel frowned before turning and ascending the stairs.

Once at the top Gabriel spotted Sam sitting on the couch playing a racing game. Gabriel allowed himself to feel the weight of the stone in his stomach as he sat down next to the younger boy who still hadn’t acknowledge him.

“Sooooo, what’s up Sambo?” Gabriel chanced to ask as he laid back.

“My brother seems to think you and I are too close,” Sam answered matter of factly. Gabriel raised a brow at that and Sam continued. “Says, there’s too big of an age gap for us to have anything in common.”

Gabriel sat back up then, leaning his elbows on his knees and turning his head to Sam at a tilt. “That’s what has you all twisted up?”

Sam tossed the remote over his shoulder, the wire hooked on his foot and Sam huffed while untangling it with a few short kicks. “No. He was hinting at our closeness meaning something else. His hints are about as subtle has him and Cas’ moaning and smacking lips in the middle of the night.”

Gabriel busted out in a short laugh before nodding and adding, “Yeah. That’s pretty non-subtle as it gets.” He chuckled a little before giving Sam a side glance. “So?”

Sam looked at him then, eyes narrowing. “So, what?”

Gabriel widened his eyes, spread his hands out in front of him and shrug nonchalantly before resting his elbows on his knees again. “What you’re brother was implying about, you know- us?”

Sam shrugged then, “I think you’re great Gabe. I love hanging out with you man, I don’t feel like I have to make efforts to be someone I’m not and you don’t make me feel outta place because I’m not like a normal eleven year old. You’re really cool like that. And I don’t know, I can talk to you like I can’t talk to anyone else, even Dean. That’s kind of a big deal.”

Gabriel nodded through this, but he could feel how much he cared about Sam in ways he thought he only had room for when it came to Anna and Cassie. Yet, this was a little more than that. What exactly he didn’t know really. As if hearing his thoughts Sam continued, “Why does everyone want to label everything or take it apart and figure out how it works. I mean, why can’t things just be what they are and become what they’re supposed to be? You know? It’s not like thinking on it hard enough is going to have it make more sense. If anything, it’s just going to get you all tied up and confused.”

Gabriel turned to the boy more with his own eyes narrowed now and his face scrunched up. Sam noticed and laughed, “What?”

"Duh’ fuck Sambo? That’s some pretty deep shit.” Gabriel laughed then, his face relaxing. “Remind me to never let you get a hit of the ganja. You’d turn into the next Socrates or some shit,” Gabriel continued to laugh as Sam started kicking at his leg.

“Shut up asshole.” Sam said in faux anger which became rolls of laughter when the kicking quickly turned into a wrestling match.

When the phone rang Gabriel stilled, and sat up quickly.

“What’s up?” Sam asked him sitting up as well..

Gabriel put his index finger to his lips in a signal for Sam to keep quiet which Sam did, tuning his ears to what was going on downstairs. A moment later, Dean was shouting up to Gabriel and Sam.

“It was just Jo. She’ll be here in a few hours!”

“Sweet!” Gabriel shouted back in a reply and took a long inhale before exhaling with a “Woooo.” accenting it.

“Ooooookay? Now what’s up with _you_?” Sam asked as Gabriel sat back.

Gabriel sighed. “When we were getting our stuff from the house, there was a message on the machine from our brother Michael sounding all bossy and shit. He told us to call him immediately and then gave us orders to start packing stuff up in case we had to duck out of town.”

Sam frowned at Gabriel’s words, “Why would he want you guys to take out of here so fast like that?”

Gabriel shook his head back and forth, his mouth open a fraction from the stretch of his neck, eyes roaming the ceiling above him like he was searching for something there. “I don’t know. This is how it’s been since mom pissed off.” Gabriel tried to push away the pain mentioning their mother brought up and barely being successful. He’d definitely been sober for far too long if he was thinking with this much clarity. In an almost pleading tone he added, “I just need him to hold off a few more months and I’ll be eighteen. I can get my trust fund and tell him to fuck off.”

“But that would leave Anna and Cas without you. What if Anna leaves too? Then Cas would be all by himself wouldn’t he?” Sam asked sadly. He couldn’t ever imagine leaving his brother and he knew Dean would never leave him. The idea of Anna and Castiel alone really bothered him.

Gabriel closed his mouth and slowly rolled his head over to look at Sam, eyes narrowed once again.

“Definitely no ganja for you,” Gabriel joked in a dead panned tone. Sam just replied with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head. “You’re a fucktard. You know I’m right.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel confirmed. “And I hate you.”

Sam laughed then and shoved Gabriel’s shoulder hard with a hand. “No. You don’t.”

“Yeah, well true as that may be, you still suck,” Gabriel shot back.

“I might,” Sam winked and then laughed.

Understanding hit Gabriel and his face actually flushed. Sam laughed harder letting it be known he saw the bashfulness that Gabriel thought he was no longer capable of.

“Stick it where the sun don’t shine, Sam!” Gabriel stated which only caused Sam to laugh harder. Gabriel lifted a brow at him as Sam grappled to spit something out.

“J- Jesus Gabe, dude. You’re making this way too easy!”

“Fuck you dickhead!!” Gabriel exclaimed which just sent Sam to another round of laughing and clutching his sides as he almost sobbed. Gabriel groaned instead of saying another word. He decided tickle torture was the only reply Sam was going to get till Jo arrived.

~*~

Just after Dean delivered the message about Jo to Gabriel, he suggested Castiel put his jacket back on and follow him out.

Castiel didn’t mention that perhaps he should stay by the phone in case his brother called, but Gabriel was in the house and if he was being honest, he didn’t want to be around when the call came. Michael wouldn’t speak with him anyway, so he would be left to sit torturously still, listening to Gabriel’s replies and questions and trying to discern what was being said between them. The havoc that would rake on his nerves would be unbearable.

So, he left the phone answering to his brother and followed Dean out the kitchen door. They had just stepped off the porch when Dean turned suddenly, his green eyes bearing down on Castiel before he glanced around and then pulled Castiel until their chests were touching. Dean did another quick glance down the drive and neither seeing or hearing the Impala, he did the one thing he had been itching to do the whole morning and consumed Castiel’s mouth with his own. The kiss deepened shortly, tongues doing quick, hungry slides against each other before Dean pulled way to rest his forehead against Castiel’s.

Dean’s hands with fingers spread, stroked down the length of Castiel's arms. Castiel glanced up to see Dean’s eyes were closed and the pulse of his jugular showed a heart that was racing. Before Castiel could ask, Dean spoke his thoughts, “I’m scared Cas.” It came at the level of a whisper, but it didn’t keep it from feeling like a scream to Castiel’s heart. Castiel brought his hands up and gripped the back of Dean’s neck, his thumbs caressing Dean’s jaw line with strokes he was hoping were comforting. The tap of his pulse was pressing against Castiel’s wrists and he wished he could slow it down, that there was something he could say to Dean to make how he was feeling disappear. There was nothing though, this is what he had feared and he was glad he had warned Dean ahead of time. Dean was gripping Castiel’s jacket sleeves like they were a life line.

“I know, as am I.” Castiel replied and sighed. “As am I.”

“I- I need to be with you.” Dean opened his eyes then and Castiel saw the meaning there as if he had said it out loud. Castiel nodded and asked, “You have some place we can go?”

Dean pulled his head back then and Castiel let go. Dean did a quick glance around and having seemed to focus on a place, turned back to Castiel and nodded. “Yeah, I do. Come on.” Dean turned and began to follow when Castiel remembered something.

“Hold on Dean.” he said as he made his way to his brother’s car. He opened the driver’s side door and pulled the lever to pop the trunk. Closing the door and going around to the trunk he pushed it open and reached into it. Dean couldn’t see what he was doing from the angle he was at, but he heard the zipper and Dean’s throat went instantly dry because he knew. When Castiel closed the trunk, he saw the bottle that Castiel tucked into the inside pocket of his jean jacket. Dean felt the jolt of anticipation shock through his center and spread out to his limbs and it was all he could do not to pull the other boy to the ground right then.

Castiel came around the car and once he was close enough, Dean reached out and grabbed Castiel’s hand. A small tug had Castiel following close beside him as he lead the way to the long row of structures which had garage, tool shed and a white washed gamberel arched barn connected. Dean continued past the first two buildings to come to stop at the barn. Dean reached up to the top of the door frame and pulled down a simple brass key which Dean used to unlock the wood door with a simple square glass window in the center. Castiel had never been in this part of the building before and was surprised to see the barn had been converted to something akin to a studio apartment. The gamberel arch, was much higher than it appeared from the outside, lended to a very open feel with newly added cross beams adding strength and a pleasing visual to the structure. Wood paneling of dark oak accented the walls and one window towards the top of the arch had a matching one at eye level. There were no furnishings other than a long couch with a coffee table in front of it. In the kitchen area, there was fridge, a simple stove, a line of cabinets and counter space. It was carpeted in simple deep red  indoor/outdoor flooring that matched all of the dark oak perfectly. To the far right next to a small window, there was a hand crafted wooden ladder that led up to a loft that likely once held hay bales and sacks of corn and grain.

Noticing Castiel’s interest Dean let go of his hand then, looking around at the place. “Dad and I fixed this up the Summer we first moved here with him. Sam helped some. Dad had said the framing was too sound and he’d feel bad just tearing down something that had been around longer than he’d been alive. His thinking was if either Sam and I ever needed a place to stay when we were grown, we could just move in here and have our own space.”

A faint upturn at the corners of his mouth followed as he then turned his face to the ceiling. The stretch of his throat, the slightly ajar mouth and the way the beams of the sun trespassed the window in the door lit the fringes of Dean’s hair in a halo of white and golden light. With the bits of dust danced around him it made Dean look like something from a dream. The vision had Castiel making every effort to focus his photographic memory on that single moment to keep with him forever. He never wanted to forget Dean, or let his face fade from his mind, not if he had any say in it. Dean spoke again, eyes still trained on the ceiling.

“I don’t know, but I think it was his way of kinda proving to us this was home, that he meant it when he promised we wouldn’t be moving around again. That this was where we will always be able to find him if we need him no matter where we ended up going after we left the nest.”

Dean finally brought his sight down and level as he shrugged as if dismissing the thoughts.

He turned his eyes to Castiel to find the other boy looking on him as if he was the most wonderous thing he had ever seen, a small smile gracing his lips.

Dean suddenly felt shy as he tilted his head in the direction of the ladder. “Up here, come on.”

Dean took to the steps first and Castiel couldn’t help the impulse to stare at Dean’s ass and upper legs as he took all nine steps to the top. Once he reached the loft, he straightened up to find the gambrel arch ended in what Castiel guessed was nine feet at the highest point of the arch leaving plenty of open feel to the room. The theme of deep red carpeting and dark oak paneling continued. Much like downstairs, the loft was basic furnishings of a simple full sized mattress, devoid of a box spring was on the floor. The head of the mattress was pushed against the farthest wall and centered. A large window behind it had thin navy blue colored curtains covering it. Only a streak of light peeking through where the curtains were slightly parted. The bed was made, a thick homemade quilt on top and two pillows, a night stand which held the book The Prophet on top that Chuck had given them to read and a simple lamp was the only other objects in the room.

Noting the book Castiel inquired, “I take it you sleep here sometimes?”

Dean just nodded and didn’t elaborate past that. Castiel walked over to the nightstand and picked up the book. “How much of it have you read?” He asked.

The response was arms snaking up and under Castiel’s jacket, fingertips trailing around until Dean’s palms were firmly planted on Castiel’s lower chest. Dean’s own chest solidly against his back. A shiver went through Castiel as Dean’s lips began to caress the span of skin between the nap of his neck on up to the spot just behind his ear. Dean’s thumbs stroked Castiel’s skin through his shirt and a gasp escaped as Dean took his earlobe between his lips. His tongue giving it a single flick before moving his lips to that sensitive place behind his ear and answered, “All of it.”

Castiel chuckled in disbelief, “Right.”

Dean didn’t even flinch when he replied. “And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of the little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”

That’s when Dean felt it. Castiel’s chest sunk in, muscles tight and when they released a loud intake of breath followed. Dean instantly became concerned. “Cas?”

A strangled sob was his only answer. “Hey, Cas? Hey.” He said as he turned the boy around, grabbing his face gently he saw Castiel’s eyes closed tight, his face wet with tears. “Cas, talk to me. Look at me.”

“Can’t,” he choked out still trying to hold the sounds of crying back that were still causing his center to cave with every exhale followed by a stuttering inhale. He was almost on the verge of hyperventilating. “Can’t.”

Dean’s eyes were searching his face now, leaning in closer.”Can’t what Cas? Cas, come on man. You’re scaring me.”

“Can’t leave you,” He was able to manage and Dean pulled him into him, wrapping his arms tight around him.

Castiel’s head was turned, cheek resting against the alcove of Dean’s chest. He continue to fight the full on meltdown his mind wanted to have. He had cried before. Tragedy or joy spun within his love worn books and moments when he felt his loneliest. This though felt like physical pain, deep in his chest and for the first time he finally understood the phrases; ‘ _broken heart_ ’ and ‘ _my heart is being ripped in two_ ’. During a particularly hard squeeze of his chest, he understood and he never wanted to feel anything like it again.

Dean, wrapped his arms tighter around Castiel. With eyes closed tight, he placed his lips firmly to the crown of Castiel’s head. Inhaling the scent of his hair he tried hard to commit it to memory. Dean turned his head, moving his mouth away so that he could speak. Steading his voice as best he could he soothed, “You’re not going to leave. You don’t know that yet right?”

He felt Castiel nod shortly against his chest before he pulled from him, looking away to hastily wipe away any evidence that he had been crying even though Dean knew perfectly well that he had been. “Sorry,” He practically whispered.

“For what?” Dean maked an incredulous face, “If you hadn’t broken down I was about five seconds from becoming Deanna myself.”

Castiel huffed and a small smile broke through the frown. “Calling me a girl again huh?”

Dean smiled wide then and rocked on the balls of his feet. “Yup, Cassie. Should have bought you a sexy pair of panties and a bra.”

Castiel was shaking his head at him. “I’m glad I’m free to expose my emotional side without judgement.”

Dean crossed the distance between them, “I’m only messing around. You let me cry all curled up against you this morning right?” Dean reminded him has he cupped Castiel’s face in his hands. Castiel nodded into them and smiled.

Dean leaned in with his mouth stopping short at the edge of Castiel’s lips. “Now, what were supposed to be doing? I think I forgot.”

Castiel nipped at the other’s hovering lips. “Bullshit,” he replied with the same lower voice.

Dean smile open mouth as he tilted his head, breath hot on Castiel’s slightly parted lips. “Yeah, I‘m totally fuckin lying.” With that, Dean captured Castiel’s mouth with his own, desperate and needy. Castiel returned it with as much force, clinging to Dean’s jacket as leverage as their head switched angles in an attempts to make the kiss as deep as they could. All that could be heard was their hasty fumbling and heavy exhales whenever their mouths opened to switch positions. Dean was the first to take off Castiel’s jacket as he moved forward, making Castiel have to take steps backwards. Once the jacket was off, Dean pulled back from the kiss that Castiel was chasing with his own mouth and groaned. Dean chuckled as he fished out the bottle and threw it on the bed, and threw the jacket away from them. Without wasting another moment their mouths were together again, but this time it was tender, and slow as if they had all the time in the world.

Dean made quick work of removing his jacket and shirt between kisses and Castiel did the same with his shirt. Dean moved forward a little more and Castiel’s ankles hit the foot of the bed. Castiel gave one last suck of Dean’s tongue and a nip to his lower lip before sitting down. His hands were instantly working on Dean’s  jean buttons and fly. The bulge of Dean’s erection pressing against the denim had Castiel’s mind buzzing from how aroused he felt. While his left hand pulled at the waistband of Dean’s jeans and boxers, the right rub Dean’s cock through the fabric. Dean, who had been watching him, closed his eyes as he let out a gasp.

Castiel’s eyes rose to look at Dean before returning his right hand to pulling down his jeans and boxers all the way. As he did so, Dean opened his eyes to look down into blue eyes dark and fixed on his. Dean’s heart did a flip and the electric like surge he totally related to Castiel’s super power shot through his center. Castiel made to take Dean’s dick into his hand and Dean reached down and took his wrist. He shook his head before speaking. “I don’t want to do that.”

Castiel tilted his slightly, brows knitted together and questioning.

Dean licked his lips as he lowered himself, knees on the floor. His eyes were now level with Castiel’s. The tenderness Castiel found here not only relaxed his brow and brought his head upright, it also made his stomach have strange sensations that caught his breath. He blinked and was about to ask ‘ _why not_ ’ when Dean added, “I just don’t want this to be like that. If this is- if this is the last time we can…” Dean didn’t finish, his voice got strangled down by the wide range of emotions that were slamming him all at once.

A thought suddenly came to Castiel and he voiced it before really thinking it through. “I want you Dean, like you wanted me that night.” He knew he wouldn’t have to explain any further.

Dean’s expression remained affectionate and he reached out his hand to run his fingers through Castiel’s hair and coming to rest at the nap of his neck where he bushed gentle strokes with his thumb. His voice gave away how much he wanted it. “You sure about that?”

“You really seemed to like it.” Even though it was a statement of observation, it was also a question begging for reassurance.

Dean huffed and smiled as he looked down shaking his head as he replied, “Dude, as embarrassing as this is to admit, it was the best sex I’ve ever had. It was really uncomfortable at first, but then something just took over. I don’t know.” He looked up at Castiel then. “I should feel bad about it, grossed out or some shit but honestly, I don’t. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but when I’m with you I just don’t care. You know? I just _want_ _you._ It’s this fucked up thing man, I don’t even know why I wanted it or why I still do.” Dean trailed off looking away again for a moment and then turned back. “ _If_ it’s what _you_ want.”

Castiel nodded, “I don’t want to leave here, if I do- without having been with you like that.” Castiel laughed then shaking his head at the absurdity of what he was going to say. “This is so fuckin gay to say, shit.” Castiel looked down as his face flushed a whole new shade of red. “Jesus.” He said before turning his eyes back to Dean who was smiling like the cat who caught the canary. He knew exactly what Castiel was about to say and he had no intentions of helping him out by saying it for him.

“I want _you_ to be the one I experience this with for the first time,” He said it so quickly he could work as an auctioneer.

“I’m sorry Cas. I couldn’t make that out. You might wanna say it a little slower,” Dean said through his smile.

“You are a jackass. I will not say it again,” Castiel shot back.

“It’s okay Cas, I think I understand. You want me to take your virginity.” His grin got impossibly wider as he chuckled at Castiel’s murderous glare. Dean closed his eyes taking his hand away from Castiel and putting it to his own chest in some mock gesture of a proper gentleman of the 1800’s. “It would be my honor to take the virginity of your sweet, sweet ass Cas! An honor I say, sir.”

Castiel shoved him hard enough that Dean fell back on his naked ass, his pants still hooked around his ankles, held in place by his black combat boots. Instead of being phased by it, Dean was laughing.

“I don’t think I want you to anymore,” Castiel said as he turned away acting disinterested.

“Aww, yes you do,” Dean said as he undid his boots and pulled them off and removed his socks.

“No, I honestly don’t.”

Dean removed his pants and then got back on his knees, walking over to Castiel again on them. “Aww. Come on. _Please_?” He begged as he began to undo Castiel’s jeans. He was sitting on his calves,  still smiling and looking up at him.

Castiel didn’t resist as Dean pulled at his zipper and once down, began tugging at his waistband. “You know you want me too.” He tugged and Castiel raised his ass enough for Dean to pull them to his ankles. “Your dick is telling me to do it.” He said as he undid his tennis shoes, taking them and his socks off before pulling Castiel’s pants the rest of the way off, tossing them to the other side of the room.

“Dean. I’m not even hard anymore.” Castiel informed the obvious before  turning back to him finally.

“Since when did your dick have to be hard to tell me what it wants?”

“Dicks don’t talk Dean. If yours does, you might want to consider a mental health evaluation,” Castiel deadpanned back.

“Oooo, you’re talking all nerdy. It’s sexy.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes and sat forward enough that his nose was nearly touching Dean’s. “Bite me!”

All at once he was tackled as Dean flung into his arms, pushing him down into the mattress as he straddled Castiel’s thighs. Dean leaned his weight over Castiel as his fingers dug into Castiel’s ribs, tickling as he laughed above him. “That can be arranged.”

Castiel started squirming and trying to buck Dean off of him but Dean had the advantage. “Stop! Stop it you fucker!” Castiel tried not to laugh but it wasn’t working. Dean was still laughing above him when Castiel worked his arms to make a shove at Dean’s chest to push him off. Dean quick grabbed his wrists in each hand. Castiel tried a few more half hearted movements to remove his arms from Dean’s firm grip when the expression on Dean’s face made him pause. They were both breathing heavy from wrestling against each other and laughing and the smile that had been on Dean’s face melted away to something else.

“What?” Castiel asked, breathless.

Dean took the wrists he still held and moved to pin them against the mattress above Castiel’s head. Dean leaned his weight against Castiel, their chests touching as they breathed in almost perfect timing. Dean’s face was close enough to Castiel’s for them both to feel the ghost of their exhales, but far enough away that each other’s faces were in full view.

“I love you Cas. Love you so much it fuckin’ physically hurts,” Dean said. “I don’t know how it happened. It scares me.” the last three words came out like confession in a near whisper.

Castiel’s eyes flickered over Dean’s face while he tried to not get swept up in the emotions those three words were causing to course through him. “I am he that aches with amorous love.” Castiel said and then confessed, “I’m scared too.”

There were no more words as Dean leaned down to claim Castiel’s mouth at first timid but  grew desperate. Dean released Castiel’s wrists to plant them to near each shoulder to give himself leverage. Castiel brought his hands up to tangle his fingers in Dean’s hair. Breaking for a moment Dean muttered, “Let’s get under the covers.”

Castiel nodded and they both separated. Dean had a point, it was warmer up here, but still chilly enough it wasn’t entirely comfortable. Dean lifted up and stood and Castiel did the same. Dean lifted the bedding to show not only was the quilt thick and heavy, but there was a fleece blanket under it. Dean slid in and keeping the covers up, Castiel slipped in beside him. Dean dropped the coverings around them, the weight of which felt like a shield between them and the world outside.. They were on their sides facing each other now, Dean’s free hand came to rest on Castiel’s exposed shoulder and in a slow glide down the length of his arm, made a detour as it wrapped around Castiel’s already almost hard again cock. Castiel’s breath hitched as he closed his eyes against the pleasure of the pressure surrounding him. A moment later his own free had migrated to wrap itself around Dean’s. Dean had a similar reaction, but punctuated it by kissing Castiel intimately and deep, their tongues almost licking into each other’s mouth at the same lazy rhythm of their thrusts into each other’s grip. It didn’t take long before Castiel felt the pleasure building towards release. This wasn’t what he wanted..

“Dean, I’m close.” He said against Dean’s mouth and Dean stopped his movements and gripped around the base, halting Castiel’s orgasm.

“Not yet.” Dean said and Castiel nodded in understanding. Castiel released his hold as Dean also did with him. Dean lifted up on his elbow looking for the bottle of lube. He found it laying between them and picked it up. Laying back down, looking at the bottle in his hand he informed, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Castiel thought on it a second and deciding that giving an anatomy lesson right now would kill the mood, he simply replied. “Just do what I did with you. Gentle, slow, give me time to adjust. I will let you know when you’re hitting the right place.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, yeah. I just don’t want to fuck this up.” He said as he popped open the cap and poured a generous amount onto his fingers. He recapped it and placed it behind their pillows. Castiel lifted his leg, bracing his foot against the mattress and then widened the spread as Dean’s hand reached down in between them and found its way to the crevice of Castiel’s ass before sliding up and in where his fingers rested against Castiel’s rim. Dean leaned in and began kissing Castiel again as he slid his middle finger in to the first knuckle. Castiel moaned and when Dean slid into the second knuckle, he could feel a tight band, that released after a few seconds and he wondered if that meant anything.

Like Castiel was reading his mind, he whispered against Dean's lips, "Feels good. Move."

Dean did as Castiel instructed. It wasn't much different from fingering a girl he rationalized so he tried to stop worrying about not doing it right and relaxed a little as he tried to pay attention to what Castiel's body talk was telling him.

This wasn't Castiel's first time doing this part. It was one of Meg's favorite things to do him whenever they got together. He had long since gotten over the embarrassment of being this kind of vulnerable but this wasn't Meg. This was someone new and someone he loved which made it a little more exposed. The knowledge that Dean was more inexperienced than himself in this did give him confidence to just let go though. Castiel pushed himself up on an elbow so he was slightly higher than Dean who was still on his side too. He pulled his hand out from between them and brought it around to slide it across Dean’s jaw line slowly, past his ear and wrapped his fingers in the hair in the back of his head. With his new vantage point, Castiel began moving with Dean’s hand motions as he deepened the kiss. It pulled a moan from Dean’s throat and the excitement doubled when Dean snaked his hand in the opening between Castiel’s arm and side created from him being perched on his elbow, and wrapped his fingers in the hair at the back of Castiel’s head too.

Dean’s mind was buzzing now, this was far more intimate and thrilling than anything he had ever done before. Castiel’s tongue lapping in his mouth, the sucking on his tongue the way Castiel was moving on his finger, the whimpers and stuttered exhales when the kiss would break for a few seconds. The way Castiel was pulling on his hair for leverage. It was almost too much. He felt high and he hadn’t smoked a damn thing.

“Another finger,” Castiel gasped then and Dean slid in his ring finger with the middle one and Castiel whimpered before adding, “Curve your fingers up more, put p-pressure.”

When Dean did he must of done something right because Castiel shouted, “Fuck!” and his propped leg shook.

Dean smiled against Castiel’s parted lips, “I take it I found the sweet spot?”

Castiel was still moving onto Dean’s fingers and he smiled then too. Breathlessly he replied, “Fuck _yes_. Do you feel it?” Castiel stilled his movements then.

Dean crooked his fingers again, this time searching rather than having any other intent. He wanted to learn how to make Castiel feel the best he could. If there were books written on this kind of thing, it wasn’t likely he would ever have access to them. So he had to learn on the job, so to speak. A moment later he felt something that felt like a knot which wasn’t very big, but prominent enough he was sure that was what he was looking for. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Rub your fingers on the sides of it and then-then roll your fingers over it. Just keep repeating that if you want me to come that way,” Castiel informed.

Dean nodded. “And the other way?”

Castiel smiled almost mischieviously before answering. “This is where I stop instructing and you fumble through it like I had to. You know where the important part is, you remember what I did, sorta. You’ll figure it out.”

“Dude, I was fuckin high! I just remember lots of ‘ _fuck yes!_ ’, burn, pressure that somehow became mindblowingly awesome and then coming so hard I thought I was going to die.”

Castiel kissed him tenderly on his bottom lip and said lowly, “You’ll figure it out.”

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes and added his index finger to the other two has he pushing in suddenly, completely satisfied by the other boy’s “Ugh!”

Dean tugged and pulled on the muscles around his fingers, hoping he had loosened them enough. Dean removed his fingers and Castiel sighed. He kissed Dean once more, long and deep before pulling away and turning into his stomach. Castiel grabbed one pillow and tucked under his waist, hissing as his unbearably hard cock touched it’s cool surface. Dean meanwhile grabbed the lube bottle and sat up, the warmth of the covers falling away, exposing their heated skin to the chilled air. The contrast felt really good. Castiel hugged the pillow to him, his heart thundering. As assured he wanted to appear for Dean’s sake, Castiel was scared and excited at the same time. The importance of this moment ever present. Once they had done this, once Castiel had crossed that line, he knew there was no going back for him. Change was always constant in his life, change was always scary. This change though felt like some kind of metamorphosis taking place and he tried to relax as his heart flipped in his chest and his core did that all too familiar surge.

Dean uncapped the bottle and poured and shit-ton into his hand and tossed the bottle to the side after closing the cap. He split the mess between both hands. His nerves having caused his erection to go down some, he began to stroke himself with one lubed hand as he used the other to spread the lube into Castiel’s ass crack, around and just inside the rim. Just the sight of Castiel like this, Dean straddling his thighs, legs closed. Long toned back of tan skin leading to the lighter shade untouched by the sun. To an ass all smooth and youthful skin. The tight curve of muscle on the outer edge of each cheek, the gleam of the lube acting like an obscene exclamation mark. The sight turned him painfully hard in mere seconds.  

“You going to stare all day?” Castiel asked. The words were muffled by his head to the side, cheek pressed against his upper arm. His lower arms and hands were tucked under the pillow holding his head.

“Shut up,” Dean said as he realized he was trembling. Lowering himself, planting a palm on the mattress to one side of Castiel closest to his shoulder. Looking down and in between them, the hand still on his cock as he used it to line himself up. Dean rubbed the head of it against the entrance and Castiel hummed beneath Dean raising his ass to meet him which caused the head to push in. Castiel groaned this time burying his face in his pillow.

As Dean pushed in more, the tight heat had his eyes closing as they rolled back. Dean felt Castiel’s muscles around him loosen and almost on some instinct he knew it was time to press in slowly the rest of his length. As he fully seated himself, a breathless whisper of “Oh God.” escaped his mouth before he could catch it. Dean’s arm was shaking so much he lowered to himself onto his elbows as his forehead rested in between Castiel’s shoulder blades. “Oh God Cas,” He said again in a whimper.

Castiel lifted his hips as a gesture for him to move. “Dean?”

 **  
**Dean rolled his head back and forth, forehead still resting on Castiel’s skin. “Can’t. God Cas I can’t.” despite this admission, Dean eased back and pushed back in with a slow, lazy thrust. He was still shaking, stage fright and over stimulation were at tug-o-war, but as soon as he started to let his body take over, he lost awareness of anything but Castiel under and around him.

The first push in of Dean felt uncomfortable. The burn causing him to bury his face in the pillow, teeth biting down into the fabric. Once Dean started moving it became pressure that just like Dean had said, turned into something else entirely. It felt so fucking good he couldn’t help but push back against each of Dean’s forward thrusts but it wasn’t enough. He started to pushing himself up off the mattress just as Dean’s arm reached around his waist and pulled him into a kneeling position. In frantic maneuvering without ever moving from their connection, Castiel was straddling Dean’s legs that were now together, his chest against Castiel’s back. Without missing a beat Castiel began to move over Dean, finding his own rhythm. It was perfect especially with Dean’s arms around him, anchoring.

“Fuck!” was all Dean managed before using one of his hands to tilt Castiel’s face towards his so he could kiss his lips and lick into his mouth messily as Castiel continued to move over him.

The new position had Dean hitting him perfectly every time and before he knew it he could feel the build up coiling itself tighter and tighter. In some instinctual prompt, the sensation drove him to ride Dean harder and faster. Throwing his hand behind him, he grabbed a handful of Dean’s hair which caused the other boy to hiss into his ear.

“Cas,” Dean whispered as he reached his hand around him and no sooner had Dean wrapped his fingers around Castiel’s cock, Castiel was coming.

“Shit! Fuck! Uh,” Castiel heard himself say as he came so forcefully and drawn out that he thought it would never end.

Castiel’s rhythmic squeezing around him and the tight grip pulling at his hair was all it took before Dean was filling him up. “God Cas. Cas. Cas,” sputter from between his lips into Cas’ shoulder, strangled and full of more emotion than he wanted to admit to himself.

The sensation of Dean’s pulsing inside him, the knowledge he was spilling into him made Castiel feel complete in a way he didn’t think was possible and would never be any other way. He was in love and it was a truth seared into his heart. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Dean was who he wanted for the rest of his life.

Neither moved and Dean was placing affectionate kisses along Castiel’s neck and over his shoulder with both arms wrapped around the other possessively. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s, hugging the embrace as he smiled and hummed.

“You’re so perfect, Cas, So fucking perfect. That was...” Dean said and as he trailed off he huffed and smiled. He kissed Castiel’s shoulder once more before shaking his head. “I don’t even know how to put it into words.”

They were rocking ever so slightly from side to side. “Don’t try. I don’t think there really are words for something like this,” Castiel said.

Dean planted a kiss on Castiel’s cheek before unwrapping his arms from around him. Taking a quick look around, he saw his shirt just to the side and in reach. He winced at the thought of Axel’s skull getting a face full of love juices and lube.

“Forgive me GnR for what I’m about to do,” Dean mumbled as he leaned slightly and picked it up. Castiel chuckled as he moved off of Dean’s lap. Dean handed Castiel the shirt, “You first. I uh, remember how messy the after effects where,” Dean turned away to allow Castiel a little bit of privacy while he cleaned himself off.

“Oddly, I rather enjoyed that part too much to care about the mess,” Castiel said making quick work of cleaning the mess on the bed and himself before handing the dry end of the shirt out to Dean.

Dean turned to him and took it. “Same.” was all he said as he clean himself off, squeezing out anything else left over and tossing the soiled shirt into corner of the room. Castiel was already starting to get up to dress when Dean stopped him.

“Hey, we have a little while before Jo or my Dad show up. I not saying let’s cuddle cause- _gay_ , but I’m not really ready to go back out there.”

Castiel smiled and nodded. “Yeah me either to be honest,” He sat back down at the head of the mattress and pulled the covers up around them once Dean was beside him. They settled in side by side in comfortable silence before Dean suddenly turned on his side, reached over with both arms and pulled Castiel against him.

Castiel chuckled as Dean nuzzled his face into his hair just behind his ear and hummed. His eyes were closed and a sleepy smile spreading across Dean’s mouth.

“What happened to snuggling being _gay_?” Castiel asked as he folded his arms over the one Dean had over him.

Dean moved his arm from under Castiel and put it in between them. The backs of his fingers stroking lightly at the side of Castiel’s thigh. “I might’ve been too hasty in my assessment of the situation.”

“Riiiiight.” Castiel said chucking.

A few moments later Dean’s fingers had stilled and Castiel turned  to look at him. Dean was a sight to behold when awake but in slumber, he could give the most breathtaking sights in the whole world, a run for its money. It was the sound of the Impala that caused Dean to stir, but he did so lazily rather than in a panic which is what Castiel was expecting.

“Well, funs over,” Dean said rubbing his eyes and giving Castiel a quick kiss on his lips before getting up.

Castiel watched him for a moment, committing the view to memory before rising himself. Both of them made quick work of getting their clothes on. Having no shirt to wear, Dean slipped on his jacket and buttoned it up before zipping it.

They made their way out of the converted barn, with Dean locking the door and replacing the key where he had gotten it from. They crossed the driveway, passing the Impala which Dean’s fingers gleaned over the smooth and shiny surface.

When they stepped inside, John who was still in his work attire was fishing a beer out of the fridge. He turned to them with a faint smile on his lips as he popped the top off the bottle and threw in the trash. “Hey. I hear there’s a bonfire tonight?”

“Oh, yeah I meant to ask. It just all fell together,” Dean apologized.

John didn’t reply to Dean’s apology and instead said, “I know. Jo Beth is on her way. Ellen called me making sure I was going to be home to keep on eye on things. Who else is coming?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Anna?” Dean answered and John nodded.

“Actually, that would be a good idea,” John agreed.

Taking that as a request, Castiel turned to go to the other room to use the phone.

When Dean turned back to his dad, he was taking a long drag from his bottle. When he pulled it from his lips, he had his eyes trained to the stairs but his eyes were unfocused. He looked tired and something else which made Dean concerned.

“You okay dad?”

John turned to him as if started from thoughts. “Oh, yeah Dean. I’m good. Just tired. I’m going to be turning in early tonight. You can have the bonfire but I would prefer it if you guys bedup in the apartment. Supposed to be in the thirties tonight.”

Dean nodded in confirmation, “Yeah okay,” He was hoping his dad didn’t see the red making his cheeks burn as thoughts from earlier seeped in.

“Don’t leave the space heaters running.”

While within any other house, such instruction would pass without a second thought. In this house though, it came weighted and meant far more.

“Yes sir.”

John nodded, the sad expression not lost on Dean. He wanted to ask his dad once more if he was okay, but thought better of it as his dad opened the fridge again, taking the whole six pack with him as he walked to his room with no other words.

Dean was snapped from his thoughts when Castiel came back into the room. “Anna will be here. Amelia won’t be coming. Gabriel and Sam are riding out to pick her up,” He informed.

Dean’s nod was his only reply. Castiel was about to ask him what was wrong when the phone rang again. They both looked at each other, their hearts simultaneously picking up speed. On the third ring Dean went to it and picked up the receiver. A man's voice came over the line deep and impersonal, “May I speak with Gabriel Novak?” Dean knew it was a command and not really a request.

“Yeah, sure,” Dean didn’t have to look for Gabriel, he was standing right beside him when he looked up. Gabriel reached out his hand with a solemn expression and Dean lowered his eyes before handing him the phone. Dean left the room so he didn’t have to hear anything and found Castiel sitting in the recliner, as far away from ear shot as he could get.

Gabriel took a deep breath before putting the phone to his ear. “What’s up bro?” he said in as joyous a tone as he could manage.

As usual, there were no pleasantries as Michael cut to the chase, “Luci came to my office the other day.”

Gabriel nearly choked on his own spit, “Wha-what?! Luci?”

“Yes, I was as shocked as you are. Unfortunately it was a confrontation rather than a pleasant affair. There are things about Luci father has strictly forbidden being revealed, but with his reemergence I have felt the need to press father to inform you of what your brother has been up to. This would require a face to face, of course.”

Gabriel was still stunned from the reveal that Luci was coming around again after years of being invisible. The tone in his reply reflected as much. “Uh, yeah okay. When?” He could almost hear his brother’s eyes roll from behind the phone.

“Unfortunately, not anytime in the near future. I pleaded with father to request your return for your own safety, but father was explicit that you stay where you are for now.”

“Wait.” Gabriel cut in. “Our safety?”

“I really must go now Gabriel.” Michael responded calmly, the sound of papers shuffling in the background, the engine of a car and the voices of a man and a woman in the background. He was obviously traveling via limo to meet with their father. Gabriel swore Michael never slept.

“You can’t just drop that and then take off,” Gabriel bit back, frustration and a little fear growing.

Michael either didn’t hear him or he ignored him all together, “Until I’m able to come there, you are to watch out for your brother and sister. You are to be responsible for them in my absence. Do we have an understanding?”

Gabriel was angry and as much was comminucated when he replied through gritted teeth. “Yeah, we have an understanding.”

Without so much as an adieu, Michael hung up in his end with a solid click.

“Dick!” Gabriel said as he slammed the phone into the base. He turned around to see he was the sole one left in the dining room. Peeking into the living room he found no one there but heard the faint sound of talking from upstairs. So he made his way up them to find Jo among the group. He hadn’t heard her arrive or come in. His heart was suddenly hammering. He also noted how far apart his brother and his boy toy were sitting. He assumed it was because Jo was in the room and that shit just wasn’t going to fly.

“What did Michael say?” Castiel asked, his voice shaking a little.

“Not much.” Gabriel said with a sigh. “You know how he is. Just, no worries on the having to scoot out, Father wants us to stay put. For once I guess we need to thank him.”

Relief flooded Castiel. He knew they were not out of the woods yet, but at least he had more time with Dean who was looking as relieved as he was. Dean turned his eyes to Castiel who caught his and a small smile stretched across his mouth which Castiel returned.

Gabriel’s next words had both of them turning back to him. “So, who’s riding with me to go pick up Anna?”

Everyone said ' _me_ ' and Gabriel chuckled. “I’m not going to be able to fit everyone in my car.”

“We’ll just take mine. We can squeeze six, especially for a thirty minute round trip,” Jo offered.

The offer was accepted and after putting on a new shirt, Dean made his way to his dad’s room. He knocked on the door and when he heard a faint, “Yeah?” from the other side he opened it to find his dad sitting on his bed, beer in one hand and remote in the other as he watched a football game on the TV. Dean frowned when he saw his dad was already nearly through the six pack already.

“Uh, we are heading out to pick up Anna. That okay?” Dean asked timidly, not fully in the room, hanging onto the half opened door.

John turned his eyes briefly to Dean and nodded once before turning them back to the screen. “Yeah son. Just don’t linger. Straight there and straight back.”

John turned back to Dean, glassy bloodshot eyes causing concern to stir within him at the state his dad was in. Something wasn’t right. “S-sure dad, okay.”

John nodded and turned back to the tv again and Dean took that as his cue to leave. Closing the door softly behind him, he tried to push down the unease sweeping over him.

When they got out to the car, Jo handed her keys off to Gabriel who had mentioned he wanted to drive, and they piled into the car. Jo took the front passenger and Sam was maneuvered to sit in between Dean and Castiel by his brother.

“Since when are you two not wrapped around each other like a couple of octo-pussies?” Gabriel asked with a humored expression and tilt of his head, his eyes on Dean via the rearview mirror.

Dean’s eyes blew wide, Sam snorted and Castiel rolled his eyes with a firm “Gabe!” flying from his lips. Jo looked over at Gabriel, and seeing him looking at someone in the back, she turned around throwing looks between Dean and Castiel. The silence that followed was deafening. It was Jo who broke it.

“Are you two, like together?” Her features showing nothing of what she was thinking.

Dean just looked at her, fear evident on his face. It didn’t help matters that Castiel had turned his eyes on him as well awaiting his answer.

For Jo, the silence was her answer. “Cause if you are that’s cool. Kinda hot actually.

Gabriel had already backed up and turned the car towards the lane leading from the house to the main road. At her admission he shot a quick look and then back to the road.

“Why Jo, you kinky minx,” He said with an amused grin as he flipped on his blinker to turn out. He looked at her again before turning the car onto the main road. Her eyes were on him, a twinkle in her eye which caused Gabriel’s dick to perk up in interest.

“What? I’ve seen gay porn. Two men getting it on is just hot.” She chuckled amused.

“Gay porn?” Dean said like it was the first time he had heard that there was such a thing. Truth was, it really _was_ the first time he has ever heard of such a thing.

Jo turned around to him again and narrowed her eyes at him, scrutiny evident. “Are you serious Dean? You’ve never heard of gay porn?!”

Dean was still shaking, but he was of enough mind to shoot her a bitch face. “The only porn I get to see is in the magazines I sneak from my dad’s room, or Ash brings to school stuffed between his math book!”

Sam piped in, “Or the porn we have tried recording on cable at uncle Bobby’s! Remember? He didn’t have Cinemax but when the fuzzy pictures would hit a white background, we could see everything well enough!”

“Yeah, but that shit wasn’t gay!” Dean corrected and Sam shrugged. When Dean turned to Jo she was smiling really wide.

“What?!” He asked irritably.

“Have you seen girl on girl action?” She said slyly biting her bottom lip trying not to laugh.

“N-no,” Dean said feeling like he was under a magnifying glass.

Gabriel looked at him through the rearview and Castiel leaned forward and turned his face to him. Both of them saying, “What?!” in unison.

Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively, his cheeks flaming red in embarrassment.. “Shut up,” He mumbled.

“We’re going to fuckin remedy that shit right there!” Gabriel said matter-of-factly.

“I have a couple guy on guy action on vhs I’ll lend you,” Jo said excitedly. Seeing Dean’s expression looking nervous and like he was caught at something he shouldn’t have been.

Jo saw the shame there and offered,  “Dean, do you think two girls getting it on is gross?”

Dean turned to her. “What? No.”

“Well, then it’s the same with guys. It’s not gross or wrong. It’s normal for some people.”

She saw his shoulders relax some and then added, “Besides, everyone already thinks you two are making out.”

Dean sputtered then, “Everyone?!”

Jo laughed, “Yeah, idiot. You two almost kissed in the gym remember? Right in front of Ash and Garth, everyone in our crew?” Jo laughed. “I’m pretty certain Ash has a betting pool going right now about it.”

She saw the look of pure terror on his face. She reached back and slapped at his leg playfully, “I’m kidding Dean.”

Dean turned his eyes to Gabriel, “Thanks douchebag.”

Gabriel huffed at him, eyes narrowed into the rearview. “I’m sorry Dean-o, but my brother’s happiness outweighs your gay-panic. Not going to have you two spending the night pinning and miserable because you think Jo is the kind of person to judge you. Or any of your friends for that matter. If they do, they're not much in the way of friends. Are they? Now you know Jo's a real friend. Win win.”

Jo turned to Gabriel and the thank you written on her face had him nodding once at her before turning his eyes back to the road.

Her expression turned serious. “Dean? I know you’re worried about people saying shit but like, Ash, Garth, Becky? We _are_ your friends. We would never judge you. I mean, what if I told you I liked girls? Would you treat me any different?”

Dean’s eyes caught hers and he saw the sincerity there and the vulnerability. “No. Wait, you like girls?”

Jo nodded shyly. “I mean, I like guys just as much. I was confused for a while, but I was fortunate to have my mom to talk to. Maybe you could talk to your da-”

“No!” Dean nearly shouted and the car got very quiet.

Jo chanced to ask, “Why not?”

“Are you fuckin kidding?! Dad would flip!” Dean was looking at her like she had grown an extra head.

“Your dad isn’t a dick Dean.” Jo countered. “He knows my mom is bi. He still likes her a lot.”

Dean was taken back by that. “Your mom?”

Jo nodded. “Yeah Dean. You didn’t know my mom dated a woman for a while after dad died?”

Dean shook his head silently still trying to wrap his mind around it.

Jo sighed, a sympathetic expression turned his way. “Dean. Some people can be cruel about this sort of thing, especially with dudes, but not everyone is like that. You need to trust your friends to care more about you than they do about who you're into. You should also trust your dad to be more concerned about you being happy then about you liking guys. He’s a good man Dean.”

“I know.” Dean answered but added, “But I’m not talking to him Jo and I swear if it gets out to him…” he shot a look at Gabriel who was looking at him again. “Just, if you really are my friends you won’t let it get out to him.”

Jo sighed, defeated. “Yeah, okay Dean. No one would do that if it’s not what you want.” She squeezed his leg reassuringly before turning back around for the rest of the trip to the Novak house.

When they arrived, Gabriel went into the house and when he came back he was carrying a stack of what Dean assumed was lesbian porn mags. Sam had moved from between Dean and Cas, pushing Dean over with his butt util Dean was against Cas.

Sam sighed and shook his head at his brother’s disgruntled look. After Anna threw her bag into the trunk she crawled into the back, there was barely any room for her so she took one leg and threw it over Sam’s lap which had Sam’s face red and Dean narrowing his eyes at him.

Dean was starting to see his brother in a whole new light, and he wasn’t sure he was down with what he was seeing. He didn’t have a chance to think on it much more when magazines were flung into his lap, pulling his attention. Castiel eagerly grabbed one and opened it.

“Oh heeeello Ms. October licking Ms. June!” Castiel said smiling wide and impressed.

Dean looked over at what he was looking at and his pants grew tighter instantly. Ms. October had her tongue out, the tip of which was just barely touching the crest of Ms. June’s very firm nipple. In turn, Ms. June’s fingers were buried in Ms. October’s trimmed bush. Dean adjusted himself and Castiel looked down at Dean’s arousal. He grinned as he looked into Dean’s eyes. “These will make things interesting.” He said to Dean who cleared his throat.

Anna laughed as she grabbed up two of her own and handed one off to Sam.

Gabriel handed a magazine he was still clutching to Jo. “This is my most prized possession. Best skin mag in my collection,” he said proudly.

Jo laughed and took it from him. Opening it she gave a whistle. “Wow! Nice tastes!” she said as she flipped through it.

“Yeah, I guess I do have pretty good tastes.” He said and when she looked up at him he was smiling at her in a way that made her breath catch. She smiled back as he started the car.

Fifteen minutes later, they were back at the house and piling out of the car. Gabriel collected up the magazines and put them carefully in Anna’s bag in case John happened to still be up. The chill that greeted Dean as he got out of the car reminded him that they would be staying in the apartment. “This way guys. Dad said no tents tonight cause it was gonna get too cold.”

Everyone followed him to the door and waited for him to get the key. Opening it, he let them in. Gabriel put his sister’s bag down. “Nice digs. We still doing the bonfire?”

“Yup.” Dean said simply,  not taking the time to elaborate. Castiel figured it had something to do with Dean still being pissed at Gabe, but he knew why his brother did it and he couldn’t help to feel anything but grateful he had a brother like him.

Dean continued, “We have sleeping bags and cots in the shed. Figured between those and the couch everyone would be comfortable.” After a moment more of silence, Dean gestured his head back towards the door, hands in his pocket protectively. “Come on, let’s get the fire going.”

~*~

Michael knocked on his father’s office door. A hurried “Come in.” sounded from behind it.

Hemmiel was on the phone and obviously not please with whomever was on the other end. He gestured with his hand for Michael to take a seat, which he did.

“I don’t really care how you get the shipment through and I don’t _care_ whose balls you have to bust to get it done. I don’t pay you to fail. Now, call me again with your incompetence and considered yourself fired.”

There was a pause and Michael could hear a faint female voice over the line to which his father answered. “And that’s all I want to fucking hear from you.”

Hemmiel slammed the phone down and straightening his tie that had turned itself around, sat down behind his desk. It was a good minute of looking at something on his computer screen before Michael spoke. “Naomi?”

His father never looked away from the screen as he answered. “Woman can’t do anything on her own accord without groveling to me asking what it is she needs to do. I give orders, I don’t wipe asses.”

“I still don’t know why you don’t just fire her.” Michael said and his father finally turned to him then.

“Because unwavering loyalty my son. It is not easy to earn and respect even harder to keep. She may hate me, but she _is_ loyal and her respect well anchored.” Hemmiel answered in a tone as if he was teaching some great wisdom. His steel blue eyes which reminded Michael of Luci’s made him shiver.

“What are we going to do about Luci father?” Michael asked.

His eyes grew harder in some silent reprimand. “Continue to watch him.”, he answered as if it was the end of the subject.

“And nothing more?” Michael chanced.

His father had already turned his eyes back to the screen and was typing something out. “Nothing more.” he answered.

“You know he is in the same town as my brothers- my sister?” Michael asked, his anger not hidden.

“He won’t hurt them.” Hemmiel informed.

“How do you know?”

Hemmiel turned to him then, his voice softening. “He hates _us_ Michael. We have both distanced ourselves from them as much as possible to keep them out of his line of fire. To keep him from being jealous of them and thus fixating his anger on them. If anything, he is simply curious. He hasn’t seen them in years and we know he is working with Alastair who happens to be in town too. Once your brother is done with his business, his curiosity sated, he will leave and turn his eyes once more on us.”

Michael wasn’t convinced, not this time. There had been something in his brother’s expression that made him afraid. Not just for him and his father, but for his siblings. It was a look of man who had lost the last lifeline to his sanity.

Before Michael could think any deeper on his fears, his father called his attention to him again. “We have a meeting with a representative from Kuwait in ten minutes. You have the development plans and contract ready?

“Yes father.”

~*~

 

The bonfire was a bust since it was discovered the snow had managed to settle on the logs that were on the porch even though it was covered. So they settled down in the apartment with cots and sleeping bags already ready to go.

Mötley Crüe’s ‘ _Too Young to Fall In Love_ ’ playing in the background on Dean’s boombox that he had carried over. The two half empty bottles of whiskey were now completely drained and the mostly full one sat near gone on the floor beside the couch which Gabriel, Jo and Sam were cuddled up on.[  
](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDwQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FM%25C3%25B6tley_Cr%25C3%25BCe&ei=L73rVNjWHMKyyATqtIKwCw&usg=AFQjCNEqEBIV_j6Hf4fYnv90syDqQwiFdQ&sig2=pzSqDiv-SN19loGi8yZc9g&bvm=bv.86475890,d.aWw)

Gabriel was sitting in the middle with Jo and Sam’s head perched on each of his legs. Jo was talking to Anna about something Dean couldn’t get his inebriated brain to discern while Gabriel was lighting their second bowl. After a long draw he passed the pipe to Jo. Gabriel held the smoke then blew it towards Sam who took a deep inhale. After some minor argument with Dean about wanting to try it, Dean had settled on letting brother shotgun from him, and that had now turned into lazy inhales from whatever Gabriel offered. Dean watched them now and he was thankful he was high as a fucking kite because he would have punched Gabriel in the face by now.

Castiel seemed to be able to tell because he was in Dean’s lap, straddling him a second later. Dean was still looking at the trio on the couch and it was a good thing Castiel was in his lap because when Gabriel started lazily running the fingers of both his hands through Jo and Sam’s hair he about came off the cot he was sitting on. Castiel grabbed both sides of his tense jaw and turned his face to his. Dean’s neck was stiff and resistant but he finally allowed his vision to focus on Castiel. “Hey. It’s okay Dean,” he said low enough for just the two of them to hear as he started kissing the corners of Dean’s mouth softly. “It’s okay.”

“Like hell, Dean slurred through half laden, bloodshot eyes.

Anna tapped Castiel’s arm and he looked over to see her handing him the pipe and lighter. He took it and put it to Dean’s lips which Dean brought a hand up and held onto it while Castiel flicked the lighter and stuck it to the ashed herb. Dean took a good long draw and passed it to Castiel who took one of his own. Turning slightly, Castiel handed both off to Sam who took them and gave it to Gabriel. When Castiel turned back to Dean, a plume of smoke was leaving his lips but his eyes were on Gabriel again.

“Come upstairs with me Dean.” Castiel said as he removed himself from Dean’s lap.

Standing he reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged him slightly. “Dean.”

Dean turned to him then and Castiel commanded again. “Come to bed Dean.”

Dean allowed himself to be pulled to standing even though he was vaguely aware of having stood.

As if floating in some disconnected dream, Dean found himself naked and begging Castiel to be in him. What felt like just a blink Dean was on his back with Castiel heavy over the top of him as he was thrusting into Dean hard. Between the euphoria of the high and the sensation of Castiel gripping him as he hit that perfect place over and over, he was overwhelmed.

“Cas. Oh God, Cas,” He barely choked out before looking into Castiel’s eyes and his orgasm hit him with such force he saw white behind his eyelids as they closed tight. His breath coming in pants between gritted teeth as he felt Castiel fill him up.

His last thoughts were of how fucking great it felt, how the knowledge that Castiel was spilling into him made his heart flip and stutter. The last thing he heard was Castiel whispering over and over into his ear, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name for the Novak's father, Hemmiel was chosen because in the show, the angels were actually obeying the orders of Heaven instead of God (Chuck). The name Hemmiel is my personal variation of Hemmel (Dutch for Heaven or Canopy) and Himmel (the German equivalent of the English word Heaven). I like mixing my lore knowledge within even non-supernatural AUs. Call it a sickness. lol


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